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Feb 13 · 63
Love Me Cold
Angel Feb 13
I’m thinking about the bigger picture
Does she love your mama?
Always kiss up on you? 
Make you know how to feel good?
Make you food. Talk real smooth?

Look at you
It’s been months & you already got someone in those sheets
do you have her acting like a freak?
Tellin me you still love me
Why you say you love me?

I’ll say it again

It’s my karma
You played me, you weren’t the first to love me cold, love me quick
Fingers through my hair just to walk away
Tellin me
“I still love you, I’m not over you”
“I got money now, let’s try again, I can make due”

Man was that blunt
You both had me shaking with frustration and confusion
What’s your damage?
What’s your conclusion?
I’m not gonna do anything drastic
I’m just fed up with these actions

Trying not to get lost in distractions
Angel Feb 12
First thing on the horizon
Yellow lights twinkle in the distance
Windshield wipers squeak as it wipes
snow from my windshield
Sparks playing lightly in the background
Head heavy
drown in the haze of my tears
Salty lips
Smooth melodies
Light strums
Give me some time
Feb 12 · 21
Every 7 Years
Angel Feb 12
Will you miss me when my soul has made it through the hills
When my breath has reached the valleys
Or my hands have touched the peaks of the mountains you so yearn for
Will you still search for that feeling
Like taking that first inhale in the forest
Will you find me?

No, you won’t

Because I know the way that thought burns, the way it does my own
I won’t see you in a few years
I won’t see you in 10
I’ll still feel you though
Like the moon to my back
With a shiver down my spine
I’ll keep you in my bones
For in another 2 years I’ll be my own again

Maybe then I’ll rid you from my heart
Feb 12 · 18
Burt’s Bee’s
Angel Feb 12
I wish I could forget about
the scent of coconut pear
But you’re engrained in my thoughts whenever I touch my lips
I wish I could forget about strolls we took on lukewarm days
Standing hip by hip

I wish I could rid you of my mind when I think about what it means to feel
or be in a dip
Or the way you spoke so passionately
Like it were the last thing to escape
from your mouth
I wish I could forget about
the way you drank guineas
like it were smoother than my heart of steel
Or how you couldn’t keep your bun from being wild like the way you always feel

I hate that I think about you every
other day if not every time I fall asleep
I hate that I can’t help but to think
of why sunflowers are my favourite
every time one passes me by
I hate that I didn’t kiss you when I
came to see you & told me I could stay, I just walked away
I hate that I know I’ll never have you
the same
That’s no bad thing

But I hate the most that it took me so long to find this wrenching feeling
because we made love feel folly
We were young
We had reason
I wish we both got to experience us thrive
I’m so proud of myself & lately
I don’t need much reason
I’m so much of the same & so much not
I’d like to meet again, get to know the knew plot

Maybe somewhere in the mountains
If not, we’ll meet again through the stars
I wish I could forget so many things
No words are worth the choking to try express what I miss of you,
so much
I’ll just say goodbye for now
Be content, that’s all.
My longest or second longest poem to date, too much?
Jan 27 · 413
Reap What I Sow
Angel Jan 27
Tell me this ain’t so
That I know happiness & not only woes
Reaper take me down
Warm me up
& rip out my heart
For its blackened state is no good
in this house
Jan 25 · 82
Moment Of Insight
Angel Jan 25
I need to get to know a feeling I’ve felt
for most of my lifetime
I need to get to know my solitary
My loneliness
But in a more intimate way
I know this
It’s like my life has been led up
until this point from tribulations that
Have swept me up
& it’s no longer opaque
It’s In arms way
I just need to stretch again
Jan 23 · 26
Tantalizing, I Am
Angel Jan 23
I wonder if you still think of me
I’d be the bigger fool to call you foolish
to still think of me
but I won’t ask that
I’ll just wonder if you fell in love with her

as fast as you did with me

Do you still fantasize about me
Or feel more confident with her
because of me
Or if you miss my touch,
Not the tough kind

The soft ones

& I wonder if you got over me as soon as you fell for her
Because she is alluring, no doubt
But to think I loved that quick
That hard

