Dear **** boys

Lies have become a custom to me.
I heard so many and told many more.
I take extra long showers now with boiling hot water, hoping to cleanse this skin.
Hoping to erase this sin.
I tell myself i'm over it but my heart still yearns
it still burns with a passion only you could ignite.
A blaze that's taken over my soul.
I feel trapped, stuck in a black hole.
I'm going no where im lost.
I tell myself i will never talk to him again.
I tell myself we can just be friends.
It's my fault, I'm the one to blaim.
I bought into it.
I ran like a moth to the flame.
And like a moth I got burned.
Dear **** boy

why am I so excited, my heart beats fast
I feel pleasure and fear at the same time.
I feel like i'm about to commit a crime.

Dear **** boy
When you said Netflix and chill
I was unaware there would be no Netflix .
Plus your definition of chill
doesn't seem to be adding up to my thesaurus.

Dear **** boy

Where have you gone
I've been calling and texting
but you still haven't picked up the phone.
When you said let's be friends was this a
signal for the end.
Dear **** boy what is heartbreak…
Don’t know here's the answer

loving you.

My little mermaid
has the reddest hair in the land
She funny, she crazy she never bland
She an artist with a big heart
she's a heartbreaker she will tear you apart
She's beauty and she grace
and if you talk **** she will rip your face
My little mermaid

~latrin

Love is like a disease it spreads.
Hatred is an itch when you keep
Scratching it. It Fester an kills you.

When i think about the things I've said.
Feelings I felt. I melt inside.
It turns my in sides out.
My heart combust
An I hate myself.
Why are I not enough.
Denial will have you walk for miles.
Sorrow is a sweet after taste of a sucker punch of truth.
Loneliness is only a symptom.
An that to will pass.


I am a enigma of feeling. I cry when the rain falls to hard. When the wind blows in the wrong directions. I'm poetic. I'm also a stepping stone. The men I've let erase my soul an rewrite my blueprint. The salty tears I cry are almost symbiotic. Another symptom. Like a sonnet short an sweet. Running in a circle walking a fine line. Waiting to leap. Is it a crime to work 9 to 9. Roller coaster emotinal train wreck. An I think to myself who will love me.



I bare myself to the pit an it asks me if I'll jump. I reply not today. Slumped down I step closer to the edge. I reenact self destructive behaviors daily. Am I considered an addict. I seek validation from namless phantoms. I named them my self conscious. Are you listening my beating heart gets louder. I order cream an chowder. Sips slow on estacy. Love an lust sleep next to me. I'm smothered in one while I'm blocked to the other. Exits are closed off I think where is my mother.  I shudder remembering I'm alone.

Im weak

Im weak against you
your smell, your smile.
The warmth it drives me wild
Your touch sets my body ablaze,
my mind goes in a dreamy haze.
I'm so amazed.
My **** little secret, so ***** so wild.
My hottest fantasy not for a child.
I look at you my mind blanks out.
The things I would do to you would make you scream and shout.
I'm weak against the temptation,
the disease I call your flesh.
You drive my body crazy there is no rest.
I'm weak.

Diary of a **** boy

**** boys………




burn it with fire…….


They said come to the dark side, they had cake…


the cake was a lie.

Story of my life

then Netflix and chill
there was no Netflix nor any chill
sad face cry

the I ran .......

and left shoes.

story of my life.
(They were black too)

#The Netflix was a lie

Hypnotic ecstasy,
drowning in a bottle next me.
Dressing my face in my favorite addiction.
Satisfying my vanity with this new composition.
Dressing my face in a false sense of security.
Faking a smile trying to play down my purity.
A girl wise beyond her years.
Just playing dress up for her peers.
I ****** up, I ****** up a lot.
I tip over the bottle and then I got caught.
I got caught in a web I created.
Messed up, left and jaded.
Beyond the point to even care if i'm hated.
I took the stereotype and said "**** IT!"
I killed it.

Where the monsters hides or where does it lie.

Does the monster under your bed really die?
I can't help but wonder why.
The reason I hear the screams of distant past.
The reason I think my future will burn and crash.

The monster is us the screams we hear, the voices we are afraid of
its us. Its in all of us. The reason we cling to meaningless thing like likes and followers is because its easier for the monster to hide.
Next time you go to  sleep before turning off the lights ask who is the real monster here.

Feelings can be overbearing,
An the truth hurts like a *****.

When did I fall down the rabbit's hole.
When will I crawl out this ditch.

