Poem per lover
No fret
Poems of hunger
Drowned in so much thought
It’ll make you melt
Even though the sun is low
We’ll see the day
We’ll see the day that a love is truly felt

The ripple of the lake looks like a song
Dancing in formation as smooth as my stretch marks

Here’s to hoping we stay nothing close to the same
As what we were put through

There’s no need to keep the moldable pieces of yourself from shifting
They’re meant to be worn & melded

Nothing more beautiful of art that changes so, with the tune of the shift of my bones

The crab apple tree blooms
Flower petals flow in the breeze
Daydreaming
Sitting in the sun
Laughter fills the air
Mixed with the tunes of the radio

I wish I could forget about
the scent of coconut pear
But you’re engrained in my thoughts whenever I touch my lips
I wish I could forget about strolls we took on lukewarm days
Standing hip by hip

I wish I could rid you of my mind when I think about what it means to feel
or be in a dip
Or the way you spoke so passionately
Like it were the last thing to escape
from your mouth
I wish I could forget about
the way you drank guineas
like it were smoother than my heart of steel
Or how you couldn’t keep your bun from being wild like the way you always feel

I hate that I think about you every
other day if not every time I fall asleep
I hate that I can’t help but to think
of why sunflowers are my favourite
every time one passes me by
I hate that I didn’t kiss you when I
came to see you & told me I could stay, I just walked away
I hate that I know I’ll never have you
the same
That’s no bad thing

But I hate the most that it took me so long to find this wrenching feeling
because we made love feel folly
We were young
We had reason
I wish we both got to experience us thrive
I’m so proud of myself & lately
I don’t need much reason
I’m so much of the same & so much not
I’d like to meet again, get to know the knew plot

Maybe somewhere in the mountains
If not, we’ll meet again through the stars
I wish I could forget so many things
No words are worth the choking to try express what I miss of you,
so much
I’ll just say goodbye for now
Be content, that’s all.

Freckled window
With touches of orange
Purple & grey skies
So close
The air feels thick
As if the world is still
for only a moment
The sky snaps with life
rumbles with such grace
As if it’s known since
the beginning of time
exactly what to do to make
me feel

I’ve come up with so many words of discomfort as to why I should stay but the only one that makes me most uncomfortable now a days is
I love you

“....you’ll still be around in the earth, the wind & the stars.”

Why is it so uncomfortably comfortable
to drown yourself in your emotion
by basking in the sadness of a song
torturing yourself so much by having it on repeat
but you can’t pull yourself together
long enough to change the song
you just wanna cry all the sadness out
but then you do it so you feel numb
so you don’t have to feel

If this may be it
Please conform
To the wishes of the
Switch

I may not know

But I know this is it
I’m afraid of the
Time in which this
Clicks

This may be it

I felt you in the way
you looked into my eyes
& I had hope that we still shared love

Is it true that you’re tired?

That you’ve found love,
but within yourself, rather then me?

I’m not mad
I’m envious

I want to love myself as well
Please save me

You’re free
But my thoughts have me shackled

First thing on the horizon
Yellow lights twinkle in the distance
Windshield wipers squeak as it wipes
snow from my windshield
Sparks playing lightly in the background
Head heavy
drown in the haze of my tears
Salty lips
Smooth melodies
Light strums
Give me some time

I miss you now

I mean I’ve always missed you but now
NOW
I miss you

It’s like a longing
Borderline ache
& when I think of myself aching

It’s under your grasp
Hand on my throat &
Lips on my neck

As if under a spell
But this was cast long ago
So why am I still aching

These thoughts have me breaking
Slowly
Slowwllyyy

Snap

The pink sky in this gloomy evening
made your heart feel something
That orange ball of fiery in the sky made you presumptuous
Then it all faded to grey
Clarifying your uneasiness
of what’s at bay
Too fast for your mood fluctuations
Even though it matches
This weather is too much a part of your madness
Everything from the sky
To the rivers flowing
To the air & the soil you neglect
by wearing shoes
How are you going to be the true you
If the one thing that’s tryna help you
Is dying cause of you

These days suite you.

Not because the snow contrasts your
dark hair, making you stand out more than you already do.
Or because your eyes remind me of
melting ice.
Nor the fact that your smile
compliments the weather so well.

But because on these winter days
you melt the coldest of hearts.
Because you made me find a feeling.
The feeling is shame..or guilt for I have shared too much.
I’ve now given you a piece of me;
My mind

I’ve given you the purest form of myself
& my captured thoughts. It’s beautiful.
But I’m not fond of the fact that
I remember your touch more than
I do your words.
Nor the fact that I had to remind myself
to re-direct my gaze

I thought the feeling you gave me
were butterflies, but it wasn’t quite that.
It’s a similar feeling, this is like a fire I can’t touch.
This is a new feeling & I'm reminded
once again that the universe
has a hold on me, unlike I do myself.

I would’ve found that statement
frustrating & pathetic a year ago
but I’ve learned to trust myself
&
what is
&
what will be.

To the days that matter & to the days that
don’t
May we find laughter in the ever existing
woes

The water holds steady
as my tears did
Lush green surrounds me
I could fall asleep now
The water looks like a song...

Dragonflies
Birdhouses
No birds
Baracaded by the strong breeze

How did I so happen to come across
this gem, that stands so tall
strong
simplistic yet so beautiful
in front of this pale blue sky
you shine radiant

I told mama I can’t do this no more
Ma said she don’t know what to do
Go see someone new
Don’t be so blue

I told dad I can’t do this no more
I wanna die
He said you’re invincible
You can’t die my girl, it’s impossible

But maybe that’s why I feel like death
Let me find peace