we had our love for 12 hours and nobody knew
it was the way we just were, you and i
you sang to me your favourite lullaby
and i swear i hadn’t slept that good in years
years that i spent without you, surely
and you knew this as you held my hair in your hands

we had our love for 12 hours and you knew **** well
i loved you so, darling
for years but it felt like a lifetime of loving
and i would wear your sweater around the house
bigger the better because you knew how i loved to feel small
and in your arms i did

we had our love for 12 hours but it was enough
to let you know i was no longer wanted by you
only infatuated by the idea of us
spending our summer days together
like we previously did
dreaming about the house we’d buy
with the wrap around porch
along the shore of somewhere that wasn’t here
as long as it was anywhere
but here

we had our love for 12 hours and nobody knew
that the love i had for you in those 12 hours
was more than the love i had had for you
in the years we’ve spent together
under the covers with heavy breath
and delicate fingers
tracing along all the parts of my body
that you had come to learn so well
like second nature it was when we were reunited
after all that time
it was like your body had not forgotten mine

when our 12 hours were over
and for the first time since that wretched day in january
when i ripped your heart out
you got to rip mine
except this time
it happened over and over and over again
as i thought about our last moments together
and about our last and final kiss goodbye
it was as if i knew deep down in my heart
i would never get another one

it has been 12 hours since i last loved you
and i have finally decided that from now on
you are out of my life forever
but those 12 hours
those 12 hours will always be ours
and i have no shame in rejoicing in them.

i watched as your mother
screamed at you for
being unable to choose between
berries or sweets
berated you for your pickiness
and demanded your love
after giving you a treat
you never asked for
i hope young girl
you grow up to be
as indecisive as me
because who says you can’t have both?
who says it’s anyone else’s decision
but yours?
besides
who compares chocolate to vanilla
anyways

when you need him
he will be there for you
in spirit and in your heart
for a father’s love could never fade
no matter how long he’s been gone
and in moments when you’ve forgotten
what it feels like to have him near
he will remind you in ways
unimaginable
in the little things like flowers and birds
the clouds or the rain
and you will know
your father’s love will forever remain
untouched and by your side
tell him you love him
even if you think no one’s listening
he will tell you he loves you more
through the wind in the trees
listen closely for it
and he will listen closely for you
forever and always

I’ve fallen in love with a girl today,
All over the place but put together.
She wears her clothing like no other,
A different girl every week.

These stories of her remain in my journal,
All battered and torn from pages worn,
Where her lipstick print stays bright and outlined,
I trace the lines I’ve written of her.

She’d smoke cigarettes on her roof in her free time,
And listen to her indie music in the car alone.
Not a soul to know where she was going,
Or where she found that music within her.

Although surprised, she fell in love,
With the same name she once hated,
All she could do was embrace the nature,
Of her new found joy.

Drinks, she had many,
Upon many gatherings and parties,
But at the end of the day,
She was still the dancer she always dreamed she would be.

She’d stream her memories on her blank wall,
With the projector she kept in the back of her closet,
And the film she’d keep in her heart forever,
Almost too long, actually.

But each day she’d print new ones,
With her minolta she held dearly,
By the beach taking the same photo,
But each with a different meaning.

She was the type to wander the stars at night,
Under a tree in her hammock,
Fiddling with her favourite ring,
The one that shined no matter the light.

These stories and dreams are in print forever,
Written in secret with words so clever.
One day I know I’ll look in the mirror,
And I’ll see that girl again.

My thoughts were a mess in my old letter,
And you probably agree.
So here’s another one that’s better,
that hopefully you’ll read.

All I want for you dear,
is to be happy.
Maybe that’s a lot to ask,
Or maybe you want more than that.
But leave our hardships in the past,
And move on with the memories.

I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t hurt,
To see you happy without me.
But I know one day we’ll speak again,
So don’t you worry.
Like the true friend I always was,
I’ll be here waiting.

I’m angry too. Did you know that?
It may not make much sense,
But you chose to push me when I was down
And left our nature tense.
How could you be so cruel to a cry for help
From someone you once loved so dearly?

I’ve said I’m sorry all too much,
And I won’t say it again.
You know how sorry I am,
All I wanted was a friend.

So friends we shall be,
In the near future, hopefully.
But most of all, what I wish for you,
Is a period of healing,
That is the best gift that someone could receive.

