You're the star in the gallery
of black and white masterpieces,
only flash of light iconic in my temple,
distinguished radiant freckles.

Its been so long since....

A black swan engulfs a white-ness
hidden behind blood-shot darkest hues,
colour only drains so I flood the gates
in an attempt to make the morning shine

Whispers become intolerant of mad stricken
forgotten sea-shells left in a ruck sack,
carried out by the tide to a breach of sea,
like finding numbing needles in a hay stack.

Giggles haunt, not fondly but now violate,
tin soldiers scattered over a wedding cake
and gone the warmth of hallucinations.
Icy cold flakes flare in your wake...

she had a history of dollars,
wrapped around her collar,
they lusted the salt within,
and of the taste of her skin,
she whispered the monsters,
who considered her fodder,
sunk down underneath,
a last scale of her breathe,
and their lawyers will deceive,
but she held onto a black diary,
blood and guts to the new refinery.

Is this a Poetry site,
or a witch hunters' reunion?
Hit on someone's girl
and prepare to be stalked,
all over the internet
and impersonated.
Have your accounts hacked
& never be free
of a certain Virus.
Be deep faked humiliated
as the ignorant isolate you
believing fake screenshots,
handles that are not your own
and in the meantime,
these trolls insist its for the kids
when they bring minors
into their dark dingy dens

Your trust in a wolf disguised
as a woolly little grinning sheep
will not go un-answered
as he builds his kiddie followers.
Manipulates and  brain-washes
before the introduction
of perverted reddit sites.
5 of which I have had shut down.

Did I ever ask Kai for images of herself?
Did I ever ask Kai for personal information?
Did I ever ask Kai ****** questions about herself?
As for this **** site non-sense, I never gave her a **** site url. She asked me if I  find girls 16 years old and over attractive due to Virus's nonsense. I told her, all men find fully developed girls around that age attractive and one of the most popular sites on the internet is called MET which features girls aged between 19 and 24. However, I would not date a girl or mess with a girl under the age of 27 as life experience is very important as is maturity.
I remember scolding Kai for telling someone what her postcode was on all-poetry in a group I created where people could just shoot the breeze with the mindful of it being all-ages  I asked one of the mods to look into it & they said it was Virus Of Life under one of his many aliases.  He was allowed to keep his account as he did not press for her actual address or for further info. But why would an American man ask an American 12 year old girl for her postcode and why was he pretending to be a 13 year old girl at the time & behaving like one?
The worse thing is, she did not give him her postcode but the actual city she was living in!!

Its a good thing I read the group's history transcripts as I did not know about this as I was sleeping as they were communicating.

Did I not have a talk with Kai about groomers seeing that I did think the 764 was targeting HP with that **** bot. The thing is I didn't know the **** bot was attacking everyone's inbox.  I got the **** bot's message a few hours after writing a poem about the 764 that was not very flattering. you can read it here at All-Poetry.
Posted Nov 2024 https://allpoetry.com/poem/18125528-A-Message-To-The-764-by-Ryan-Geoffrey-Hayward-adults

Af­ter I received the message from the ****-bot, I did panic and asked my few young followers if they received a message that was weird. Kai and a 13 year old from India got back to me saying they both received it while they were at School but I told them not to open the message.
When I opened the message, my antivirus software bounced me safely to Google but I wasn't aware of this as my software did not warn me. I thought the bounce was from the Virus itself which was a warning that they know everything about me from Google.

This is why I took Kai to all-poetry as a precaution until I got more details from the mods here. At all-poetry Kai did take a liking to me as I reminded her of her Papa who left her family. I did sponsor Kai with a 3 month gold account so she could have more freedom on the site and hide her online status, create contests, groups. see who visits her profile, etc etc.

I did encourage her to meet the kids there like Gracious Grace and Hikari and a few others I have known for years and also sponsored. I also told the kids to tell their parents of the sponsorships and the website owner, Kev. I even said to Kev that he can look into my *** with any of them, anytime he wished and I barely spoke to any of them anyway, just commented on their poetry.
Gracious Grace who is 13 who I knew since she was 11 and Hikari about 13 too will vouch for me to say I was never in-appropriate with them, never asked for images, personal info, etc etc.

Anyway, before I did introduce Kai there, I had issues with a troll called Virus Of Life who was not too happy when I hit on his girlfriend, Kate The Shrew. Now Virus Of Life is a Satanist and Satanists are told to destroy their enemies. I didn't even know Kate was taken and this fell on deaf ears.  The thing about me was my alcoholism at the time was very bad which is what I am addressing now and I did engage him back back then and especially as he was using my sponsorships of young poets as a weapon against me.

