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Xan Abyss Oct 2014
My heart is weighted down
With the sorrows of a lifetime
And it's resting in your slender fingers
If it were to fall
And shatter into pieces
I wouldn't even linger with the cinders
And yet, here I am
My heavy heart in your tiny hands
Hoping this time it can last
The raging storm and stay intact
I want to slaughter all the shadows of your past
And desecrate the demons who still haunt you
I want to ****** every man across your path
And brutalize anyone who wants you
I am not okay
And I may never be
But all that seems to go away whenever you're with me
And still, here I am
My wretched heart in your lovely hands
Hoping this time it will last the raging storm
And stay intact
I am not okay
And I may never be
But all that seems to go away
Whenever you're with me
I am not a shining knight
Upon a noble steed
But I am someone who loves you
With every fiber of my being
So yes, here I am
And I hope you understand
My heart is in your hands
And that heart is all I am.
Something I wrote long ago for a girl who held my heart on her own.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
She is the Devil
Standing in the Doorway
Constantly reminding me
of the Debt I've yet to pay
She looks like Heaven
Divine and Catastrophic
Hellcat and Rogue Apostate
Tells me,
"There's Hell to Pay."

Gotta find a way
Gotta get away
I'm in deep too and there's Hell to Pay

She is Satan in a Red Dress
and Six-Inch Stilletto Heels
Crimson-Colored Lipstick
With matching Sharpened Nails
Her Clawmarks in my Skin
Remind me every day
That my soul belongs to Her,
and there's still Hell to Pay

Gotta find a way
Gotta get away
I'm in too deep and there's Hell to Pay

She is the One Unholy
She is the Queen of Time
Her Love Burns on Eternal in the Furnace
of my Mind
My Spirit is her Claim
From now until the End of Daze
Ours are the Hearts of Evil
And still there's Hell to Pay

Gotta find a way
Gotta get away
Running outta days until there's Hell to Pay

Leviathan Cross
Forever in Her Flesh
Her Eyes, Ablaze with Hellfire
Gaze into the Abyss
No Matter how Savagely
I Ravage Her and Damage Her
She always Returns
for yet another Massacre.

Gotta find a way
Gotta get away
Running outta days until there's Hell to Pay
A little Faustian lust poem while everyone's still in the October spirit.
Him
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
Him
Go ahead and block me out
Walk away, I understand
This sort of thing has happened before
And it will happen again
I won't cry this time because I know you already left
It's already been six months since our romance came to an end
But I so desperately wanted
To believe that this was it
That you could save me
That I would help you
But I just couldn't be Him.

Go ahead and lock me out
Of your life, like everyone does
I'll just focus on what is to come
Instead of what already was
I don't care this time because all I seem to be is a burden
Maybe this time you'll leave me alone with actions instead of just words
& about you being my Queen, well
I meant every last little bit
And I still wanna be your king
But I know I'll never be Him.

I'll never be Prince Charming,
or a Knight in Shining Armor
and I'm not looking for a Princess
(or even a monogamous partner)
I'm no hero, I'm no saint
I may even be born for sin
So I can't keep on loving you
Because you're too in love with Him.

And you've already moved on,
So it's not like this will haunt you.
But to be with you, I'd need to be Him,
and to be honest,
I just don't want to.
Good riddance to self-loathing. Welcoming self-acceptance.
Xan Abyss Dec 2014
Destiny swims in an ocean of doom
Tossed upon the waves
Monsters guarding ancient tombs
Phantoms stalk their graves
Serpents and arachnids roam
Beasts keep human slaves
In ruins of the olden world
To the outer realms of space

So you travel through space and time
But at the end of the road you'll find
Your fate is the same as mine
And one day we all will die

Your portal will show you the truth
Of how the Mighty are Doomed

In the depths of the underground
And the bottom of the sea
There are secrets hidden from the world
No one must ever see

When giant creatures ruled the land
To days still yet to be
This earth may never understand
The power within thee

So you travel through space and time
But at the end of the road you'll find
Your fate is the same as mine
And one day we all will die

Your portal will show you the truth
Of how the Mighty are Doomed
The horrors lurking in the dark
A menace worldwide

The prophet and the guardian
Are always at your side
Infernal forces hunt for you
Alive for your demise

Across the earth and in the water
To the winds up in the sky
The Prophecy foretold
Of the arrival of a Mighty One
A warrior of maximum potential
Your Destiny is old 
Ancient as time itself
Your mission is harsh and eternal

Curses linger through the ages of man
Death is eager to meet us 
Myths and legends of far away lands
Hunt to **** and eat us
Science and sorcery of death
Rally to defeat us
But we survive no matter the odds
The universe still needs us

So you travel through space and time
But at the end of the road you'll find
Your fate is the same as mine
And one day we all will die

Your portal will show you the truth
Of how the Mighty are Doomed
A metal song about Mighty Max.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
My pain turns to anger, my anger to hate
My hate becomes fire with which I create
Peace turns to passion, passion to joy
Joy into weakness through which I'm destroyed

Like a madman screaming at the wind
For crimes it could never commit
Staring at the void, I watch it ignite
The shadows drown in incendiary light

(And I am one)
One with the fire
One with the blaze
One, all and everything
I am one
One with the darkness
One with the pain
From these ashes I shall rise again!

I am fire!
You are fire!
Let us burn!
Bright together!

Into the eye of this storm of darkness
You and I, we all will fly
Into the void, into the unknown
Bound in union, fighting as one

And we are one
One with the fire
One with the blaze
One, all and everything
We are one
One with the darkness
One with the rain
And as one we will fight to remain!

I am fire
You are fire
Let us burn
Bright together

Our pain turns to anger, our anger to hate
The fire inside us we use to create
In darkness is beauty, in beauty is light
The light that will guide us through infernal night

And we are one
One with the fire
One with the blaze
One, all and everything
We are one
One with the darkness
One with the rain
And as one we will fight to remain!

I am fire!
You are fire!
Let us burn!
Bright together!

We are fire!
Raging higher!
Sing it now!
Louder than ever!
An old song I wrote about seeing the light instead of feeling the burn.
Xan Abyss Nov 2014
I never said
I would ever cease to love you.
I never said
that this was our farewell.
I never told you
that I would choose her over you
and I don't think I ever will.
She is there for me in ways that you try to be,
and she needs me too, sometimes.
it's true,
and she didn't used
to distrust you.
if you can love me with your heart,
but not your body,
Then I can do the same thing.
And my darling, I love you with all my heart
(And all my body)
But I'm not going to risk
losing everything.
There was a time,
(Remember?)
When I lost all I had,
I had just gotten it all back
and then that was the end of that.
The Wildcat with her vanishing act,
As she found a new,
More appropriate man,
Disappeared right out of my life
Right after I got cut off the first time.
And you,
(Remember?) What did you do?
You said
"I don't wanna do anything that we do,
I don't think
ever again."
and then,
I had run out of friends.
And you then ran back
to your other, better man,
Leaving me alone
all over again.
So when she came back,
When she was there,
I felt blessed but I was so scared
I was terrified
and my heart ablaze
With passion for you
nearly cost me her for good
last time.
I can't do it.
I'm not gonna risk it this time,
Princess,
but don't think for a second I don't miss you.
Every day I wish I could hold you in my arms
Tell you I love you, and kiss you.
But that's not what we ever had
our time was shared and borrowed
between each other and our lovers
and our mutual friends.
Broken yesterdays
and empty tomorrows.
I'll love you forever, even from a distance
if you love me, you'll understand.
That right now I need to stay away -
But I never said
this was the end.
Never fall in love.
Xan Abyss Nov 2014
No Justice, No Peace
If we can't get it from the Court
then we'll take it from the Streets
No Justice, No Peace
**** the Police
and what you believe!

