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Hakiim Jan 8
‪there are people i thought i was close to,
friends family etc.
Now they act as if I don’t exist,
as if all my memories were a hallucination.
I write them letters with no response‬
I hesitate to reconnect
because speaking to the seemingly dead,
destroys my peace
Dec 2019 · 17
here...
Hakiim Dec 2019
i’ve placed myself in three shapes...
encased in a body of mud...
wiggling through cracks to see what was...
semi escaping chaos to find another...
...halted in time
Dec 2019 · 67
calmez vous
Hakiim Dec 2019
your stilts in your flex lights are my stilts in the next life...


act right before you hit night
Nov 2019 · 89
purdah
Hakiim Nov 2019
what is solitude?
a cocoon of iridescent
paintings of oil on bulletproof walls
mama’s warm embrace in fetal form

a prison of darkness
where no one knows your face
where reflections are only imagined
where hands are far from reach
and reality is...

a place where beauty is created
creation is sentence
and sentence is desolation

childbed
Jul 2019 · 34
7am
Hakiim Jul 2019
7am
this feeling is a place of escape
absence in stagnant emotion
blank space
a feeling of regret in cloudy white
fog on a warm spring Monday morning
in a spiritual space of fog but peace
Jul 2019 · 57
ocean
Hakiim Jul 2019
it has become cold
but not for all
only for your reflection
a bulletproof window

wasted time on marble floor
sand trapped in a room
seeping out a window to reveal sunlight

a beach of perfection but pollution
sharks all around me
as i watch from the bars
yet a beautiful clear ocean

thriving life and vivid colors
i hear the hum of distant whales
but my lungs overflow with water

conditioner in my curls
in need of a thorough rinse
and i in need of the ocean
I'm moving on from old toxic infatuations and peaceful alone. But, I've met someone that I really like but old conditioning and comfort causes hesitance
Feb 2019 · 339
puzzle
Hakiim Feb 2019
touch me as brick turns into paper
a familiarity i once knew
a past life in present form

i sit in full awareness of your bare flesh
you reside transparent in most forms
my hand extended in subtle care
your heart belongs to memories

my memories resurface as fear takes a hold
of being used and alone
of you not seeing me
of me dying alone

in fear that my last love is my last love
so as you fill my brain and it forms a puzzle
speak to me before insanity fills my neck with thorns
before paper becomes brick
I recently went o date with someone and they felt for some reason familiar to me. They reminded me of my first/last love who passed away. Yet, now at this point I’m not sure how this person feels. I know they have a struggle with their past love, but i’m so confused and lost. I’m not sure if they are even slightly interested in me. I just want clarification if I should just close myself back off from potential love or what. My mind is in shambles.
Jan 2019 · 67
matthew
Hakiim Jan 2019
on that night we gazed north at stars and confessed love
hands clenched and intertwined like grapevine and prayer in golden chalice
gifts from wise men on the birth of our love

time flew by and distance ached our feet
we loved eachother as you found another
loyalty was rikety as out hands remained clenched

my heart grew conflicted
my mind nailed it up
my tongue said hold on but let go
i was happy as well as sad