Things were getting very heated and I was concerned I was going to get banned and I wanted to make sure Kai would be okay there as she still wasn't getting to know the kids there. So I told her if I get banned, look me up at underground poetry until I know more of what's happening at HP. I did give her my email in case of an emergency as UP can be difficult to sign up to and indeed she contacted me and I talked her into how to do the process of signing up.

When I knew things were good back at HP, that the security hole was patched and that it was  a site-wide bot targeting everyone, I told Kai that we will return to HP.


Things spilled out into a reddit group with Virus which was not 18 plus. Anything that was considered 18 plus in the group had to be censored with a warning it was NSFW.
I did ask Kai to defend me in this group which turned out to be a mistake. They ended up convincing her I was this serial killer *******. That I had made **** threats against Kate and impersonated me to make it look real. The thing is, I was up against about six of them, all Virus & his Satanic friends and Virus or a friend even hacked my email account and sent Kai images of self mutilation from the dark net. He tried deleting the sent messages which he succeeded from my sent box but I received a strange email from Kai about it. I asked my ISP to look into it and they said that indeed I was hacked from a VPN located in Los Angeles & showed showed me screenshots of the email sent.

They have since been impersonating me on reddit and know a-lot about me as I was friends at one point with a few of them for a good six months so the impersonations do come across as genuine.

This story is actually much much longer such as when Virus tried to ****** me by pretending to be his 15 year old niece who does not exist. Myself and the webmaster agreed it was him and the image was without denial,  AI generated.
He deep fakes me all the time including a pornographic one I am seeing a Lawyer about. As an artist, he can easily fake screenshots, images with photoshop, etc etc and he has done so to get Kai close to him. He has exposed Kai to actual **** images and ****** talk about his 8 inch *****.

He's been on All-Poetry since he was 16 and has amassed far less than 160 followers. I was there for 2 years and amassed nearly 600 followers. People there don't like him & know his true colors. They won't go up against him knowing he's unpredictable and a complete obsessed lunatic if you cross him but you now know why they don't wish to follow him either.
Ironically, he can write poetry very well but most there makes sure he stays off their radar.
This is what happens if you cross him and this blog is truly bonkers or it was the last time I saw it. Its possible they have tried to make it appear to be more "believable" but I'm not going to read it again to find out.

One last thing - Child groomers would never use their real names as I'm doing now. And I do have my credit card on file on this site to prove I am the real Ryan Geoffrey Hayward.  I have been on poetry sites using my real name now for 3 years. I used to change my profile name on AP for a few weeks sometimes when writing as a muse to freshen up my poetry and also here. I won't do that anymore and I ask that minors do not send me *** under the age of 18. Respond to one of my poems instead so its in the public eye. If its a personal matter, talk to Emma, Anais Violet or Thomas W Case if you are a boy. They've been around for-ever.

A simmer
doesn't
necessarily
mean sweat.
It can be chills,
plunging well,
Fan on full blast
I try to sleep
memories of the past
doesn't hold dominoes
Dead before they lasted,
one flick, one motion
is all I try to need
But the death wish
echoes of a silent dish
All I ever wanted,
not a wish granted,
And I'm empty.
like a dry little seed.

There was the boy who run away
to get away from the city life,
Almost perching among the flowers,
baring water to escape his strife.

And the boy who run from the country
Wouldn't answer to God's decrees,
a church was just a hell fire blame,
lacking innocence and a sense of shame.

Bells ring and the shape of innocence
A nightclub stamp is what it meant
A flight-ful bird in the heart-felt hours
as the raw bird is as the bread is flour,
Following time-line is shameless,
The youth and their abuse
Sees themselves as the blameless
and false is their telling the truth.

There's a line and its not always followed.
Like the man whose insides are hollowed
A cat in a bag can't always scratch out,
like endanger to the eggs birds are about
Like a flute without the fluid of lips,
gentle is the mouth of an early morning sip,
dry mouth of a hot early Spring morning.

I wish inside I carried no past demons,
They taste more sour than bitter of lemons,
They smell worse than a car's gasoline
A putrid worse than a night of Halloween
of the decay of left-over smashed eggs
and of this life and the abyss that's between

I sleep 18 hours to see her face,
hoping a few minutes to embrace,
It never happens like in the movies,
I'm borrowing on needless previews

Its like a sneering from a God uncaring
denying food as the cabin's wood
flares on like a distracted child
burns on like a witch in the wild,
like a demon's teeth is baring,
and a nightmare shook,
Like a hang up with flaming
Lil Red Riding in the hood.