Whatever happened to Revolution
Being the American way?
When your voice remains unheard
For which you suffer every day,
Your life is constantly stepped on,
Your rights keep getting taken away,
And in spite of the lies they spin to protect your oppressors,
You still keep the rage at bay
Because you are not
Above the Law
and neither is anyone else.
So taking matters into your own hands
Isn't going to help.
You entrust the justice system
to do what it's supposed to
Even though you know it never has
and is probably never going to.
But if you haven't done anything wrong and the Law doesn't serve you,
and only seems to defend the people who've already hurt you,
then honestly I think it's insane and completely absurd to
not only expect the People not to react,
but to honor a *curfew
.

*******
Do you hear us yet?
*******
Oh, it's inappropriate?
You don't wanna talk about it?
You don't wanna think about it?
You don't wanna deal with it?
Well guess what?
Nobody ******* does, nobody ******* would, nobody ever ******* could.
But for the people who don't look like you -
Aryan Beauty Standards
Hair of Gold, Eyes of Blue
Fair-skinned, light-skinned
European skeleton,
It was never a choice they had.

Oppression doesn't pick you
Based on qualifications
Any more than Privilege does,
If you think this case
Is not about race
You better check your Privilege, cuz.

I love my home, America
But I hate what it's become
Land of the greedy, home of the afraid
Kingdom of the Loud and Dumb
****-shaming, victim-blaming, race-hating, race-baiting
Sensationalization of the worst crimes in the nation
Religious intolerance, homophobic misogyny, blatant racial discrimination
Can't get with it, can't hang
At least not in the lynch mob sense
I am blown the **** away
at the grievous absence of common sense.

So when they lit those flags on fire
in the center of the town
I understand, and I can't blame them
the flag is truer up in flames now
And if they so decide to burn
the city to the ground,
I understand, and I can't blame them
I would wanna burn it down

*No Justice, No Peace
If we can't get it from the Court
then we'll take it from the Streets
No Justice, No Peace
**** the Police
and **** your Beliefs!
This is about what you think.
Xan Abyss May 2015
I was born into a world comprised
Of gluttony and shame
Where we gorge ourselves on lust and war
But call it inhumane
Violence and ******* are the ways we entertain
The animals within us, the demons in our brain

And as I grew older I started to notice
A new type of hunger that i couldn't quell
Desire, this fire that burns on the inside
As if every girl had me under a spell

And then it happened to me...
And then it happened some more...
And the longer I lived, the better it got,
Consuming me down to my core

(They tell me that it's evil, they tell me that I'm sick)

But,
I want to defile every angel that i see
To make them writhe and moan and scream in utter ecstasy
To see the blaze of carnal thirst like fire in their eyes
As I revel in the promised land that rests between their thighs

The beast within remains untamed, desire sets my veins aflame
This fire won't burn out and I am never satisfied
I want to feel her bliss cascade from her ***** as she screams my name
I want to be the greatest **** of her entire life

I'm insatiable and sordid
But I've caused nobody pain
In a world so cold and morbid
How else can I keep sane?

When
I want to defile every angel that i see
To make them writhe and moan and scream in utter ecstasy
To see the blaze of carnal thirst like fire in their eyes
As I revel in the promised land that rests between their thighs

I'm insatiable and sordid
But I've caused nobody pain
In a world so cold and morbid
How else can I keep sane?
I'm insatiable and sordid
But I've caused nobody pain
In a world so dead and hideous
How else can I keep sane???

Insatiable is my flame.
an old *** anthem.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Once upon a time I would have given you the world
Would have sailed the seven seas to tear the north star from the sky
Once upon a time I'd steal the fire from the gods
Just to keep you warm in the frozen morning so you could stay with me
Because once upon a time
I thought you were the one and
Once upon a time you were my center
But slowly over time I see
The monster you've become and I
Resent the fact we ever coexisted
Now it's all gone
The love I had, the flame inside
The way your gaze lit up my life
It's all gone, your once proud name
Poisoned, and burning away with the blaze
I would say that I want you to die, but in truth
I just can't seem to care
I should feel betrayed at your lack of faithfulness
But really, I'm just glad you're not here
By all means, be free from me
Keep my shirts and keep your money
Forget all of the memories
Of you, and me, and this travesty
Go find someone else to be your dad and
Go find someone else to raise your kid
Go find someone else's soul to desecrate
Infect them with madness, pollute them with hate
Go sink your fangs in someone else and
Fill them with your lies
You used to be the woman I loved, but now
You're just some ***** I despise.
I used to have an abusive ex girlfriend. This was my breakup song to her.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
there's a killer on the loose
stalking my city streets
and my biggest fear
is that it might be me

every single night
i have another dream
i see their twisted faces frozen in their final screams
and every single day carries the horrid revelation
that my mind has seen through killer's eyes in my imagination

theres a killer on the loose and i dont know what to do
so many brand new corpses that i'm afraid for you

when i close my eyes and let the black invade my sight
drift away into the vast oblivion of night
i can see their faces tense and twisted up in fright
as someone dressed up in my clothes rapes them of their life

there's a killer on the loose
and now i know it's me
this face will be the last thing
your eyes will ever see
strange phantoms lyrics.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
**** it then,
Let the strangers be scared.
I wanna bend you over a chair,
Lift up your skirt
Rip off your underwear
Wrap a hand around your throat
Grab a handful of your hair
And bury myself deep
As I feel you gasp for air.

I want to beat you, but not
out of Anger or Hate,
I want to treat you like a Queen
until you plead
to be *****.
And then I will Take You
Violate You
Invade You
Your Body
Is a Temple
I'll Pray at
And then Raze.

I want to leave you,
Drenched in sweat
Raccoon Eyed,
Hair a mess
Satisfied.

While you recover,
I'll recharge-
and like a Lover,
I'll tend your Heart.
Until you can move
Again,
And tell me you have
The Energy
And I'll throw you back down on the Bed,
With the same violent intensity.
I'll love you with a vengeance,
My battering ram at your gates
As I conquer your sacred kingdom
in this
Incendiary Embrace.

My lust for you is Oppressive,
but my Love burns brighter than All
I want to be the Tyrant of your Body -
Absolute Control.

