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Reset to the history of what life once was. chatted unknown territory might turn out to be better than what was known.
Mar 5 · 72
Strong by purpose
I’ve been Stung, Stabbed and Scared
But That last one,  cut close to my heart
Then shields goes up. Swords come out.
Love won’t be there anymore, I dropped that cup

Pain to me goes deeper than most think. I’m tough enough to take it, but I hurt like the next... don’t you think?

Most will look at muscular built woman and think “shes way to strong” but won’t assume that physically and mentally she’s had to fight that long.
I can’t assume but people treat me that way. Like I have it easy and have it made. Like I don’t have to fight to go far. Like I didn’t have to sacrifice with bruises and scars.
I saw the lowest, but didn’t make sense to keep looking down.
I was the weakest but didn’t make sense to wear a frown.
Ive  betrayed but the knives couldn’t **** me
I made up my mind long ago, that I will not lose to negativity. That I will only kneel for those who walk with me.
For those who paved a way for me because the odds were against them. I serve with respect to live out that mission, for that alone I’m set apart.
So whats a purposeful meaning  to a broken heart.
your why has to be bigger than your hurts
Oct 2019 · 393
The Sacrificer part 1
Janielle Green Oct 2019
I easily sense the unfulfilled and suffering desires of silent needs.
Which typically finds my light to nurture, heal and please.  
I hear what most won’t say
I see the missing pieces
I feel their pain
Magically I became the hero known as the Sacrificing Pleaser.
Experiences of an Empath
May 2018 · 227
Greatness
Janielle Green May 2018
My current situation is not my destination
But preparation filled with painful and loving situation.flawless perfection, forgiving expectations. Designed preparation  built for Greatness.
Life is not happening to you, you are happening to life. This to shall pass. Pass it and be Great
May 2018 · 668
Don’t Forget About Me
Janielle Green May 2018
They say the squeekiest wheel get fix
And the loudest baby get the attention
But when it comes to love they forgot to mention
That the quiet ones are desperately in need
I yearn fix, I want your attention, Im just discrete
I exsist and want your love, so don’t forget about me.
Deep Fear of opening up to another.  still healing wounds from the last battle I lost. War called Love.
Apr 2018 · 546
Excuse Me
Janielle Green Apr 2018
You will have to excuse me if I show off
You will have to excuse me if I’m blunt
After years of being push around
Heart aches and let downs
Excuse me if I choose not to be in the back
But live in the For front

Excuse me if I come off strong
After years of being put down
Backed into a corner. Theirs hands around my neck. Forced not to talk or breath
I wasn’t in fear but thoughts were you just wait till I get what I need. I will Be Free

So excuse me if I come off fearless, bold and unphased.
I’m just living life and overcoming and the suffering phase

Now my voice mighty and loud
Bursting through every door. Im coming back for everything that god had behind those doors.

Im claiming back my power
I have discovered a Queen
I’m focus on greatness and my destiny
with fire blazing around me, pheniox has to be seen
So if you see me coming, you will have to excuse me
Pheniox rising from the ashes. She will either ignite a fire within you or burn you. If I come off the wrong way, you will have to excuse me.
Apr 2018 · 243
Needs
Janielle Green Apr 2018
I didn't ask him. It's because I don't need him.
I don't need him to wipe my tears, I don't need his help
I don't need him to hug me, when I can hug myself
I don't need him to kiss me, nor miss me
I don't need his love, when I can love myself.
learning how to feel without being dependent
Apr 2018 · 211
Intimacies
Janielle Green Apr 2018
Intimacies
Lets come together and be at peace
Without obligation, a space to be free
No pressure. less effort. free flow speech.
Leaving behind societies chaos. keep our minds at ease
Lets detach from this world and enter our own
Commit to the moment yet nothing written in stone
Enjoy each others company. Karmic souls once again meet
Safe place like home, let be each other intimacies.

Lets build a life together we don’t have to run from
Yet we have to be realistic and know when it time to go back home
And even when we part ways, we know its okay
Because that’s another day, that we could enjoy each other’s space.
Departed. Yet We learn how to look forward to missing each other
Because even far away we learned how to energetically feel one another.......

And thats what make our connection last and go so deep
because another moment is not guaranteed, but yet and still you choose to come back to me

lets continue to express the passionate admiration for our unique like minds
Showing genuine appreciation for each others worthy time
More moments of passionate ***, magnetically combined
Giving and receiving our lust for one another, at the same **** time.
Feel free to be raw and open, and lets continue to voice our needs
Hold back on our egos and share our vulnerabilities  
Be there for one another as long as we agree
May we continue to sincerely… lloove I mean,  May we continually  be each others Intimacies
An unspoken connection between 2, no need for outside validations. No need for titles. Just 2 people choosing to be and enjoy
Janielle Green May 2017
He’s saying,
As long as you stay, you can leave as you please

He’s saying,
As long as you return to me by sunrise, you can run free at midnight
Saying nothing When I come home by daylight, just as long as it seems we are together in public eyes.