You touched my very soul.

At last I go It kills me that you don't know. What am I to you...

My soul still wanders. Lust it thickens the air.How will I fair. My mind blinded in honey suckles I can't smell the *******.

Logic turns to time I've wasted.
Seems I've waiting to long. Rain smells like regret. It mirrors the tears thats already dried.

How can I be strong when I'm weak. Liars always pay but I can't remember a lie you've said. Dead long gone. Bitter sweet like an old song. I love you.

Simple

Make up is my Arsenal
Its one of the many mask a I wear.
Like a warrior going into battle I fair well.
My enemys yeild with every stroke I apply.
I wonder when will I stop this lie..
Myself self wealth, self esteem, self conscious. Selfish I am allowed to be. Allowed to grow like a ****. Beauty in my eyes. In my color. In my tides. I pray to god to bring me beauty. To bring self love. Medicine to my soul so i can finally fix ever hole. Hold me in your arms. Hold my face to the mirror so I can think. Finally I am beautiful.

Maddening the thought of dying but where already dead so whats the point of trying.

Lying,

lying to our-self telling ourselves it will get better in the end but all where doing is playing pretend.

Friends,

The friends we think we have the friends that run away when things start to get bad.

living life is Death & Madness thats why positivity is so hard to practice.

Your all I ever wanted. Feelings left in the past but I still feel haunted. Your ghost weighs upon my soul my heart on a mission with one goal. Desperate to cling to love that will never fulfill me. Because I was never enough.

Shades of black
Everything is black
Your eyes your hair the way your stare back
You eyes are mesmerizing ******* me in with just a look. Your like a temptation you've Got me hooked. I just died in your arms with a smile on my face. Shrowed with black covered in lace. Dying before I even realized I was alive, living for a love that's already died.

I fantasize about you an I.
Letting imagination take the forefront when Realization hits you. You can only fantasize about someone so long. You find your self in to deep with out hope to resuscitate. Your eyes dilate an by then, Your hearts already stopped. Then you bleed, dying of a bleeding heart.. excitement gleams your eyes. With shinning bright lights echoing your slow demise. Your love never diminishes.

Feeling blue imagining my hands all over you. Clinging to the past ghost of ex communications. Me curious of the past relations. I’m jealous of a stranger. My heart beats so fast I get cold sweats thinking about it. My chest tightens an I’m afraid. So I run away, pushing all spectators down. I’m so quite ill never make a sound. I will never be in your hyper beams with brown eyes that gleam. An will go to extra extremes to hide it. I want to be your space ship.

Token me with a crumb of affection I wonder if God’s teaching me a lesson. Burn me an lay me to dust. Will I ever revel myself. Even in good health I break out in cold sweats. Find my self with short breaths. Addicted to you like a crack head on ****. With little to any satisfaction left. Will you reject me. That hurts me to the core. Will you try to use me like a common *****  will I become a bore. You don’t even see my efforts. My heart turns me colder. My mouth become even bolder. Mind set on prize clothed in the weirdest design. With one plan to make you mine.

I  let my eyes glaze over,
I wish somebody would of told her.
Hurt people, hurt people.
Say a little prayer Mrs. Aretha.
Every dog has his day. Manipulation is a way.
Control my mind, you captured my soul.

I fall in love to quickly.

I feel safe in your arms,
fooled by your charms.
You made me feels like I was worth every hour. You built me up higher than any tower. Now I tear myself down every minute thinking about you in it.
Let me be wifey
Kissing you thinking about this  how life be.

I’m scared to let you in. Welcome you into the wolves dean. We can play pretend, live in sin, but let’s be real your gonna hurt me in the end.

I remember the first  day I saw you, it was like a dream I was walking and there you were. Standing there but not. In reality I had seen you before but I had never ‘Seen” you. The real you. The you that cries at the littlest things people say but hide it extremely well. The ***** that you try to play off on everyone. The distance you hold between everyone you meet. The miles no one seems to want to cross. The loneliness no one else seems to understand. When I first meet you I thought you looked like a fallen angel. your hair was so black, so beautiful. Your eyes were so brown so plain, so simple. Everything im not everything, I would never be again.I thought you were so happy but I never knew the truth no one did.
Then I saw you again your eyes where still brown
but it held a spark, a fire, a burning resistance.
Your hair was no longer black it was the prettiest
shade of lilac.
You still looked like a fallen angel,
dark and mysterious. But the
darkness you held
didn’t seem like darkness
it filled a room up.
I remember the first day I saw you.

