"terrorized" poems
he came to the door one night wet thin beaten and
terrorized
a white cross-eyed tailless cat
I took him in and fed him and he stayed
grew to trust me until a friend drove up the driveway
and ran him over
I took what was left to a vet who said,"not much
chance...give him these pills...his backbone
is crushed, but it was crushed before and somehow
mended, if he lives he'll never walk, look at
these x-rays, he's been shot, look here, the pellets
are still there...also, he once had a tail, somebody
cut it off..."
I took the cat back, it was a hot summer, one of the
hottest in decades, I put him on the bathroom
floor, gave him water and pills, he wouldn't eat, he
wouldn't touch the water, I dipped my finger into it
and wet his mouth and I talked to him, I didn't go any-
where, I put in a lot of bathroom time and talked to
him and gently touched him and he looked back at
me with those pale blue crossed eyes and as the days went
by he made his first move
dragging himself forward by his front legs
(the rear ones wouldn't work)
he made it to the litter box
crawled over and in,
it was like the trumpet of possible victory
blowing in that bathroom and into the city, I
related to that cat-I'd had it bad, not that
bad but bad enough
one morning he got up, stood up, fell back down and
just looked at me.
"you can make it," I said to him.
he kept trying, getting up falling down, finally
he walked a few steps, he was like a drunk, the
rear legs just didn't want to do it and he fell again, rested,
then got up.
you know the rest: now he's better than ever, cross-eyed
almost toothless, but the grace is back, and that look in
his eyes never left...
and now sometimes I'm interviewed, they want to hear about
life and literature and I get drunk and hold up my cross-eyed,
shot, runover de-tailed cat and I say,"look, look
at this!"
but they don't understand, they say something like,"you
say you've been influenced by Celine?"
"no," I hold the cat up,"by what happens, by
things like this, by this, by this!"
I shake the cat, hold him up in
the smoky and drunken light, he's relaxed he knows...
it's then that the interviews end
although I am proud sometimes when I see the pictures
later and there I am and there is the cat and we are photo-
graphed together.
he too knows it's ******** but that somehow it all helps.
20.4k
His strong hands gripped me everywhere, he knew my sensitive places.
My eyes shone due to my intense obedience and humiliation.
I started to perspire in an excitable way.
My legs began to shake.
I could feel his affection through his endless kiss.
I felt intimidated.
He loved me.
I can still feel his indomitable hands around me, he knows my vulnerable spots.
My eyes glisten from my potent passiveness and embarrassment.
I break out in nervous sweats.
My legs are trembling.
I can feel his devotion in an infinite smack.
I feel terrorized.
He's attached to me.
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 6:15 PM UTC
It hurts so bad
Not the pain of today
Not even the pain of yesterday
Maybe the pain of a lifetime ago
Not any less
Definitely more
My adult mind is realing
Punishing the little girl I was
The little girl who accepted so much
Fought so little
Torn apart by what I could have done
Beaten down by what i should have done
Terrorized by what I didnt do
Haunted by what I did
I survived
I am alive
But when will I start living
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 12:49 AM UTC
Today I accidentally saw a preview of; The News;
a disabled sixteen-year-old girl, a victim of abuse
god
The accused is a priest. A round man in a long black cassock
And a snip view from mass of another priest plays shortly
My face turns green as my mood turns blue
He says he has a holy feeling, that the accusations aren’t true.
A cult; /kʌlt/ noun
‘a system of religious veneration and devotion directed towards a particular figure or object.’
We show our devotion, we kneel and give thanks
He applies lotion, looks at a child and wanks.
god
Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and to the respect of those beliefs.
My belief is that no human is superior to another human.
A priest is only a man.
And this man in the long black cassock had a plan.
And this child will remain terrorized forever.
People should be held accountable for their actions.
Women’s lives are not to be of similar value to male satisfactions.
An article on ‘The year of ‘Times Up’ and ‘Me Too’ movements has been a dangerous year for men.’