now that the nails have been removed
hearts are blocked by tomb walls
awaiting resurrection
awaiting and hoping that yours still feels the same
Dec 2018 · 133
place.
Hakiim Dec 2018
clarity spoken in whimsical tones of timid grey
face of paste as mind reflects seventy-three
feet of cinder
passage of bright fog
destination an illusion of mind
Nov 2018 · 93
Untitled
Hakiim Nov 2018
if love was a place
i’d make it home
where i rest within you on beds of water
Nov 2018 · 88
delilah II
Hakiim Nov 2018
you made me feel like I made flowers bloom
a single beat like quarter
shutters open to reveal clear sky
clouds clear like Windex
me in mud a snail
you the salt in my warm water
on my skin
gargle and spit me out like blow darts
in my body burning like an acid
left to defend the fort
fallacies shot like arrows from serpent tongues
third dimension hidden like Little Finger
clarity of sight
oculus
reality seen only in two dimensional travel
bound a lip like Billy
let you be Winnie
let you be Judas
and I Job
Nov 2018 · 65
pope
Hakiim Nov 2018
may he rest
a pendulum
white rock in hand
Chapo in hiding
he speaks to the crowd
kneeling in prayer
blind of sin
eyes dart to and fro
itching for cashflow
the highest in the sanctuary of holiness
watching behind satanic smile
devotees of holy rock
pray for baptism
oblivious of Lucifer
in plain sight
hungry for release
to be and to be pain
pleasure
rebirth
home of leaf and skull
grim in holy garb
the "enemy" their sovereign
the cup fills
sipping red wine in captivity
their skin a binding like Nancy
a coven of Judas
Nov 2018 · 52
ghost.
Hakiim Nov 2018
if words and body become transparent
and bodies move into nothingness
let mine only see you in seance
Jan 2018 · 82
stone
Hakiim Jan 2018
I'm afraid to love what would never return blessed favor
for my heart is brittle and bare
stripped to rickety existence
Jan 2018 · 237
blind
Hakiim Jan 2018
comprehensive labyrinth of error
fragile to in-extensive touch
Dec 2017 · 312
fucked up
Hakiim Dec 2017
we journeyed through seven seas
love gave you sea sickness
you wouldn't grab my hand
yet you touched my skin
i let you fall
and you froze into the ocean behind me
you were never my Jack
you were the glacier that sank your own ship
the shot that missed your ear
I was the diver, and you, the shark outside my cage
wanting my blood
only to discard my bones
you had me
disgusted
ashamed
disappointed
****** up
Oct 2017 · 432
pendulum
Hakiim Oct 2017
i cannot be loved,
to you,
i am a windful thought in the back of your above,
take me as the lung,
existence fully in love,
like a song i would be,
for you i want to,
be that tune,
in the watevers of your wars
Sep 2017 · 306
desire
Hakiim Sep 2017
There's an empty passion within me,
So many hopes and dreams,
yet no direction.

I feel bound,
by chains and locks and walls
so indescribable it is

My passion is clear,
like an untouched lake,
but I see no path,
I'm a runner on the road,
an endless road of wonder,

all leading to my home,
as I run I nearly reach my destination,
and then I run back,
not from fear,
but doubt.

This doubt is my *******,
I long for escape,
but it has its grip,
It is crushing me in a straightjacket of hopelessness,
and I so long for a breath of fresh air,

a glimpse,
a sign,
that one of these infinite roads leads to something,
a glimpse of my destination,
a savior,
certainty,
absolution
Sep 2017 · 588
λουλούδι
Hakiim Sep 2017
I need time to detangle this web of tears,
trapped in turmoil,
entrapped in confusion,
I am a maze runner in solitude,
watching flowers bloom on the other side of the fence,
I see nothing,
but the gravel that binds me within soil,
reaching through cracks I strive,
to see skies of blue
Sep 2017 · 621
life
Hakiim Sep 2017
the universe works in and endless labyrinth of ways,
what brings truth,
what brings falsehoods,
a maze of opportunity,
but of none,
it feels like water,
seeping through plastic it holds it's grip,
on who I could be but it doesn't,
direction is only an illusion,
while I stare into the eyes in my mirror I feel nothing,
but lost...
Aug 2017 · 460
divided
Hakiim Aug 2017
Have you seen him?
The boy
tears running down his face like a shower head
Have you seen him?
the boy
rocking back and forwards like a metronome
Have you seen him?
wringing his neck
dangling from the tree in his closet
Have you seen it?
that tree
the tree that has hung infinite bodies
soiled in rules and norms
seeds of hate and malice
planted by those who hate us
Have you seen it?
the blood of our sisters and brothers
our black brothers and sisters
our native brothers and sisters
our latinx
our brown
our gay
our lesbian
our bi
our trans brothers and sisters
Don't you see it?
We exist on this same tree
divided
The words "Have you seen" are meant to have a deeper meaning. Have you seen through their eyes? Have you seen their lives and their struggles? Have you seen who they think oppress them and why?
Have you lived their lives? We don't know the struggles of other people who are not us and oppressed for different reasons so we don't have the place to tell them they're wrong, invalid, or less than. We need to listen to each other and realize that we are all oppressed and if we can't come together and listen to each other and fight together, we will continue to struggle. Unity creates change
Aug 2017 · 605
Why don't you love me?
Hakiim Aug 2017
Why don't you love me?
For so long I've been a closed shell,
I decided to let you in and you were my glass of ocean,
you slipped down my throat and randomly contaminated me,
poisoned my liver,
fractured my lungs.

Why don't you love me?
Just me,
I make myself so **** easy to love,
to see,
see I know you have love for me,
You say you love me.
But, I'm not the only one,
I'm not the first,
the second,
the third time this has happened,
and a fourth it won't.
So You must answer me,

Why don't you love me?
When I love you
Am I not worthy of it?
Am I not ready?
Please,
let me know,
because I'm on the edge,
of jumping off,
of letting go.

