You looked so majestic sitting there
Delicate, divine, and bare
Vulnerable but I didn't care
How could I?

You, with your brown eyes and your short brown hair
Resting on a broken chair
Defeated but I didn't care
I had to lie

Over and over and over again to get you
Over and over and over again, I let you down
Over and over and you were over it, you'd even given up your crown

You should have known better when I said that I'd be there for you
You should have known better than to believe when I said that I would help you through
I'll tell you that I'm sorry but by now you should know the truth
Helping someone other than myself is something [that] I just can't do

I saw my chance and I acted fast
Things this pure (you see) they never last
At least they never have in my past
I bled you dry

I didn't want you to leave the shadow I cast
With your love so deep and your heart so vast
You'd be happier in a light you could bask
That's why

Over and over and over again I hurt you
Over and over and over again to keep you down
Over and over and you were over it, you couldn't even reach your crown

You should have known better when I said that I'd be there for you
You should have known better than to believe when I said that I'd be there for you
I'll tell you that I'm sorry but by now you should know the truth
Helping someone other than myself is something [that] I just can't do

I can't be good to you

I was scared
And
I was scared straight

I was torn
And
I was a tornado

I was the pain
And
I was the painter

I was ******
And
I was ****** right

I was just
And
I was just enough

I was dependent
And
I was dependent on nothing

I was true*
And
I was truly ashamed

I was used
And
I was used to it

I toed the ocean’s green.

It took me to his face,

a match in colors,

his eyes and this water

both hypnotizing,

like a moth to a flame.

But the sand was coarse

unlike his smoothness,

coat after creamy coat of membrane thin

porous loveliness, to let him live and breathe.

It looked unreal -

him a doll,  and this sea

a painting -

‘twas all too much beauty

to encompass in one place,

one body.

That’s where balance storms in,

for the water she roars

she shouts and she tugs.

His eyes tug too, at my heart.

With matching habits

they pull and smash me

then carry me out till someone

cares to find me.

There is a bird on my window sill

So indecisive, sitting still

She could have been up on that tree

Instead, she came and talked to me

“Oh pretty girl you know things well

So tell me which one would be swell

To sing for a crowd that isn’t there

Or to die for a crowd that doesn’t care?”

I didn’t know quite what to say

And so the bird, she flew away

I trudged on
Showing up with heavy eyes
Arms lifelessly swaying with my gait
Going through the motions

Then I got my fix
And like all of us creatures of habit
I formed  a routine around this upper
Making it necessary

Like morning tea
Or perhaps coffee is your hot beverage of choice
You invigorated me
And now I can face anything unabashed

I gave you a place to rest your head
I let you
Share my sheets
And in return
I found
All my secrets roaming the streets

I know just what you are
I met you when I first touched a flame

You're a bump in the road,
a chapter of a novel,
a map to treasure;

You are a lesson I have to learn
You are the path I have to take

What's it they always say?
Regardless of the pain
"It's for the better"

-

A Lesson by Ines Rose is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Blood on the ground
I need to rebound

Blood I remember
Frozen in December

Blood on the street
Don't let this repeat

Blood on my knee
I miss the old me

Blood has gone dry
There's no need to cry

Blood has turned blue
Reborn, I'm brand new

-

Making Mistakes by Ines Rose is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Before,
I knew how to speak in Spanish
Then, before I knew it,
I almost forgot

Before,
I knew how to give you my love
Then, before I knew it,
That knowledge was lost

Before,
I knew how to laugh at the jokes
Then, before I knew it,
The joke was on me

[2019 edit:
Before,
I knew what the world was about
Then, before I knew it,
It wasn't so easy]

Who are you
To assume
That you are capable
Of escaping
The inescapable?
Mother's white-washed
Nourishment, propaganda teet
A taste
Acquired early,
Now it's all you can eat.
Nestled in protagonism,
Coddled by media,
Limited brains were
Your encyclopedia.
College wakes you
"Even my Mother is blind"
and you wonder how it was you lost your mind?

I called on the wind
Maman would have had a fit
I called for the wind by name.

I asked her today
Please sing my song to the world
and just like my hair she curled

Noisy spirals, like
lunar periods tidal.
The wind spoke in mania

She's shouting, howling.
A drunk Father passing through
A scared Mother beating you

Momentarily
Wind made me god, and I was
bigger than I ever knew

I am powerful
and destructive, tormented
still by being invented

Then manifested
in earthly form as human
ever striving for balance

When inside of me
Equity had been replaced
Now anger stood in its place

Personified, I'm
Refocusing my compass.
But to where do I set course,

What is my purpose?
Concerned with Identity
To seek out Serenity