i caught a glimpse
of your life
i was surprised
to see myself
in it

i like the smell of paper
i like the feel of ink
i like the formation of words
that show what i am thinking
my first poem was born
in 1996
when i was just a kid
i liked the smell of paper
i fell in love with it

you say,
you are not a ******
you say,
you come in peace
but this does not put me at ease.
because you are a man
tall,
dominant,
strong.
i am aware of your testosterone
lingering in your blood stream
like alcohol,
in a drunken girl.
unconscious,
while he feeds on her drunken body
like prey.

you say,
you are not a ******
you say,
you mean no harm
but i am a woman,
in a man's world  
and you are a man,
in a ******'s world
so i hear yours words
and approach with caution.

i am perfect at being imperfect
not so perfect at accepting it
i am perfect at being worth it
not so perfect at embracing it
perhaps there are imperfections in perfection
perhaps my perfection is a transaction
in self compassion

at first glance you looked perfect
now i know you are not
but who the f*ck,
is perfect?
we've all got history we're ashamed of

so let's both be imperfect
imperfectly in love
because even with your flaws
for me,
you are enough

you can judge me on my past
if you want
but i'm making a better future
because the future's all i've got

so you can crucify me
for my past mistakes
or have the grace,
to give me room to change.

what is it about,
west australian poets?
who hide in journals
where the paper smells,
personal
organic
safe.

what is it about,
women with poor eye sight?
who wear leggings
-instead of-
dresses
who can't help making messes
and sleep until three
because she needs more time to dream

what is about,
women like me?

holding up a peace sign
while dodging their land mines
studying the art
of how they fight

with a journal in my left
and a pen in my right
i'm naive enough to think that war could end
but wise enough to know
that there is no hope in pretense

so i'm holding up a peace sign
along with a journal bound in leather
aware that peace signs do not mean surrender

and folks like me,
we tend to fight forever.

i want to love you.
braid your hair and make cupcakes love
drive full speed to the mountains love
friendship before *** love

i want to love you like a unique tatoo
that only we know the meaning of.

i want to love you.
newborn fresh innocence love
give you half of my kidney love
break myself in two in order to catch you love

yeah,
i want to love you.

for once i would like someone
to love me just as much as i love them
for once i would like someone to be all in
what is it like to be chased?
instead of forever chasing
what is it like to be someone's everything?
for once i would like someone
to have a heart as full as mine
for once i want to be on someone's mind
for once i want the path to run both ways
always,
i am the one who loves
from an empty hallway
with nothing to say
besides love me,
love me
love me
love me,
back.

i cannot comprehend this
what makes sense is senseless
this senselessness is endless
so in the end i comprehend
enough to play pretend
but common sense tells me
that wars create sores
that are more or less forever
i cannot comprehend this letter
so i better carry on with this
senselessness which is endless
unless perhaps i end this my self

I exist outside of him
A strange concept to process
Eleven years will bind you to a man
Seperation is a storyteller
A strange concept to process
This time apart has told a story
Of a woman reclaiming her sanctuary
I exist outside of him
We are over
Alas!
I am still breathing

i gave my heart to a giant
who didn't understand,
what he had in his possession
his skin was thick
his words were harsh
he figured i could take it
oh, how he was mistaken
his insults crushed my skeleton
this giant loved computer games
he thought my heart,
was a joy stick
he thought i was simply pathetic
for not knowing how to play
i gave,
my heart to the giant
i swear i am not lying
when i say,
he threw that heart on the pavement
as i broke,
i heard him laughing.
i was mistaken,
for thinking that i could play games
with a giant.

i am a scribbled name
on a restaurant napkin
i am the one,
at the funeral laughing

i am a face in a crowded train
i am the memory you cannot erase

i am a pierced ******
with messy hair
and mix matched clothes

i am a scribbled name
on a restaurant napkin
i am a joke
but nobody's laughing

praise you,
for kicking a girl when she's down

praise you,
lord of cruelty

praise you,
king of snide remarks

praise you,
for your ability
to rob one of their stability

praise you,
king of sarcasm

for chipping off
another part of me
with your casual insensitivity

praise me,
queen of vulnrability
for letting your hurt get the best of me

praise be.

I lie to myself on a daily basis
It saves me from what I call Truth Psychosis
The brutality of reality
Robs me of my sanity
So I lie to myself to keep me somewhat balanced

you could do with an australian poet like me
you could benefit from my manic scribbles
you could do with a serial lover like me
i would leave you psychotic
i would leave you fulfilled

you could do with an empathetic soul like me
feelings come with the territory
feelings come with no warning
you won't want to stay
you won't know how to leave

you could do with a compassionate soldier like me
you'd find interest in my battle stories
you could do with an australian poet like me
i would remove you from your  own reality

typ
typ
typical
to leave at the critical
moment

frozen in absolute
hate
a fate you can only create
from abandonment
now it is too late

typ
typ
typical
to leave at the critical
moment

he had a hard time
reading the signs
eventually he would come to find
it was easier to lie

sometimes,
i want to spit
in the face of,
my reflection.