Games we play are pure Deceptions.
I’m in home sweet prison, we are papered bind, chained by delusions and lies. Our love is like doing time and even though he senses the unhappiness on my mind, he says to me all the time “you will be alright”

"I do" was my crime. Our child is the paying fine. So I’m Akon "Locked up" until He closes his eyes. He hears when I sneak out, so even he sleeps with one eye open, towards my unfaithful behavior. He Pretends to be blind.

Im Trained to be home momentarily. Agreeing to be in his detentions temporarily.
For when he met me my love was untameable widly desired to be spirited and free

But he refuses my request to be free. He holds on tight and that’s even if it’s killing me.

So when he senses my  surpressive screams to finally leave. He will rush to leave out the set of keys. Within my arms reach. by my bar side intentionally. because he knows my desire to run yet in need of a safe home.  he holds  the keys.  Giving me a copy version to be free.

And If I don't return like we lawfully agreed, The punishment of manipulation will be black hole deep. He will catch me and emotionally blackmail me. Verbally put on the handcuffs, steal away my keys.
appoint me to the critical  judge, reminding me he’s the man who holds my Keys to leave.

Presenting my  past and mistakes to the courthouse packed with tyrants, which will be past me's. Deferment my character, rule me as guilty. Killing my spirit by Belittling my dreams. Crying that I attempted ******. attempting to **** him. for attempting to steal me.

He won. Victimized and trapped I return to my cell.
After verabally placing on the black and white strips and putting me through hell.

handcuffs on tight, game face on right,
He taunts me with tactics all day and night......

30 days of his controll, guilt trip complete.
He surprises me with kind  gesture and ask how bad do you want to be free?

He plays with sound of jingling keys, a melody that sounds good to me
Next to my Bar side, He finally placed down my set of keys
And reminds me,
That as long as you return here by sunrise, you are free to leave
A relationship that feels like prison
Aug 2016 · 400
Broken Vows
Janielle Green Aug 2016
Its like holding empty glass to your mouth, hoping for something to spill out..... Why pretend?
Pretending the glass is full when its nothing there
Aug 2016 · 1.2k
Emotional Stimulation
Janielle Green Aug 2016
Stimulate me, not down there but here.... in my heart ♥
Stimulate my mind, my body will follow and my heart will stay
Jul 2016 · 529
Moratorium Idenity
Janielle Green Jul 2016
AM I told what to think? Without gaining knowledge on how to think.
AM I taught how to feel? without understanding why I feel.
AM I raised in what to believe?  Not given the freedom in what I want to believe.
AM I told what to be?  Without allowing to simply be.
To know thy self is to gain understanding and knowledge of self. That is to individually and authentically  find who I am and what my purpose is .
How do I gain knowledge on what I retain in my mind including:    subconsciously and consciously
and how do I learn to understand my emotions, feelings and hear the purpose of my soul
physiological identity crisis in me is so surreal that I do not how to be real
In progress of Inner child work
May 2016 · 1.6k
My Fears
Janielle Green May 2016
My Fears: I don't fear Karma, I fear never living life. I fear missing out on learning lessons that I would need to experience in order to grow. I fear  being comfortable enough to settle. I fear never loving myself to fullest and not reaching my highest potential. I fear never knowing myself. I am learning "don't fear to disappoint others, fear to disappoint yourself" -I said that
Mar 2016 · 18.7k
Transference Feelings
Janielle Green Mar 2016
I can feel that, Stop it
Stop thinking about me so that I can stop thinking about you.
I feel you even when you are far away
Mar 2016 · 405
Venus Fire
Janielle Green Mar 2016
She didn't want to be found, unless he was mystery man
Doesn't give permission to be touch unless he carries blistering hands
O yes he must be experience, give me the history of a man
who flirts with fire and and and dares to love again
a war zone he must enter , fight each enemy of my mind
Save me from myself and paradise he shall find
Give me a prisoner of curiosity
Who remembers everything  left unsaid
killed by my mystery but keeps coming back again
Intellectual to know I am rough, but brave enough to dig deep
and find I have diamonds between my thighs and a heart of red ruby
Give me the world but a place I can loose myself here on after
He who is brave enough to love the beautifully broken, imperfect, a beautiful disaster
Challenge my powers and not afraid to be the man to stand alone
against the wrath of a woman burned by Hell's fury or cries of rainstorms
Push me to the limit, carry me through my fears
Build me to be better and unconditional love is  here
Seek the secrets I conceal, and watch a cover girl reveal
Mars, a flame is sparked. Be a moth burned by the fire
Give me passion, courage, strength and in return be loved by Venus's Fire
All woman are not build with "sugar and spice and everything nice." Some are  built with fire. But it takes a %100 Man of Mars to love and be loved by a Women of Venus. #Venus in Aries
Feb 2016 · 611
Invisible Scars
Janielle Green Feb 2016
I ran my hands across the large gruesome scar he had stretch across his back. Out of his entire muscular built body I massage, That healed **** was what I remember best. You see, I massage number of bodies and I pick up people's pain pretty well through my experience and profession. and through that scar, I can tell he's been through life's hard lessons. Throughout the massage, I could sense the attraction. By the way I rub through his body he was having intense reactions. I slide my hands towards the back of neck,  his hands slid up my arms and put my hands on his chest. And for a moment, I felt I was holding him, For a minute, I felt I belong to him. And before I knew it, I was close to him and each  second, I wanted him. Before it could go any further, I stop him and said to him:

I have to be honest, I do want you
The times that we shared secret eye contact before, I already wanted you
But before we go any further, I have to do this
I signal him to lay on his belly and gave that rememberable scar a passionate kiss
As he turned toward me while laying on the table I said:

If you can't tell what I am doing
I'm kissing the memory of your past that probably was ruined
Not only am I kissing this scar but part of your soul that was broken apart
I'm giving you what I desperately need, I brought his hands to my heart
And said
But we can't go any further, if you can't kiss back these invisible scars

Kiss them with every intention to heal them like over time yours had healed
Hold me, protect me and give me the feeling of being safe, help me allow me to feel. give me a reason to tell you what I been through, Than make love to me passionately, I want to know how it feels to cry in front of another and spiritually connect to it's full capacity
But if you can't do that for me
Show me I am good enough to love by ending this now
Let go of lust if you here are to play with me and  just mess around
Prove to me you accept me, by letting me go and leave out of this building without hurting my soul
Give me the opportunity to give you boundaries and trust again, Promise me that out of this I can make a new friend.
**** my loneliness with your company
Bury my pain with your gradual love for me
And In return, I will give you it back with a %100 pure heart
But whatever you do, If you touch me like that again have every intentions to heal my invisible scars
It's now released and now I can let go of the fantasy.Happy Valentines day superman
Jan 2016 · 2.2k
WILD CHILD
Janielle Green Jan 2016
Have you ever watched a wild horse’s rage when they try to tame it in? Or ever watched a wild leopard fight back, when they Try to steal it’s skin? Have you ever watched a lion’s fierce roar, when they try to cage it in? Like the wild, leave me.wild child.

My love flow like  rivers, It comes deep as the seas. My emotions can be contagiously calming but can change like the ties of a raging sea. I don't know where I am going, but I know where I been, I desire to live like the wild, I rebell when cage in. Living to be free, Independent spirit of a loner wolf. Jane to Tarzan? yea... I would live like them if I could. Wishes to be unconstrained by society.  How could I be put in a box. When you have courage like a lion an strength of an ox. Can not be compared to a thing, or an ordinary human being. Gypsy by heart, obsession for freedom, born bohemian Queen. Though control over others can be a blessing, more of a curse. When flesh and ego bound by unresolved past, turns me into the worse. But my awareness of it all, picks me up from the fall. and leads me back to soul, when I hear divinity call.  Ancestors guide me,Truth in the stars. Moon child in chart. Pisces in sun. scorpio by ascendant, Venus ram thrives, I see God in the sun. My soul is undefined, Old fashioned and style. Mind me like nature and love me like the wild.

Have you ever watched a wild horse’s rage when they try to tame it in? Or ever watched a wild leopard fight back, when they Try to steal it’s skin? Have you ever watched a lion’s fierce roar, when they try to cage it in? Like the wild, leave me.wild child.
Jan 2016 · 813
Black Widows Game
Janielle Green Jan 2016
She ***** the sweetness of lust like taste of  blood. Death hold grips can describes her hugs. They fall into a web, like the ones who finder. And now there all are hers, the Black Widow Spider. lured in the dark of her legs, sleek and black. Disregard the warning sign, Red  hidden  down the curve of  her back. Fall into her into her mesmerize trap, Queen of seducers. lust at first sight waiting to turn hearts into stone like medusa. Dangerously 50 shades of black, which side of her they want? Games on your weakness, Russian Roulettes gun. Blindsided by her deceit, tangled in webs of her power. And now she feeds on their thoughts, like a brain ******* vampire. The beauty of her web, is persuasion of her femininity. Her birth is to gain your soul and her winning is her fertility. Because she will feed their starvation of love, and innocently build their esteem with everything she can think of. Create  *** beyond their wildest fantasies. Drive them wild, begging for another hit down on their knees. Thriving off the lost of emotions, dominating  feelings with full control. Then will leave them hanging when the festivities get all old. But the ones she scared will never understand. That the cuts from their abuser was caused by past life of a sexually abusive man. Is the price they pay worth their time?In the end to be hurt by a beautifully seductive mind. To be caught in the webs of a warm, wet place and lose a hold. Of Reality that this girl is pure selfish, untrustworthy and devilishly cold. foolishly loosing themselves in her body, While she’s alive for the fun but in reality is unattached with her body,a defense for untouchable, if they would only listen to whispers in the night, her body sings. To cope with her pain, A deaf man chooses not to hear this melody. The itsy bitsy spider, went  up the waterspout, Down came her fangs and dried, his lonely heart out.  Out comes the sun and hides her heart of pain, so the itsy bitsy spider waits to eats another one again. Black Widows Game

— The End —