I want to hold you down by the wrists
and stare in your eyes as you cry my name
Drink in the dance of your perfect ****
As I assail you with pleasure and pain
I long to feel the quake of your legs
As ****** consumes you again
Heavenly Daughter of Eve,
I'll ******* like a Child of Cain.
An attempt at being overtly ******, inspired by my feedback from the last one.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Life is Horror-Comedy
and sometimes Film Noir,
Other genres might be fun,
but it's just not how things are.

Too Unpredictable
for Rom-Coms
But too Mundane for Fantasy
Too much fun for Thrillers and Dramas,
not Badass enough for Action
(but almost enough Shooting Sprees)
Too many Happy Endings
To be a Tragedy
But far from Enough
to be *******

Life is ***
and Drugs
and Fear
and Love
the Need to Protect
and the Need to Spill Blood
It's Laughter
and Song
and things going Wrong
Hits on your Enemies
Hits from the ****
Hitting on the Opposite ***
Flirting with Danger
Dancing with Death
Life is...
Hatred and Violence
that Long, Awkward Silence
When you work up the Courage
to Deny them Compliance
It is Heaven
and Hell
and Voodoo Love Spells
from the Inception of Cells
to the Old Funeral Bells
There's Madness
and Sadness
and "Thank God! I'm Glad"-ness
Life is Classy
but Savage
Full of Beauty
and Damage.

Life would Honestly
be Worthless without Comedy
We'd never learn
To Rock or Roll
without the Music of the Soul
and though there's too much Torture
in everybody's Story
We must admit
without Horror
Life would be
Pretty
Boring.
The title is something I say a lot. I felt like I could probably write a poem about it. And I could!
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
In the dark we wait for death to claim us
In the confines of these rusty chains
In the shadows she destroys our hope
So beautiful and yet so hideous

A thousand dawns have come and gone
So many lives have withered
I taste the taste of hopeless air
The taste is stale and bitter

She loves to see the blood that flows
From the wounds in our weary flesh
No smile will cross her face
Until she hears us scream in pain
As the sand in the wretched hourglass fell
Such agony became my friend
For the snow white teeth in her wicked smile
Is now all I have left

My pain, it fades
My thoughts, they decay
Ignite & burn away with the sin
One look in her eyes
And I am hypnotized
By the blackness that lives therein
My skin becomes gray
My life slips away
The flickering flame dulls within
I remember my life
And am horrified
By the blackness that lives therein

And I am lost in the dark therein
Where my shadow exists no more
I don't remember why I wrote this, and I wrote it forever ago.  Is it even any good? Idk.
Xan Abyss May 2015
She was only seventeen
In a town called Mexicali

Purple lipstick, hair dyed green
Wouldn't let her leave without me

And she liked things obscene
That I won't talk about here

But her **** you wouldn't believe,
So I had to keep her around...

My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl
Her eyes lit up
When I lit up
My marijuana girl
My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl
Smoky dreams
and tequila screams...


...My Marijuana Girl...

She was a wild thing indeed
Life carried by the wind

A little wink is all she needs
To drive a holy man to sin

My bloodshot eyes were hypnotized
My head started to spin

She can blow you up or calm your heart
Like nitroglycerine

My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl
Her eyes lit up
When I lit up
My marijuana girl
My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl
Smoky dreams
and tequila screams...


...My Marijuana Girl...

*Mi chica marijuana
My marijuana girl
Lyrics.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
I want to do things to you
I'm not used to saying in public.
Not because I'm ashamed,
But because I don't wanna scare
any strangers.
Men are gross and probably shouldn't ever attempt graphic *** poetry. Am I right?
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Tonight I will fall down upon my knees
To pray before the goddess of enchanted ebony
Her divine rays of dark beauty I embrace
Bathing blissfully in her enigmatic grace

I enter the sanctum
Her sacred place of healing
Ecstasy consumes me
Enraptured by the feeling

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light upon me
Then the Love of the Black Goddess
Drowns the world around me

Tonight I worship at the Temple of Her Light
I sacrifice my flesh to the goddess shining bright
The fire in my soul erupts and sets aflame my mind
On holy nights like these when the cosmos re-aligns

I enter the sanctum
Her sacred place of healing
Ecstasy consumes me
Enraptured by the feeling

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light upon me
Then the Lust of the Black Goddess
Burns the world around me

I submit myself to Her, naked and unguarded
Prepared to be consumed and then possibly discarded
For in her presence, all the evil in our pale existence
Vanishes from memory in a single instant

I enter the sanctum
Her sacred place of healing
Ecstasy consumes me
Enraptured by the feeling

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light upon me
Then the Mists of the Black Goddess
Shroud the world around me

The Moon of the Black Goddess
Cast thy spell upon me
The Moon of the Black Goddess
Looming right above me
The Moon of the Black Goddess
I give my flesh to worship thee!
For the Moon of the Black Goddess
Is the only place
I can find peace!

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light into me
Then the Tune of the Black Goddess
Becomes the song to set me free!
Wrote this for a lover.
Xan Abyss Mar 2016
I took way too many pills tonight
And I'm driving way too fast
I'm drunk as **** and smoked too much
I'm just trying not to crash
This car is way too full
Of people and contraband
But the road is open and the night is young
So I'm gonna scorch the land

Motor head rush - My engines burning
Motor head rush - Wheels are turning
Motor head rush - Turbo mode engage
Motor head rush - this may be the day

I'm on way too many drugs right now
To be going a hundred miles
I didn't even realize until now
My passenger has me in her mouth
I'm just trying not to die
And take this car out with me
But if tonight should be our night
We go out in a blaze of glory

Motor head rush - My engines burning
Motor head rush - Wheels are turning
Motor head rush - Turbo mode engage
Motor head rush - this may be the day

If tonight should be our last
If this ride ends in disaster
I just want you all to know
How I love you so....

Motor head rush - My engines burning
Motor head rush - Wheels are turning
Motor head rush - Turbo mode engage
Motor head rush - this may be the day

This may be the day
That we die!
Lyrics for a Rogue Ogre song that was never completed.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
Desert Rose, she grows in the light of the moon
She glows like a ghost amid wandering ghouls
Beautiful and rare, she loves the desert air
and I love to see her bloom after the rain falls

Be my Tree of Life
Be my Peace of Mind
She's my Healing Light
At the end of every night

Desert Rose, her eyes of crystal-clear skyblue
I don't wanna be anywhere but here with you
Against your ivory skin, and to caress your spun-gold hair
The starlight in your smile burns right through my despair

You're the only one who understands me
And still there's sunshine in your eyes
You're the only one with whom I can be
Who I truly am inside

