the smell of mint fills the air
brother is here
been gone for a year
mother is crying
hugs are shared

kids opening gifts
smiling
the sound of they're laughter is bliss
as mother gives the youngest a little kiss

sitting around the fire
were all together
with the smell of mint
cold and sweet in the air

i'm tired of all you brainless
heartless cowards
yeah you hid behind curtain
because your never certain
you'll get away with  it

but you got no power
i've seen more strength
in a ******* a flower
so hide behind your curtain

because i'll  run the show

yes i'm sorry
all I wanted was to fix you
to fix you
but now your more broken then before
I just I wanted was for you to last longer
and be a little stronger
but I failed
I failed
but I will fail you no more
for your porcelain skin is to cracked
and your dress isn't even intact
and when I step back
and place you back on the shelf
I think of all that we've dealt with
and this toymaker
sad as i may be
have put you  away
i'm sorry
my black haired porcelain beauty

she had a chance to make us sane
to bad little sally ran away
but its ok
its ok

its not like our minds are falling a
                                                              p
                                                         a
                                                                   r
                                                           t
the longer and longer
the doctors make us stare at the
c h a r t
but were smart
the only problem
is that we don't know where to start

we wait for sally
to make us sane
to bad little sally
has ran away

our rooms are soft
sally said like clouds
padded softly
for when the voices get loud

little sally
why so blue?
miss sally
what did we do to you

she had we chance to make us sane
to bad miss sally
has ran away

Do I need you to survive?
yes!
Is that a lie?
no!
Put your love to the test
Can you survive longer than the rest?
Oh its such a mess!
But, hey!
maybe it'll be all
ok
maybe you really deserve to
stay

hey doll,
wanna play?

"thats all you had to say"

this is what i do
i sit down
away from my happy persona
and yell out my depression?
no its not
its more of a therapy session
a way a part of me can finally feel acceptance 
and show what we think
show what we are

I know its wrong
I don't want to do it
break the end of a pencil
nice and sharp
looks like i'm back at the end
where to start?

late night
again with this vibe
and feel the inner tension rise
my own demise
written in the sands of time
of what we were
lets go back
journey through guilt
its almost as if i feel a tilt
maybe acknowledge what i did
but you forgave you say
but i'll never forgive
so now my mirrors covered
and here i lay
thinking
its late night
i deserve to feel this vibe

huh?
oh its you
well welcome back i guess
i see that your actually willing to put my sanity to the test
well before you start
you should know this job will be a whole mess
my name?
well you just get straight to it!
call me
what you think i am
however you would wish to personify me
sit down over on that chair
its understandable if your scared
but you must be built for this stuff aren't you?
not many people can walk into a psychopath room,
i mean from what i assume
well don't just sit there!
show me a chart
or
ask us a question
oh? i'm sorry i meant me
ask me a question
or leave to my padded cell
because unless your going to help
might as well let the voices drag me down to hell

wipe your teary eyes
theres no use crying
just keep smiling
do what your told
because this routine
is getting old
my heart I sold
as I watch this unfold

you loved me in spite of me
and now I can't breath
I wish I was high
to get rid of this low
I'm broken
don't you know
tear me apart
give me away
darling I really cannot stay
sorry

I'm sorry
in the masquerade
it was my heart that was played
time to make my not so grand exit
I'm just "Miss codependent"

your filthy
you reek of  individuality
how dare you be such a mess
don't worry society can fix
after all they fixed all the other kids

with there blank stares
they confom
because now they don't care

now run along to the washing machine
and clean yourself up

but i don't want to go in the machine
its an hour
of turning and turning
over agian
till your rid of all stench

years later
i miss your mess
i miss the stench
and now i'm alone
once more
now your a shiny mirror
you only mimick
you conform

conformity is the biggest diseases  we face. it can **** an individual and only leave a husk

whats the point of love
to give yourself to someone?
in hopes to have them back?
to give them everything?

tell me, you people getting paid to do this?

