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1.8k · Oct 2018
Pretty Dolly.
Sabrina Oct 2018
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what they called her.
She'd run around in her white gown,
thinking no one could touch her.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd heard.
As all the people around town tried to control her
Didn't even exist, but people could see her
Her non-existent heart wrenched as she watched people around her.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd seen.
Figured she'd put them all out of their misery,
Red splattering her gown,
As they bowed down like she were their queen.
She was the talk of town,
As she ran around
Now that she knew she could only be seen
By those who weren't sane in the brain
How cruel of this world to be so mean
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what they called her.
Her white gown turning brown from the dirt of the world around her
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
Just a ghost of what those who wanted help wanted.
A cruel reality-check,
They were all haunted.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd been seen as
Her ghostly form
She showed no remorse
As she left them in the dirt
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly.
I don't know what this is tbh, figured it had a nice catch to it, so I wrote.
896 · Oct 2018
A Thank You
Sabrina Oct 2018
I wish I had never met you
But at the same time, you taught me things
Don't trust others easy
Don't let them in easy
You left my stomach feeling queasy
Uneasy for a week
Making my heart feel bleak
I kept trying to seek your approval
Your love and your heart
Though you didn't want me anymore
So I just fell apart
You said you loved me from the start
You said it too easily though,
Then took it all back at the end
That's what tore me apart
We'd talk about our future together
Late at night when we should be sleeping
But now I lay awake in my bed at night
Alone and weeping
You were so far away so it's not like I could make you want me
She could give you something I couldn't
I wish I had never met you
But thank you for everything you had taught me.
809 · Jan 2019
?
Sabrina Jan 2019
?
We'll find each other soon, right..?
One day..
We'll look into each others eyes
Hear each others voices
And not feel so lonely anymore
Take my heart
Unknown Lover
531 · Oct 2019