Be my Tree of Life
Be my Peace of Mind
She's my Healing Light
At the end of every night
Oh, darling
Be my Tree of Life
Be my Peace of Mind
She's my Healing Light
At the end of every night
the first genuine love song I've written in a while.
Xan Abyss Oct 2017
I am a Ghost
A lecherous imp with a golden heart staring from a distance at nymphs
in the blooded shine of sunset
Watching from the shadows;
Dreaming in the dark.
Desiring not to disurb
but desperately longing to be part of their world
Desire.... it is a curse
But one I am born to bear
I am a rogue
But one with love in his mineral heart
And joy he wishes to share
I dwell in a dark cave of phantom memories
Haunting me every day
I seek out Queens for company
But harbor a secret desire
to hold them as slaves
To keep them...
And ravish them....
Eternally lock them away..
To creep and crawl like an insect;
Devour the pain that they hide
Possess their body and mind...
To Physically,
Emotionally,
Mentally linger inside.
Yet, I am but a child
Though deep in our hearts, aren't we all?
And if we aren't, how tragic,
That the magic should die at all.
And still, I am a man.
A man who knows what he wants.
A man who doesn't believe in borders,
A man with a purpose,
A man who is lost.
I am an angel,
A demon,
A passionate rambler indeed,
I am a dreamer,
A midnight screamer,
A farmer sowing his seeds.
I am imagination,
Wrapped in slight intoxication,
Disguised in a young
but aging man's body,
A plain tornado of human emotions.
So I write,
For I am a writer,
and I sing, so I am a singer,
and I live to perform,
(Which makes me a performer)
Wandering blind towards a sense of identity,
But my journey has gotten no warmer.
Despite this harsh truth,
my path remains clear
& I refuse to surrender to fear.
I have a destiny,
I can see it.
Even if plagued with unusual needs.
A complex person?
Indeed.
But who am I?
No idea.
Found this poem in the notes on my phone. I don't remember why or how I wrote it.
Xan Abyss Apr 2018
I am the Great Connector
I was born to unite The Horde
I am the Great Collector
Of souls felled by my Axensword
They all call me subhuman
And revile me as a beast
But they do the same to you and
For that they'll pay the price
(No Peace)

We are strong, We are brave
Though they wish to see us caged
We are wild and Untamed
And we will never live as slaves

Conquerors, We Are One!
Same blood in different skins
At last you'll see, when the victor is me
I am the Lord of our Kin
Wastelanders, Join the March
The World will burn as we sing
When the battle is won, I'll announce to everyone
"I am the Ogre King!"

I am the Great Divider
I was born to brew up storms
I am the Annihilator
My path was forged in war
My reign began in chaos
In Bloodshed, so it ends
All this Strife has nearly left me with
No Kingdom to Defend
(Descent)

We are Violent and Enraged
Now that we have been Betrayed
There are Consequences Grave
For Manipulated Faith

Revolution, it has come!
Same blood but different sins
The Empire Falls
And all Hear the Call
For A New Order to Begin
Decapitate the Tyrants
& Slaughter those who Resist
When the battle is won,
At the top of my lungs, I'll cry
"Long Live the Ogre King!"

I am the Great Destroyer
The Throne is mine to take
I will be king at any cost
Dead nations in my wake
I am the Great Conniver
With Sinister Designs
Never cared how much is Lost
So long as what is Left is Mine
(Arise)

We are rabid and insane
From lives of misery and pain
Now that the world's ablaze
We fall into our cages

These Horrors have just begun
Same gore from separate veins
What have we done,
To our daughters and sons?
A History Bloodstained!
We threw our lives into this war,
And lost more than we gave
When the killing is done,
I'll tell everyone,
"The Ogre King is slain!"

Now Our Planet is a Grave!

"The Ogre King is Slain,
Long Live the Ogre King,
I Am
The Ogre King!"
Lately I've been inspired by the goings-on in my tumultuous homeland to start writing Epic Fantasy lyrics that double as political protest songs.
Xan Abyss Mar 2016
Shadows dance on the moonbeams,
and you can hear the screams of the souls on the old ghost road
The wild wind blows, unearthing the bones under stones in the old ghost road
The Lantern's light flickers on, still alive, never lost
Guides my way down the old ghost road
Traveling alone, riding out the cold as I brave the old ghost road

And when the moon shines like it does tonight
I love to watch them dancing
They say the departed can see you in the moonlight
And they seem to smile at me

Finding my way home
I know where I must go
Across the lands of death and snow
In the dark of the night,
By the light of the moon,
I journey on
Down the old ghost road

Lovers, warriors, troubadours, their spirits wander with me in the dust and silver mist
The stars, like purest diamonds, glistening above us, Astral sea of phantasmal bliss
The Moon, a shining goddess, blessing all the earth, her rays a tender kiss of sight
Behold!
Somehow the whole wide world is so beautiful
At the ruins of the old ghost road
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
My Attitude
most certainly
Dictates my reality
Just not your
"One-Size-Fits-All"
Personality
Some people hate dancing
And that's really OKAY.
Some people aren't readers,
Some could read all day.
Some of us don't like nightclubs or loud music
Some of us hear the beat drop
and Lose It.
You can be anybody of your own choosing,
You could be serious, aloof or amusing.
You could be social
a butterfly on fire
Or you could find your peace
in the quiet.
It doesn't matter which person you are
Because no matter what
it's a PERSON you are.
Not a machine, a computer or a doll -
And I never say never,
But please,
Never ever,
Let anyone tell you about your own soul.
And I never say never,
But please, never ever
let somebody tell you
"One Size Fits All"

Because whoever they are,
They're wrong.
Be yourself, and own that ****.
Xan Abyss Sep 2017
Your eyes are fire burning bright in the night sky
A warning I should heed but indeed, I'm too mezmorized
To turn away, face away
Escape into a love that's safe
instead I evade the soft light of day
And follow the trail of smoke to my grave
Just to spend a single day in the
Insidious grace of your embrace

Your Love fills my heart with bliss in clouds and waves
But your absence hurts like cigarette Burns, inflicted by a paramour in a fit of jealous rage
And the leftover pain seeps into my veins and seeks to drive me insane in my solitude, drowning in thoughts of you, where only death is real and only memories remain

But the moment I met you everything changed
I was no longer the monster
my past had tried to create
And though beauty may fade as suffering stays, and lingers through every recovery stage
None of the love you and I shared
Will ever mean nothing to me

Hope is for madmen who seek heaven in the Abyss
And I will love you forever  
even if this is our final kiss
Our farewell to bliss
I'll love you
Until we're both in the crypt
Found an old Poem in a notebook from years ago. Hated most of it, so I kept the stuff I liked and scrapped the rest. Added a little bit of updated content for the context of my relationship with the subject today.
Xan Abyss Aug 2016
Oceania calls to me, luring me out to sea
Calling me out to see how beautiful she
Can be in the light of the moon and the breeze
(I believe) She'll show me the way
(I believe) She'll lead me astray
(She'll take me) Out to the bay
(On my way) To Pagana LeVay

The rocks and oaks and willow trees
Somehow seem to summon me
Carry me out on the breeze
To the pond where she was mine, all mine
Upon a faded memory
The wind is my guide
As I wander outside
My heart skips a beat, but I stay
On my way to Pagana LeVay

The stars, they shine so bright tonight
The moon basking us in the love of her light
And all the signs designed
to direct my peace of mind
Are pointing with her smile
Toward the sky

Okay, okay
My love set me free
This fall to my death is my destiny
At long last, I see
You've been waiting for me
At the edge of the earth and the sea...