Every year from the beginning of time has been a dangerous year for a woman.
Innocent men are not in danger.
I was sexualized and assaulted at the age of eleven. #MeToo
I wasn’t wearing a short skirt. I wasn’t drunk. I wasn’t provocative.
I was playing chase.
For years after that game of chase
I had nightmares featuring his face
This is not your place to say this year is dangerous, for men.
Times Up
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 3:48 PM UTC
Divine Minds Transcend
(First experience with N,N-Dimethyltryptamine also known as DMT)
Breathe in..Breathe out
Suddenly a rushing river of colorful static bounced off my chest
instantly a wounded soul I gasped vigorously
A count down so unfamiliar
I panicked and thrashed unwillingly
but there was nothing to hold on to
I feared it was to late
to deny this life full of fear
to accept I was afraid
Little did I understand
today I was about to see things clear
A violent pulsating thunder clapped loud
on my left the guides voice rang
"It's time to let go now"
on my right a gentle voice sang
"It's alright, breathe slow"
Peace fell on me for I was not alone
so I finally let go
and opened my minds eye
then vanished into the rabbit hole
The room fluttered, pulsated then streaked past me
A billion nuclear bombs inside my right eye
a warm embrace from death in my left
My mind and soul began to stretch
I was staring into a shattered void
A blazing spectacle terrorized with fear
stuttering shivers of a twinkling vortex
Wrapped in a celestial glow
the heavens reflected my thoughts like a mirror
I lost all sense of time
as new energy began to flow
Two alien beings sitting by my side
A vast ocean glow bright with radiant illumination
all thoughts transfigured
Godlike creatures basking in creation
Melting clusters of a constructed lie
mesmerized by the universe light
then life like a new born star
flickers in the imagination and dies
Looking inward, turning inside out
a darkened soul stands in place
The illuminated seed is planted now
but I will never be the same
I land gently inside my body
time to close the circle and pray
Grinning and smiling at my companions
I wave goodbye to the rabbit hole
and see the world with clarity
Aug 2, 2013
Aug 2, 2013 at 5:24 AM UTC
In the name of democracy
An entire state is terrorized
Decade after decade
Freedoms are curbed
Protests are brutally suppressed
People are brutally oppressed
Education is diluted
In the name of democracy
The Army turns from protector to oppressor
Every soldier marching past
With his head held high
Sounds the death knell
For every man, woman and child
In the name of democracy
Soldiers break into houses
Wielding their massive rifles
As if it is their birthright
As the peace and harmony within
Is replaced by abject terror
In the name of democracy
All morals are flung out of the window
As the women are *****
The men who challenge this unspeakable atrocity
Are swiftly silenced with bullets
As the children begin screaming in terror
They are molested, one by one
Until the trauma overcomes them
Such that, they lose their voices
They lose their minds
They lose their hearts
Meanwhile, the soldiers slip away quietly
Having completed a good day of work
In the name of democracy
In the name of democracy
India and Pakistan, warring for decades
Use Kashmir as a bait
As a means to satisfy
Their unquenchable thirst for power
As the potion simmers on
Fuelled by hate on both sides
Curfews and lockdowns follow with alarming regularity
Schools and colleges are shut down
Political organizations are banned
The Internet is crippled
Mobiles and landlines are killed
Even the most feeble of all protests
Is brutally quelled with bullets and grenades
In the name of democracy
Consent is dead and buried
As nationalism takes centre stage
The world watches on silently
Allowing India, the oppressors-in-chief
To reclaim the moral high ground
And suddenly proclaim themselves as saviours
Leaving the beleaguered Kashmiris no choice
But to bow to their captors
Their dreams of self-determination
Shattered ruthlessly in the course of a mad, mad day
In the name of democracy
Aug 5, 2019
Aug 5, 2019 at 1:18 PM UTC
The dream haunts me
often, far too often, building
in intensity but is initially
disguised in absurdity and the
nonsense of a young man's lusts
with an old man's deficits.
