I left my soul here somewhere
have you seen it?
black leather cover
some blank pages
but most scribbled
with illegible fountain pen ink
a desperate hand
searching for meaning out
of the darkness of light
it's not that important really
I just can't live without it

This is not a time to open the old notebooks,
When running through my mind happy thoughts
It's a beautiful life, and a beautiful ride that taught
You are not the only valuable I always thought

Happy thoughts, for them I long fought
They kept me away from the old notebooks,
Would I be the person who I am today as it stands
I hold way too many valuables on this ride as she hands

I'd do anything to take up space
in her notebook.
Almost anything.
Close to anything.
Most positively not that, but close to that.
A wobbly fall or ignoring a crowd of people.
walking through a double door you’d normally
have no problem walking though.
Most definitely the kind of mistake
that leaves you paralyzed.
Unable to move, taste, or breathe freely.
Paralyzed & left between the pages
she comes back & visits often.
Pages I have to relive every time I see her face.
If she turns her notebook sideways the blue lines
become a jail cell.
If she turns her notebook long ways the blue lines
become a pair of blinds & I fall.
Shifting through the pages until I hit the bottom.
I'd do anything to take up space
in her notebook.
Almost anything.
Close to anything.
Most positively not that, but close to that.
Unless she adds caution tape to the elevator shaft
Of the next skyscraper she draws.
Or maybe I'll just take the stairs

Climb that hill
My teachers said
When they saw the words on the page

I climb the hill now
With the words in my head
And a notebook as my stage

The fragile spine breaks
As you read the words
Silenced by my pen

you cant always make pain leave.
it knows its directions.
it knows how to follow you home.
pain knows its way to your sheets.
it knows which side of the pillow is colder.
if it ever visits you tonight
just let it in,
lead it to the blank pages
of a notebook.
there,
it will stay.
between these lines,
this is where it stays.

My brain is a middle school notebook
Every day I write your name inside
With random sketches the cover holds in
For emotions I can’t easily hide

My heart is a jelly pen
A schoolyard craze, of that there’s no doubt
It pins my last name to you in my middle school notebook
And as costly as it is, I pray it won’t run out