you thought when i opened up i was fearful
i was
not because I don't want to get hurt
but because I didn't want to hurt you

but now your locked in.

lets get this straight
to be fine
is to be be ok
to be ok
is to not be upset
or sad
or mad
but to be just ok
its to be in a satisfying mood

when you and i say
we are fine
we are spitting on the dictionary
we are getting rid of what that word means
what its supposed to mean

when you hear us say
we are fine
you will see us crying
slowly dying
and just trying
to hold on

but were letting go
but we hide behind the word fine
well, we did
but now you know

to be honset
to be fine
is to be to lost in denial
to want to let you acknowledge the pain

love is a wonderful thing
it fills our hearts
with a feeling
a warm feeling
cant even describe it...

ha!

well on second thought, lets give this another go

love is terrifying
its something many people fail to show
it drives you to do things
irrational things
it can tear us all apart
oh-and it has!
sometimes love is just so sweet
other times its bitter and ****

you must know in order to love someone truly
you must be able to give yourself up to them
and thats hard
because us humans
are selfish
but to the few that do
give themselves up
does your partner do the same?
if not
do you feel that your the one to blame?
for those who don't-
who wont
give themselves up for their
significant other
do you feel guilty?
really think about it


it will make you become at war with yourself
for not being enough for that person
that you love
and you will try so hard to make them happy!

well lets see, raise of hands!

how many of you have you failed to love properly?

Im melting across a page
Every word dramatic
As if presented on a stage
And i wish i could say it didn't hurt
Wish i could say it was painless 
Not at all hesitant 
That the ink didnt bleed
Every second a new scene
Now all i can muster
All i can scream
I thought we were supposed to be a team
I thought it was us against the world
And i know its my own fault
But still, i digress 
I am melting

If I could describe myself then I would be a star
i want to glow up everyones day
I want to shine bright
And I try to put a smile on your face
Oh and  how I try with all my might

I want to be the person that people need
Something they can wish on
I mean thats the only reason why I’m still here
R
I
G
H
T
?


I mean as much as I hate to admit it sometimes
Its hard to be a star
After all
I have to die over and over again
Explode
Die
Again and again
To give you what you want
I must become brand new

But don’t worry , I promise that I
That we
That she
Will still do anything for you

All little girls want toys
The toys
They grow attached to them
But toys break
Toys break to easily

toys are fragile
But girls
Are also fragile
They will cry
And cry

Hoping for someone to care
But no one does
Because its just a toy
But girl she'll cry

She'll say its not fair
And if she cries enough
She'll get a new toy
Or at least thats what she must think

All toys become broken at some point
But theres always glue to fix them
So instead of crying little girl
Fix it

Or your toys will stay broken.

are you fine?
yes of course, don't worry

my fridge is stocked
thats a good thing right?
unless its the same food
for a week, un touched in the slightest

you wont eat
"are you anorexic, my friend?"
"yes" the words flow into me like a million blades in my blood
but i smile and say, i'll help you

you start to eat
your getting better
my best friend is getting better

my friend..."your fat"

i remember saying that to you
all those years ago
i started this

i hear the sound of gagging filling the halls
i run to you there
besides the toilet
face expressionless, eyes cold

how could you?

you lie down, and i remember that its my fault

this is all my fault , right?
yes
i'm sorry
pretty late isn't it?
what do you mean?
i'm already dead

and with that theres a pounding in your head
there tears in your eyes
and you realize
this is all a lie

when i thought you were getting better, it was a way to cope with the fact that you had died
i lied-
to myself
to you

guilt, turns a person mad and forces them into the truth
even if they cant mange to swallow it

I feel sad
for all of us
caught in someones spell
or more accurately  
their curse
we seem to surrounded ourselves with
that person
their are we long for
until
until it hurts
oh the pains unbearable
we took to many doses
took one to many sips
and never thought that kiss
would be the last time we kissed
we seem to have forgotten
too much of a good thing
is a bad thing

stuck in my head
I cant tell if you
love me
or want me dead
doesn't matter, your in my head
your loves so sweet
but your oh so mean
blood on my hands
looking at me
like you don't know who I am
way to drunk to stand
now I'm crashing
but I know I'll land
right back in your hands