The magnetism
of sorrow-ful eyes
is not of dreamy
but in a rip tide.
I saw the futurism
in child-hood days
The worsening
is becoming widened

With the flight of androids,
we'll become quite sleepy,
and the flicks of Amazon
lazy all-day yawns,
Repetition of you-tube
mesmerizes & soothes.

We'll become the fuel source,
as the decades get worse,
or become capitalist puppets,
as we stand back & allow Netflix
of pythons & the blood skin ticks.

The prophets' words are lost and torn,
from a black bible that's badly worn,
and the sincerity of a martyr reborn
coming to **** millions with his sword
is lost to a football crowd that roars
and the testament in a bottle washed ashore,
lost to phone fiddling and ****-hub ******,
Words lost to time that were ever swore.

I hate it when a virus comes back,
to torment you over and over,
just when you started to earn the pace,
back to living  like a 4 leaf clover.

As a child, I rarely ever got sick,
until a red rose finger pricked
Now its agony and trauma
of being dehumanized,
as the only flowers ever picked

Wild as the spreading of covid 19
On trains congested heat boiling,
Fingers point to each of every Judge
obsessed like a kid with choc fudge.

There's only really one true Virus,
Its called the Virus of this Living,
we imagine our veins swollen bleeding
as the stitches come apart from the seams.

The world is in flames,
and man is to blame,
do we have any shame,
for our war crimes?

The guilt of a baptism of killing,
is it fair, the women and kids,
are the ones deeply suffering,
the violence should make one livid,
but we are too desensitized.

Kick out the fire burning at night,
so we can all still sleep so tight,
while the rest of them in misery,
points the finger at you and me.

A mother's tears no longer a harp,
we witnessed through media,
we no longer feel so sharp,
forget all with a delivered pizza........

After-thought of a child's tears,
witnessing the pressing of gears,
parents yesterday, not today,
and the rain pours from shiny day.

Days will turn to weeks,
as tyres don't skid on slicks
& I become pale & meek
unlike a pineapple's ******

She's lost in her own space,
thinking of the Luna race,
A toss turn dream personified,
watching comets catch on fire.

There's no point accelerating
If we are forever sitting idling.
Bees die in jars with lid holes
No freedom to be their whole.

Blue eyes stalk the just cause
This lady's their lust & fork
Delightfully a naked sushi dish
A Japanese woman who knows her fish

They take sushi pieces off her,
not knowing carefully curated
They gasp and vision is blurred
Most poisonous fish and the mince
is flame to her lovely prince.

Give thanks to the good old pufferfish
Torafugu, end of life of final wish.
You slutted her body as you dished,
Murdered lover was your final heartbeat.

Upstairs is a man with no shape,
pretending he can mold me into clay.
The Chaos brings on the storms,
And the earthlings become my worms.

My soul was blunted and *****
by trolls trying to end my days.
Never abused a child and this I'm sworn
They can't **** me with the next dawn.

Unlike their minds, not in the gutter,
or ripping wings of birds wish to flutter
I may adore and sponsor child poets,
Ask them all but you already know it,
The webmaster said I was innocent.

I'm of holy purity of your crimes,
like a shiny find of a dime,
and the love of a sweet dame,
You don't exist but her name.
She's 27 and the love of my life,
**** with me and see her strife.

Next time, I will destroy you.
And she will destroy you.

*******, this 27 year old,
flirts and is so bold
On a train to a destination
She leaves me warm and not cold.

Cheeky flirt as I can't resist
I wish now to see her *******
Her legs are kissable perfect
This journey was ******* worth it.

She magnetizes like a magician
without a cost of admission
Every time I can't resist a stare
She giggles with personality fair.

Her light blue ******* of motion
as her legs won't leave me alone
Its like a **** shop of adult dreaming
But she has me stitched in her weaving.

A good feeling for over this lassie
**** good with ****** *****,
She asks me to exit the next stop
and she finalizes the spinning top.

Trees sway
breathless hay
Two first lovers
The sinful discover.

Humming-bird Perched,
seeds gulped from search,
curiosity of moans
and happiness of groans

Flesh upon the skin
the love felt within
A long time coming
for waves to come crashing.

True truth is broth to the strew,
Simple for dimpled and the crippled,
Its a break from Governments that create,
a hell hole for those with shoe worn soles.

