Jade is very lucky man
a man people treat with value
a man people will **** for
A man people cherish
A man with everyhtig anyone could wish for,
A man of value, life, happiness.
A man people will do anything to get
Jade is a very unlucky man
A man with no life.
A man of no understanding of life
a simple stone
a man that has no experience of life
A proud man who just waits for people to fight for it
A man who indirectly kills
A man with no thoughts or imagination for he is treated like a god
Jade is created by humans, nourished by humans and destroyed by human
What an unlucky man jade is
However, jade has a very undemanding life
he does not have to obey any human being
it is not obliged to any human
free, easy and peaceful.
Jade is a man that is lucky
Jade is a man that is unlucky
Jade is a man with an undemanding life
because it has no breathe like that of a man

LOOK look!
It's not like I like you,
I feel moved when I see you.
Maybe it's because you're cute.....
But it's cool cause I don't have any intentions of getting close to you.
We are not meant to be so I'll just take my leave.
Our path in this world is different.
That's just how it's meant to be.
Even though you didn't pay me no mind, I acted like I didn't feel down.
I cried but not when you were there.
It felt good acting perfectly fine around you thinking your feelings will one day change.
It hurts that you are happy without me even though I crave for your attention badly.
I envy the way you are happy without me...
I try to be unresisting .
Ha....
You passed me by and gave me chills but you didn't feel anything.
I feel so bad for my foolish heart that won't wish you the best because I don't want to let you go.
Again.....
It's not like I like you.
I'm just moved by your groove....

Shut up and listen.
I am writing in this dark place where I can barely see and I just wanted  to tell you that I miss you and I still love you. Not to sound cheesy but I still care about you. I am so sorry  for leaving you. I... I could have just stayed and taken the risk.. But... all I was thinking about was myself and not how you will feel. I am sorry. You may hate me soo much. I spite because you despise me. I will endure this unbearable punishment I bestowed upon myself.  I just wanted to say I love you. I can do everyday without you but it is painful and tiring. I can't seem to fathom myself not thinking about you. I might not seem like that anytime I see you. Still.... Don't judge a book by it's cover. I love you....

Why lie to me?
Instead of crying to me,
and saying that you was not right to me?
Don't think you can just buy me,
I ain't no chicken you can't just fry me.
I can't be manipulated except by God.
you see,
You were not my everything, you were just a part of me
Now I let you go because you weren't rhyming with my beat.
You were on another different flow, You weren't on my team.
Well, you thought you was "the GOAT" But you were just another boy that lost that girl that gave you so much love.
But, you gonna know what you lost when your friend are crying on the low.
They couldn't get me when I was once your own
Now that I left you, they out here creeping on the low.
Saying that they love me and I'm there only hope.
You should also use this opportunity to figure out who's the real bro...
or the one that will go behind your back to get your ex that they once called a ***.

"YOU HAVE A B-" she yelled, "AFTER ALL MY EFFORT?"
"I tried my best"  I exclaimed,"  I PUT EFFORT TOO."
"NO YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT IS HARD TO FAIL A GOOD STUDENT." she said increasing the rate of my heart beat as each words escaped from her mouth.
"SO MY BEST IF FAILING TO YOU?" I questioned her inferred theory
"NO, CAUSE THIS IS NOT YOUR BEST. ALL A's, THAT IS YOUR BEST. THIS... THIS.." she paused and took a deep breathe, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS. YOU BETTER FIX IT. YOU MUST  MAKE IT BETTER.  MAKE IT MORE THAN YOUR BEST
MAKE IT GOOD ENOUGH."
"HOW!?" my voice could hardly escape from my throat.
"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T CARE. JUST BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.... MAKE ME PROUD, MAKE ME HAPPY, MAKE ME SMILE."
I'm trying..
I'm trying.

I bet that if I asked you if you know me, you'd say yes
But really, I'm the only one that knows me the best
You think you do because of the way I act around you,
but truly, you are just being fooled.
That was my intention anyways
I am happy that it became true.
There are so many fake people and I won't let them get to me through you.
One thing that is true is that my heart is precious...
I don't know about you boo...

Never fall in love with a stranger,
You never know what lies deeper,
Their heart might have a different intention.
The intention to make you feel eager
to explore the evil of the world,
and lead youself into danger,
they will cast  you when you are deeply in love with them,
and tell you, "we are just strangers"
"What do you mean we are just strangers?"
you will wonder.
Your heart sink into pain because of those four words,
that changed your world,
you realize your mistakes,
and your evil ways,
you feel so sober and plain,
but he is not there say,
"Don't worry, you can lean on me,"
or all those things that made him sound meek,
You feel so lonely,
like you didn't have a life before.
To heal your broken bond,
you made another one,
with a common stranger,
you played with his heart,
and made him fall for you,
you made him miserable after he asked,
"What are we?" and you replied,
"We are just strangers."