sometimes,
i want to tear
rebecca!
into pieces.

today,
i look at my
reflection.
i see,
a goddess!

today,
i see
a survivor!

i see
a queen!
beauty amongst the mess.

sometimes,
i am
a pathetic victim.

sometimes,
i am
a broken reflection.

today,
i let
the sunshine in.

the warmth,
floods
my skin.

i smile!
i win
i'm surviving.

when did you come in,
to my life?
funny how
i do not recall ,
a life without you.

the shape of your name,
has a strange kind of beauty

the sound of your voice,
makes my heart skip-
-skip a beat.

when did you start,
to love me?
i pray that you never stop.

i forgot,
the beauty of new love.
the innocence of,
discovery.

when did you become,
my best friend?
my brother?
my lover?

funny how,
the answer
does not even matter.

poem i wrote at work
not paid to write
my alibi was departed
nothing done
nothing gained
nothing done
nothing wasted
face it.
you can't see without vision
on my television
there is a man
telling stories about war time glory
a war he never fought himself
what is there to tell
that isn't superstition?
a victim
is still a victim
without his vision

mistakes you never
learn from
lessons,
a concept worth messing with
conversing with a *****
got the better of me
started thinking,
growth is the same
as leprosy
could a lesson in empathy
come for free?
could i be forever
mistaken?
mistaking a lesson with irony
iron out the wrinkles
then get back to me

a nothing
within something
something powerful
something small
a nothing
within something
is bigger
than law

pocahuntis took a drink
of water
from an empty jar of
marmalade
lady marmalade was
playing
next to an empty
conversation
about family movies and moving staircases
made me want to change my status
to be a stranger
amongst nutcases
who watch pocahontus
under hypnosis
change the spelling
and the meaning of
empty to full
it is questionable
but able to use
to fool.

i believe in forgiveness
if a man told me to
but not in regards to truth
or proof for that matter
mark it with laughter
and a sprinkle of ignorance too

change the word from
bully,
to alcohol.
watch the world change
dissolve,
problem solved.

her behaviour is altered
her face painted
skin plucked
neck perfumed
hair bleached
what is beauty to some
is sterile to me
let me see the original
in it's natural form
let me know the original
before she followed all these laws
laws of beauty
that have become standard
laws of conduct
that define our character
behaviour is altered
to check a box
face is painted
but i am not

he does not want to die
that way
but give someone
a gun
instead of a choice
give someone
a blade
instead of some hope
give someone humiliation
instead of friendship
and know you wanted hatred
know you wanted death
before death was your friend
at all
the final ending to an open ending
your call

in the middle of a down pour
with insults for rain drops
death for thunder
ignorance for wet
cold for cold
the leader was a ticking time bomb
and the answer was hiding
in fear
in the middle of a lesson
on the blessings of shame
and the danger of the human race
came the reality of suicide
a life otherwise ok
if not provoked by mind games
a reality still existing today
repeating in a way
that cant be rectified
or changed
a nightmare
on permanent replay

sitting in a bathroom stall
writing graffiti on the wall
this little poet
is leaving an imprint
on a cafe bathroom
in the middle of perth city
i hope you read my words
i hope you understand my meaning
i wish you all the best
on your adventures
in the city

he said,
babe you're running out of
false alarms
your arms are full of trial scars
i say,
self care is the same as
self harm
when the so called help
put self on the shelf
and chaos conquers calm
when a cry for help
is seen as
a cry for attention
a life can become
a hell of a life sentence
because everything
is a false alarm
when everyone else can
but you can't
i'm running out of false alarms
one day i will be truly armed
when i finally do it
you won't be around
it will take you ten years
to believe
when you finally do
you will still blame me

the words flowed like water
the words crashed like a wave
the words freed him from the prison cell
a poetic escape
the words flowed like water
syllables sliding like synchronised speech
the words crashed like a wave
when he found the poem ending
sometimes freedom is not truly free

hello
said the poet
to the paper
to the pen
hello
said the poet
to the poetry
how are you doing?
how have you been?
hello,
hello poetry

she is worth alot to herself
she is worth nothing to everyone else
this gets misinterpreted
like her name gets misspelt
she lacks the numbers
not the bravery
nor strength
but what one lacks in quantity
one makes up in presence

he was in love with a concept
because concepts dont talk back
concepts don't hate
concepts don't attack
he was in love with a concept
until his concept came to life
only to realise
the concept was his wife

They shoved your face into the concrete
You didn't want to change your personality
Some people cheered
Others cried
Myself, i chose no side
Forever undecided
Too caught up in my pride
Thankful that the plight
Was yours,
Not mine
Please dont hate me
For my cowardice

i used to be scared of the dark
like some are scared of horror shows
until i came to know
the shadows
are where the beautiful things grow

take me
now
before i wake
take my choice
before it's too late
i cannot learn
what you do not teach
i cannot fight
if i believe i am already defeated
take me
now
before i wake
i will believe i escaped
if you do not tell me i was taken