The misery doesn't remind them of Disney,
Not a taxpayer leaves you a silent choir
a life sinking as others are castle building
Ridiculed phone calls won't leave you alone.

They twist arms and your happiness disarms
Yes, find a job as you sleep and then sob.
They destroy as their bosses declare glory
Leave you homeless and left for blood seeping.

Such a beautiful day,
the humming of  cars,
Every influence he has swayed
A morning of eggs dead fried.

He molests the  vulnerable women
and girls as young as only thirteen
Sprays his money to local victims
He uses them all as pretension
He's swayed with imagined truth belief,
A very deep bluff that is pretended.
and the truth will come out when?
These girls as young as Eleven
And this is your President??????

I thought, I would try to give a bit of explanation
as to my considerable situation
I'm a man, broken, shamed, filled with blame
Can't claim I'm anything proclaimed to become

I feel so weak, so bleak, a fragile brittle antique
Full of regrets, always upset, things I wish to forget
Can't believe, I'm 45, still alive, how did I survive?
Drowning, in alcohol, baring this agonized tormented soul
What I would do, to start again, but nothing I can really do.
I want to survive, but child in me died, long time now realized.....

Every-time now I see my baby portrait
I see reflections of me now so haunted.
Once so beautiful, now so scarred
A demon now, sends his only regards.

I don't want to be this damaged broken butterfly.
And I refuse to be victimized again, die and cry....

I'm so drunk right now, but the truth comes out,
For years, I hid darkest memories behind a brick wall,
Had to walk about, pretending I was tall.
Best parts of me fading, but no longer small.
Not  tall, not small, just know how smash a wall!

I'm no longer the victim!
Won't emphasise with your expectations
I heal myself of the symptoms
Of those with lust and temptations.......

I'm not that broken child, anymore!!

Upstairs as I'm in the gutter,
enjoying your wine & the chatter.
Boasting about your daily deeds
Firing one hundred like cutting weeds.

Reducing people to a nervous wreck,
Then at night, sip scotch on the deck.
No conscious of the families destroyed
Bitter there was no day for golfing

Many plough, never soothe like a bad tooth
Dig the land and flick the sand for dinner's broth
Past lovers aren't four leaf clovers in the summer
Ghosts with perfect grammar and one buried a hammer.

Many a talks,
river-side walks.
wishing for a lake
to serve all their sakes,
strong arms may be
but tell that to the seasons
when rain fall never drops
like a balloon as it pops.

Nothing like a talk host
with a small cost,
to bury your head in
with the dead.

Many strangers transverse repetition
Godly on the minds of the saintly
Seduction blowing up all battleships
And if you're naughty, she'll have her whip

She has reddened so many bums like hotdogs
Sometimes its easier for lust over the crops
A stranger in your house and loves to lounge about
Wave your magic wand but it won't give in to her touts.

There's nothing,
in the water,
Just the bees
above hovering
A change of wind
with sway of trees

There's empty alleyways,
no beauty but decay
No female should traverse,
God won't put your pain in reverse.

There's a breeze that catches sneezes
and Angels once set on believing
and a little thing called the odds,
Die a penny-less worthless sod
Or the poison of captured catfish,
Die upon the moon you make a wish,
But there's no second chances
when God made trick or treat.

Down in the middle of you, right past your ranks
My soul settles within you, my heart so sank
I just wish to feel, please help me to heal
Need to release emotions I hid with steel

There's a demon to release, but I will resist
Exorcize it and then may we please persist
There's no trouble with your love to release
Time is running out, do so before I die.

***** water runs through the centre of this life
I wish I had lived life through innocent eyes
Like the soul you have and the purity of no lies
A free soul, no sin or someone's wishful bride

I don't want to be a burden or more a friend
What the trouble is, I think of you again and again

Less is the city that devours me, less than I have
The gift of love you threw me, much more than I had
I just want to hear your stories and live your quarries,
Live the past reminders  as I love your sweet glory

Down in the middle of you, You sparked up my life......

When I rattle this cage, it brings me no rage
I resign myself to being a tragic part of you
Its like I burnt the greatest words from a page
And like an escaped bird who could not grew

Wandering alone and is it too late?
My heart stops beating to this fate.
Is it time for me to pause and relate
How about what I use to appreciate?