Rage kills,
sometimes, it might heal,
Rage might help you,
Rage might destroy you,
Rage has a choice to make,
A side to stay on for a day,
Whether me in January or you in may,
It will always find it's way,
back to me,
back to my heart,
slowly killing me,
slowly healing me,
slowly relieving me,
slowly grieving me,
My blood flows extremely fast,
my heart is about to blast,
the feeling rage can give you,
is a feeling that can **** you,
At the end, it will leave you stranded,
stranded with an enchantment,
An enchantment to have....
NoThInG

I write her
She is poetry
I read her
She is poetry
Sometimes, I don't understand her
She is poetry
I see her
There is something about her
It's hidden but seen
There is something about her
shattered mirrors put together
It's hard to see through the crack
But I can see the crack itself
Who is she?
I don't know
Who will she become?
I don't know
All I know is that she is poetry and poetry is made by God

you, me
As the sunrises, as the sunsets,
sitting on the grass,
sharing our past present and future
opening up to each other and one day hoping
just hoping that we will meet each other twelve months from now with upgrade and happiness in our heart.
Just hoping.
Just hoping that we will be everyone's model
the relationship, the love, the trust,
the happiness and the little lust.
That we will still share that.
As time passes by and our body becomes ambiguous and wants to try something new,
Just hoping that we will stay together.
Just hoping
I mean.... at least we hoped.
I hoped.

All that sweet talk, For a second, it felt really good. The love and the pleasure that you preserved for me. When I stepped into your house and we touched each other with our bare skin, it felt really good, really honest, really true. For a second, I actually fell in love. I opened my eyes and traced my hands on your jawline as we kissed.
God took his time making you
you are so handsome. smooth skin and all.
d a m n
my hormones started to act up when I had something like that in my possession. It's not like we actually liked each other, we just  wanted the pleasure. After the pleasure, I did not feel the same.
the moment was like a song on repeat
I could not get it out of my head. I text you to know your perspective. Then you act like nothing happened. You've gotten what you want and now I'm nothing but trash. Ignoring me like I was bothering you. I mean we weren't meant to be together.
I guess it was just me.
I wanted something more.
Someone to have more than one night or two days or a week with. I wanted months, years.
I wanted forever.

A clean black page with lines and a margin is the most encouraging thing you can see to help explore part of the world's knowledge. Giving you the freedom to express your words not through speaking , but through writing. Even though people won't understand how you feel, the paper will. it has no choice. It will submit to you. The paper will take it as an opportunity, "So many could have written on me, but you did." A great privilege to embody and share someone's pain. You brought to life with the words you wrote on it. Each single letter formulated into words that led to sentences and developed a meaning. a pencil, A paper And it's master. They will do great things to people. Add knowledge, or corrupt the mind. Its up to the master. However, those three will change lives.

I am such an open book
I am the same around humans
in church, in school, even in the hospital
I never change how I express myself
Because I am an open book, people take this an opportunity to ignore and obstruct themselves from the the deep and mysterious me.
They never want to go near the boundaries that separates and defines the real me.
Immediately they see the open book, they are satisfied
And then they mistake me as someone with a good life
little do you know about what I face in the dark
The place where trouble of peace lies.
It is so peaceful that I am so troubled
I break into tears because I know something is wrong
Is this a dream or something worse
I know something worse than a dream.....
                       Reality
I have to go back there and be the open book that is easy to read
The smart girl who always whines and argue
I don't want to go back to that
I just want to stay like this,
as that girl who always think and meditates about deep things.
But I have to return to my daily duty
the role I am good at being a rook.
being an open book.

Okay..
Fine..
I'll admit it...
I made so many rules.
But when you came into my life,
they became choices.
I said I wasn't  going to fall in love with anyone,
but I drastically fell for you.
You didn't fall with me.
However, your attention softened me.
Every time you gave me absolute attention,
I felt tension build in my chest
tension became affection,
affection grew and became stronger,
breaking the wall of rules that I built to prevent people like you.
Now I gave you a choice to follow those rules that I made.
I still don't know if you fell for me.
Even though I prayed for a barricade,
my heart has become like silk;
soft and smooth accepting your love that will soon fade.
But you are so beautiful,
An imperfect creature that has been blessed with the hands of God.
You broke my rules,
But I know you won't want to see me ruin,
Because your intentions are not that cruel.