But it’s all over now
Angel Jan 17
And what is to come of my spirit when
dissolve myself of all essence due to lack of
What’s the word
Jan 17 · 82
Please Be Dreaming
Angel Jan 17
I feel defeated by this world I know so little about
I’m truly a speck
Insignificant, truly
There’s peace in knowing that
There’s sorrow in knowing that
I don’t want to be dreaming anymore
Jan 17 · 587
I’m Falling
Angel Jan 17
I remember that heaviness
Laying on my mothers bathroom floor
Hitting no end
I was laying there for hours..
Staring at the ceiling being engulfed in emotion
I have a love/hate for that moment in time
I felt so much of one emotion it was like a drug
Jan 17 · 121
Angel Jan 17
Why is it so uncomfortably comfortable
to drown yourself in your emotion
by basking in the sadness of a song
torturing yourself so much by having it on repeat
but you can’t pull yourself together
long enough to change the song
you just wanna cry all the sadness out
but then you do it so you feel numb
so you don’t have to feel
Angel Jan 2
I’ve come up with so many words of discomfort as to why I should stay but the only one that makes me most uncomfortable now a days is
I love you
Angel Dec 2019
To the days that matter & to the days that
May we find laughter in the ever existing
Dec 2019 · 99
A Blip That Was Felt
Angel Dec 2019
I used to think contentment was the thing to live for
To make a life of
It made sense,
I don’t know why

I do,
It was because of you.
Because in this decade of love that is coming to an end

I looked for everything of purpose in you
Then I found myself & thought we were so much of the same

Then I realized it was a fantasy & it wasn’t a game  

It took me so long

There was so much confusion much less delusion

I feel as though I’m slowly finally letting go
I just can’t keep running back to a thought that isn’t going to help me grow

I’m sorry & I hope there’s no resentment because this hurts me just as much
& I know it’s absurd but please
would you please still let me in  

Can we find new purpose
Because I feel as though we need much more & I still stand by what I’ve said
I just feel like living is much more than just being content
Dec 2019 · 246
Two’s a crowd?
Angel Dec 2019
It’s been years it seems since I last seen your face in person
Now I’ve adored you since I’ve first been around
Your absence is felt & I’ve barely known your presence
How foolish does that sound

Yet the least foolish is your laugh
So gratifying that it would be a shame if anyone were not able to enjoy it or your smile
I feel as though that this thing that’s present is too fragile for me to say aloud
I love your mind,
Your presence.
Your humour.
Dec 2019 · 324
I Miss You Now
Angel Dec 2019
I miss you now

I mean I’ve always missed you but now
I miss you

It’s like a longing
Borderline ache
& when I think of myself aching

It’s under your grasp
Hand on my throat &
Lips on my neck

As if under a spell
But this was cast long ago
So why am I still aching

These thoughts have me breaking

Angel Dec 2019
Why don’t you breathe
Breathe through it
There was a fire in you once
But only now are you actually appreciating the flames & not only the warmth
Dec 2019 · 44
To Feel It All
Angel Dec 2019
On days like these
When the sharp air of the night
Matches the happenings of the day
I feel as though this is what it means to live
To really feel life

The pure joy of the moment with laughs so genuine & innocent
The laughter after a cry because you know it’s going to be okay
The feeling of embracing the unknown & faith
The feeling of heartache & scarcity of love but feeling okay

One of those nights to feel the air & know you’ll see the stars if you look up
Nov 2019 · 41
Angel Nov 2019
You feel like a lukewarm brush of air on a summers evening
You remind me of a sunflower
in the way they are bold
in the way they outstand everyone else
behind the greyish blue sky; like an ocean in the middle of a light rainstorm.
You smell like a home
light & comforting.
Our memories
faded & subtle.

