I am holding your hands
Holding to warmth
Smiling so hard
Yearning for more

What is this
Inside of me
Feeling so happy
Feeling too happy

Scared of losing
My one and only
oh, how i wish i know
The answer to my questions
Are simple as stories are told

A fairy tale
With happy endings
oh, fairy godmother
Can you grant me
That one simple wish ?

Because in any set of truth
i just wanna break away from the city.
Let lose my mouth and tell the world or people, its ugly.
or maybe i am.

He knows sweet and sour words
To lure the wondering souls
The voice as loud and clear
Yet rather be thrown

With nothing but a waving hand
he passed the soul to the bridge
Saying his last farewell
was all he needed to finish

Yet living the un-dead
whimpering and crying
For that lost soul
was not meant to be dead.

If death is in a colour
Let it be white
As pure as snow
Showering down guiding light
Which gives the lost souls a path
To the end of eternity
and the hurt ones
A relief

Zero was where i met you
Just the hello and goodbyes was said
Walking pass like total strangers
where everything was dead

One was where i got to know you
Where  smiles and gestures
Movements was more genuine
but memories was not set

Two was when we talked
Talked endlessly and laughed
With a sudden flutter of  heart beats
i can't say less

Three was where i fell
Fell into that trap
Those smiles and laughters we shared
Had all caught me in the head

Everything happened
But this is all The End
Because i had to cheer for you
With a another women
In your hands

I'll always be behind
Cheering for you
Helping you
Making you smile


But promise me
Never to turn around
Because this dumb fool
Is crying and hurt

Just to stop her tears
Needs so much more
So please, don't turn around
She's just glad to see you smile

With nothing left to say
She take a bow
and left the stage
with no one around

Nobody told me
The fear of losing
For loving someone so hard
Was something so harsh

Deeply and undoubtedly
Smiling with tears
With hopes you look at me
Right into my eyes

Wounded and scared
I want your comfort
But you belong to her
To non of my presence

I've should known better
Not to play with fire.
It burns, hurt and scars
So why am i addicted ?

I fell for you
Deeply and silently
Slowly but surely
With nothing in return
Like a joker ever before
Laughed ever so hardly
To cover up what it never should be

For an instant
I woke up from reality
Which brought me back
To what it came about to be.

What we thought is forever
Is in fact never eternal
Turns out to be only
A beautiful dream

Woken up by the sound of voices
Of hopes and despair
I challenged myself
To crawl and to walk
But just to find myself tumbling
On those small fragments of rock.

As they queue in line
And await their feast
Some showed anxiety and hidden smile
With every passing time

For God knew when is their turn
To take a bite from beneath
They await for their moments
With hunger and with fits

It's finally their moment to drink
A toast of victory
So See you on the flip side
When my smile is complete.

For a single human being
To send herself to sky
She made sure she knew
How to make an aeroplane fly

For now she is a human
With things she have to learn
Ideas running round her head
Oh god , she have to learn

For she is still performing
Her never ending play
She have to strive with all
To fold that paper aeroplane

When i am around you
My time is frozen
I want to be near you
With hope to be poison

I am not crazy
For this is just me
I want to be poison
By your smile and carefree

I want to hear your voice
To be intoxicated  by your scent
My heart is pounding
And face blushing so red
I want to stare into those eyes
That feels my heart to brim

What is this feeling
Like diving into deep ocean
A new found love
So carefully hidden

Listen up little one
Times have change
For nothing is sweet or tasty
Where dreams are turn to haze
No one will love you
Many will judge
For one false move
I gurantee you
You will be charge
I'll love to save you
Teach you and guide
But you have to learn
From failure and nasty noise
For this is the cold hard truth
I can't explain why
So after you falter
And grow weak in your knees
I hope this poem
Would give you a hint of what life is
Do grow into a strong person
Deep deep inside
So if one day I meet you
I'll know for sure
You've grown into a cold blooded person
And nothing more.

Oh grudges how much I hate you
Ruining people's live
Is that so fun to you ?
Oh bummers

Oh grudges, can we stop this game ?
You're hurting me and my friend
With wound and scars that is never healed
Why Imprint everyone's mind with hatred and guilt?

Oh grudges, why are you so wicked?
Stop playing with my heart
Like a toy, it breaks
Stop hiding and go away.

I do not need you in my life
For as long as I live
I just want peace and quiet
Is that just so hard to give ?

I was lost
Missing in the act
I try to be someone
who i can never be, in fact

Changing myself to someone's liking
Walking on shards
I panicked and can't breathe
when will it end, i wish to know.

