“I laugh when I’m sad,”
I said.

And then
I giggled
Softly.

It is 6 AM
And the light of the morning
spilling through the cracks of the blinds
is a bittersweet reminder
that yet another day has passed
and I am still here.
I can't help but think
with each rising sun,
that maybe,
just maybe,
I will be okay.

I’m addicted to you
The very act of talking to you sends toxins through my brain
Some may call them oxytocin,
I call to poison

They say that talking to you sends an oxytocin rush to the brain,
The happy hormone
And with that I’m addicted.

Stuck with thoughts of you
A lasting memory coursing through my veins where you one ran through

Blood replaced by you

You sustain me

I don’t want to stop this addiction
It’s the only thing that keeps me living

It’s the finest act of self destruction
Choosing to get addicted to you

Knowing that I am and yet doing nothing to stop it

Breathing in the sweet toxins I’ve grown to love

You’ll be the death of me
As addiction takes its victim
So will you too

Snowflakes draped,
landscapes of paper
froze opaque.

Vacating
sacred spaces
forsaking each and every station
seeking safest places.

Alienation shaping faces
of white dunes elevated,
night soon erases
fading traces illuminated,
lighted by moon phases;
glacier's pace excruciating,
frostbitten, frigid
in an aching stasis.

But I awaken from sedation,
summer's warmth embraces;
June not even undertaken
so I await and ruminate
in patience.

Give me that sweet soul-******* blues,
Where my heart drops,
My mood drops,
Quicker than a stone in a well of *****.

Wail out to me that poor county tune,
With the man who lost everything,
Save for his heartache and a guitar,
Where he tells me of that bad juju.

Caress me with that sad ballad,
Of that woman who you love unconditionally,
Who can't give you what you need,
Where you can't ever get back that piece of your heart,
A piece that will forever be wilted and grey.

I'll drink it up,
A sponge that is fit to absorb it,
I'll do it all live long day,
I live for it,
Maybe it's a subtle masochism,
To hold my own pains at bay.

Heart ache,
invitation to communication
breakdown I take,
stakes it’s claim in
vacated real estate;
warms after winter
with a shiver and shake.

Laying naked, awake,
my eyes on the nape
of your neck as you slept,
every breath held the depth
of a lake.

I stay;
mouth, a maw agape-
brain a cage no animal escapes.
All these words in mind,
I still can’t find the right way to say...
can’t we just lay around another day?
I know you can’t stay
but I won’t let the memories fade
and I would trade all the sun for the shade
if only one more night were made.