The feeling between is a mystery
Spoken to n touched too soon
I had hoped it would be a caress on the skin but your embrace is no longer soft
There’s loving intent
No one to impress anymore
But the way we were present
isn’t there anymore
We’re just
& I must be okay with that
Because you’re not here anymore
And that’s that

The lukewarm air is no longer noticeable
Sunflowers no longer impress me
as well as the frigid air
that caresses you after rain fall
Memories fade
& lord knows I’m absentminded when it comes to love
Light & comforting is too comfortable;
that it is uncomfortable solving your mysteries
& softness never lasts long in this world dear
Nov 2019 · 66
Angel Nov 2019
I didn’t want to be one of those people
& live in regret with what I’m doing & what I’ve done while I’m doing it.
I realize
But the depth is,
Nov 2019 · 197
The Moment
Angel Nov 2019
The moments
so fleeting
I’m troubled with the decision of
basking in it or capturing it
with a snap of my lens or conjuring words for the moment as to say
things can be beautiful
Nov 2019 · 289
A Must
Angel Nov 2019
Here’s to hoping we stay nothing close to the same
As what we were put through

There’s no need to keep the moldable pieces of yourself from shifting
They’re meant to be worn & melded

Nothing more beautiful of art that changes so, with the tune of the shift of my bones
Nov 2019 · 60
It’s All Real
Angel Nov 2019
The pink sky in this gloomy evening
made your heart feel something
That orange ball of fiery in the sky made you presumptuous
Then it all faded to grey
Clarifying your uneasiness
of what’s at bay
Too fast for your mood fluctuations
Even though it matches
This weather is too much a part of your madness
Everything from the sky
To the rivers flowing
To the air & the soil you neglect
by wearing shoes
How are you going to be the true you
If the one thing that’s tryna help you
Is dying cause of you
Aug 2019 · 168
Comfort In The Storm
Angel Aug 2019
Freckled window
With touches of orange
Purple & grey skies
So close
The air feels thick
As if the world is still
For only a moment
The sky snaps with life
rumbles with such grace
As if it’s known since
The beginning of time
exactly what to do to make
Me feel
Jun 2019 · 173
Angel Jun 2019
It was there again
I mean
It came to me again
With a slow numbness
N grip on the throat
Weight on my chest
& shake of my head
It was all there again
Once again
It’s got me
This time it was terrifying
Because I’d have lived
For longer this time
So this time it felt like
Instead of comfort
Jun 2019 · 167
Angel Jun 2019
I wish the words flowed more smoothly without the help
Without the help
Without the help
Of sin
I feel as though I feel too much but it’s very particular when it comes to the time in which I grasp the right words. That’s painful
Jun 2019 · 610
A Mark
Angel Jun 2019
& the day carries on
& the earth continues to turn but
not without a storm
the universe crying out for your existence
Jun 2019 · 240
to be or not to be
Angel Jun 2019
What’s to say you will know?

The fiery being you are detests to your celestial existence

Forever a delusion
What have I transpired?
May 2019 · 206
To Be
Angel May 2019
The comparison of such dejection
Makes me feel as though I am not one
But two or many or all
To feel prototypical is an oddity in itself but I need distinction to find comfort in being astral
I want to feel authentic
Apr 2019 · 391
Hit Or Miss
Angel Apr 2019
I had never known a love that strayed so quick
I had known only love that wanted to stay, fight, that was hooked, infatuated, that I couldn’t shake  
Even if the air was thick

There’s mumbled sorrys for reasons apparently unknown
No aggression or solutions
Just stay or goodbyes
Transfixed on what if’s
Afraid of what the truth transpires

because time doesn’t lie
Apr 2019 · 723
It’s You
Angel Apr 2019
You bite the bullet and hold the gun
But you stand in front of the mirror all day
Acting stunned
Mar 2019 · 172
A classic
Angel Mar 2019
There is an eeriness to it now
Your presence
So complete with irony & memories
you’d think it was a

You’re blessed in the sense
Of having the ability to be
Be unaware
So unaware that there’s a
Luring feeling to you

The way you so easily adapt
To the chaos
So used to that chaos that it’s

Don’t be
Jan 2019 · 746
The bruised soul
Angel Jan 2019
Let’s call this one

The bruised soul

You may know what caresses your heart
But baby,
you know nothing

Nothing but your own self is to blame for what is
and what will be

Because the universe
Only gives one chance
For it is its authentic self &
What it gives

My love you’re the burning
And ever existing stars
Of what is and what will be

Take pride in that
And that only

Quick thoughts of the alcohol induced mind
Dec 2018 · 271
From Whatever
Angel Dec 2018
If this may be it
Please conform
To the wishes of the

I may not know

But I know this is it
I’m afraid of the
Time in which this

This may be it
I need some conversation, my brain is imploding, the river of thought is stirring, I’m nervous, I hope this isn’t the ******* of life surrounded by my expression of life. I need some quite, but this energy is reprised by sight.
Dec 2018 · 263
Stop this flow of time
Angel Dec 2018
With a grin across her face
“Must I be my own muse?”
It never lasts long
Oct 2018 · 730
I felt you
Angel Oct 2018
I felt you in the way
you looked into my eyes
& I had hope that we still shared love

Is it true that you’re tired?