melt
Sabrina Oct 2019
i feel as though,
you have a cold exterior
but i can see it
i can tell
that inside,
breaking through the ice
you are so, so warm
but you'll never notice me, will you?
Sabrina Dec 2018
I b̵̛̺̜̬̖̝͓͘l̸͎̺̯͇̰̈͛̈́͝a̶̞͉̖͊̉m̸̺̰̕̕ẹ̶̡̬̈́͠ͅ you
For tur̸̢̺͕̣̳͕͐͐̓̋̒̒n̵̡̻̳̬̤̄̐̐͋͒̍í̸͚̦̼͜ň̶̠͚͖̲͓̠̊͊̀g̷̠̑ ̶̤̪̙̪͉͗̅͊m̶͔̖̓̄̌́̃̓ę̸̨̩̘͎́͗̚ ̷̪̉̑́ͅi̸̹͖̮̰̐n̸̰̿̉̽ț̷̛͙ơ̴͕͉̟̦̭̂͗͠ ̷̨̬͖͖͍̄t̶͎̠͚̺̻͂͌̕͠ĥ̶̳͕̼͚̖̕i̶̫̿̀͋͝ş̵̭͙̜̓̃̏̓͗́
Cause that happy cheerful girl you knew before,
You killed when you forcefully locked down the door
To the future home she thought she'd share with you
You kept stirring the b̴̝͐̒͊̓r̶͕͉̜̙̆̍̈́́͒͜͝e̷͕̪̼̫͕͇͒̂̅̑̅̚ẅ̷͈̯́
Until the *** o̸̡̝̪̜͔̤͂̎̕͝͝v̷̜̭̀̊͗̾ȩ̶̪̙̻͍̱̒̓̐ŕ̸̡͖̞̐̇͝f̵̮͕̘͙̠̎͗̿ĺ̵̡͖͈͙͔̯̅ö̸́̿­̦̞̖̹͚͎w̸̞̐̀̕ͅĕ̸͚d̴̢̳͚͍̞̀̒̈́̑͋
Because while you're still young,
She's aged enough to be able to tell
***** and sweethearts apart
She's gained the knowledge of someone older
So while you're out there in your self-loathing
She'll be out here
G̷̺̩̱͂́l̷͉͇̳̒͒͜o̸͈̻͙͎͐̉w̶̤̗̅̈́̚ḯ̷̡̛̥͇̬͂̈́͘n̵̢͚͉̿̆͌̕̕g̸̢͕̺̪̤̈̀
But­ don't let that fool you
She's not t̴͉̰̤͉̀́̿͝h̴̲̎̈̑́̚e̴̲̲͙̓̑̊̓̓̕ͅ ̵͉͍̑͊͆͠s̸͍̲̗̊̂̽͜͠ḁ̵̡͇͖̰̾̈́m̵͓͇̖̮͚̠̄͆͊̐e̷̦͐́ ̵̳͎̘̅̔͑g̶̗̞͑͛̊ï̷̥͇͑̇͋r̵͕͕̈́͛̔̾̈̕ļ̶̳̳̟̜͔̉̇
as she was once before
s̸͕͋̒̀ḧ̸͇́̇̽͠ę̸̺͉̀͗̀͠'̴̞̫̟̋̎̉s̸̘̾͂ ̸̩͈̬̦̚g̶̨̛̮̺̅ô̴͇t̷̫̔́̕͜ ̸͔͋ā̷̤̑̓ ̸̖̈ḃ̴̳̳͖͑̑̏ĭ̶̛̯͍̭̍ͅt̶͕͖̠͠͝ ̶̹̪̃͆͐̚ȍ̴͙̖̈́̍͠f̵̺̖͎͛̇ ̸͖̟́͝a̸̟͔͕̤͗̅́͘ ̶̧̘̯͔̒̀ẗ̸̢̳̹́͠ḩ̴̻͉̗͊͒͊i̸͉̾c̴̙̻̔̔͜k̷͓̄͌̔è̸̥̟̓͆͜r̴̙̉ ̴̞͉͆́͐ş̶͙̘̻͂͐ķ̴̠̥̎̕ͅi̶̛̜͐͘n̸̗͚̠̬̑͒̕͝ ̴̲̀͑̂͛n̵̬͒o̷͕̜͊̈́̈̅ẃ̷̢͈͍̭
Ţ̶̭̿̈́h̴̭̗̣̒̽̄ḁ̴̡̤̥͌́ṋ̴̘̩́k̴̘͑̚s̷̰͑͛̌­̘ ̷̢̹́̿f̵̬̰̎̓̇͆ô̴̯̮̇̒̊r̵̻̲̲̈́ ̵̫̀̒̽ṁ̶̞̝̑͘a̷͖͒k̷̨̨̯̾͋͛ì̸̼̖n̶̮̈́̔͐̅g̶̰̽ ̴͈͇̯͠m̶̘̽̈́̈́̕é̵̼͠ ̶̢̼̱̅͊̈s̶̨̅ţ̶͍̅͒́͝ṟ̷̈́̊̚o̷͎͛͂́̆n̶͕̪̞͑͗̌̕͜ḡ̷͇͒̚
i wanted to make a poem using the zalgo text is all, i'm ok dw LOL
487 · Aug 2019
confession
Sabrina Aug 2019
i dont know
whats wrong with me
why do i wish to express that im kinda sad
but dont want you to question it
why dont i want you to worry?
486 · Dec 2018
but no one came
Sabrina Dec 2018
everything hurts
it's not a physical pain
it's a pain emotionally
that is difficult to put a band-aid on
it's your head feeling heavy and you feeling tired
wanting to sleep away the current depression
so that you don't have to deal with it
just for a bit
depression episodes
480 · Mar 2019
Why
Sabrina Mar 2019
Why
Why can I never be good enough?
Why can I never be strong enough?
Why can I never look in the mirror,
Think a little clearer
And see beauty in me?