This woman-like entity,
ill-defined at first but forming
voluptuously, emerges from
swelling curtains. She moves, more
levitates, toward my bed, buoyed
by what I don't know, but angelic-like
it would seem. Or perhaps
an Aphrodite reincarnate?
Oh this goddess, what pale
skin, as Parian marble, full bosomed,
jutting ******* ***** that
beckon, nearly drool, and pursed
red lips beaded with sweet
juice stolen from the wild cherry
tree beneath my window.
Far too much clarity for a simple
dream. But such a dream! And what
seething testosterone I feel!
I am become a hedonist, raging,
pulsing spermatozoa, renewed
of time and youthful energies.
Nerve into nerve we join, ecstacy
compounding ecstacy, bodies wantonly
impaling the other on this love bed
to the result that each cell of our
individualities melds. We are indistinct,
yes - as one, and any ****** impulse
between us is shared to the point of
utter exhaustion, depletion. I am
nearly drained of life, it would seem.
Then, as it always must,
the scene changes, Act II.
Inexplicably, shedding a ******
serpentine-like skin, she slings it away
and drops limply upon me - entirely
skeletal, dry cartilage, sinew, lifeless,
sexless, motionless. The horror
of a diabolical hollowness
stares through me, and I am
suspended, fully terrorized, in
this paralysis. So, this is
succumbing to the Succubus?
God, my dear God, that I should
never dream again!
--
Oct 12, 2011
Oct 12, 2011 at 10:25 AM UTC
Blue
a soothing hue
with varying complexions
like that of each open sky
bountiful clouds
an energetic sun
and
magnificent rainbows
complimenting it
Blue
a soothing hue
cascading its spectrum
of light
and coolness
onto the earth
drawing many
to its canopy
Blue
a soothing hue
like that of the Nile
serene sounds of historic waters
flowing a great distance
confirming its majesty
and embracing sanctuary
If the color blue is so
why are so many in Sudan blue
why are so many in Sudan dying
why are so many in Sudan *****
why are so many in Sudan weeping
If the color blue is so
why is Sudan blue
why is Sudan worried
why is Sudan being terrorized
why is Sudan fighting back
If the color blue is so
why is Sudan's peaceful protesters being attacked
why are courageous women speaking out
If the color blue is so
why are tears falling from
natives' eyes
filling up an iconic river
as they mourn the ******
of their mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters
remembering good times
dear ones' smiles, hearts, kisses,
words,
their love and mercy expressed
Blue
a soothing hue
yet we need know why
yet we're obligated to think why
yet we must talk why
Sudan is blue
Jun 19, 2019
Jun 19, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
I was on bed then clueless about my life.
I remember three years ago, it was a strife.
I was made to realize by pain of being alive.
The procedure of tracheotomy was done.
The other nose was cut into my windpipe.
The lower end of my throat was bandaged.
The two navels are located on my stomach.
The second navel was gained at the hospital.
The upper navel is not always here to be seen.
Blankly I stared at the world in front of me.
Bluntly I stared at a big wall in front of me.
Bleakly I stared at people coming to see me.
They would come few in numbers initially.
That time is something I can't recall clearly.
Then I was home worriedly waiting for him.
The eternal-seeming torture period started then.
The dreaded physiotherapist used to come then.
The kind man was renamed ***physio the ******
He caused me great pain, I was like a 3-year old.
He saw me writhe in pain & I begged for mercy.
He continued coming & I remained terrorized.
I used to ask my parents if they're actually mine.
I was made to disbelieve in them as my parents.
I took numbing pills directly into my stomach.
I used to remain in sheer terror all day long.
I took offence at the sound of the doorbell itself.
I was asking my parents if someone would come.
May 27, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 8:37 AM UTC
Strange, except true.
Some folks refuses to face the real truth.
Whenever asked, who profited more from racism?
Since Civil War and probably before.
We all within the real world know this answer.