Crazy how you let things get to far.
Especially when your hearts filled with scars. I’m cold as ice but you seems colder. My tears gleamed eyes makes me wish I was bolder.

I don’t know you. But this feeling is real. The smile you have makes all the looks you give ****. I always have a predisposition that’s muddies up my vision. You an I where so much alike an that’s why I can’t get you off my sights.
I’m desperate but not in love but you make me feel butterfly’s An yield me from the lies. I tell myself, in my dreams. That you an I are deeper than any poem. I’ve come to lye in the bed You’ve made filled with jagged nails. Our hearts still jaded. Sweet like marmalade I’ve gotten sweet on you. So give me an answer what do you want to do.

Dripping red

It was sticky

My hands ran the lines of the walls, taking in every inch.

Every second could be counted by my breaths.

The smoke from the gunshots got caught in my lungs.

Not the only thing that got caught.

Suddenly I stop breathing, I looked out and your remains laid in my arms.

I killed you.

I killed you

I killed you

like you killed me...


Only metaphorically

My death was never to be seen

Not a **** eye on me

Never on me, never about me.

The great king has fallen,his ****** were but whispers and dust to be whep under the rug.

Like my existence.

He held me at night kissed me ever morning

And told me he loved me.

Lies there all lies.

And even in his memory he was still able to bury me.

Dysfunction another symptom
I'm felonious filled with *******
Baloney *** *****. I wear facade
to get a turn of the switch. My rhymes
are a flush of color. In which I dissected
My inner *****. Wondering why I do it.
Why I drag it on. Why I hover over looking like king kong. I'm a ******* fraud. Why don't I **** myself. But living feels like dying. Oxygen I cosume like lying. No ones buying my *******. Except me looking in a mirror I still can't see. What is he to me. Nothing what am I to him. Nothing a cumrag. Nothing to stop an brag. About side *** position made it my mission to be dismissed. He won't be missed. I lacked in self confidence..


Gas up my head. I live in belair. Where love is dead. Singing high notes about love thats died.

My heart pangs to the light hums from the  soundless abyss. Waiting to Ponce without thought my tongue sharper than any knife. You ignite a fire in me that burn hotter than the seven suns. Makes me want to run away. I feel my blood drip in my hands from my beating heart contracting, making demands. I sometimes dream of better times where I knew who you where an you’ve know of my existence. I wish you finally see what you had been missing. My heart feels like he’s been served on a platter. She acts like nothing else matters. I burn with a hate that makes bile taste like a cupcakes. In this wake I’ve decided that love an loss matter nothing to the victor unless you have spoils. An I’ve spoiled you with affections that doesn’t equate to the fate you’ve decided for us both. My hate is one that simmers till the *** over flows.
An with that I wash away all my woes. Baptized in the blood of my enemies. Reverent rides the waves with daggers found on any spades. With a knife in my back I’ve decided I’d rather die than cry. At this point there no reason to even say goodbye.

To all the men
I've lost my heart to.
The stories I would tell.
I'd love to write scenarios
Of church ringing bells.

Innocence gleam my eyes.
Wanting to meet my perfect guy.

Petrified, mortified the feeling of losing
myself. My whole body melts. The thoughts of suicide glides my inner eye.
Thinking I'd die.
A soul filled with lost souls looking for my match.
I'm attached to the thought of love.
That fear is undeniably deliciously terrifying. Soul prying sound of a echo of silence. I'm alone hold me close. Dip your fingers in my ghost. Tell me your one desire. So I can light you on fire. Passion so tragically undeniably unreliable. Lust fills the air. In despair I think did I ever really love you.

I know well never be together
But you still bring me bad weather.
Infectious my beating heart breaks.

Self inflicted pain, love is an endless game. I can’t stop playing with you.
Years pass me by my tears refuse to let me cry. Strong enough to leave you now.

My heart stayed behind I know you wouldn’t mind. It’s better If I didn’t know.
How much you never loved me tho.
I think I might die inside an wonder why I’ve lead a lie.

Long sips of disappointment
All my tears have dried up.
Sweet like honey suckling.
Come and fill the cup up
Let it flow, spill, dissolve destroy. Bartering with god to take it away
The memories are to great.
Saving all my summers for you.
Empty yet full.
Is this heartbreak is this why i ache
Waking up to a ****** scene
Crime unseen. Im haunted wounds that have sealed bleed.