Why don't you love me
Jun 2017 · 164
from a flower boy
Hakiim Jun 2017
let's hope you see,
the way you make me feel,
I give so much and you spit thorns in my face,
drag me to compost and let me stink until you need more seeds,

when you take roses from my garden,
you always take some sunflowers too,
when I lock away the seeds,
it's a cycle,

now the season is changing,
and it won't change until you learn,
that this garden ain't  free
Jun 2017 · 382
glass windows
Hakiim Jun 2017
what is happening?
we saw fireworks under vast oceans,
we found mirrors in quarrel caves,
what is this?
i stare into seas and see only sand,
i listen in crowded rooms and hear silence,
how do i navigate your labyrinth?
i'm sick of sending messages through steel rooms,
with no glass windows
Mar 2017 · 728
painter boy
Hakiim Mar 2017
painter boy,
your skin as brown as oak,
stretched over a body of pure godliness,
I am speechless,
I admire the beauty in every move you make,
every blink,
every turn,
every fidget fascinates me,
you speak and a stillness strikes my heart,
your words full of honey and raindrops,
bringing a wave of calmness over me,
you make me feel at home,
you're so full of life,
yet so mysterious,
you call me beautiful and a rain falls from my soul,
it is as if i have released a weight of infinite tons,
you make me smile as i look at you,
i don't know much but i know everything,
we stare at eachother and i see and feel the passion within our gaze,
i've gotten lost in your eyes and now I've made this beautiful brown galaxy my home
Jan 2017 · 534
you
Hakiim Jan 2017
you
is it you who's heart is always being broken?
or is it you who breaks the hearts?
is it you who crushes souls?
is it you who blames?
is it you who points fingers?
is it you who labels based on your past?
is it you who blocks goals?
is it you who builds walls?
is it you?
is it me?
or is it........

you?
Dec 2016 · 830
disconnection
Hakiim Dec 2016
I can't see you through glass mirrors.
but I can't hear you in empty corridors.
Dec 2016 · 501
isolated
Hakiim Dec 2016
i am a willow leaf,bound to the branches of a poisonous maple tree.
I am different from my neighbors.
I try to tell them about me,
but every time I reveal my tongue they spit toxins onto my flesh.
They are all I've ever known,
but they're the source of my pain.
They are the source of my hate.
Everything I value most,
they seek to destroy.
What must I do?
a poem abouty relationship with my family
Dec 2016 · 252
...
Hakiim Dec 2016
...
You're just like my smiles,
abandoning me when I need them the most.
Dec 2016 · 568
warmth
Hakiim Dec 2016
the last time I was warm I was abandoned,
now I exist within a bone-chilling endless corridor,
I've existed here for as long as I can remember.
my knowledge of love has been replaced by anxiety throughout these long lonely years,
I've walked down this corridor for eons and I've finally met someone,
their body gives off heat that they cannot feel in return.
surprisingly I try to warm the icicles upon their beautiful soul but I don't know how,
i pour my heart out to a solid wall,
now I'm empty and dry,
my mind tells me to continue down this endless corridor,
my mind says they have no hope,
but my heart says stay,
my heart tells me to be patient and to surrender my warmth,
my heart says to absorb their cold and share my warmth.
My heart stands still yet excited,
like a tropical desert.
What is happening
this is a challenge I'm currently going through. I'm falling for someone fast (which isn't normal), but they don't feel the same yet. I am used to being in control and I need to learn how to surrender and let it happen on its own.
Dec 2016 · 595
chrysalis
Hakiim Dec 2016
it's hard,
my story is of love and of strength,
in which one i do not possess,
walls of water leak into my room as i wait to drown,
but my soul says be free,
it so badly wants to be,
but it be,
trapped.
In a web of lies,
a maze of confusion,
but a window of certainty.
Knowing what it wants,
but not knowing what it creates,
knowing that it is me,
but knowing it isn't what they want it to be.
My soul is at war with it's truth,
but in battle with it's reality.
What do I do?
I don't know how to explain this current struggle with involving my sexuality in my work
Nov 2016 · 560
renewal
Hakiim Nov 2016
i am lost,
in an abyss of never ending confusion,
coiled in thorns of hollow,
rooted in fertile soil

the days before twelve haunt me still,
expecting those to die on the eve of my hallow soul,
it is reborn nine days afterward,
i am afraid,
i am drained

i have lost all hope for the things i hoped
my body has been at war with itself,
physically and mentally