Using the politicians present and of the days of old.
They craft legislature to hold back some.
Just like laws created to banned throw from counters and selected water fountains.
Where the water were the same color?
So, who profited more from racism?
Presently, we heard "Black Lives Matter" which isn't against any particular group.
But as with any controversy some complains and miss the point.
Which were addressing verdicts decided by juries in courts.
Where some are dead on?
And others completely wrong.
Then like a Four Tops songs "It's The Same Old Song".
The power that be always complains they being done wrong.
Without addressing, who profited more from racism?
Families with good connection.
Where their child should be serving time?
Instead on probation seeking some type treatment.
Because the power of wealth works decisive in those decision.
Facts, has been written and analyzed several times.
That white often don't how to handle conflicts with others.
Then when you bring this up.
Many use the reverse racism tricks.
Failing to comprehend many white judges courts decision that got off many.
We seen this in Alabama and Mississippi during the sixties.
And continue to in the present.
If up for votes whites would revert back to segregation.
Cause been on a competing level they finding out education truly matters.
Then they had better schools in the past.
And was the creator of white flight.
But history has pointed out during days of old they terrorized blacks during the nights.
So who profited off of racism?
Of course this is just one person's question?
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 9:17 PM UTC
On the long continuous bench in Audobon park, New Orleans, I sat watching the Siren statue. Her hand high with proud strength of her metallic near-immortality. Her cherub children sitting on bronze turtles, holding separate items of ritual in their hands, perhaps a conch, perhaps a lute. As the Siren stood on her globe, a murky green orb of a thing, there were lovers and birds, children and historians with photographic memories in their voguishly composed hands, crouching, cropping, and framing images as infinite as the bronze statues.
I wondered.
If our memories were as sound as granite, and our hearts as pure as the water that froths at a Siren’s feet, would we enjoy and enjoin our attempts, our passions, to act as our own scaffolding to our existence? Would we appreciate the small things, pleasures of love, photographs and amazement that only those bound to and cursed by time could possibly appreciate? Have you actually seen the faces of these bronze castings, once earthly golden in hue, but now terrorized with their own emblems of decay in sheen of turquoise tarnish? Those smiles of the Siren on her globe, her frolicking cherub chums with eternal infantile fists and oceanic paraphernalia, are not the smiles we should ever want to understand.
There was a breeze.
Somewhere in the leaves of an old photo album, across the globe beneath the Siren’s feet, sits an island I call home. Amongst them, the photos of the young boy who always questioned and liked answers all the same now was by and beside himself. His smile eternally saved for the memories of souls yet to come, and no less by the loving eyes of a mother, with voguishly composed hands.
Apr 6, 2013
Apr 6, 2013 at 2:46 PM UTC
Don't be my child, don't step on broken glasses
Don't be fooled by all of those sweet promises
I've been through a lot of regrets
Memories that I love to bury and simply forget
Treasure my child, my words of wisdom
I have a lot of story to tell when I enter the kings kingdom
Wounded by those pitiless pawns, knights and bishops
Terrorized by a rook and the queen killed all of my hopes
Listen well, don't act so stupid my innocent child
The world is full of jungle and really so wild
I was bitten by spiders, lions and snakes
To recall what I've been through still make my body shakes
My child, look at all my deep scars
Think thrice always, don't fully rush to reach the stars
Else you'll wished upon it to bring you back to where you start
Because you've led your life to a maze and welcome the dark
My dear sage, all your words are of true wisdom
But let me take my own course of freedom
I may feel the deepest sorrow like hell
But at the end like you I will have a great story to tell
written: October 8, 2014 at 10:45 pm PH time
Mysterious Aries
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 3:21 AM UTC
I am in love with a boy
I can only really love when he sleeps.
Once he wakes and starts to speak
We run into trouble.
The way he uses spite is appalling and
(quite frankly) impressive.
At the end of the day we are equals of the worst kind-
Weaknesses targeted
and terrorized.