I say, stop this but I can't be alone to every beat
Now a savoury treat but it used to taste so sweet
My heart, it breaks, but can you feel everything I relate
Is it too soon to try, be able or will this too I will break

Hey, you're alright? battle's over but can't we pretend
That we can find a way to avoid reaching our end
But truth is naked, more sacred than our lives
We still see the doves above with their pure cries
Inside of us, poison ivy grows and will judge our lies

There's only a cliff in front, hug me and please wait
With baited breathe, has to be but I can't find an escape
Both tortured souls, just mist around us
but this I can't contemplate......
Not for you anyway, not like your sins could ever match
I need to save you, but the darkness now engulfs

I love you with all my heart, we can just stay and not jump
Who cares what comes next, don’t dare move to the front
I can’t allow you, baby just listen, if you die, I can’t take it
I can’t be here alone, please be calm, stay here, do not split

Don't leave me.....
Ever again.......
I know......
But I can't...

Let go......
Please don't go.....

The notes write themselves as the deers have no fear,
feeding their bellys as I watch the telly and write
a piece of poetry this morning.

The microwave beeps as the moaning sheep
demand breakfast, kicks up the sand upon the land. The koala
wakes up the dead as cereal becomes my belly fed.

I milk the cow as my friend sows & the fruits' ready now.
I bask in the sun, naked to no-one and its cheeky fun.
The ravens puzzled by havens hounded by scarecrows,
Another day, of ploughing and feeding and being care-free.....

I walk as wasps stalk me to the lake with water snakes.
I swim and my mind is dim as they're deadly poisonous
I don't care as today is casual like from sideshow dares
To live this heavenly is granted by the star that's falling.

My head gets dizzy when you are around,
until your comforting jokes makes me laugh
Its easy with you to ignore the droning sounds
as we window shop as naively lively calves.

Your blue eyes match the tattoo on your tummy
proudly showing the piercing of your belly button,
Good friend resisting how you were so yummy
When we would met up, my heart had sunken

22 years later I met you after a long absence
I swear you had not changed in the slightest
You still lit up as beautiful as the fountain springs
An Angel of top tier creation of God's Gift.

I gave up chronic alcoholism a few days back
as I got some severe pain on my left side just
below my rib cage. Strangely I still have that
pain but only if I poke the region with my finger.
The pain went away after 2 hours and came back
after eating a meal the next day but now I can only
feel the piercing pain if I poke the region.

I was drinking 3 liters of wine a day or a bottle
of Bullett Bourbon or 30 cans of strong beer for
the last couple of years.

I saw my doctor and got meds that make it impossible
for me to drink as it changes the taste to very ******.

Today I saw him again. He took my blood pressure and
said it was high. He's getting me to take a blood test
tomorrow first thing in the morning after fasting and a
***** test.

I believe the results are going to be bad but I deserve
the bad karma anyway. I really did hurt a-lot of people
when I got smashed over the 2 and a half years.
I could barely put my shoes on before seeing him. It made me exhausted and I've been breathing far more heavier and strained. I always have flume in my throat.

My eyes are yellowing  but not my skin. I do believe I'm in the early or mid stages of liver disease and possibly diabetes but that's on me for the path I chose. Early liver disease can be reversed as can Diabetes. My family has always been very heavy drinkers. My uncle used to drink a bottle of whiskey a day for 40 years and when he got asbestos poisoning, his liver was ironically perfect. His doctor said to him
" I bet you have never had a drink in your life" My Uncle replied " You are on the ball there"
Heart failure and attacks are what kills the men in my family.

I'm not scared of death, I'm scared of not being able to show in 6 months that I am a much better human being and I wish to build bridges again. I need forgive-ness but that will only come with action. My goal in life if I survive is to help elderly men. Drive them to the shops and appointments and just be a friend to them. I'm planning on taking the course soon to be qualified to do this.

I want to change from the demon to a selfless human and feel humanity, empathy & the way I was before I hit the bottle.

I need to survive long enough to answer to the terrible things I have said & apologize truthfully.
I won't accept a new liver though as I don't believe I deserve it. I would rather it goes to someone much more deserving.

A little boy loved his mama
eyes sharp gently for papa
A xmas once so warming
brought upon happiness
It was the happiest of all days
gently falling in the farm's hay
I wish that day was every morning
It was free from tirades of scorning.

I thought my enemies
trying to destroy me,
but they wanted me
to seek help to believe.
A rotten apple falls from a tree,
and gut feelings will perceive
and can  one day becomes fresh
and I'll be holy to one to relish.