It's okay, it's okay
My angel is here now to take me away
My body is lost to the waves
But my soul in the wind and the rain
Calls to Pagana LeVay
Psychedelic ghost poem.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
there's a girl in the fire
beckoning me with her eyes
burning bright, rising higher
standing in the heart of a blaze
and i don't know, should i just go?
follow my bunny through her infernal hole?
standing alone in this chamber of smoke
should i obey the requests of my celestial ghost?
she's a dream that never died
casting a monochromatic light
her blue shine ripping out through the night
as i catch a glance of myself in her eyes
and there i find in reflections of time
my visage glowing in the light of her pyre
pale electric blue illumination tearing through
the raging haze of orange flames & smoke
as her voice whispers my name
involuntary, my foot moves forward
followed by the one right behind it
cold sweat dripping through every pore
desire ripping me down to my core
as i walk to my angel
untouched by the inferno
singing the songs of a happier time
my flesh is enveloped
by razornets of blazing hornets
rips and cracks and melts away
falling off my frame
but her pale electric blue embrace
is only steps away
my angel's in my arms again.... or could i be insane?
don't ask me why everything is uncapitalized. i really don't know why myself.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Darkness, it falls like a massive leaden shroud
Over this quiet valley as the dusk  infects the sky
Pleasant faces fade into the shadows of the night
As the demons of the dead and dreaming come on out to play
Howling at the moon
Swarming through the streets
Lurking in the shadows
On this night of Halloween
Carve the faces, light the candles
Offerings must be made
In the cold October moonlight
To the Phantoms of Samhain
If you fail
If these ghouls are not appeased
You will be...
Taken
by the spirits of the dead!!!
The Tempter's Chosen
And kin to the Grim Reaper
Children of the Darkest Night
Steal mortal souls to feast on
Ghastly transformations
Amidst accursed corpses
We are possessed by the evil of tonight's demonic forces!
Carve the faces, light the candles
Offerings must be made
In the cold October moonlight
To the Phantoms of Samhain
If you fail
If these ghouls are not appeased
You will be...
Taken by the spirits of the dead!!!
By the light of the orange moon
In the dark of the purple night
We linger in these shadows
And wait there, until the time is right...
On this night of Halloween
We roam your city streets
And among the masks of plastic
We can finally be free
So carve those faces, light your candles
Offerings still must be made
In the cold October moonlight
To us Phantoms of Samhain
And if you do not heed these words
And refuse these simple deeds
Well then, my friend
You will be,
Taken by the spirits of the dead!
And if you do not heed these words
And refuse these simple deeds
Well then,
My friend,
you will be
Taken ...
Taken to the grave!
Taken...
Taken far away!
Taken...
*Taken by we, the Phantoms of Samhain!!!
Largely inspired by Trick 'r Treat, and also just the late October Halloween vibe.
Xan Abyss Aug 2014
my eyes are little television screens
projecting into my brain
still life images that capture my home
in all its unwavering solitude
the music curls around me
i feel the devil's blood in my veins
as a satanic elvis serenades me
with old refrains i can relate to
i lament my present foray
into social media poetry
but i'm much too intoxicated
for an emotional reponse
i choke down this rip of mad man OG
a sip of coffee mixed with E&J;
and wonder if hank bukowski
would have been a hit on facebook
had he emerged today.
it began as a crossfaded facebook status, and became a crossfaded hellopoetry post.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
the windshield is caked
with dust and decay
the air is harsh with sand and pollen
my skin is cracking in the fiery sun
and not a single drop has fallen

the Devil spins a dustbowl of sin, suffering and desperation
the crops are dying
and the children are crying
and still we lie to ourselves
about our dire situation

PRAY FOR RAIN
CLEANSE OUR PAIN
WASH THE FILTH AND DIRT AWAY
PRAY FOR RAIN
CLEAR THE STAINS FROM THE AIR
SO WE CAN BREATHE AGAIN

...is it enough yet, to change our decadent ways?
if mother earth is angry, we should listen to what she says

the fish keep dying out
from the lakes drying up
the wildfire situation worsens
our earth is hurting
as the world keeps on turning
and everything we know starts to burn

PRAY FOR RAIN
CLEANSE OUR PAIN
WASH THE FILTH AND DIRT AWAY
PRAY FOR RAIN
CLEAR THE STAINS FROM THE AIR
SO WE CAN BREATHE AGAIN
road trip lyrics. written in a la quinta hotel in fresno, on a thanksgiving trip through california. there was a giant billboard in a central valley town like porterville or merced or something, that simply read PRAY FOR RAIN in giant letters. it just smacked of old world, dustbowl desperation, and gave me an idea for a song.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Wolf whistles
And crocodile smiles
Acting like an animal
has never been my style.
I don't
Cat call
or creeper crawl
I'd rather slither on into your mind
I want to
Haunt you
Until you're mine
All Mine

I don't need
to violate your body
To consume
all of your thoughts
I don't need
to victimize you
To dominate you
Or be your God.

I'll attach me to each memory
You cherish in your life
Your mind I will monopolize
And then the world before your eyes

You set me ablaze
So you'll be my prey
Until I'm the central figure
of your story
Don't be afraid -
But there are many ways
A man can be
Predatory
The dating game is treated a lot like hunting. So I decided to write a little something on the nature of being a heterosexual male approaching a female stranger.
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
Quasimodo, ringer of the bells
Quasimodo, hidden in his hell
Watching from the bell tower as life is squandered daily
Nobody seems to understand the truth of human frailty
But there they chime again!
It's that time again!
You know Quasimodo's still alive
Because the Bells are right on time

In the shadows of Notre Dame
A monster stalks our halls
A giant, hulking, hungry mass
Searching for ****** girls
It's the truth, don't you believe it?
The beast is out there creeping
It's much easier to see
than the demons we all keep
Under lock and key
Inside you and me

Quasimodo, ringer of the bells
Quasimodo, hidden in his hell
Watching from the bell tower as life is squandered daily
Nobody seems to understand the truth of human frailty
But there they chime again!
It's that time again!
Quasimodo's still alive
Because the Bells are right on time

A monster forged in hate
was a man who died for love
and though he suffered the slings and arrows
of the cursed world he lived above
Quasimodo died
as Quasimodo lived
Believing that the gift of love
was the best gift we could give.

Quasimodo, ringer of the bells
Quasimodo, dying in this cell
Lying in the crypt with arms wrapped tight 'round his beloved
Embracing his dark angel as eternally as love is
But it's that time again!
Why don't they chime this time?
The Halls of Notre Dame are still
Quasimodo must have died...
An ode to the 'Modo.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Broken.
A swirling emptiness within.
A burning void.
Chaotic darkness.
The fires of hell burn in my heart.
My broken heart.
I loved you too hard.
And it burned us away.
So now here I am at 3:00am.
Alone.
With red eyes in Vegas.
There were too many things.
And too many people.
And your good nature was too highly rewarded.
Enough to make you flee.
To scare you away.
Run you away.
Burn this bond into dust.
And watch it blow away.
I know that you're gone.
I feel it in my soul.
I miss you.
But you've moved on.
And my heart ignites.
Like the veins of a fiending ******.
Or the City of Gomorrah.
Struck to oblivion by God's Wrath.
Because I know you're gone.
And the fire's warmth has grown to an inferno.
An incendiary maelstrom that consumes my every impulse.
Because now you're gone.
My heart burned you away.
And you vanished once again.
So I'll just be waiting here.
Broken.
Alone.
With red eyes in Vegas.
More sad sack poetry from the past.
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
Confined inside the tundra
Frozen beneath the dirt
Uncovered by a digging team
Unleashed upon the earth
Ancient in Origin
In Nature, a War Begins
Prehistoric Breed
Awakens now to Feast

From the soils of Lapland
It is freed
Citizens of Denmark!
Run and flee!
Terrible Lizard
Frenzied Feed
New Dragonslayers
Make it Bleed

It stands five stories tall
Armored scales, unbreakable
Weaving a path of destruction and hate
Nothing but death in its wake
Scandinavia meets her fate
Progress made a fatal mistake
Acid venom and neon flames
We will never forget the name...