Bent on destruction
of both each other and (most certainly) ourselves.
We pick and choose the rules.
Common decency means nothing.
What is common?
What is decent?
Why can't we just find a way to love each other that makes sense? (I frown)
Why does it have to make sense? (he pries)
But when he sleeps
It always seems rational and reasonable and
even sometimes doable.
Every movement, every whispered word, every muffled thought
dulled by dreams and expressed by snore.
Your breath is never regular.
You are never regular.
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 10:03 PM UTC
I am terrorized by the thought of your hands
And what storms they may cause
What doors they may open
The trail they may leave.
I am scared that they will grab hold
Real tight when I am too scared to allow them to,
They may learn me
They may let themselves devour my flesh
And surround my eyes when falls become of them.
I am scared that they will be able to catch things mid-air
That I was counting on them to lose.
I am scared that they will kiss my heart with warmth
Dance across my lips
Massage my spine with the courage I need to dance through sun dried desserts
Create a welcome mat to a home that I am trying not to fall into.
I am scared that they will be brilliant and beautiful
Skilled and flexible
Everything I need and want…
All I can fathom is terrible things
My own hands shake
Because you keep giving me beautiful…
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014 at 1:48 AM UTC
They say...."good things come to those that wait".....
They said "you shouldn't walk in the kitchen, while baking a cake".
They say "you shouldn't talk with your mouth full".
They also say it's rude to eat and run.
They have often said...."you can't sit too long in the sun".
They say ....you only live once and I think to myself.....how do they know?
If they never died and had family cry.....following the hearse and their family to disperse their final good byes.
They say "the good die young"....but I know people who were not so good....matter of fact.....they terrorized the whole neighborhood.
They say "you are what you eat".....and that's kind of neat. I love shrimp.....so Bon appetite!
They say "don't drink and drive".....and I can understand why....
We have seen so many news stories.....where innocent people die.
They say "look before you leap".....and I hate suicide.....which is where people have given up hope.
They say "it's hard to live" .....but is it easy to die?
Is it worth it .....when your abandoned child cries?
They say **** them with kindness". I was taught that love is kind and it conquers all.
They say that the bible was written by man. They say they don't believe the story about man's fall. I'm not judging....it's not my call....They said it.
They say "you should call before you come", but didn't Jesus tell them he was God's Son?
They say that the old styles always come back.....there may be some truth to that.
They say "when you get married "you should have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.
They never say "I'm going to pay off this wedding for you".
They say "good things come to those who wait".
I'm guilty of not realizing the goodness God creates and the blessings he creates.....but they say "It's fate".
They say you should " you should look both ways before you cross the street".
She wasn't paying attention ......so he was able to sweep her off her feet.
The light was green, so they were destined to meet......when the light turned yellow......I knew they had to take it slow.....Red light special...so they decided to stop. It became official when he produced the rock.
There were no Jay-Z sightings, although they said "He was there!"
I didn't see any rock signs being thrown in the air.
They say " anyone can write a poem", so I gave them my pen.
They never said another word, but I heard they wrote a book titled "They say..."
They say " It's okay..." everybody's doing it.
They say a lot ....but at times don't say much.....They are always saying something......sometimes I wish they would just "SHUT UP!"
WHO ARE THEY?
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012 at 10:23 PM UTC
Who I took to be my saviour,
Was the very one that killed me,
When I felt really terrorized.
Nuke of loneliness imploded,
Not caring it was not the time,
Night now feels as if eternal.
Contained is this explosion,
Tears haven't fallen since long,
Of dire loneliness it's a gift.
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016 at 9:41 PM UTC
I’m afraid of dying.
I’m afraid of what
I’ve been warned about you.
I’m scared of everything
That may just be true
I’m afraid of everyone.
I’m afraid of what
They’ve all told me about you.
I’m terrified of living
Without a single answer
Was Thomas so wrong
Not to believe you
Without slipping his fingers
Through your heart and your wrists?