477 · Nov 2018
restless
Sabrina Nov 2018
how am i supposed to sleep
when i fear if you do not love me
450 · Dec 2018
Waste
Sabrina Dec 2018
I have much better things to be doing
Than to worry about someone who forgot about me
446 · Dec 2018
Alter Ego
Sabrina Dec 2018
She's got a tongue
Sharp enough to make you hush
She's got the smile
Enough to make you blush
She's got the attitude
To make you go mad in love
She's the girl I wish to be
But I can't bring myself to be
She lives in my head
The girl I want to be
I lie in my bed,
thinking of what could be
She's fearless, strong and gorgeous
With the walk of a cat
Heart of a lion
Hiss of a snake
Breaking but hiding it
Confidence will rise above it
She's the girl I wish to be
But I just can't seem to become it
422 · Jan 2019
Lone
Sabrina Jan 2019
I wish the man of the dreams
The man in my mind
The only one I can call mine
But doesn't even exist
Did for once
Maybe then
I could live happily
Forever in bliss
417 · Jan 2019
Regret
Sabrina Jan 2019
I shouldn't expect anything from you anymore
Only "I'm sorry"
Because you hate yourself for the pain
You caused me
But that's okay now
Because the only one who's still suffering the consequences
The lesson
Through the pain
Is you
Difference between you and I right now is,
I've always been a quick learner.
Thank you.
411 · Sep 2019
i'm sorry, dear
Sabrina Sep 2019
i don't really know why this started
the happy go lucky girl i once was
feared almost nothing
yeah she was glowing
until the darkness came in blowing
blowing out what once was
now who i used to be
is barely inside of me
only the memories of her
remain inside
the pictures will help you remember
i can't love
i can't do anything right
i can't hide
from the demons inside
so all i do is sit
quietly and wait
until they get bored
and dissipate
though it's only temporary
you love me
at least i think
i don't know why you want me
i say i don't like anyone
but why does it make me feel sick to my stomach
thinking of you with anyone else
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but why can't i afford to lose you?
whatever good was left in me
that year
i fear he took it all with him
now all that's left is anger within
self-hatred and fear for letting anyone in
but i think i do love you
you hate him for what he's done to me
so i'm sorry about the demons inside
that simply won't let me be
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but i really can't afford to lose you
i can't do anything right
i don't really wanna die
but i want this bad feeling to go away inside
i'm scared of myself at times
but you hate the fear in my eyes
i don't know why
why, do you want to make me alright?
398 · Feb 2019
Distance Hurts
Sabrina Feb 2019
You say you love me
We make each other feel things
We've never felt before
But I still live in fear of love
After my heart being broken before
Long distance wouldn't work
But I still dream
Until the day
We can hold each others hand
If that doesn't happen because I hurt you,
I'll stare at the morning dew
With tears running down my face
I know we could never replace
I'm sorry
I'm bad at saying it directly but
I love you
395 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Sabrina Dec 2018
I'm
strong
enough
but
sometimes i wish for just
someone to love
and for them to love me back
perhaps
thats too much though
386 · Sep 2018
Atelophobia
Sabrina Sep 2018
Get out of my head
Please
Stop ruining my life
Creating up little lies and scenarios
Forcing me to believe them.
Atelophobia along with my anxiety and depression that controls my everyday life.
I depend on that one small pill to keep me happy and sane
My brain is so ****** up that I cry for no good reason without it.
I miss one day, and I break.
No reason for me to snap, no reason for me to cry, no one can tell me why I randomly developed this mental issue that runs my whole life.
Let me love someone for once without being doubtful.
Let me love someone without a fear of being thrown out.
But maybe it's just trying to protect me,
So that I don't get any worse.
Get out of my head.
385 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Sabrina Jan 2019
make this invisible emotional suffering end
maybe then
i'll feel good enough
381 · Feb 2019
Apology
Sabrina Feb 2019
I just wanted to say sorry
In advance
I've told you it before
But I'm not very stable
My mind is like broken cable
Static and loud
Dramatic sound
You deserve better than me, honestly
You deserve all the good in this world
So I'm writing this in advance
Just in case
My mind takes me away from you
I won't take any chance
For a proper reason
357 · Mar 2019
Cheat
Sabrina Mar 2019
You can't possibly think I'll ever trust you
After you had your hand in another girls
Your arms wrapped around another
All while texting me you love me
355 · Nov 2018
Reality
Sabrina Nov 2018
I want to scream
Until this emotional ache goes away
I want to yell your name
And have you tell me everything is okay
But I know that won't happen
Because she's with you
350 · Sep 2018
Ditch
Sabrina Sep 2018
I honestly feel like I'm falling
My trust issues choking me
Like a noose tight around my neck
As I watch all those around me,
Falling deeper and deeper into a depth of love
A depth that I crawled out of after being thrown out
Just barely alive.
