i barely knew
your name

but the way
you moved
and
sang along
with me

on this bench
in the rhythm
of the music

immediately
made me
like you

you just pulled
me onto this bench
and
made me dance
with you

and with time
and lack of space
we got closer


we got so close
that i had to
hold you
by the waist
so you wouldn't
fall off

caught between
being jealous
and
the wish of
seeing you happy

remember when
you nearly fell
off the bench
because someone
pushed you?

remember how
i slang an arm
around your waist
so you wouldn't fall?

remember how
you stared into my eyes
smiled and thanked me?


well,
in that moment
i'd have loved
to kiss you
but instead
i just
smiled back
and continued
to dance
with you

as much as i
loved dancing
with you

i also loved
the talk
on the bench
by the lake
and
the talk
in this little bar
when everyone else
was already
asleep

so much happened
in that night
i don't know
where to start
or what to feel

the way
my arm rested
on your shoulders

the way
you looked
at me

and the way
we talked
about everything

could have made
one believe
we are close friends
maybe even more


but we were
just two drunken
looking for closeness
secureness and
a friend in the night
when
everyone else
was already
asleep

my fingers
are dancing
over the keys
playing songs
on their own

while
my thoughts
are
with you

why
do you start
a conversation
when
you don't
finish it?

i hope
to have
moved on

because
what is
the point
is
holding onto
one-sided
feelings?

laying in bed
listening
to this song

i had to
admit to
myself
that

no matter
how cliché
it may sound

i would wait
for him

i would
give him
the world

if he would
just show me
that

there is
just the
slightest chance
that
in the future
he would want
to be with me

i should
move on
i kinda
already have

but there
seems to be
a tiny part
hidden
in my heart
that belongs
to him

you just
                   show interest
in me
        when
you are
        lonely

   don't you?

i recognized how
you stared at me
while
i wasn't
looking at you

i also recognized
the smile on your lips
while
looking at me

and you have
no idea
how happy
you made me
because of
that gaze
and
that smile

you told me
that you
hate to be
left on 'read'

and yet
you do
the exact
same thing

lately
girls are
more attractive
to me

because
no boy
can come close
to him

and whilst
she was
just a crush

he is
the first
i was really
in love with


and maybe
i still am

when
no song
seems to
feel right

the song
that makes me
think of you

,your song,
always feels
like home

in the
last weeks
you didn't
cross my mind
even once

but today
i can't
get you out
of my head

i am
losing sleep
because
i rather
dream of you

i'd like
to think
that
i am
on your mind
too

but i'd
just be
fooling
myself

do you
tell
the stars
and moon
about me
too?

i keep
falling
alone

why
do i keep
thinking
about you?

why
do i keep
imagining
the impossible?

why
do i keep
wanting
you?

why
do i keep
hurting myself
with
false hope?

i fell
in love
with
imaginations
instead
of falling
in love
with you

when i am
lost in thoughts
and
look up
to the moon

it almost feels
as if they say

"everything
is going to be
alright."

amnesia
is an overthinkers
biggest enemy

and it strikes
when everyone else
is asleep

so that
the overthinkers
are left alone
with their thoughts
their favorite songs
with a pen and paper
and 26 letters

what are
two drunken
laughing and
making nonsense
whilst
wearing sneakers
and walking
in the snow
around a lake
without
the lamps shining
and cold wind howling?

well,
definitely not
a good idea

but did
this night
make great memories?

definitely

now we aren't
'just two drunken
looking for closeness
secureness and
a friend in the night
when
everyone else
was already asleep'
anymore

now
we are
more like
acquaintances

on the best way
to become
friends

even if
they were
meant with
good intentions

the choice
of words
could not
have been
more painful


as the words
burned into
my brain

why do i
always start
to care
for people
i barely know

when they
probably don't
care about me

so many
words
and
thoughts
are flying
around
in my mind

i am not able
to make sense
of them

i am not
desperately
searching a lover

but i can't deny
that i am
craving for love

the moon
slowly retreats
while
the sun
goes into
the offensive

the quiet
screeches
of an owl
become
the lively chirping
of blackbirds

and the
darkness is
driven away
by the
warm morning light

We’re lying on grass
stars above us

but I am
gazing
into your eyes

one click,
not even
on purpose
and then –

nothing

my thoughts
my pain
my love –
gone

and some may
see this
at a fresh start
but I

I hold onto
the past
too much

do you know that feeling?

the feeling where your throat aches
because it is tightening?

the feeling where your neck hurts
because you start to stiffen?

the feeling where you can't speak
because your throat's to dry and tight?

the feeling where your eyes burn
because you hold back your tears?


don't do that to youself.
don't hold back your emotions.

you're allowed to cry.
you're allowed to feel emotions.

because what makes us human
are feelings and weaknesses.
don't let society turn you into a robot.

feel everything.
the pain, the happiness, really everything.

and then do your thing.
no matter what "your thing" is.
do it.
stronger, than ever before.

i am
happy for you
don't get me wrong

but honestly

i am
a bit jealous

because i want
somebody
to feel about me
the way
he does about you

sometimes
what I dream
comes true

but tell me,
will the dreams
of you
too?