That you’ve found love,
but within yourself, rather then me?

I’m not mad
I’m envious

I want to love myself as well
Please save me

You’re free
But my thoughts have me shackled
Angel Jun 2018
This cigarette stays lit
You are warm and sore
The frogs croak & the cayotes howl
The fire stays lit
The only thing illuminating the night
Besides the astounding stars
May 2018 · 94
Just be
Angel May 2018
I know you want to feel something
But you always do

What do you want to feel so badly
That you turn yourself inside out &
Devour this lifes vastness with such

Turn yourself inside & out a million
More if you have to but know
You are the universe
With such wholeness & absence
You are more then you think &
Only yours
Don’t think about it too much
Sep 2017 · 349
So sweet
Angel Sep 2017
Eyes glossy & wide
So precious to me
The music so sweet
So comforting & calm
You make me weak
Seek the love & grace
I'm longing & want to see
Please take me
Teach me to love & see
Drunk thoughts
Sep 2017 · 322
The End
Angel Sep 2017
It's a renewal


We're all dying

The seasons are changing
The tides are turning
The earth is burning

We're all going down


The Beauty in it all
Mother Earth is a beautiful thing.
Fear will not help me.
Help me.
Jul 2017 · 976
My sunflower
Angel Jul 2017
How did I so happen to come across
this gem, that stands so tall
simplistic yet so beautiful
in front of this pale blue sky
you shine radiant
My love with sunflower eyes
Jun 2017 · 331
Tunnel Vision
Angel Jun 2017
Something manic about her
Jun 2017 · 374
Angel Jun 2017
The crab apple tree blooms
Flower petals flow in the breeze
Sitting in the sun
Laughter fills the air
Mixed with the tunes of the radio
Jun 2017 · 236
Right side up
Angel Jun 2017
I feel upside-down
This building
These people
Keep me right side up
But its not my anchor
I need to make it
My mind is
My heart will be
Jun 2017 · 245
Angel Jun 2017
No birds
Baracaded by the strong breeze
May 2017 · 246
5:20 am
Angel May 2017
I lay piles of sodium
At the corners of my room and windowsill
The feathers still
on the window

My head is throbbing
My mind no where
But everywhere
Stomach churning
Eyes burning

Only half the lights work
It doesnt feel right being back here
I can still hear the echoes of her little voice
Reciting the prayer "Our Father"
Is that the name of it?
I haven't recited it in so long
This bed may be hands down the most comfortable ive ever layed upon. But this isnt home.
Apr 2017 · 263
Angel Apr 2017
a year later
we hadn't talked
the sun started to melt away the
evening summer sky
it was just us at the top of the hill
we gazed
we chattered
boards at the ready; familiar
you reached for my hand
& your touch
your touch felt blissfully comfortable
careful stop at the bottom of the hill
i didn't want to let go
Apr 2017 · 332
cigarette smoke
Angel Apr 2017
Books upon books stacked on
the few bookshelves in my bedroom
I haven't read any
Watermarked ceiling
Hazy mellow lighting lures the shadows
Full ashtray
Chamomile tea
Two honey
Apr 2017 · 359
Angel Apr 2017
I go to the washroom to freshen up
The bar is loud
I smell something familiar
Smells like you
It smells like you
I don't want to lose you
I'm sorry
I'm ******, I know
We're fcked
We know
Apr 2017 · 210
What Now
Angel Apr 2017
You said I reminded you of music.
I know music is one of your favourite things.
The pressure.
You'd wake me with kisses & caress my skin.
But what happens when your fingertips come across my imperfections.
The shame.
You say I'm more than you could ever ask for.
But what happens when I tell you there is more.
The guilt.
You have your addictions, like we are with tarring our lungs. What if you found that I do it because it slowly kills me.
The irony.
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