Buy me ripped skinny jeans
And feed me LSD
Maybe then I'll be happy

Earlier this night I traveled down memory lane
Please call my friend Mary Jane
She'll help me forget

I'm in this ****** life I know I'll never win
Unless I get my veins full of heroine  

I don't even know how to keep myself sane
Without a hit of *******

All I ever wanted was to leave behind a legacy
But the thing is I no longer feel the ecstasy
That's supposed to be lingering in my ways

I'm in no position to pretend that I'm holy
Especially when I'm always seen
With my good friend Molly

Cause who am I to avoid all this
I'm just a sad lonely teen
Feeling psychedelic

You were my little hometown,
somewhere I could stay forever,
somewhere I could grow old in,
somewhere I was content.

I was your little hometown,
somewhere you grew up in,
but wanted to leave in the long run,
somewhere you were never content.

We used to sit by the pond,
and talk about the future,
I talked about ours
but you talked about yours.

We lie under the stars,
realizing how minute we were,
I got lost within the galaxy in your eyes,
while you never took notice of mine.

If I told you that I loved you,
(which I never did)
I know it’d never cross your mind,
to tell me you loved me back
(because you never did)

In your eyes, I was just your little hometown
Stranded in the middle of nowhere,
Somewhere you’ll never reach far.
In me, you thought you’d never make it anywhere.
So just like every protagonist in every story ever told,
you ditched your little hometown.

You are the center of my poetical universe.
You are the sun that my pieces revolve around.

I was the one who loved you from the start,
The only one who ever appreciated
The kind of man you are.

I never got to know your heart,
I never got to see your soul,
I never know what's going on in your mind.
I know your name, I know how you look like,
But I don't really know who you are.

Which is why I'd sound stupid if I ever said
I  love  you
I don't know why, but I do.

You are the center of my world,
The only thing that my mind revolves around
When I'm bored out of my mind during class.

You're all these things to me,
But I bet you'd never even given me
A second of thought during the day.

But there's that seedling of hope,
Deep within me,
Not asking for much,
Just at least think of me.

i know now that you're long gone
from the tight grasp we once held each other in

we were kids. i get that.
young and naive, gullible as to what our friends say.
with a distorted image of love
because of the movies we see on the screen

the first time we whispered our i  love  yous
it was awkward until our giggles filled up the air
and that's when i knew i spoke the truth

when you left me alone, you never said good bye
you were literally just gone
you left my heart in a distinct contortion
and that's when i felt such desperation

To the first boy I've ever loved,
When you come across this poem,
Don't hesitate, you know **** well that it's about you.
Cause the only thing you've taught me is
Forever isn't true.

We're only two of infinite stars.

Burning with desire,
Lusting after passion.

Caressing in the dark,
we were never a walk in the park.

Hidden and burdened,
a love that is forbidden.

No use in wishing on 11:11's,
flick away those fallen eyelashes.

A love made of tragedy,
imprinted on the stars.
Desire and passion,
ready to start a war.

Two of infinite stars,
part of different constellations,
a love, if that's what this is,
ending in entire damnation.

We're only two of infinite stars.
What made us think
we were meant to be from the start?

We're only two of infinite stars,
existing in a universe that's bound to keep us apart.

I lost a part of myself
The day you walked away from me.
The part that loved,
The part that felt.

I used to love the bay where we watched the sunset,
now it's polluted with
sickly sweet people with their hands intertwined
with people they think they love.

We used to listen to John Mayer on the stereo
every night before we sleep,
I traced endless patterns on you bare chest,
your fingers tangled in my messy curls,
now I hate his songs because they remind of you,
so and so that they make me cry.

You used to take me to long drives
in midnight,
now you made me an insomniac who
wants nothing to do with the midnight
because it's when memories of you haunt me.

You took from me
A part I'm never getting back,
A part that took more than half of my being.
Because now I realized,
once you were gone,
I was also gone.

Dear Diary,
Today I met a boy
One that won't break
My heart like a toy
He had shiny bright eyes
And his lips
Don't tell lies
He has a way with words
And his touching is comfort
He offered me friendship
Really the best kind of relationship
Gosh oh gosh
I hope today and again
Tomorrow and a day
That I'd see again this boy
That fills my heart with joy

There's so much of you
I want to see
There's so much of you
I want to hear
There's so much of you
I want to feel
There's so much of you
I want to know

I want to delve in deeper
Into your mind
I'd like to hear the nothings you whisper
You murmur when you're about to go to bed
I'd love to get to know the soul
That's perfect inside
I'd like to wake up next to you each morning
And hear you snore lightly

There's so much of you
I want to  *love

i. Cut your heart open
Take a knife, twist your heart open. Watch as everything you have bottled up
spill on the floor. Break it into pieces and trample on the glasses. Listen to
what it’s trying to tell you. Uncover every hidden desire and side-swept secrets.
For once in a long time, be honest with yourself. You’ve spent so much time
locking everyone out. You’ve even kept your own identity from yourself. This is
how you start writing a poem: Cut your heart open, be honest with yourself.