I'll look down at them, watching the ones who survive
Marry.
And the unlucky ones, such as I, who were tossed out.
I'll grab their hand to pull them up.
With a shy whisper,
"I know."
Tears will run down my cheeks as that rope that was once a noose becomes chains.
My trust for others disintegrating,
and my doubt increasing like a hummingbirds hunger.
I don't lose hope.
Maybe, maybe just one day.
The chains will be unlocked.
And I'll learn how to trust someone again,
as I also learn to trust myself with another ones heart.
346 · Oct 2018
I'm not her
Sabrina Oct 2018
It just kinda hurts
Just a little bit
The way you told me all these things
For months on end
We would sit up in bed
And instead of sleeping
We'd talk about our future together instead
You were far away though, so I couldn't give you what you needed
She swept you off your feet
By being able to hear your heartbeat
That was something I couldn't do,
Unless you had patience
So because you fell for her all because she could give you 1 thing I couldn't
It made me feel like I wasn't enough
I shouldn't have expected it to last, though
Your words were too sweet and you confessed too easy
The summer nights were always a bit too breezy
So as I watched you walk away
Your heart pounding for her instead
My once heart full of love sways away
Leaving me feeling far too empty
With tears streaming down my eyes, and my screams filling my head
I'll forever lay in bed and think about all the words you'd said
340 · Oct 2018
Bittersweet
Sabrina Oct 2018
I hate you so much
The way you led me to believe you'd stay with me
Forever
But your voice makes me warm
I hate you
For the way you basically cheated on me because you couldn't be patient
But your laugh brings back memories
I hate you
For hurting me so bad I'm now just as possessive as you are
Because now I'm too scared to lose someone else
But doing simple things we haven't done in a while together makes me happy
I hate you so much
For scaring my heart
Making me always see you in someone else
I hate you so much
But please, love me again.
Though I'll refuse to love you back.
318 · Oct 2019
crushes
Sabrina Oct 2019
will i ever be good enough
will he ever notice me
maybe feel the same way?
or am i forever stuck in my same ways
of daydreaming
that maybe one day
i'll mean something
to him
316 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Sabrina Dec 2018
I fall for those who are too good for me
Those who deserve better
Someone who deserves a beautiful, happy, girl
I'm not that
I fall for those who are better than me
I hope one day they'd love me
I've been lied to and left
My emotions left unkept
It's to the point where I've swept up all of the tears of the past
That keep coming back to the present
Nothing ever lasts
I just want someones hand to hold
Perhaps I'm being too bold
I know I'm young,
I know I'm dumb,
but this loneliness is eating me alive
Those drawings aren't real guys
The real ones could never look at me in a loving way
Not like he did
So I guess I'll just sit alone
My thoughts wandering all over my mind
Until I find someone who I can call mine
With tears streaming down my cheeks,
My happiness bleak,
I'll keep looking
For the one I seek
308 · Dec 2018
Better
Sabrina Dec 2018
Look at me go
Look at me shine
I'll leave you in the back line
Just like you did to me
I'll walk away with a smile
So bright it'll be hard for you to see
I don't deserve you
I deserve better
Give me a little credit
For putting up with you for too **** long
They should've bet on it
That you would leave
Now look at me
Look at who I am now
Do your eyes deceive?
I'm so much better off without you
little does he know
306 · Mar 2019
I'm scared of staying
Sabrina Mar 2019
Why won't you let me run?
Why don't you see my feelings are deadly?
My soul can burn brighter than the sun
Brighter than a sunset
On a summers evening
I'll give you all my love for a day or two
Then I'll run away
It's nothing new
I don't know what you see in me
Why you want a future with me
Can I be fixed?
Is that what you think?