Reptilicus!
Rising...
High North Kaiju
Reptilicus!
Rising...
It will find you...
New season of MST3K on Netflix!
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
I gave you the benefit of the doubt
And you corrected me
Clean and disease-free freak
Who still infected me
I extended my heart with both arms
And you rejected me
And now you try to justify
Why you neglected me.
But whatever, right?
Go live your life.
Be YOUR favorite girl, not mine.
Yes I care, I may even cry-
But all my wounds are healed with time.
Stealing hearts is not a crime,
****, why does everything have to rhyme?
There's no rhyme, no reason to this feeling of internal treason
Nothing to say, nothing to do, you're not mine and I don't belong to you
But this feeling of betrayal, I ******* hate it
I wish I could shake it
Or even just take it
Like all the other *******.
But you, you were special
I don't know why you stand out
You were so ******* special
Like a preacher with his hands out
Reaching for the heavens,
Calling out 'Salvation'
Roping me in with your relentless charisma.
I really hate it, can barely take it
The way you made yourself so addictive
So now at the prospect of your eternal absence
My veins itch with fire from the inside out
The creature I slowly become in your shadow
Will leave us with nothing,
Our ambitions devoured.
I'm gonna be honest, I totally forgot about writing this.
Xan Abyss Feb 2017
Ride the Serpent, baby
Into the Great Sea
Ride the Devil, Angel
Into the Deep Sleep
I came from outside
With a universal mind
And you and I can fly, my darling
We need only to die

Ride the Serpent, baby
Into the Great Sea
Ride the Devil, Angel
Into the Deep Sleep
My friends on the inside
Pour us fountains of red wine
"Alive!" She cried, and I was mystified
By the crimson in her eyes

Persian Night, babe - fly with me
See the light, babe? Cry with me
I wanna taste your fearful tears
Show me your eyes and open wide
When the ancient witch appears
We can howl like beasts of the wild

Come back, LA Woman
I'm sick of doin' time
Is this the end?
Can someone find me reason for a rhyme?

"We are but clowns in a cosmic circus, degrading ourselves for a silent, uncaring audience. Their Collective gaze dances across our fragile flesh like so many knives on fire. We bleed. We burn. Our healing begets new ailments. We continue to suffer. We continue to survive. We never stop smiling. The circus is all we have. To lose the horror is to lose the Majesty as well. We must not quit. The lights have not gone down, and we hope they never will. We cannot afford to lose our audience. The Show Must Go On."

Persian Night, little angel!
Fly with me!
See the light, little angel?
Die with me!
I want you here, obscene
For all eternity
For I long to hear the scream of the butterfly!

So turn off the light!
Turn off the light!
Turn off the light and see!
Turn off the lights!
Turn off the lights!
Turn off the lights for me!

...Ride the Serpent, baby
Into the Great Sea
Ride the Devil, Angel
Into the Deep Sleep
Turn off the light and climb inside my universal mind
And finally we can be free
An homage to Jim Morrison.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
She is the Raven
of my nocturnal ravening
When the silence and the darkness
of the night become too maddening
She is there,
At my door
Echoing her "Nevermore"
Through Her Eyes,
My Soul Explored
As Phantoms of Old Wars
Roam the tides of the raging storm
On the Night's Plutonian Shore

Woeful, she implores
Me to forget my sweet Lenore
The Ghost I loved before
My Raven sang her "Nevermore"

The Songs and Scents of Seraphim
Linger in my Chamber
Is it that,
Or the Ichor of Madness
Which enforce my strange behavior?

My Raven's claws are resting
On a pallid bust of Pallas
Her black majesty infesting
My infernal, somber palace

And my eyes with fire, gleaming
from the Whispers that are Screaming
At the Shadows of the Demons
Who are Dreaming
Plotting, Scheming
Spirit Fiendish
She can see it
My Flesh keeps Hell beneath it
My Ghastly, Grim and Ancient Raven
Feels my heart get ripped to pieces

And yet  - I still may not believe
This Bird of Prey
Could bring me peace
She flutters with
Unearthly ease
As the wind outside mangles the trees
I see her there, in my despair
Divine darkness chokes the air
Her ever spirit-piercing stare
I feel upon me everywhere

And as I kneel upon the floor
I watch her nest above my door
And I find myself longing for
My stately Raven
From the Saintly Days of Yore
To Haunt me now,
and Forevermore.
All these Raven-inspired pieces inspired me.
Xan Abyss Apr 2018
She dances like a diamond in the wind
And sings like a symphony of birds
She knows the ways of Magick
And how to Summon Shadows
with her words
Her blades are like a part of every limb they are attached to
A Natural-Born Performer
with Unusual Tattoos

In every town, she is found
Enchanting
The Raven-Haired Metal Maiden
Wilder Lore is always born all around her
But no matter where she goes, she never stays long

Silver Girl in the Circus of the Moon
The Song and the Dance & the Smile of Doom
A Jester of Death & a Friend of the Tomb
Silver Girl in the Circus of the Moon

Her Kiss of Steel, most deadly
As Swift and Silent as she is Serene
Seductive & Bloodthirsty
She Slays with Grace like a poison dream
One look can **** you faster than a dagger to the throat
But she prefers to Wage her Wars through the Sorcery of Notes

In every town, she is found
Enchanting 
The Raven-Haired Metal Maiden
Wilder Lore is always born all around her
But no matter where she goes, she never stays long 

Silver Girl in the Circus of the Moon
The Song and the Dance & the Smile of Doom
A Jester of Death & a Friend of the Tomb
Silver Girl in the Circus of the Moon

Red is the Color
Of the Lust in Her Eyes
Artistic Brilliance
In taking Wicked Lives
Young & Old
Lowborn or High
Of All who might Fight
None will Survive

One look can **** you faster
Than a thousand burning arrows
One song will make you hers
For better or for worse
One dance can mean disaster
Or a majestic miracle
She can be a Blessing
And she can be the Curse
New lyrics about a character im working on.
Xan Abyss May 2015
Good Christian Woman
You heavenly creature
You look so good that the beast within me wants to eat you
Sweet holy honey
Let me slither into your view
I wanna sink my fangs deep into your forbidden fruit

I am the snake in the grass of your garden
Let my venom poison your mind
I have always been inside you
Trust me, leave your chastity behind

Hey! Good Christian Lady!
What are you afraid of?
Come here, I wanna show you what the Devil's kind are made of!

