i need a break
so please take me away from here
take me somewhere far

let me forget about this life
i'm in too much pain
too much to handle
i need to breathe
i need to feel free

take me somewhere beautiful
where the sun shines down on me
and take me on a car ride
on a long open road

put the top down
so i can close my eyes
and outstretch my arms like wings
taking off and flying
i will become one with the wind in my hair

take me to the ocean
and i'll catch up with the waves
tell them how much i missed them
and we'll laugh about the last time we met

take me to a field of wildflowers
where i won't be able to leave
i'll lay down right in the middle of them
and become friends with all the insects
because just like them
i love the flowers too

take me stargazing
laying in the back of a pickup truck
with millions of stars staring back at us
we'll have so many blankets and pillows
and i will wish i could be part of the sky
so much it will bring tears to my eyes
and you won't understand that
because i can't explain
it just reminds me of how much
i want to get out of this place

take me to the forest
and i'll lay right there on the ground
staring up at the trees hoping it rains
because then
i'll feel so close to where i came from

take me to an apple orchard
because i feel like i belong
and i can't really explain that one
just know i love being among the apple trees

take me to a cabin in the middle of the woods
away from the whole entire world
and show me what it's like to love me
leave your mark on me
and i will be floating

take me to a vacant playground
and watch me swing on the swingset
reminiscing about being young
sweet nostalgia
watch me touch the clouds

i just need a break
so please take me away from here
somewhere i can feel free

snow is falling
piano playing in the background
grey skies
dead leaves litter the ground
tree limbs creaking in the wind
soaked clothes
numb
no more feelings
heart frozen
head aching
body breaking
walk out to the big oak tree
heart buried in the snow
leave it
leave it there
don't care for it
hypothermic love
i gave up a long time ago

i don't love you anymore
i know that for sure
i'm in love with someone else now
but why did my heart hurt a little
when i saw you with someone else?
i never want you back
i never even want to look at you again
i haven't looked at you in days
but our eyes met today
and my heart dropped
you were my first real love
maybe i'm glad i didn't have many relationships in school
because after you break up
you see pieces of what you used to be everywhere

the bleachers in the gym where we first met
sitting with friends in the far right corner
where our eyes met for the first time

walking in gym where we first kissed
and i screamed and ran away
because that was the first time i kissed someone

outside the gym at those tables
where you lifted me on top of you and kissed me

the seats all the way in the back of the auditorium
where i touched you for the first time

the bathrooms downstairs where you took advantage of me
and i'm scared to let anyone see that part of me now
your hands in private places
i never want to feel again because of you
and that's why it takes me so long to give that piece of me

the inside of the gym when the lights were off
where you pulled me in
and pushed me up against the wall
and then lowered me to the ground with you on top
that was the first time i was afraid

the courtyard where you would hold me every morning
and we would fall asleep in each other's arms

the cafeteria would we would talk to our friends every morning
and where i would stand against the wall
waiting for you to remember i existed again

the benches by the front office
where we would meet each morning and hold each other

the hallway downstairs where i ran away from you
after running from the bathroom where you hurt me

the library where you stared at that other girl
right in front of me and admitted it
and where we skipped many classes together

outside that one room where i cried
asking you if you were really breaking up with me

the windows at the front of the school
where you broke up with me and i cried
harder than i've ever cried before
and people were staring
but i was too sad to care

the parking lot where you would walk me to my bus
and you wouldn't even kiss me goodbye

the stairwell where you would pull me close
and kiss me, grabbing me until we heard someone coming

the doors that exit the school where you would wait for me
and i would throw your sweatshirt i was wearing at you

so many places, so many memories
sometimes i see a place where we made memories
and i stop and stare
and every time, i feel like crying
i just want to pretend you never existed
how do i delete all the memories?

i remember when i was little
i used to go to the public library all the time
in the kids' section
there were these 3 books full of scary stories
i swear i got them every time i went there
i loved them
even though it scared the **** of me as a little kid
i guess i was just getting myself ready
for the demons that would show up in my head

the distance is a weight on my shoulders i'm proud to carry
it takes great strength to survive like this
to be apart from the one you love
but still stay by their side

you know, i was depressed a few years ago
but i did it on purpose
convinced myself my life was bad
just to experience being incredibly sad
it was stupid because i started to believe it
and then i harmed myself
for no reason
but i guess it was a good thing
because now i can recognize the feelings
now im truly depressed
i can feel it washing over me
there's nothing i can do about it
i feel nothing
just have to push through it i guess