I'm gonna try and run away
But you'll pull me back into yesterday
Hold me tight and never let go
I don't know what you see in me
That makes you shine so brightly
Feelings to others are deadly for me
I'm better off living in my own mind where I'm free
Can't you see
That you treat me too good
Too good for me
Let me run before I hurt you
Let me run before I burn you
With the fire of my soul
The ashes of my heart
Let me run
But hold onto every single memory you gave me
303 · Apr 2019
Rose Tinted
Sabrina Apr 2019
You must think you're so tough
Well let me tell you
Since you're my ex-love
I never want you back in my life
Don't come crying to me anymore
I don't wanna hear your lies
So I'll just stand back and watch your tears pour
Think you can cheat on me with her
Come crying to me once you left her
You tore my heart in pieces
Then you left me, baby
I couldn't believe it
Now that I'm over you
Meeting people new
May even be ******* your ex best friend too
Never always liked how you treated me
But I dealt with it, baby
I can't even believe me
Rose tinted glasses must've blinded me
Like you said
Can't you see?
Go run away from all your issues
I'll sit back
Maybe I'll ship you a box of tissues
297 · Sep 2018
Peace &
Sabrina Sep 2018
Maybe if I was dead they'd listen
They'd understand just a little bit more
So by tears pouring down and me wearing a constant frown,
Tears welling up in my eyes and I want to say goodbye
To have peace and tranquility
I often can't vent to others, as it will turn into the same line over and over
Almost like a stutter
Get this voice out of my head
This monster controlling my mind
Making me blind to the goodness of the one who claims they love me
Blinding me with words others have said from my past
And at last it swallows me whole
A hole in my heart
Tearing me apart
I often just want to feel at peace
My mind at ease
But that feels impossible
As this world is difficult to please.
Put my mind to ease,
A gun to my head
My depression forcing this black hole to get bigger and bigger
Take off the safety and pull the trigger.

Tranquility.
296 · Apr 2019
Lessons
Sabrina Apr 2019
Two of the harshest lessons I've learned thus far
Would have to be
That you cannot save everyone
You cannot always save someone from taking an entire bottle
You cannot always save someone from jumping
You cannot always save someone from the shot of a gun
From the knot of a rope
You also cannot keep everyone you used to care for or still care for
Some will leave
Some you will have to leave
It'll fill you with anger
All the stages of grief
Apply to basically everything
In the end no one can truly accept the fact
That we have to go through heart-wrenching things
Two of the harshest lessons I've learned thus far unfortunately
Both involve
Abandonment
290 · Oct 2019
this is useless
Sabrina Oct 2019
i'm pathetic
a sad excuse for a human being
i'm yet another one
who walks aimlessly down the lane
hoping one day i'll be free
from the demon in my brain
i love someone who shall never notice me
i love someone who is too good, even if he did
perhaps i'm not sane,
perhaps love is what's causing all these migraines
maybe one day i'll realize
that you're too far from my reach
you're too popular for me
so if you ever did look at me,
what would i be to you?
perhaps another female fan
begging with a preach
but i see so much in you
and you would never have a clue
honestly, these feelings are tiring
so i have to be poetic
in attempt to show the world what i'm feeling
why won't these useless feelings for you
leave me be?
286 · Oct 2018
lil poem
Sabrina Oct 2018
I think the saddest part
Is that no matter who it is
She will always see parts of him in them
And fear falling
273 · Dec 2018
Strength in Hope
Sabrina Dec 2018
I'll try to withstand the storm inside my mind,
But sometimes it gets really scary
And no longer kind
But I carry on
With friends and loved ones next to me
Sometimes it gets a little dull
The happy flame starts to burn out
Sometimes I just need to use that smile
To re-light it
One day I'll find a permanent brighter light
At the end of the dark tunnel
I call my mind
264 · Apr 2019
Where?
Sabrina Apr 2019
If I wasn't so scared of death
I would've ended it so so long ago
Get me out of this hell hole
That's also my mind and soul
Like I've heard before,
"When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"
I hate myself and fear I'm never good enough
So that's why my exterior is me acting so tough
Don't wanna let anyone in
Where do I even begin?