Scars keep appearing from nowhere.
They keep forming on my legs,
slowly creeping through my veins,
going to my arms.
I don't know who left these scars,
but I think it came from the love  I had for you
well.. I still have the love
After all the embarrassment and disgust you showed me,
I still loved you.
That is what makes me scarred.
After I confessed to you,
you made me into a tool
thinking I was just a fool
that was easy to control and can be misused.
After this abuse, I decide to change my rules
and not be attached to you.
I lured everyone into thinking I was over you,
but I concealed my love that lingered in my heart waiting for you.
I wanted you respond to this quiet call that I have silenced so well.
you keep making me confused by acting like you know me so well.
I have always wondered if you love me or not.
Because your feelings are never abrupt
please.... I beg in secrecy...
Can you please tell me if you love me?
Even though you have always found my love funny
After writing this poem, I sighed and I almost cried.
I just remembered you telling me you loved one of my friend.
Even though I acted like I didn't care.
My heart aches and another scar is made.
Not in my leg or my hand this time,
But right here in my heart.

I am a robot
I do exactly what I'm told
I am a person that is owned
not by law or nature
but by a woman who has rules of her own
She tells me what to do and I obey.
She makes me cry and leaves me in dismay.
I can;t do anything because her wish is my command
I have to as she says
Most times, I'm always in pain
But she can alter me and make me feel grace
I feel like I owe her something in this phase
In order to feel less pain, I must pay
A price has to be made
It's a lot of chain I cannot break
Like a dog being tamed because of a chain
She kills my inner soul
my whole body, from head to toe
My life, my goal... she makes me feel like I am a waste zone
Break me, make me, chain me
I can't do anything unless I'm told
Because I am a robot that she owns

Yeah…
I might not be old
But my knowledge is really gold
Blessed by the future
Cursed by the past
My experience has become a lesson that will shape my present and present my future
…………….
I don't know
Do I really want this?
From experience I shouldn't
But isn't life all about taking risks?
That what I'm doing
Creating new opportunities
Overcoming the fear of unknown
Shaping an unknown destiny with one act, one decision, one question
Am I really sure?
Do I really wanna do this?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth my time and my future?
Is it worth my life, my fame and everything I will ever possess?
From experience it shouldn’t
But isn’t life all about taking risks?
and that's what I'm doing.
Wasting my time of something that I'm not really sure will lead me to my prime
Is it worth a quarter, a penny, a nickel, a dime?
Am I sure it is worth my life?
Do I really wanna be part of this pantomime?
From experience, it shouldn’t
But isn’t life all about taking risks
And that’s what I’m doing
Am I really sure this life is worth my time?

How fast do human beings change?
as fast as the speed of sound?
How fast do human beings change?
as fast as the travel of sound's range?
My journey of life so far,
makes me feel scared
the fear that I might one day become something I despair.
It is very deceitful because you do not know when you are changing
as fast as the wind, as smooth as the waves,
you become a different person just in one day
Later on you look at yourself and say,
"This is not the girl I was in may"
Your pictures might look the same,
but the people in the picture changed.
I would have been glad if it was in a positive way,
but you changed like the day
casting the sun away,
because the moon awaits,
Chasing the diligence in you,
bringing in disregard for the things you care for.
It's okay, I'll wait
I just want you to be the same
person you were in May

I silenced my curiosity to please the deaf that my misunderstanding goes deeper than it looks. They say when you lose one sense, the other becomes stronger. Why can’t your eyes see through me, to my pain and realize that my curiosity was not in vain.

It's not me who said we weren't in love, it was you.
It's not me who said we won't make a good connection, It was you.
It's not me who said we are frenemies, It was you.
It's not me who said we couldn't go out. It was you.
It's not me who said you were ugly, it was you.
It's not me who said you were useless, It was you.
It's not me who said she loves you more than anyone could, it was you.
it was not me that called me thick, It was you.
It wasn't me that acted like we shouldn't be seen together, it was you.
It's not me who switched up and acted different when she came around, It was you.
it's not me who said I didn't love you.... my love, it was them... and you
it's not me that said we should not hug, it was you
It's not me who decided to touch your hair, it was you who asked me to do so.
its not me who kept holding my waist with a firm grip after I hugged you, it was you.
It's not me who decided that you should run your hands through my face so tenderly leaving me startled because of your alleviated touch.... it was you.
it's not me who made a decision that hurt me... its you.
It's not me that came to a conclusion to make myself cry at night, it's you.
My love.... why go against your word just to make me feel hurt
then later, you blame me because you feel mortified and in pain.
I didn't leave you in total tranquility with misery and agony.....
My heart and love.... it is not me.... it"s you