Sit on the ground
watch the parade march around
go through the whole town
no one notices
that jugglers are choking
and the little kids are smoking
the balloons are deflating
everything escalating
and its so frustrating
but the pills are sedating

society has drugged some people into the idea that if we have money we will be happy
Turning people into brainless hungry zombie
Never having a enough
Always searching the lowest of wastelands for more

Society has built us into soldiers
Robotic and grey
Gave of us the ability to make choices
But put us on restricted mode
the robots are slowly turning to rust
Yet they march forever more

Society has given a dystopia
Out of a utopia
By making us feel like we have choices
distracting us
Lying  and saying
That everything fine
But the air is ash
And our minds are trash

the modern apocalypse

i know its wrong but
a part of me loved watching your downfall

i'm sorry darling but i seem to be melting
oh?
well lets not forget
your the one that put the pressure
to bring the "heat" as you call it
well we appear to be melting in our own toxicity
well, isn't that a shame darling
we built our own demise
by the ones we tried pushing onto each other
painfully
brutefully
digustingly
but hence not forget
beautifully
lovingly

I don't mind melting darling, really
as long as we do it together

I held out my hand
they took from it

I just wanted it to be held

dearie dearie
please inquiry
what happened to the porcelain doll

dearie dearie
send your best sincerely
for his glass skins been broken since the fall

dearie dearie
please remain cheery
for your toymaker skills are exceeding

but

dearie dearie
please remain weary
for his glass skin
leaks poison

dearie dearie
run as fast as you can
for porcelain doll
is a broken man

Am I really this tired
Or am I uninspired?
Will I try harder?
Work myself into a haze
Just for you to criticize how I spend my days
I want my hands to be rough
Proof of my work
I want my hands to be soft
A woman's touch
But is that to much
I want to dance
But in this world you only get one chance
To be perfect
I'm tired of perfect
Stand up straight, perfect stance
I am not a faucet
Water perfect and straight
I am a river, loud and rough
And I think it's time i focus on my stuff
Because for me
Perfect will never be enough

i've have been deprived of my need for love
and out of room to store the pain
out of people to make me sane
so here i lie
in a shower
of tears
out in the rain
watching whatever was left of me
seep through a sewer drain

Nothing works
Nothing changes
Just the same blank, dead faces
Same tears
Yet more fear
Watch them laugh
Watch them cry
Stuck in a circle
They won’t pry
Let go
hear a simple

“no”

you eat while i'm deprived
i'm numb while you thrive

i'm dead while your alive

they say we all have a story
but mine feels like someone dipped the pages in a gasoline
threw it into a fire
and watched it burn
burn into nothing
but ash

and then burned that too

whats the point of falling
if at the bottom theres no balloons
or pillow to soften then blow

you hurt me

whats the point in falling
if you only end up
hitting the hard concrete floor

spill blood

whats the point of falling
of taking a risk
if you know for a fact
that when you fall
in your finally moments before hitting the ground
no one will catch you

whats the point of loving you?

You want unfiltered emotion
Painful devotion
Kick when I'm on the ground
I'm not allowed to make a sound
You loves possessive
Aggressive
I sacrifice
My humanity
To love you
Undeserving royalty

I missed your voice
I  wanted to say,  I'm sorry
for everything
but its to late
you forgot our song
you've moved on
what did I except
you wobble on your stilts
wonder how that feels
but the question is
you learned to stop
so why can I not?

I wear mask
in this masked town
covered in darkness
ask anyone around
this is no means a dead town
ask around
look in our eyes
you'll see the fear
of what you said you despised
its all one big happy lie
and our tears
fall from your sky
you can't hear us
but were all asking
"why?"
"why?'
"why"