Used to be such a pure child
Now I'm full of sin
If I could ever find peace within myself
Love for myself
Someone please do tell me
Please let me know
"When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"
It's one of my favorite quotes from the Billie Eilish song "Bury a Friend"
When we all fall asleep, where do we go?
261 · Nov 2018
Goner
Sabrina Nov 2018
Everyone leaves
Even when they promised they never would
So could you just please
Promise me
Not to leave
And have my belief
That you won't go
Be true
256 · Dec 2018
idk
Sabrina Dec 2018
idk
"So why do you think that happens?"
"Why does what happen?"
"Why she just falls apart, unraveling at the scenes when someone other than family asks if she's okay? When someone hugs her and says it's okay?"
"Perhaps she hasn't been told that in a while. Perhaps she never felt like anyone other than her family cared, all the while she couldn't get herself to speak."



- excerpt from a book I'd never write
S
253 · Mar 2019
Dull Light
Sabrina Mar 2019
When she was 7
She believed in a heaven
She believed in a God
When she was 8
She was oh so great
Her destiny was a date
When she was 9
Oh she flew so high
Mother so proud
Thought she would never fall down
When she was 10
She started to lose some things
Tantrums over and over again
Light starting to dull every night
When she was 11
She wanted to go to heaven
There was no light left in her eyes
All she wanted to do was say goodbye
A scream and a cry
A shout but her words were as quiet as a mouse
Lie to the doctors
To get out quickly
Despite her mind being so sickly
As she got older
The boulder on her shoulders
Became a little less heavy
She could bare more
Sometimes she'd still cry
But she'd find a way to make herself alright
Though sometimes it's a little difficult
She's 16
And her mind still isn't clean
But will it ever be?
She went through her own little hell
But the bright bell rang
Her strength sang
Though her heart is scarred up
Trust isn't quite there
She'll make it
Through the mean words that little demon puts inside her mind
Prove them all wrong
Cause mama didn't raise someone who would give up
Mama raised a girl who will always find a way
To keep her head up
244 · Dec 2018
come back
Sabrina Dec 2018
sometimes i think of the good days
when we were together
but then i remember
you left me for someone else
and i guess
we werent made for eachother
244 · Dec 2018
imperfect
Sabrina Dec 2018
She'll be with him longer
Than I was
She'll give him better memories
With a hand to hold
I wasn't good enough
Not the perfect girl
and I can't
bear that
235 · Mar 2019
.
Sabrina Mar 2019
.
I want them to notice
I'm not okay
So that I get a shoulder to cry on
If they even care
But naturally
I always pretend I'm okay
And suffer on my own.
234 · Dec 2019
i'm pathetic
Sabrina Dec 2019
what a waste of my time
wish you weren't in my heart and on my mind
i'm feeling so pathetic
seriously this is just like liking a celebrity
a waste of my emotion
and i won't forget it
i'm feeling like i'm trapped
in my own dungeon
that i call my mind
but i'll say i'm alright
just to try to fool myself
even for tonight
I'm feeling so ******' pathetic
An absolute mess and I won't ever forget it
****, I don't even really know you
And you don't know me
We never speak
But the thought of me maybe one day meeting you keeps me company
Though.. in reality
I know it's a waste of my time
Want you out of my head
Out of my head
Out of my thoughts
But so far I'm not really succeeding
No matter how hard I try
You always pop up somewhere
I don't wanna have feelings for you
Anymore
I don't want to have feelings in general
Anymore
Love is exhausting
Falling for someone
It is tiring
I know I can't do much about it
I try to get your attention but honestly
It's becoming not even worth it
The chances of me ever getting to get close is barely positive
But for some ******* reason I keep holding onto the feeling
Holding on to that straw of hope
While I'm sinking in an ocean
And I'm struggling to get back up
I don't know how to swim, and no one can save me
Well isn't this just my luck?