I hate the demon inside,
the awful yellowing breathe,
skin as rugged as a rugby footy
the opposite kind of anything snooty

The maps he draws of our escape,
the clays of demons he makes
A target we need to annihilate
A child whose imagery creates.

I refuse to **** a child,
and put forward
I'll **** you in the in the wild,
He's better off dead.

Turn him to our side of living
and see his art of make-believing
destroying aliens  of green blood
before they fall in simple mud.

Green makes something new,
Burnt to ash as a break-thru
Red is fire as the scorpions
I was never the scrap heap feed.

If I was born alive,
then why am I in chains,
the depravity of a slave
in the mud as it rains.

A choice I was not given,
sent to hell & not the heavens
since the birth of my brown eyes
that changed to green as hope dies
Irony to the trees and petals that fly.

The beautiful baby becomes obscure
Timed well on death's watch schedule
Will I go to hell or rejoin this matrix
created by a genius with computer magic.

I was born dead as the infant alive,
Only reached lows until I took my highs
Fingers can point and I have to laugh
It won't be long till you feel the aftermath.

AI will take over your hard earned learning
You'll be laid off though hard at working
Machines can do what you do 24 hours
I really hate to tell the truth this sour.

I believe this is already our hell,
and soon we'll rot in our cells
The dozens of elites will be the Gods,
over the left-over scraps of dogs.

The scars that I inflicted
to every inch of me,
reminds me of the demon
inside that rages & scratches.

Its a child bloodied with memories
of all those dark eye horses,
I remember all events, everything
waking up with blood all over me.

If heaven exists while the whip lashes
and I fall unconscious, lounge claspes
****** mess as I come to everything
a grieving mother mumbling something.

These scars remind me I'm still alive
and of the hope and dreams deprived
but a glimmer of eyes to sun shine
reminds me exists a straight line,
if I can reach it, I'll revive just fine.

I need to see those galloping white horses
with eyes like holy water washing over me.
I'm so tired of the wounds bleeding.....
I am trying to reach the surface to live......

Mr Controversial,
during rehearsals,
He's a fly on the wall,
the demon walking tall.

The palette of all colors
the bizarre of all wonders,
That crazy look in his eyes
is where serpents go to lay.

Creeping up in the shadows
Slithering through the meadows,
madness skull hidden by top hat,
He's the random chaos of top cats.

Dance the moon's crater gravity,
sway in the sky with the blue-birds
Pinchers of your claws on sandcastles
wisdom of a turtle's slow aging.
The mumbling of generations' words
The rebel of a true born rascal.
He walks past the tide of zombies.

I worship every gentle word you say,
and how your hair flickers & sways
How your blue eyes are a radiant day.

Your smooth skin at ease with each touch,
how kissing your neck is such a rush,
and leaves your cheeks red with gush.

Warmly hearted and sweet missile strike.
Every pore and flaws I love like sunlight
I'll always fix you like a punctured bike.

For its not wrong when its all right
through good times and the blight
I only care waking up to your sight.

Whispers echo down the mine-shaft,
I imagine witches and their craft.
The darkness plays tricks on my mind,
My skin goosebumps like its on ice.

Further in, shadows play their tricks,
My wind up torch starts to flick.
Paranoia sets my pulse pounding
as I imagine long finger nails scraping.

It goes dark for the minute I start winding
and all around me, the heavy breathing,
laughs bellowing through rocky surfaces.
Intentions that are ****** murderous.

All I can think of, those dear to be lost to me.

I don't why,
I came smashing down,
I remembered
After 6 valiums
I went to write,
Went down smashingly,
Then there's this cricket
I thought was a cockroach
It tickled my legs
Perfect only last friend.
It remembered my last hopes
as teenage years had coped.

There's an old boulder over the cliff,
a grave for wingless flight-wish birds
above the tiring sea and endless reef
As shallow as a neck snapped failure.

There's hole called a void,
but its whole was white noise,
but it widened as I got numb
and voices erratic of sums

Yesterday was mild distractions
but the void gave birth to creations
Whispering wraiths into the night
leaving me rattled as room got bright.

I leave as the phantoms' nails pierce
so I can't hurt those to me dearest.
yesterday I could feel my heart thumping
but today I can honestly feel nothing.

Hollywood, ingrained
to be lost to the sands,
We all wish to be stars
dreams sparkle so far.

A bloated serpent's belly
she aspires to be on the telly,
He slithers Hollywood boulevard
past the home less's glass shards.

They don't even pierce his tummy,
as he gobbles lost souls up yummy.
The casting director who said no,
and forever they are unknowns