A year ago today,
I would’ve cried at the thought,
Of us parting ways,
A feeling never sought.

But I look back at those photos of you and I,
And I know it’s over this time,
Because I no longer feel the way I used to,
It almost feels like a crime.

To let go of one so close to your heart,
And to let your love stray,
Who would’ve thought it would end like this,
A year ago today.

I think the world is angry today,
Maybe at me, perhaps.
I might have stepped on the crack in the sidewalk,
I think the whole road collapsed.

Was it the way I scoffed at the wind,
When it blew my hair in my face?
Or maybe it was that time when I
Ran through the grass without grace.

I don't wish upon the stars at night,
I'm used to losing count.
The rain soaked through my clothes today,
What the hell was that about?

The brightest star was not bright enough,
And the air was left too frigid.
The trees could only sprout lousy buds,
That covered all the bridges.

How could the world be so cruel today,
Nothing worth a second glance.
Maybe the world would look much different,
If I gave the world a chance.

i dreamt of you and i last night
in a time that hasn’t come quite yet
in the warmth and bright of June’s light
creating memories we could never forget

dont you wanna be my baby
don’t you wanna swim in the blonde of the summer
ice cool and your eyes blue, stunning
like a perfect visit to the rainy days, ******

carry me painlessly to the docks
and you’d ask me to strum my guitar a lot
the songs i’d use to put you to sleep
on the nights that we’d pray that we wouldn’t get caught

but it was summer anyway
the birds chirping took our breaths away
your curves so neat under the moon
my skin glistening like bubbles to champagne

the colour red contrasting to the season
you whispered always looks the best on you darling
tanned deep like all the girls you’ve ever loved
and drinking cold coffee, eyes sparkling

one day by the rivers edge, i know
those words will roll off your tongue
bring on our golden days ahead
alive, in love, and young

It’s by far the funniest thing you’ve said,
Don’t you think?
I hate to admit, but I have to agree,
Your advice may be true - don’t date a writer.

I hope you’ve learned your lesson, love.
We fight, we cry, we push, we shove,
Cause good writers know words left unspoken,
Are the true cause of all bonds left broken.

A good writer knows she needs to be loud,
For people like you who walk so proud,
Our words can hit so close to home,
So you burn them with your lighter of chrome.

Don’t think for a second I’m not so smart,
You underestimate the power of art,
And the meaning that all my words can carry,
Don’t think for a second my words were merry.

I’m a good writer, you see,
Your yelling and anger are no match for me,
And I know my thoughts are too hard to bare,
So it’s easier for you to laugh and glare.

But haven’t you given a second thought?
To the girl who stands so prideful and taut,
That maybe, just maybe, her words have meaning,
And she’s trying to convey them without any screaming.

No, that would be too hard for you,
Too immature to handle truth,
So you pick and choose what you want to hear,
Oh how ******* stupid of you, dear.

I don’t really think you get it.
Enough with this poetic *******,
I’ve said what I’ve said and I don’t regret it,
You can blame me all you want for your mistakes, I get it,
But don’t think for a second that I don’t understand.

That’s another great quality - of a good writer, anyways,
That they’re sympathetic in the way they explain,
Their feelings and hardships to others in pain,
Because they’ve been through it before, both the struggle, and the strain.

I hope my words hit you hard this time,
Harder than ever before.
It’s what you deserve after all I’ve been through,
Trying to end this war.


You could’ve made is easy, you know?
How hard would it have been,
To put your anger towards me aside,
And instead, look within.

Look at who you have become.
Are you proud?
I already know the answer to that one,
Just take a look around.

While you were so busy wrapped up in your mind,
You didn’t realize that you never made time,
To those who had something real to say,
Something that was anything other than ‘hey’.

And that mistake was made by you,
Not a choice you could misconstrue,
So don’t come up to me out of the blue,
Because now I can say I am someone new.

Isn’t it painful, to have dated a writer?
Our words burn passionately like fire,
Coming to light in situations so dire,
You’ve hit rock bottom, and I walk the wire.

It’s time I end now, so I leave you with this.
Before you give that girl a kiss,
Make sure her notebook and smile is brighter,
Or else you’ll end up dating a writer.