I’m afraid of being a skeptic.
I’m afraid of doubting
All that I’ve been told about you.
I’m scared of believing
That you’re my only chance
I’m afraid of being wrong.
I’m afraid of what
I’ve been told you might do.
I’m terrified of being right
And falling into nothingness
Would I be so wrong
Not to believe you
Without slipping my own fingers
Through your heart and your wrists?
I’m afraid of eternity.
I’m afraid of where
Either death may lead me.
I’m terrorized by knowing
Only one fear is real.
Oct 9, 2012
Oct 9, 2012 at 3:54 AM UTC
there are dimensions of time
sometimes entered
not always of ones own volition
a sort of hyper reality where the world
becomes a darkness with red lit shadows
It’s as if time slows down
so it can be experienced frame by frame
as if the consciousness has become
separated from the being
it is the slow decent into something unknown
of which, at this stage
it is unknown if the author will be able to
or even wants to find the way back
for there is a welcome in this wasteland
that makes melancholy love of unknown pleasures
where all looks are concentrated
fixed yet constantly absent
and on looking skilfully
it can be figured out
what terrible riddles
have been created in the head
those who know when and how it is
those who sail in memories
who are terrorized by the imagination
and who get angry with God
ask a question a simple question
which is always the same
as is the answer
an answer that resembles
the rise and fall of cryptic waves
that ebb and flow
scorching a shore of silent sorrows
lapping ferociously at the
arc of a whirlpool within the mind
whose decreasing concentric
circles **** one down
into an eternity of terrible beauty
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 11, 2013 at 7:54 PM UTC
She was terrorized of heights.
I marveled at her bravery and
pain that put her on that cliff
she jumped and broke hearts
and more lives than she knew.
We gather mute to mourn.
Apr 28, 2021
Apr 28, 2021 at 10:21 PM UTC
It all started after two deaths struck the family
The house was devastated it happened so quickly
They were still in mourning coping with the shock
When was heard their presence the eerie nightly knocks!
The sadness was soon replaced by a sense of horror
Footsteps were heard with none on the corridor
The lights went off their own stones pelted from nowhere
Doors banged without a gale lost things weren’t anywhere!
Ashes dumped on food filled jug was soon empty
Wastes lay littered in rooms locked and debarred entry
Nights were spent sleepless each stayed on bed awake
Praying for the knockings to stop arrival of daybreak!
The terrorized house lay numb without a key to the mists
Till they had them enough the pranks of the evil spirits
Too long was going this at their cost the ghostly ruckus
Not deterred by one’s boastful claim we got a gun with us!
When the unwanted visitors showed no signs of retreat
Priests were summoned to drive out the evil spirits
They said not one but the house is playing host
To not one evildoer but a bunch of malevolent ghosts!
They performed for three days got bagful royal treat
Then they were gone but the visitors didn’t retreat
It was by now known they would go on till
Their mission accomplished they could close the deal!
One day it all stopped as suddenly as did start
Quietly they left sprightly souls did depart
But also found were gone with the phantoms’ revelry
Grandpa’s saved gold coins all Grandma’s jewelry!
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 7:14 AM UTC
I'm asking you to look at me
What do you think you see
Chances are it's not what's really there
A color faded through overuse
In search of a simple truth
Chances are it was never really there
Can't pacify the unsatisfied
Or rectify hurt caused by lies
Can't change the past
Can't change the past
Dying behind a liar's grin
Just let me sleep again
Chances are I'm rotten to the bone
If I'm around you should walk away
I've nothing good to say
Chances are I should always be alone
Can't justify how I terrorized
Your entire life with all my lies
Can't take it back
Can't take it back
A billion or so other men
Would treat you better than I ever can
They'd give you the world and
Ask nothing in return
Honestly I'd like to see
You kick the dust from your tired feet
And never look back
Just let me ******* burn
But your eyes show another life
Where maybe I can make things right
Forget the past
Forget the past
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 4:34 PM UTC