Good Christian Woman
Give yourself 
unto me
This is my blood you drink and this is my body you taste
My ****** Mary
I wanna be your God
You act pure but I know what you want behind that facade

I am the snake in the grass of your garden
Let my venom poison your mind
I have always been inside you
Trust me, leave your chastity behind

Hey! Good Christian Lady!
What are you afraid of?
Come here, I wanna show you what the Devil's kind are made of!
Hey! Heavenly baby! 
Let me drive you crazy
I wanna drag you down with me into the depths of Hades
Lyrics.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
Solitude defines us.
When our spirits are colliding, and we crash into the silence
of Nothing.
We are not
what we eat,
how we dress,
or who we love,
we are chaos and electric meat
our weary bones,
collapsed with madness.
Left Alone, our fragile souls ignite
and many wither...
As the flames of isolation
reduce the blaze to a glimmer
Til the fires have been weakened
enough to destroy.

Our Souls,
Left to Wander,
Lost in the Aether...

Our Passing Thoughts,
Preserved Eternally,
behind tiny glass windows,
inside little plastic boxes.

We hold this glass over our flames, and suffocate the fires.
Planned Obsolescence: Our Model Has Expired.
more ramblings about something affecting me at some other time in my life found in an old notebook.
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
I promise myself
you'll break
if I keep pushing hard enough.

You are an angel of liberation
How could you ever love **** so hateful?
It must be a lie, it must be fake
But I can make it true if I break you

Heavenly creature, let this creature come to you
Smother you and shovel all his wretched love in you
The way a golden goddess glows, mortals always follow
And only through destruction could she love a fiend so hollow

At your weakest, I strike
A predator in love
I convince myself you'll feel the same
If I damage you enough

I will teach you to love me
So that you can teach me why
What a Demon's meaning is
In an Angel's Eyes
A metaphorical self portrait of the obsessive, destructive, vile lunatic I am.
Xan Abyss Jan 2016
I'm the boogeyman in your closet
I'm the creep hiding under your bed
I'm a twisted, broken damage case in an ugly world of dread

The Secrets that we keep
Behind the tinted glass
are diseases growing in the deep,
Beneath the painted masks

It's a strange, strange world
We've all been forced into
But none of this compares
to the Horror within me and you

HATE ME SO I KNOW IT'S REAL
FEED ME PAIN, I NEED TO FEEL
BETRAY, ERASE AND VIOLATE ME
THIS STRANGE WORLD WILL DESECRATE ME

How far can we take this?
How far will it go?
I can't see the future
Through the Pains of these windows

I'm waiting for the rains to come
Wash us all away
Waiting for the desert storm
To bring the winds of plague

It's a strange, strange world,
is it not?
Found this in a notebook. Angsty.
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
Trapped in a cavernous haze
A blazing inferno which burns on for days
Relentless, eternal
Incendiary waves
And you stand no chance of escape

Death by Stoning!
Buried in Smoke and Rock
Never Knowing
Where it all went wrong

Dwelling in a hellish abyss
Looking for the way you came in
But you're lost as your cause
And time gives no pause
To those barricaded within

Death by Stoning
Apocalyptic Revelation
All is Burning
Succumb to Smoke Inhalation

When the world is on fire
And the flames are only growing higher
Then try to ride the dragons thunder
And let it drag you under

Dying an ethereal death
Laughing at the chaos
And mayhem you left
Taking that final breath
Say Goodbye to suffering
with one final step

Death by Stoning
Apocalyptic Revelation
All is Burning
Succumb to Smoke Inhalation
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
Honey-sweet blasphemy, touch like ****** poetry
Scratches, bites and ecstasy - look at what you do to me!

Sweet Devil, my love
Sweet Devil above
Sweet Devil below, come unto me
Sweet Devil , oh my
Sweet Devil, so fine
Sweet Devil, are you in love with me?

Feline, non-divine, I love the way I make you shine!
Kiss me briskly, you frisky little ***** of mine!

Sweet Devil my love
Sweet Devil above
Sweet Devil below, come unto me
Sweet Devil , oh my
Sweet Devil, so fine
Sweet Devil, are you in love with me?

Bloodstains on my bedsheets
Clawmarks in my back
You're a savage - I'm a beast
Have you ever been ****** like that?
Rogue Ogre lyrics.
Xan Abyss May 2015
Have you ever seen a tapdancer slip?
They smile but their eyes glaze over
Because they know
They've ruined the show
And it eats them up on the inside

Reminds me of you and everything you do
All the lies you'll defend to the grave
All you really are and everything I see
I can tell, to your past, you're a slave

So dance little tapdancer, dance
Dance little tapdancer, dance
Dance little tapdancer, dance

One day you will slip and fall
And it will end once and for all

Have you ever seen the look in my eye
When I see through all your *******?
You know I know it's just a matter of time
Til you make the wrong move and slip

I will be there, of this you can be sure
To see you fall flat on your face
I am aware, of all the pretty lies
The world will see you disgraced

So dance little tapdancer, dance
Dance little tapdancer, dance
Dance little tapdancer, dance

One day you will slip and fall
And it will end once and for all

And when you hit the ground
Don't you dare speak my name
This is just what happens when
You try to lie & cheat the game

And when you are alone
You'll hear a voice inside
A laugh that chills your soul
You'll know that voice is mine

So dance for their smiling faces, tapdancer
Dance, while you still can
You know the phrase, the show must go on
Don't stop or you'll ruin the act

Just dance, little tapdancer, dance
Dance, little tapdancer, dance
Dance, little tapdancer, dance

Soon enough you'll slip and fall
So be prepared to lose it all.
spoiler alert: they slipped.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Times are tough and tensions fierce
Nothing's rare as love
Our world is on the cusp of change
So thanks for giving up
Oh, you freshman Wiseman
Oh, sophomore sage
Thank you for sharing the wisdom
You've gained in your old age
"Our generation has failed"
You say, observer that you are
"We have nothing to take pride in
Like the generations before"
Oh, you teenage prophet
Your knowledge knows no bounds
Our generation is hopeless
Or at least that's how it sounds
In 14 years of living
It seems you have assessed
Your generation's future
And with great success
At 14 you knew equality was a pipe dream of the past
Hatred and bigotry are the only things that last
You're already too jaded for beauty or romance
Your generation failed before it even had a chance
So thanks for giving up before you can even drive a car
For quitting before you're old enough to vote or go to war
Throwing in the towel before you're allowed to drink at the bar
Waving the white flag before the battle even starts
I had dreams in my generation
We had ideas for my generation
We did things, in my generation
For things we believed would help my generation
But my generation is still very young
The battle's barely started but that means it can be won
So I can only imagine how yours must feel
If you've already given up
So thanks for the surrender, really
I'm sure it's all that could be done
Giving up must have been so much harder than
Finding something to believe in.
Some kid posted some self-important poem about how 'TOTES ******* THIS GENERATION IS, DAWG!!!' and I felt like writing a reply.
Xan Abyss Sep 2017
disappointing morning,
i woke up to find that i survived another night
some would call me foolish
to feel betrayed by my own waking eyes
but i could sense what was coming next, the flames of death that burn inside me
with every breath and every step, i'm left to waste away in silence