I know how you feel.
The rage rushing through your veins.
Not knowing who to blame.
Not knowing who to call on.
Not knowing what to feel, how to react.
The only thing you think of is, "To be or not to be"

This device in which they call, "phone," has now become a source of sadness every time I set my eyes on it and the first word that my eyes encounter is "Mummy"
red
green
cut
pick
Which one should I do?
I am stuck in the world between those two
The green might bring joy or pain, for her voice most of time times makes me feel disdain
Pick: my grades. Distraction, I face
That's all she ever says
and whenever any good words come out of her mouth, they don't last long because they come with warning reminding me that I can be foolish most of the times
Red I pick, punishment I feel. Pain, I'm inflicted
I guess she is my supreme being
Never will she admit that from her mouth, but when I cut the call, I remember that she made love and I was the result so if not for her, I would not be in this world.

But then ... I'm stuck in the world between those two.
No red
No green
No cut
No pick
I just let it ring and dance to the rhythm.

forget me, forget everything I said to you. Imagine they where all truthful lies that I spoke from my heart. Turn your back on me. Pass by me like a complete stranger,  like I don't exists. I will smile when you do this because you have made it easier for me to forget about you and all the things that made you YOU.

Should have, would have, could have
I'm tired of being the only one trying
Can you for once put in some effort
I'm tired of being the only one giving love
Can you give some love too?
I'm tired of being the only one who cares
Can you care too?
You know... It take two people to have a relationship

One time, we were just talking
Then I asked him, “do you like poetry?”
He said “no, not really”
That’s when I knew
That’s when I knew that we were not right for each other
If I live poetry
And I breathe poetry
If I speak poetry
And I eat poetry
If I dance poetry
And I sing poetry
If I sleep with poetry
And I wake up with poetry
If poetry was my peace
And one of the gift God gave me,
Then who are you to be with me and not love poetry
For I make poetry
And poetry makes me
If you don’t like poetry
You don’t like me

I like this me better
The me who doesn't know how to act
Whether to act too old but look too young
I have no idea
It's very painful but i still like it
especially when the are yelling,
"what is with your dressing?"
but also saying,
"use your senses, you know more than this"
I'm obliged to act older but not look older
I think it is my fault I grew up quickly
Too quickly
Or maybe my surroundings were too mature for me.
I don't know who to be

Here lies the story of the most bombed human even though she never took drug or failed a test
The most ugly chick you will ever see among chicks that are  in a farm
People always said embrace your beauty
How about we change the line that sound like "you are such a cutey"
To embrace your body that was designed to be ugly
Embrace your face that was supposed to serve as courage
But instead, makes you feel like garbage.
You can't change you
Plastic surgery can, but it is just going to destroy a work of nature that you embody.
Embrace you, embrace yourself.

As soon as he spoke, I felt uneasy.
For his words were enough to give me distress and his presence, I dread.
Or maybe I was just insane and fear has played an illusion in my mind.
When his presence was known to a crowd, they admired his beauty.
Every word that escaped from his mouth were like those of Athena - filled with wisdom and knowledge
Meanwhile I was Llyr around him and the crowd. I made sure my presence to the crowd was obscure
Or maybe I'm Insane. I must be queer in the head to possibly think I had the power to do that
He was too substantial to not notice me.
I stood out... I think
It might be because the world revolves around me... I think
It's going to take the woman in me to conquer this insanity.... I Know

Today is the best day. I wrote my whole heart out and it erased all by itself. The pain. The pain.
"On this day, September 20, 2018, she suffered."

One room
Two people
Different perception
Similar conclusion
One with instincts of love
The other filled with devoid, imagination and few disbelief.
But...
At the end, they all have a similar conclusion: Love's Gonna Get You Killed...

Change
Change is
Change is constant
Change is the constant feeling that something is going to tweak and one day you will become the person that is weak
Or a person that is strong
One that stand up for what is right
or what is wrong
You can become the hottest freshmen in tech
or the coolest senior in arts
but the change that made you like that
is what made you who you are
Change is like hot summer, you love it but sometimes it can cause fire
You see, when fire burns you
it has a final result
and what is done takes forever to be undone
If life happened and I changed
life wont happen again for us to go back to our old ways
I know I changed
but like I said
Change
Change is
Change is constant
Change is a constant that something is going to tweak and one day you will never be the person you always wanted to be.