Not everything is as clear cut
As black and white
But my love for you is as obvious
As day and night

Loving you was like the ocean
I fell deeper every second
Engulfing waves crashing over me
Drowning me in the thought of you - of us
I looked up at the sky above me
Clouded by the fear that you’ll leave me
And after you made me face my fears, by leaving
The rain came down through my eyes
It poured for days, months
And it kept on raining
Oceans, the sky, the rain
They were all the same
They were all blue
And loving him was no different
Loving him was blue

My weakness lies within my heart,
it’s naive and craves romanticism.
And it’s willing to do anything
for even the slightest amount of affection.
When I give,
I will give until I am but a fragment of myself.
When I love,
I will love without thinking what I’ll get in return.
And so when I fell so deeply in love with you,
and you told me you didn’t feel the same,
it broke my heart.
My walls came crashing down around me,
and I found myself choking on the remnants of our broken love.
All I could was “Why?”,
but you left me with not so much as an answer.
My chest cavity grew weak,
and my heart sank into my stomach,
which should be filled with butterflies.
But instead there I lie -
cold and broken.
I’m desperate to be saved,
to have life breathed into me,
but the only one for me is you -
so say you love me too.

I tried so hard,
I gave it my best,
I gave you my all,
but now there’s simply nothing left.

You stole my kind and innocent heart,
then proceeded to tear it in two.
Now I’m falling apart,
and I have no idea what to do.

Segregated by decisions,
scorched by the fire.
Confused by the words you speak,
I’m tempted by this burning desire.

I’m trying my best to live in the present,
but my mind is fixated on the past.
Not knowing what I will lose,
not even knowing what will last.

Blinded by fear,
drowning in this sea of doubt.
Struggling to be set free,
Looking for an escape route.

Interconnected webs of string,
strategically woven and knotted,
and adorned with beautifully painted beads.
Some way, somehow,
this hand-crafted creation
is said to hold captive
all nightmares that had ever dawned on me.
What an immaculate thing
this could turn out to be,
if it were to play its part,
even when we are not asleep.
Because truth is,
the real demons that we have,
are not only those that appear in our nightmares,
but rather the ones we fight
day to day.

Lend me your hand,
drape your fingers over me and relax.
Trace the outline of my body,
barely coming into contact with my supple skin.
Use my skin as your ballroom floor,
as your fingers dance to a beautiful ballad.
Have me lingering onto the last touch,
and yearning for the next.
Glide over every inch of me,
bring forth goosebumps to my surface.
For if your fingertips were pens - and I, paper,
my entire body would be inked with your love.
Let not a single space on my skin go untouched,
don’t let any part of me fade and disappear.  
Cover me in your penmanship,
and make my existence permanent.

We could a learn thing
or two from nature
Darkness is truly reassuring
Look to the fall of night
For that is when all is brought to light

Watch how the winged
creature flutters
Forget all that you have read
Good things never last
That's why fireflies flash

The way you play your harp,
effortlessly weaving your fingers
through those nylon strings
is oh so captivating.

The firm hold you have on your instrument,
secure, yet light enough,
being careful not to break
the mahogany frames.

The heedful ears you have,
used to listen to the echoing sounds,
your harp makes in response to
even the slightest flick of your finger.

The beautifully composed melody,
brought forth by the
dissonance and resolution
of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever known.

Wherever did you get the practice?
*Perhaps it was from toying with my heart.

I can’t help but keep my hands off you.
You are the most beautiful being on this earth.
You are imperfectly perfect.
Every aspect of you -
your light brown, curly locks,
the rough stubble framing those gorgeously rose-toned lips,
that infectious laugh of yours,
those hypnotizing eyes that I could stare into for hours,
the taste of your supple lips…
So please excuse me for not being able to control myself around you.
I’m helplessly drawn to you.
There’s not a single second that passes,
when I don’t wish that -
I could trace your skin with my fingertips,
have your lips pressed against mine,
or to feel the warmth of your tight embrace.
And when I can’t,
I find myself staring at you,
adoringly admiring one of God’s most precious creations.

Standing over the porcelain sink,
I find a girl I don’t recognize anymore
staring back at me.
Her eyes are sunken and lifeless.
Her smile has long faded
and her once lively complexion
pale from the lack of sunlight.
I can’t stand to look at my broken self.
Hope and faith are my most elaborate forms of self harm.
With every new hope, I die a little more inside,
because I know that in the end of it all.
My light for life is slowly dissipating as
I am always being brought back to my best friend,
disappointment.

Loneliness and depression are like parasites,
adapting to their new host bodies
They will cling to anything that it can.
Something with an open wound,
someone weak in the flesh - susceptible.
For these are their preferred feasting grounds,
and I’m their favorite company.

You were the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen,
so calm, compassionate, and loving;
there was just something about you that made me feel so serene,
you gave a reason for living.

Every move you made,
every word that rolled off your tongue,
words that never made me afraid,
but moved me and had me strung.

With every thing we did,
you always took me higher,
we kept nothing hid,
especially our burning desire.

I always keep your photograph with me,
as a friendly, hopeful reminder,
of what you used to be,
when your love was so much kinder.

There’s nothing worse,
than looking in your eyes,
god it hurts,
knowing that the old you died.

Having you on my side in life,
I felt like I had already won,
but now I’m caught in this strife,
and the fire’s gone.

Looking into your eyes,
I could see that they lost their light,
I told myself that it was a lie,
as if that would make anything alright.