i sit long days staring at walls
thinking of failed dreams and aspirations
as i struggle to live the life i lived before my nightmare began

i am here,
writing,
not fully healed but forcing these wounds closed,
taking my steps back into this sanctuary as if it is my first time,
as if it is my first step

i cannot let these wounds remain opened
i cannot allow my soul to be ****** from my very being,
i have to live,
i have to stand in me and you,
and live,
and love,
and learn,
and be,
strong
ever since the Trump election I have shut down and done nothing creatively, I have to force myself to get out of this bad mental place and get back to doing what I love.
Oct 2016 · 1.3k
crimson
Hakiim Oct 2016
A boy sits alone blinking away falling rapid tears,
lipstick in hand,
eyes glazed in eternal pain.
She sits in shelter,
tears in hand,
dripping like lilies falling through shimmering thighs.
She thinks of him as his lips,
red as crimson,
eyes shimmering like the glitter she uses to hide her pain.
Their love broken by acid tongues and toxic systems,
they remain fragile.
Fearing the letters that were long created by no one.
Face painted for lights to see,
his tears have ruined this canvas.
He hides the rain deep within,
in order to maintain the desert his flesh must remain.
Bathed in strong fumes,
clothes engulfed in flames,
she feels sorrow.
The only light is the multicolored flames slowly dying in their eyes.
She kisses his lips in silence.
Lips of cherry and mango dipped in crimson paint,
oh how sweet.
False labels tattooed upon his face,
while rebellious truth seeps from his wounds.
Her skin rains as his soul dies.
He slips from life all because...
dictation,
creation,
labels,
mentality
Aug 2016 · 551
set me free
Hakiim Aug 2016
HEAR ME,
the caged bird,
Maya once spoke of my ancestor,
but I have a new song,
my song is but a simple request,
it is of modern day,
it is of another time,
a time of difference,
a time of new,
I but have one request,
to mine own mother,
let go of the door to the cage you have me trapped within,
I know my way through the prison,
you just placed your knowledge upon my being,
you have seen your war as my fight,
you haven't taught yourself the strategy,
you have missed training and believed so as to me,
your being is not ready as you have believed upon mine,
but my being is not your being,
which is what you fail to comprehend,
my wings are of steel,
this beak has been sharpened,
my talons are ready for war,
set me free
Aug 2016 · 820
seed
Hakiim Aug 2016
glistening wings shimmer deeply through unearthly winds,
a child striding past a field of poisonous thorns,
tongues providing false shadows blinding my sight,
i can now see,
the sky cries,
puddles give off reflections,
sunlight bounces off of each false shadow,
lighting the child's path,
open mind safety resides within this pure misguided soul,
immunity to poison,
resting,
deep within my mind,
foggy roads and clear paths,
angels guiding me to my wings,
wings soar above the things i once knew
Jun 2016 · 414
Untitled
Hakiim Jun 2016
love is a golden being traveling through fields of war
Jun 2016 · 391
Untitled
Hakiim Jun 2016
I think I found someone,
I think I found someone who could be, i think I found someone to rest my heart,
i think I found myself,
my mirror,
my equal,
my soul,
please be my soul because my heart has been a hollow glass ball,
it has been black as a jet,
please be my soul,
please be the one,
please be mine,
please,
make me complete
Jun 2016 · 293
abhorrence
Hakiim Jun 2016
your presence creates a boiling within my bones,
inflicting scars upon my mind,
poisoning my heart,
it fills me with crimson brighter than the sun,
I've tried to cleanse it,
but every time I almost wash away your sins,
you refill my cup with more of this crimson paint.
You were my flower,
I was your seed,
I emerged from your body alive and innocent,
but my innocence has become yours,
and your innocence is an illusion
Jun 2016 · 359
blinds
Hakiim Jun 2016
follow me into your soul,
bury me without your darkness,
show me,
what I could be
Jun 2016 · 568
melancholy
Hakiim Jun 2016
regretting the life I have chosen to live is not something I aimed to see,
the more this temple trods this earth,
the more this soul wishes for release,
happiness is a place where they both join in hand in triumph,
until that day, they remain at war,
they remain these never ending enemies at opposite ends,
the soul wishes for peace but the temple remains,
uncooperative
Jun 2016 · 966
Kismet
Hakiim Jun 2016
I found a penny buried within my throat,
sitting inside my stomach,
burried within my temple,
whispering words of my stars,
telling tales of my future's past,
guiding my fate down a musky road,
laying me in clovers,
tangling within my curls,
dripping into my drain,
over, and over again.

— The End —