but i'm not trying to bring you down
and i don't mean to complain
but sometimes i wish you could understand
our days together are not the same

nobody cares, nobody hears
when you're screaming in the dark
when you're drowning in your tears
nobody's there
no one appears
you're just left alone in your empty home
to sail on through the years

though the weather may be great today
you and i are feeling different ways
though the sun may shine and the grass is green
on the inside all i can do is scream
and i'm well aware that you can't relate
you remind me with every word you say
and i know you only want to help
but I still just want to **** myself

and i'm not trying to bring you down
and i don't mean to complain
but sometimes i wish you could understand
our days together are not the same
our days together are not the same

nobody cares, nobody hears
when you're screaming in the dark
when you're drowning in your tears
nobody's there
no one appears
you're just left alone in your empty home
to sail on through the years

today is my last chance to join the 27 club
will i decide to make it,
or throw it all away for love?
Wrote this just now, in a state of profound depression triggered by waking up on the last and final day before my 28th birthday.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
There's an animal caged inside of me
Staring at the world with a ravenous gaze
But it can taste the air of liberty
Whenever I see her face...

My blood ignites with lust
My spirit burns for her
The animal escapes its timid human cage
When I hear the way she sings
When I hear the way she speaks
When I hear the things she says to me
When she tells me what she needs
Her need...

She said,
"Dominate me, desecrate me
Take me, break me, make me yours
Make me beg, make me plead
As I crawl toward you on all fours
Dominate me, violate me
Be the master that I need"
Sordid wishes whispered to me
In darkness, lust and pleasure sweet...

Will you set the beast within me free
To feast upon your dark beauty?

With a wild look she sets my soul on fire
My mind is engulfed in the flames of desire
My primitive nature tears its way
Out of the shadows and into the fray

Be mine, all mine, my angel of the night
Be mine and satisfy the animal inside

And once again she is mine
My unclad seraph divine
The voracious flame in her eyes
Guiding my way through the night
And once again I am hers
As the civilized side of me burns
And the beast in me has emerged
To feast upon her every curve

Will you set the beast within me free
To devour your beauty?
We drown in these waves of ecstasy
Passionately, sinfully
With a seductive look across your face
And the way your touch awakens me
You set the beast within me free
To ravish you eternally...
I wrote this for a classy older lady.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
She is like a fire in my soul, I crave her
Flesh against flesh, only she livens me
A slave to my lust, entranced by her beauty
I have a need to see her in pain
And in my mind, these visions I have of her
Kneeling before me, expectantly waiting
With bruises and bites, the marks of my love
Unsatisified, my longing increases

An ordinary name turns to a divine symphony
When uttered, but only with her in mind
This goddess I must make my slave
Though she'll be forever the one in control

Waking dreams of sordid acts
Fill my mind each night and day
I close my eyes and watch her body writhe
With agony and ecstasy
I pull her closer into me
And feel a pleasure so intense I wonder if I've died

She begs me to call her a *****
My hands around her neck
As I feel each breath travel in and out
And study the curve of her back

Consumed and enthralled, she whispers my name
My name is the sound of victory
Dark queen of desire, let us bathe in this fire
Of passion burning blissfully

In this, our inferno of celestial sin
Where unbridled lust meets uncovered skin
Her deafening rapture that shakes her throughout
Is all that can quell my burning within
This was one of my first 'lust odes' ever written, and it was written for/about a 'lesbian.'
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
She reigned from high above, in a castle on the hill
She bathed in ****** Blood for youth
And for a thrill
Her talons roamed the countryside
In the dark of night
Driven mad by her obsession
with Eternal Life

The Countess,
Elizabeth Bathory
Come back to me
Blood Countess
Elizabeth Bathory
At last you'll see...

Her spirit wanders here, you can see her by the moon
They say you can feel her near before the strike of doom
Her name creates an air of fear
She stalks us in our dreams
On misty nights so still and clear
You can hear the victims scream

Terror upon the Earth!
Demon of Noble Birth!
Royal Witch - Gore Fetishist
Bleed us for all we're worth...
ELIZABETH! BATHORYYYYY!
Xan Abyss Apr 2017
Ian Garrick, he sailed the Seven Seas
or Captain Redbeard, as he's known to you and me
He loved riches, as well as flesh and wine
But death and destruction are what filled most of his time

Captain Redbeard, despised and feared
Ian Garrick, he died at sea
The Crimson Captain, he came to be
The Dread Phantom Pirate King
Without Mercy

The King’s Commander, the mightiest to sail
Remembered just by title in his enemy's folktale
Died in battle, attacked to no avail
But still saw the captain fall
Beyond the Pale

His eyes were gold as fire
Demise, his sole desire
His eyes were gold as fire
Demise, his soul desired

In nightmares, Ian Garrick lives
Captain Blood-N-Gore
The images his name still gives
of Horror, Hell and War
Are bound to silent darkness
In the Depths of Nevermore
Until a poor fool summons them
In suffering, Reborn
Part of a much larger literary piece I'm working on.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Once upon a time there was a lonely creature
Mind always shrouded in darkness
Hopeless was he, without a prayer for salvation
Dwelling forever in the abyss

But then one glorious afternoon
An angel's light broke through the gloom
They were both far from home
In a land they didn't know
She held out her hand
And asked him to follow

And the demon loved an angel
She brought salvation to his pain
The demon loved an angel
She was his white rose in the rain
The demon loved an angel
His heart no longer black
The demon loved an angel
But she could never...love him back

They journeyed together in a far off land
Where all they had was each other
It was there amongst forests and lakes
The one fell in love with the other

The demon and the angel, together but alone
The demon's cold and bitter heart, no longer made of stone
The angel brought him peace
Showed love to a beast
From his pain emancipated
From his sorrow, now released

And the demon loved an angel
She brought salvation to his pain
The demon loved an angel
She was his white rose in the rain
The demon loved an angel
His heart no longer black
The demon loved an angel
But she could never...love him back

They knew they had to return home
But he could not say goodbye
The thought of losing her forever
Ripped through him inside

But in the end, they parted ways
And he returned home
Back to the abysmal gloom
Once again alone
Before long she disappeared
Never to be found
Then the pain, the sorrow and loss
Pulled his soul back down...

And to this day he wonders why
Why he couldn't say goodbye
And to this day he's lived a life
Of joy and sorrow, peace and strife
But since that day he's watched the stars
And can't forget the ancient scars
Try as he might, he can't let go
Of the day so long ago....

That the demon loved an angel
She brought salvation to his pain
The demon loved an angel
She was his white rose in the rain
The demon loved an angel
His heart no longer black
The demon loved an angel
But she could never love him back
I wrote this when I was 16. It' the best thing I wrote at that age.
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