ii. Give yourself the freedom to feel
Face yourself. Touch your reflection if that’s what makes you real. Remind
yourself of your inner core and get rid of your inability to feel. For so long
you’ve masked the pain, ignored the numbness and forgot about the rain.
Feel the anger running in your veins because of all the time you’ve wasted
on someone who never deserved your love. Let a river’s load of tears gush
out your eyes, feel the despair of how you have loved but lost. Feel the loathe
you have for yourself because you’re so pathetic; because no matter what
you’d do anything to have him back. Clutch your chest as you feel the
physical ache in your heart because it’s broke and distorted in a way
it’s never been before. This is how you make a poem great: Give
yourself the freedom to feel, share with the world your raw emotions.

iii. Take the bitterness and turn them into pretty words
Take a paper and pen. Translate the way you feel onto a clean sheet of paper.
This is the only time you’ll ever have a clean start again. Take all the words
you have at the back of your mind and write them down. Let the pain and the ache,
the anger and the hurt, make their way on the paper. Don’t think too much
about it, the words you have they’re all who you are. Tell the story you’ve
kept in for so long and let them glide from the pen through the paper. Write
all you think that is necessary. Don’t think about what people will say. Because
a poem is a poem, it’ll be bitter and pretty. That’s the glory in the poem, it’s
ambiguity. This is how you write a poem: You stay bitter yet it will come out
pretty. No matter the bitterness, you always have the ability to make it pretty.

Isn't always the teenage dream
It's when people tell you that it's ok to be you
Well, unless of course, if you're a part of the LGBTQ
It's when you get the overflowing sense of libido
And most of the time you feel inferior
Your parents are wrong, you feel like you hate them
You talk to people you call friends
Even though sometimes you want nothing to do with them
You think you're in love with this boy
But really it's lust
You break the rules
You're breaking loose
Because remember the time you were 8
And wanted to be a teenager?
Well, this isn't what you expected
Isn't it?

You don't get to choose 
The country you're born in 

You don't get to choose 
The parents you're born to 

You don't get to choose
The name you're given 

You don't get to choose 
The *** you're born with 

But then you get to choose 
The people you surround yourself with

You get to choose 
Your first crush
Your first love
Your first kiss

Then I wonder
With the very little things 
We all get to decide on 

Why do we choose 
The people who just waste all our firsts 

Why do we choose 
The people who hurt us?

Someday, someone's going to break your heart
The way you did with mine
Then finally, finally
You'd know how it feels like to be broken,

The kind of broken that's going to have you
Physically force yourself out of bed every morning
Just so you can make it to school on time.

The kind of broken where you can't stand
Listening to the endless loops of
Love songs playing on the radio.

The kind of broken that leaves you
In a daze at random moments during the day
That people have to snap their fingers
In front of your face just to get your attention.

The kind of broken where you physically
Feel your heart hurt even though
It's the hypothalamus, which is in the brain
that gives the feeling of love.

Someday you're going to have a taste of your own medicine.
That's when you'll finally understand
The anguish and agony you've brought to me.
That's when you'll understand
How everybody gets their great heartbreak.
That's when you'll see,
I wasn't over reacting.
That's when you'll feel,
What it's like to have your heart broken
To the point that you think
You're incapable of falling in love again.

if i died tonight
i'd understand why.
i'd understand why we met.
i met you
so that i wouldn't
forget you

and if i died tonight
i'm sure i wouldn't forget
how you talk before you think
maybe that's why your words
are always jumbled and wrong
how you have to lift up your shirt
just so you can scratch your back
how most of the time you try
to make me laugh
and i act like you're not funny at all

we were destined to meet
just so i wouldn't forget you
and how beautiful of a monster you are
at then end of the day
you'd still be the nostalgia
i want to happen in the future
you are still the pain
i want to feel

i hear my heartbeat
in my ears
that's when i know
that the tears come near

i find it hard to admit
that i am completely
and utterly infatuated with you

and i hate it
why? you ask
because we're almost like best friends
and that's the only way you'll ever see me

some girls are meant to be a girl friend
some girls are meant to be a best friend

& unfortunately
i'm the latter

You taste like love
As our swollen lips dance
Under the gleam of the moonlight

The sweetness of each kiss
The sweat sticking between our skins
The lust lingering in the air
But the love staying there

I've forgotten how to gasp
For the beauty I saw
It seemed so long ago
When I saw beauty like yours
Your dimpled smile
Plays across my mind
Like a song overplayed
On the mainstream radio
I muffle my screams of joy into my pillow
Because my god, oh my
A beauty like yours
Lingered in my mind for hours

My love for you was kerosene on fire
The fire that burnt daisies
And fulfilled my every desire

The walls of my heart,
they clench me in.
The voices in my head,
they tell me the worst things I've always read.
The words I hear,
they're the things that I always fear.
The dinner I ate,
I let them find their way back up.
The ink in my wrists,
I watch them flow from thin lines.
The fear I feel,
they make the monsters real.
The anxiety I feel,
it overwhelms me.
The things I feel,
they make me hate me.
they make me loathe me.
they **** me.