Skin and bone with sunken eyes,
The most beautiful I've ever seen
a girl like you to be.
Impossible, maybe, but for you
it is effortless,
In the way you seem to live your life.

Ashes cover your nails
That you've always done up so well,
Even when they've locked you in the jail cell
That you're all too familiar with.
I'd pay to meet the men who've hurt you.
To know the life you've lived.

To use my voice to tell the world,
"She's not who you think she is!"
You put on quite the show, I've got to say
For those who don't bother to give a second glance
At the girl who drinks her life away.

How are you so happy, young girl,
The one you say no one wanted,
The one that the kids taunted
For hiking up your skirt to the gentlemen
Who were willing to give you a pretty penny?

Look at your skin, bruised and battered,
That you love to show off to the world.
And to smile into the eyes of the lover
Who used you so blatantly,
Is the greatest form of control I've ever seen
In a life that is run by chaos.

Judgmental they are, I tell you
But I see your strength in you
And a little bit of crazy too.
But don't we all go a little mad once in a while?
I'd be a liar to say I'm not intrigued
In the journey you've taken to get here,
And the story that waits to be written.

Wear your name proud,
You will never be forgotten.

Sat alone, quiet as can be
I wonder how foolish it was of me
to let go of a love so simple and free
all in the name of self discovery

My heart screams out
Aching and tender
Crossing my arms so heavy and slender
Crying so loud from my souls centre
I curse myself
How foolish of me

To take for granted a love so rare
That a girl or a boy could not repair
Because all I want is him standing there
So we could be our perfect pair

But others don’t seem to get it, you see
He was a worthless love, too careless for me
All from the eyes below the sea
They could never know how in love we were
Or were we?

Those questions consume my thoughts and dreams,
Every night, so hopeless it seems
That my love could return, with his smile that beams
Oh how ******* foolish of me.

Did you know every love song reminds me of you now?
Every time I look out to the water,
I see you staring back in the reflection,
With that smile I can’t believe is for me.

I feel your hands around my waist,
Like that first night over and over again.
And in my head it’s so unreal,
For you to have chosen me,
Over all the other girls who swoon for you.

I like you more than you like me,
But that’s to be expected with a heart like mine.
“Please be careful,” I whispered to myself
As I stared at your golden face,
Illuminated by the sun setting over the train tracks,
“I won’t be able to let this one go.”

Don’t lie to me my love,
Don’t tell me what I want to hear.
I want you for you and all your honesty ,
No matter how sweet or brutal,
And I promise I’ll be the same.

Please, don't lie to me.
Please, let this be real.

Open your eyes and take a look
Write those numbers in your little book
Make sure to keep them low today
And the pain in your stomach will go away

Swallow some pills and you'll be fine
In just a few weeks they'll see you shine
And light as a feather you'll prance around
This time your feet won't make a sound

Slip yourself into your tight black dress
Your best friend says you should give it a rest
Listen to me, no time to waste
So smack a smile on that pretty face

Don't whisper a single sound to him
He'll see your inner light has dimmed
The dumb girl with thighs that always chafe
Will be no match to your skinny waist

Take one step, and another and another
Until your book sees a lower number
Get used to looking at your reflection
If you want to earn your loves affection.

It’s easy for you to fake a smile,
While you lie through your teeth,
Do you lie to hide your tears at night,
The kind that makes it hard to breathe?

Trying to fool no other than yourself,
I’ve taken a hit to your mental health,
Does lying make you feel like more of a man?
Make you feel like you’re better than where you began?

Take a look in my eyes and tell me this,
A year gone by won’t compare to a kiss?
You loved her more than you loved me,
Only in your world could you believe.

A puff of smoke won’t make it better,
I warned you about it in my letter,
The road you’re headed is best left untouched,
Eventually you’ll be forced to confront.

Lie to me some more, why don’t you,
It’s become a lullaby to me,
And when I lay my head to sleep,
I’m reminded how lucky I am to be free.

You’ve got no idea how the others sit and stare,
They tell me you don’t even begin to compare,
To the love I have surrounding me,
They tell me how angry you must be.

You’ve won, You’ve won, You’ve won
Is that what you wanted to hear?
If you’ve got more lies to tell me love,
I’m here to lend you an ear.

