i tried to
memorize everything
about you
not knowing when
i would see you
again

but

the only thing
i remember
is the look
in your green eyes

no clouds
cover
the sky

and
warm sunrays
hit my skin

makig it
tingle
with warmth

i like
seeing you
happy

i really do;
it makes you
even more
beautiful

but i wish
it was me
instead
of him

who is
the reason
of your happiness

a part
of me
is sick of
comparing
myself
with all the girls
in  my environment
and on
social media

and the
other part
of me
just can't stop
pulling myself
down

when
i feel lonely
i look up
at the moon
knowing
that she looks
at me too

i feel like
your eyes
say more
than
thousand words

and they
tell more
than
you say

i want to know
who you are

are you really
this badass
with a
softie hidden inside?

or are you
a softie
with a
badass hidden inside?

she is
restless

always
searching for
something

and out of
the nowhere
my stomach tingles
when i
think about you

amnesia
is an overthinkers
biggest enemy

and it strikes
when everyone else
is asleep

so that
the overthinkers
are left alone
with their thoughts
their favorite songs
with a pen and paper
and 26 letters

i would give him
the moon and the stars,
even the sun too

i would move
the mountains away
and the sea closer

i would ****
the ones who hurt him
and revive
the ones he lost

i would change
the order of the alphabet
and color
my world black and white

i would give him
everything,
if he would just give
us a chance

she is
in love
with

places
she has
never seen

and
people
she has
never met

The asphalt
underneath me
glistens from
the rain

The rain
splashes
my uncovered
thighs and arms

And the
fresh air
makes me
feel alive

in my head
i know what to say

but then
i sit next to you
or
look into your eyes

and the words
won't come out
of my mouth.

i'm speechless.

do you even recognize me,
wearing jeans instead of a dress
because originally I didn't want to impress

or is she all you see?

she acted
like everything
was fine
when she
clearly wasn’t

true villains
don't exist
and
neither do
true heroes

in someone's book
you are
a villain
in another's book
you are
a hero

you see,
it just
depends
on who
the storyteller is

“everyone gets forgotten eventually.
there is nothing
we can do
to prevent that.”

I know she’s right.
but I am still scared
of oblivion

i thought
i knew
who i am

but lately
everything
seems to be
wrong

is it just me
or does
everything at night
seem more intensive?

the music
hits your feelings
way harder

the thoughts
scream louder
in your head

the world
is almost
completely silent


the world
seems just so
much purer

already
a bit drunken
i found you

and with
your green eyes
your honest smile
combined with
the small distance
between us
and your smell

you intoxicated me
even more

honestly
i always took
it for granted
that
our friendship
is that
amazing & strong

but with
this pandemic
i realized
how lucky
i really am

i saw you
for a split second

and i smiled
like an idiot

i was
playing
with fire

i let
tiny flames
dance

and they grew
with time

burning me
just a little bit

but i
managed
to juggle
them

My hands
start to
sweat

My body
starts to
shake

My stomach
starts to
rotate

My heart
starts to
fight with
my head

As I am
overthinking
once again

today
the moon
kept me company
even whilst
the sun
was there

but maybe
she wanted
to catch more
than
just a glance
of him

your best friend
told me

you are
really shy

but then why
are you
so open
with me?

you barely
even know
me

are monsters born?
or are monsters made?

lately
familiar love
is not enough
anymore

lately
i want to
experience
a love
where i can
feel even more alive

oh papa
please
forgive me

for the
cigarettes
i secretly
smoked
with friends
under bridges

oh mama
please
forgive me

for the
alcohol
i drank
when you
told me
not to


oh please
forgive me
for being
a teenager

making
poor decisions
but
good memories

I miss something
that doesn’t
even exist

i know
that we
never were
together

but you
still broke
my heart

Isn’t it crazy
how many stars
don’t exist anymore
yet their light
still shines upon us?

I would like to be
like a star;
I want my good impact
to be remembered,
to be seen
a hundred years
From now

I want to make
the world
a better place

i am not
desperately
searching a lover

but i can't deny
that i am
craving for love

if I'd lose everything
if I had nothing to give;

I would still ask
for your help

when
will my heart
understand
that i am not
living in a book?

that when
i fall
for someone
in a relationship
or
for someone
i can't have

that there isn't
the slightest chance
i end up
with them


when
will my heart learn?

what if
we fall
in love
because

we'll never be
able to
love ourselves
one hundred percent?

what if
we fall
in love
because

we unconsciously
need constant
reminders
how worthy
we are
of love?