i kiss the tips of your calloused fingers
and it reminds me of the time
you used to silently serenade me
at midnight

i hug your bare chest
and i remember how i laid
down with you
my ears close to your heartbeat

i kiss your soft plump lips
and i taste the sweetness
that i've always loved
while you always took my breath away
even in between kisses

i look at our picture
and i look at you, i remember you
now just a figment of my memory
that i've learned to recreate
in these empty sheets
cold on your side of the bed
reminding me that you're
gone gone *gone

As I write you this poem
I know it'll never be read
But remember how I tried to fix you
From the hurricane state she left you
I picked out the shards of the broken glass
That she left in your heart
Once you thought you were fine
You then left me in a state of hurricane
I picked back up your broken shards
And pressed them gently into my heart
Pleading you to fix me
Why did you leave me

i killed flowers for you
(they died)
i killed daisies
(to be specific)
you told me you loved me
(you lied)
i saw you picking out roses
i thought they were for me
(i was ecstatic)
you gave them to someone else
(i died)

Rip my soul and wipe me clean,
let me know I'm not just another tragedy.
We push and pull, I know I'm a fool.
Fighting and scratching,
for a game I'll lose.
Hang me from a tree,
my feet dangling high above the ground,
be careful, I tell you, don't make a sound.  

Whispering in hushed tones,
they only ever talk to me when I'm alone.
You aren't worth it, they say.
I'm better of dead, I say.
Let the voices in my head, swallow me whole
Nothing's left of me, I'm trap in a deep hole.

No one ever cares, unless you're beauty
Or dead.
Take one step further,
an inch closer.
Falling from the cliff,
gravity didn't seem as heavy as it did.
I'm flying, flying.
Out of consciousness,
I'm dying.

Boy, I loved you so and so,
For so long I saw the blue in your eyes,
Every time I looked up in the skies
I never thought you could ever bring me this low.

We were mesmerized by each others beauty,
Days together lasted 'til infinity.
Your warmth filled me like coffee,
Little did I know, everything had an ending.

You were my dreams,
Slowly, gently, ripping at the seams.
Broken and tattered, love's on the floor,
Still wishing for you to come by every hour.

Teach me how to forget you,
The same way you made me love you.
As I count down the days I've been stuck in this hole,
I know you're on the other side of the world feeling whole.

Love me again, I beg you, please,
Show me how to be me again at least.
Take me for granted,
Do what you want with me.
After all,
You're the only one I've ever wanted.

I wake up in the middle of the night
Cold sweat covering my body

I stay too long in the shower
Because I cry

I try too hard to fit in and to be liked
Because I wouldn't want to sit alone during lunch

I try to be funny
So that people will notice me

I try to be smart
So my parents will be proud of me

I try to be sensible
So my siblings will look up to me

I try not to be so sad
So I don't feel the urge to pick on my skin
So I don't cut open my skin
So I don't see blood coming out of me

But I end up giving in anyways
Because I'm human

I end up being a shame
**Because I'm human

you've always been my favorite author
it's not that you're a great writer
or knew how to write poems
its that you are what all my poems are about
how could I think of beautiful things to say
and heartaches to endure
if it weren't for you?
you are the words that my ink forms into
you are the mascara running down my cheek
you've always been my favorite author
for you are what my life story is about
in the middle of the night

Isn't it sickening this life we live?

Every day someone dies of suicide,
Every day someone loses their mind,
Every day someone cries,
Every day someone looks for something they can't find.

At the end of the day
I have fallen for you
I used to be made up of broken pieces
I never thought someone like you
Would ever be able to mend it
But you did

At the crack of dawn
Thoughts of you were lingering my mind
My broken heart that used to be so blind
Now shown the light of how you
treasure me with love
Our conversation replays in my head
As I toss and turn finding my way into my own bed

As the sun has risen
And I have woken up
With memories of you still fresh in my mind
Did you wake up thinking of me too?
Did you fall asleep with our conversations replaying in your head too?
I hope you do because loving one actually makes it two

12 in the afternoon
And I'm still thinking of you
Truth is I haven't stopped thinking about you
Your songs fill my heart
Photographs of you playing a slide show in my mind

Late in the afternoon
I didn't know where to find you
Were you even present?
Are you thinking of me too?
The sky's getting darker
And I'm falling for you harder

It's evening
And I still don't know where to find you
All day I've been wanting to tell you I love you
But where are you
You're scaring me
I actually thought you loved me too

I lay in my bed
You're still the one who's in my head
I haven't heard from you
I don't think I ever will
Tears fall down my face
When I realize that this was all a race

Midnight has struck
And I realize that this race
Was to see who's going to fall harder and faster
As the other runs away faster
You're on your way to the finish line
While I'm still stuck in the quicksand of my love for you

It's the crack of dawn
I haven't slept for so long
I miss you
But I'm sure you don't miss me too
The birds are chirping
And I wish my heart was flying

Now's the time when people are usually awake
I am too as I realize
That you didn't really feel anything
There was never really any love
Except only you feeding me lies
And me accepting the illusion in my eyes