The drug addict screaming on the metro.
2. The little girl throwing a tantrum inside of a Starbucks.
3. My manager, who was definitely way too passive
    aggressive when I called in sick.
4. The fancy business man who held the door open for me,
    who I’m definitely getting married to next week.
5. That one lady walking her dog who continued walking
    when I went to go pet it instead of stopping.
6. Michael.
7. My teacher from fourth grade who yelled at me for wearing
    my sunglasses indoors.
8. The guy who’s heart I’m about to break.
9. The girl who I’m starting to fall in love with.
10. Whoever the **** else falls in between the two of them.

Look in the mirror and halt your tears,
So young and full of life.
He will not be your only love,
Get rid of that pain and strife.

Open your eyes and look around,
Young girl you’ll soon find,
You’re surrounded by friends, and love and light,
How could you be so blind?

These are the people who will lift you up,
Applaud when the moment is right.
You’ve got all the love you’ll ever need,
Your future is only bright.

Are my dreams premonitions?
Or are they the bed time stories
I’ve created from fiction?
Maybe I’ve learned to fall asleep
to the comfort of the idea of you.

Truly and honestly,
My stories bring us closer,
Because in these tales
We’ve never hurt each other,
And forgiveness came easy
to the both of us.

Please let the pain end.
Have I not suffered enough
Under the power your touch once had on me?
Faded but still ruling like a king?
Scarred into my skin forever,
As my daily reminder?

I want to have faith in the world,
That what’s meant to be will be,
And one day my stories will be brought to life
In true motion picture format,
Tactile for us to touch,
But very unrealistic.

Don’t tell me I have to forgive you now.
My pride could never handle it.
To look into your eyes again,
And say the words you don’t ever deserve to hear.
Not from my lips to yours,
Not from my heart to your bones.

Rid me of these thoughts impure
Of *** and ****** and you,
And of all the sleepless nights we spent together
hand in hand like I had always hoped,
And like I continue to hope and dream
about.

How are you still on my mind?
Knowing full well that you don’t deserve
A place in my thoughts,
Not even a single second.
How does your memory remain so fresh?
I haven’t seen you around lately.

Do I want to talk to you?
Or the you I once knew?
Does it really matter though?
No matter the man I end up seeing,
Each and every time
I will always remember you the same.

Are my dreams premonitions?
Wishful thinking or a prophecy?
And whatever is about to happen
Will be both good and bad.
Just like the anger will carry over,
So will the love.

Tell me I’m right.
God tell me I’ve got it all right.
Let the world work in my favour for once,
Let the universe do what it was made to do,
And let fate create what was made to be.
Surely it cant end like this for us.

a bitter taste with
comforting warmth that surely
cannot replace you

She’s got something special,
Those words would ring,
In the back of my mind,
What a change she’ll bring.

To this world so miserable,
She’ll persevere.
With her drive and passion,
She lacks any fear.

Although this girl confused,
She smiles and nods.
Happy with her thoughts,
But she finds it kind of odd.

Something special, you say?
Are you talking about me?
In my heart, I know
My future bigger than the sea

It’s not a talent,
Nor a gift, or chance
It’s my thoughts gave me,
The idea to dance.

To leap about
This world so broken,
Only new eyes could bring,
A new world, awoken.

We can argue day and night
Over the colour you claim to know so well
And you look so silly over the phone with me
Trying to defend your case

The truth is
No matter a deep chestnut
Or a strawberry blonde
It will always be my favourite colour

I’ll have to look in your eyes again,
as you will mine.
I will yell as loud as I deserve.
I will let my rage take over,
And I will get the satisfaction of
Rejecting you one last time,
With every word being a
Sweet release.

Is there a word for that moment you know it's finally over?
The weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders,
And although you suffer, you know you'll be okay,
Because for the first time in a long time,
You feel like yourself again.
Is there a word for that?
I wish there was.

I would have said it when we exchanged words,
Through screams for the whole world to hear,
Wondering, their eyes on us,
That as sad as I may be,
It was still happier than you ever made me.

Still, I hope and pray,
I wish upon the stars at night,
That one day you'll return, as sweet as ever,
So I never have to use that word,
Not in front of you.

I came across a terrible road,
Too damaged for one to walk.
I watched the leaves as the wind blowed,
And suddenly came to a stop.

Within the crack of the crumbling rock,
A single flower now grew.
Who knew that healing would come so quick,
If that healing was coming from you?