I quiver in fear
and all alone
Losing my voice
To which i saw a glimpse of light

She guide me to my once forgotten self
"you're not design to everyone's liking"
Is what she said to me
Just be yourself is all you need

So inconclusive to this poem
I do not wish to make another personality
To which suits the other persons taste?
That is just not me.

Some people might mind
Some people might not
But all you have to remember
Is this poem to yourself.

Forget about these negativity
Forget about these problems
Opinions will be throwing itself in your way
A life problem is never ending
So stop wasting time and think about it

Treat yourself fairly , BE YOURSELF.
Remember this poem
Remember this faith
Just think of the present and the future
Which will dictate.

From ally to foe
How did we become this way ?
From friendship to disasters
That is all I can say

I dislike you
With a hint of hate
What do I smell?
A foul smell of fake

But even though I hate
There is a part of me sad
I want to tell you so bad
That you're still my friend

I might dislike you
I might be cold
I just want to clear up
Those misty fogs that blocks all

I can't see clearly
Where my paths leads
Just want a friend
Who understands me.

Remember the boy who cried wolf ?
Remember how many lies must he tell?
Remember the times he cried
And finally, when he did tell the truth
No one heard him

Layers of lies to cover
Layer of lies to hide
But finally as it seems
I can't find a time i don't lie

As the truth unravels
One by one
I hid myself
To seek help
To seek myself  

I can't face you nor him
I can't face God nor humans
So I plead in darkness
Pleading to vain
Pleading to sanity

All for that one last cry for help.

Assumption such a devil you are
Killing one soul and heart
Inching into ones vains
Seeping through ones blood

The words sticks like a glue
Bonded to ones pride and sorrow
So why assumption
Make such an accusation

Please don't play with me
Don't trample me
Don't crush me
And just stop hurting the poor old me.

What fine lady you are
My oh my
Such slender and curve
The wolf would like to kiss it tonight.

Wolf howl and peek
At the wonderful lady
Who shall fall victim tonight
What can the innocence do
But to run for her life ?

Mr wolf Mr wolf can you spare her life ?
All she hopes for is just a peaceful night.

On the final day
She took one last shot
Under the cold night sky
Hoping to hear his voice

With tears running down her face
And a last prayer to him was said
With her hesitant touch
And a final kiss good bye
She looked at the picture
With her weary eyes

The lady packed her memories
She closes the doors
Leaving the empty house
Leaving it for good.

With a blank canvas
I start my life
With nothing holding me back
I paint my life

I yearn for this canvas
For it dictates my colours
Be it rainbow or mono
I am counting the moments

With a fresh start
I rewrite my story
From dull to light
I await for this chance

So come with me on a journey
With fun and excitement
With sorrow and pain
I shall walk my way through
All for that one minute of fame.

Through the rough and tiring road
Never have I regret
My decision of next phase of life
Changes was meant

Standing infront of the people
Who constantly made me laugh
I showed tears of joy and cried in their arms

So Thank you for the moments
I will not forget
This is not my last thank you or goodbye
It's just a way to show you guys
I care.

As I sink in desperation
Trying to steal a breathe
I close my eyes
Counting one to ten

I imagine you right next to me  
Never once have I felt this way
The need for someone to hold me now
Till now I can't comprehend

I am nervous and flustered
To you and only you
I hope you will soon realise
The agent of fortune i see in you.

I am just a normal girl
who hopes to be your muse
So would you look into my eyes
And turn me into your one and only jewel ?

Liar liar pants on fire
the nursery rhyme , We used to say
White lie black lie
Colours of different degree

Is it for the good or is it for the bad ?
Are you a pretty liar ?
Are you a ugly liar?  
Simply no one can vow for that.

Truth be told
we are protective
Either for pride or love
For that one person to not tell a lie
Is simply never told.

Like a joker I looked
Being laughed and teased
No retaliation or rejections

Being a clown is what I'm good at
but deep down
This clown, mind.

Hickory dickory dock
I ran with might to the top
I pushed the hands, back in place
Just for an hour more to save

I hope my life
Won't end in vain
With actions, I regret
With speech, I take back
All with that one hour I saved

So when the clock strike 12
And dreams come to an end
I wish for the better
Next day.

Closing my eyes
I whisper
I tried to be mature
But I just tremble

Should this facade, be hidden or shown?

Should I just put on a smile and move along ?

Which is easier, I don't know.

I just questioned myself over and over
Till finally
I fall into deep slumber.