I feel so ******* pathetic
A sad excuse for a human
Wish you weren't on my mind, in my heart
And the thought of you makes me fall apart
Basically like liking a celebrity
Absolutely no point in hoping
But this straw of hope is stopping me
So I dream that one day
Maybe I'll at least be your friend
Maybe I'll at least let go
So I can survive as long as I can
why must i love someone i can never have
230 · Dec 2018
Rise
Sabrina Dec 2018
Rise above
It all
Don't let anyone stop you
Not anymore
We won't fall
Let the rage take over you
Show them what you're made of
Show them the strength that's made you go up
Be the person
You've always wanted to be
Show them even though you've been through your own kind of hell,
You're still genuinely smiling.
i had a little lyricy tune i made up in my head and put it into a poem, this doesn't really apply to me but i'm sure it could inspire others :P
229 · Oct 2018
Questions
Sabrina Oct 2018
What does it feel like?
It feels like you're numb
You don't feel anything emotionally
But at the same time you do
The numb feeling brings you depression and exhaustion
Tears refuse to fall, though
What does it feel like?
It feels like your head is heavy and clouded
Busy with thoughts
Your sane side is screaming at it to make it stop
At that point, you want to die just for it to end
What does it feel like?
It feels like I could let my head fall backwards, draping over my chair
And I could stare at the ceiling
Without feeling boredom, nor entertainment
I'd feel nothing
What does it feel like?
It feels like you wanting to sleep until that little episode goes away
Hopefully happiness finds its way into your mind again
Why do you think about death?
In truth,
None of us really want to die
We simply want this emotional and mental pain to end.
229 · Dec 2019
Untitled
Sabrina Dec 2019
whatever this helpless feeling is
whatever the feeling is called
when you feel so sad
you're almost numb
where you just want to sleep
or disappear?
not die but just
forget
not have these feelings for this person anymore
it's a waste of time
energy
emotion
tears
it's delusional
yet i still would do anything
just to talk to him
why
what's wrong with me?
228 · Mar 2019
Unstable/???
Sabrina Mar 2019
Can someone please tell me
What's wrong with me?
I pull someone close then shove them away
But don't let them drown
Holding onto their hand but standing so far away
Begging them not to go
While also wanting my space
I'm scared of loving
And letting others in
I wanna trust him
So why can I not
Let my past sins go?
228 · Apr 2019
Questions
Sabrina Apr 2019
If you want me to be honest
I could never keep a promise
So as much as I want you
As much as you want me
I can't promise anything
Cause I like to be free
I like it when you choke me
I like it when you hug me
I like it when you kiss me
I like it when you love me
But I can't promise anything
I think I love you
I never want you to leave
I want you to promise me
But I guess you'll never see
Just how ****** up I am
But whenever you can,
Please just see
The real me
Isn't as amazing
As I could truly be
225 · Mar 2019
strive
Sabrina Mar 2019
My mind is scattered
My emotions scattered like a broken dinner platter
Numb but full of emotion
Emotional yet emotionless
This loneliness
Is eating me alive
It's as if my depression strives
On only that alone
Like a parasite
Feeding on anything you ingest
It leaves me staring blankly
As the text indicator blinks
And I feel any good emotion shrink
I'm numb
But I'm falling apart
And feel as small and as fragile as a crumb
224 · Jan 2019
One Sided
Sabrina Jan 2019
Life can be beautiful
Fills you with joy
Make you think there is good in the world
Life can be ugly
Fill you with hatred and sadness
Makes you think there's no hope left in this world
But in the end, we all have that one thing
That gives us a reason to get out of bed
Perhaps it's their smile
That makes you want to stay
For just a while
222 · Apr 2019
??
Sabrina Apr 2019
??
The fog will never leave
The world crumbles at our feet
While we world turns red
Do you wish you were dead?
Do you wish you could change
The fate of society?
Let anxiety pour
Come knocking at your door
You sit there in fear
Knees cradled to your chest
And at your best
You're wishing you weren't dead
We all share the same fate
One day we'll fall asleep
Never to wake
Let the blood moon show
The blood of your enemies
You wish
Would paint the fresh white snow
Never fall asleep
In your dreams you'll still weep
Let it all fall down
Wake up now
The sound of your heart
You're awake
Don't fall apart
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