I’m holding onto this photo,
because it’s all I have left,
of the one who made my insides glow,
and my senses deaf.

So this photograph of yours,
I hold it close to my heart and pray,
that you’ll be like you were before,
because I don’t want us to drift away.

"Life is like photography
We develop from the negatives"

Sulfurous smell
Please seal your lips
Not a word you shall tell  
Nobody would heed your tip

Narrow mindedness,
Selective thinking
Has caused you blindness
Do us a favor - please stop speaking

My being craves a sun so vibrant
an unwinding summer
for my wilted heart anew
Heat that gives the air such humid kisses
leaving it stifling, sweet, and sticky
Rays of fiery gold
that pierce my cold, pale, and weathered skin
Rushes of warm air flowing over my body
heating me up
burning my skin
melting away my makeup
and carrying away the emotions
that I wear on my sleeve
My heart is eager
to be naive, carefree, and open
I long to be freed
to burst like an overripe plum
These walls I’ve built up
are ready to fall

I’m starting to believe
that falling in love is just a hoax.
It’s completely twisted,
and if you’ve ever been in love,
you’d know.
You find someone you fancy,
someone you can imagine being with
until the end of time.
And it’s in that moment,
that you fall - you fall in love.
You begin to give your all,
your love, attention,
your time, and affection.
But in this imperfect world,
nothing is equal,
and nothing stays the same.
You can fight it all you want,
but seasons will change -
regardless of how much you try to seize the day.
But being in love impairs you.
You become blind to things
that are as apparent as
the tears that stream down your face.
You tell yourself it’s okay,
you brush it aside.
And it’s in that moment that you fall.
You literally fall.
You crash to the ground,
and I swear to God all your bones break.
You’re completely shattered,
but you don’t notice
because you’ve got this beautiful boy
whispering in your ear,
and kissing your neck -
and nothing else matters.
You’re in the moment,
and all is well.
But then he leaves,
and you suddenly feel it.
You feel everything.
And then you’re hysterically crying
on some bench in the neighborhood,
because it’s the only place
that doesn’t taste like him.
But still, you carry on,
day after day,
in this crazy, unrelenting cycle,
that we humans call love.

The clock strikes midnight,
signaling us to lay our bones to rest.
As I head to my bed,
and he to his,
I want nothing more than to lay down beside him,
with his arms wrapped around the small of my waist,
and to sleep.
But miles of bustling roads separate us,
leaving us with nothing but the
emptiness between our sheets,
the stillness of the air casting down upon us,
and a sudden infatuation with the clock’s sluggish ticking,
counting down the seconds, minutes, and hours,
until we can be together again.
Nobody said this distance would be easy to endure,
but this one thing I know is for sure -
my never-ending love for you does come easily.
So close your eyes,
and rest your mind, my love,
and as will I.
The sun will surely rise,
giving life to a new, endowing day,
and this enkindled flame will never cease to exist,
because for a fire to flourish,
it needs space, oxygen,
not constant suffocation.
Distance will make us stronger, darling,
I promise you this.

Do you ever get lost in the moment?
Everything but your mind is completely still,
and everything seems to just pass you by.

Just sitting there,
with your mind fixated on one thing,
drowning everything else out but that singular thought.

Your feet are on the ground,
but you’ve never had your head float this high into the clouds.

Then all of a sudden you realize
just how far away you’ve gone.

You begin to see in slow motion,
drowning out all of the sounds.

You’re completed suspended in your own little world,
just waiting to come
d
o
w
n.

I’m curious,
So tell me.
Tell me how you do it.
I want to know how you can sit around,
While I’m falling apart.
Tell how you can look me in the eyes,
And choose to not care.
You think you know everything.
But this - this feeling I have,
You will never know.
If you want to know how I feel,
All you have to do is ask.
And I’ll tell you.
I’ll tell you that you were the first boy I ever loved.
You were the one who took my heart,
And locked it inside of yours.
You placed my fingers in between yours.
And in the end,
You took that heart and you shredded it to pieces.
You could have just ripped it in half.
Then it would be easier to put back together.
But instead,
You tore it,
Piece by piece you shredded it.
And nothing can fix it.
I am now just an empty void,
Afraid to love,
Because now there is only the fear of ruining
What I have tried so hard to build.
So tell me,
How can ignore what you’ve done to me?

Ends frayed,
We were unraveling.
Piece by piece,
Thread by thread,
We were becoming undone.

We never cut ties,
You just stopped.
But maybe that was because
Anything we ever had
Had already died.

You broke my heart and stole pieces from me
Secrets, my body, and even my memory.
Now it feels like there is a hole in my chest
this sick, sad feeling I can not put to rest.
I need to fill this void quick
perhaps this Little One will do the trick.

Why are weeds considered ugly plants?
They are but the most beautiful anomaly in this cruel and unfair world.
Despite the lack of water and necessary care,
they still manage to find a way through the tightest and inhospitable of cracks,
chasing the warm kiss of the sun,
and to be showered by the cleansing rain.
But when they do overcome their hardships,
greedy, unrelenting hands reach down,
and strip them from the earth,
pulling out their roots,
and throwing them away.
Then the place that they worked so hard to exist in,
is taken over by some eye-pleasing blossom.
Real beauty is not found in those that are given everything,
but rather in that of striving to simply be,
to overcome obstacles,
and rise above,
no matter the circumstance.
There is something beautiful about that fight and determination,
and nothing profound about a flower that is nourished with constant love and affection,
because they will only grow to be weak and fragile.