The night is solitary,
not sadness.
It is the embrace of the moon
that makes for good company rather
than the unforgiving sun.
These neon lights will not fade,
nor the city ambience-
the soundtrack to my nights.
Once again,
I find myself with a bottle in hand
as the dying dusk comes and goes-
I sigh.

I wish I never
had to say goodbye
and I wish our goodnights
weren't stretched across the world.
I do not wish for many things
but I wish you to be the
first and last face I see
each and every day.

If you get sick of me,
then I wish your days are
filled with happiness but
when the night comes,
I may not be there
to say goodnight.

Knowing that you are
loved is what keeps this heart beating.
I hope you know just how cherished you are
and how many smiles you bring to so many people.
I think I speak for everyone when I say
what a difference you have made in so many lives
and that we will be forever grateful.

Memories never leave us,
no matter how much time has passed.
How selfish of the human mind-
to dig up memories
one thought they had buried
long ago.

From the beginning,
I knew our time was limited
but that did not stop me from choosing you.
Perhaps I thought and hoped that
the more times we said 'I love you',
the greater the chance that
we would make it.

Grief is a
strange thing, isn't it?
One day it consumes you,
the next, you are okay.
And then, without warning,
grief strikes again at a reminder
of what once was.
You are not okay,
again.

Grief may take different forms
but it is there every day.
Some days it weighs on us more than others,
so much that you cannot breathe as if
crushed by the gravity of a
black hole in your heart-
it consumes all that it orbits
and not even light nor joy can escape its grasp.
Sometimes grief can be a burning sun
or a barren, cold moon
forsaken by its planet
all too long ago.

Grief is a black cloud lurking above,
it shadows all who we dearly love.
One day it rains and drowns the soul
and we lose that love and pay the toll.

Rain turns to storm and life withers away
draining all the colour leaving nothing but grey.
Oh, how we wish we could turn back time-
to undo this remorse and break the paradigm.

Our tears fall like rain as we look back
at all the memories now faded to black.
But you will live on forever in my mind
as I have no choice but to leave you behind.

In this storm I am trying to find a way
out of this night and back into day
where I can find sun and solace in life again
and look back and smile from a place of zen.

I have done it once and I'll do it again,
to be my strongest every now and then.
Grief is a journey so very long and slow
but even in storms, new seeds can grow.

I have a compulsive habit
where I tend to cut people off
the second they get close to me.
Maybe I do this because
I’m terrified of being hurt again;
but maybe the reason isn’t important.
I tend to cut them off quickly
but allow you to stay
in the background like a radio;
On, yet no one is listening to it.
I’ll cut off anyone that reminds
me of you because maybe
if I ignore you long enough
you’ll fade away.

If I am going
to be a lesson I hope
I was a good one

6:22 PM
15/8/21

the cold of winter
can ruin a lonely heart-
brace for the cold, love

8:34 PM
7/12/19

But I have never
cared about taking myself
so seriously

4:26 PM
25/3/22

It does not matter
anymore but that does not
mean it does not hurt

8:50 PM
23/6/23

Did you know that this
smile only exists when
I'm alone with you

11:06 PM
9/12/20

I do not need you,
I think I just need to not
need you anymore

11:02 AM
24/10/20

Try ween yourself off
of the need for attention
and see what happens

6:01 PM
19/6/23

How do I get back
all of this love that I gave
to the wrong people?

7:18 AM
22/7/22

Finding the right soul
is like searching for life in
the dark space above

1:25 PM
8/9/19

I live only to
survive the nights that feel cold
and dark and lonely

10:48 PM
21/9/24

Don’t ask to love me
when what you really mean is
you want to touch me

6:19 PM
27/2/20

What if I could be
your light when all of the stars
burn out forever?

10:45 PM
3/1/21

I wonder if I
still haunt you like you haunt me-
a living nightmare

10:06 AM
5/2/22

Hold my beating heart,
it's the only piece of me
I still live without

3:59 PM
12/9/20

I'm not strong enough
to not give my love to those
who don't deserve it

10:14 AM
16/5/21

The way the twilight
reflects off of her shoulders
tempts me all night long

4:01 PM
2/8/19

Another Christmas
without you and it doesn't
become easier

6:45 PM
23/9/21

Our conversations
mean more to me than you think-
I cherish them all

3:48 PM
22/2/22

To be positive
does not mean to be happy
the entire time

11:13 PM
25/2/22

Everybody's book
has some pages they'd rather
tear out and forget

12:02 PM
10/7/21

So what is there left
for me to get excited
about anymore?

3:55 PM
26/11/20

There's someone out there
who feels better just because
you are in their life

7:46 PM
19/8/21

Always reading too
deeply into dreams that are
better left untouched

5:25 PM
11/12/20

it's all about who
you eat pizza with at
two in the morning

10:49 PM
2/7/19

If you make a heart
your home then surely you too
will end up homeless

8:10 PM
18/7/22

It was you who hurt
me and yet I was the one
who apologized

11:50 PM
22/9/22

I am still depressed,
I just don't think about it
as much anymore

11:01 PM
30/1/22

Can the aura of
this dream linger with me for
a little longer?

11:25 AM
7/10/19

I want your kisses
to burn a hole through my head
and leave me breathless

10:43 PM
3/1/21

we can just travel
from country to country and
we can disappear

9:40 PM
10/9/19

There are only so
many battles you can fight
so pick them wisely

11:05 PM
10/6/19

Write down all the things
they will miss about you and
hang it on your wall

11:39 AM
24/12/20

Perhaps I am not
alone as I thought I was-
perhaps they do care

4:15 PM
29/12/21

I'm in need of your
love, warmth and affection to
guide me through the night

11:05 AM
7/9/19

Why are we always
looking for love in the wrong
people and places?

6:39 PM
7/11/20

The burden of hope
is bound to take its toll on
everyone one day

11:56 PM
15/5/21

How can I love you
when I still have not yet learnt
how to love myself?

6:20 PM
13/6/21

You said forever
but you did not mention just
how short it would be

1:12 AM
28/8/22

Oh London, you were
a dream and a nightmare all
wrapped up into one

7:37 AM
19/2/20

How many times can
the same thing destroy your heart?
I think I've lost count

8:34 PM
13/5/22