"desensitize" poems
Things are winding down now,
I can see it clearly
I never meant to be like this
It's not who I am, not really.
You told me so many things
That I now see as lies,
But when I try to tell you
You just desensitize.
I'm somehow really good at
Messing everything up,
But I always try to be a good person
Even though I should just shut up.
Dec 30, 2009
Dec 30, 2009 at 7:31 PM UTC
Forgot what I searched for to find heaven.
But I know that at the age of seven
I seized my mother’s phone and found a god.
He led me to an arresting world with strings.
Strings that swept your hair the way the wind does
when your ego would reach the sparkling skies.
They touched your heart no matter how heartless.
I refused to blink because if I did
I would miss a second of his gentle
fingers gliding across the maple fretboard.
And no sane person would want to miss that!
Strings danced back and forth as he played a chord.
Oh, his fingers grew sore, but calluses
helped desensitize them from aches and pain.
The instrument he mastered was waiting
to call him master cause’ guitars love how
he manipulates and makes them his slave.
Strings begged for his touch, for sounds they could make.
My eyes felt heavier than dense gym weights.
I mustn’t stop gazing if I want to
stay lost in heaven. So **** riveting!
“School is tomorrow.” ****** I forgot.”
“Give the phone back. Hmm, what are you watching?”
“Heaven.” “What did you say?” “I said heaven.”
Mom didn’t say anything afterward.
A few hours came, she asked for the phone.
I gave it to her, prepared my backpack.
Maybe in a different universe.
I would have proclaimed, “Don’t take the phone back.”
Jan 8, 2022
Jan 8, 2022 at 4:34 PM UTC
Sweltering insurgencies of electric power chords
Tribal reverberations of skin-stretched drum boards
Rolling and filling; syncopating the noise
Of the tit-less toys
The dick-less boys
Enraptured in the music
The anthem
Of invidious phantoms
My eyes hurt inside and
I want to pull them out and
Scrape out the gunk and rust
that’s behind my self-indulgent perseverance
so I can cry
for the first time in years…
Wrapping my hands around his slender torso
Licking away the paint, the dripping ooze; more so
Than hastening my ****** and mordant urges
To bite what emerges
And my mouth purges
The obelisk from underneath
The iron-pierced jester
The voracious molester
My hand tightens as I grip
his throat tighter and
I want to squeeze until his eyes pop
from his sockets and
laugh until I puke against the walls,
watching the ****** fluids mix
like an execrable marinara sauce…
I turned thirty while still being sixteen
The vivid beauty of the world was only in dreams
But none of mine, none that I can recall
Many years have passed since I took the oral fall
Where no one saw
Intransigent need to live
For the snake in my veins hungered for more
So many had their way
until I was limp and sore.
Defamatory fingers of mire and strife
Probing and stretching
My insides
And devilishly comforting
With limpid ambrosia
That’s infected by bilious worms and maggots covered in icing
And fruit
Amatory gauntlets fastened and secured over
Handless limbs that retract under matriculated frictions
That fracture, crack, morph, distort
Emphasize, marginalize
Rationalize, desensitize
Acts of *********** evasion, moral drainage;
Pieces, bits, chunks, sections, portions, servings;
Arms, legs, eyes, tongues, fingers, toes,
Love, lust, infatuation
Adoration
Boys, girls, women, men,
Angels, demons, monsters, humans
Creators, gods, titans, divas
All extended and limited from the minds that worship
Sanctify, mesmerize, glorify, rectify
While humans eat more, love more, **** more
Than the angels, demons, monsters, and titans
We ponder and cherish
Nevermore, for me
Ever lore, for all
Crows surround
And chaos found.
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM UTC
The phrase "collateral damage"
is used so not to cause offense
to desensitize the public
'bout the ****** of innocents
We're spoonfed daily numbers
of those who won't come back
but for innocent civilians killed
we dont bother keeping track
Because they're "collateral damage"
a nameless faceless entity
so easy to ignore
if they don't look like you and me
But when the shoe is on the other foot
and our innocents get killed
we put pictures in the papers
and monuments we build
Have we really sunk so far
as not to comprehend
that "collateral damage" means people,
and that war just has to end.
May 8, 2010
May 8, 2010 at 4:40 PM UTC
Thatcher vacuum seals nicotine
Slurps cigarette like mosquito
Ravenous lungs gnaw and grind for the slow pander,
Thatcher’s just another name for the labeling
We plaster and pine for an out,
Stitch that finite lie beneath squeamish child skin,
Thatcher’s the black lung paradise,
******* infancy coddling cigarette stifle,
The caloric crack of his canines fletching out lust and sickly groove
As he’s scopes out fiend and vexed vandals,
Clutches the sick theistic **********
Cuddle those bruise licked hips
Give God the gross percent,
Cause heaven’s in those greenbacks
and God’s in the ******* kick,
Suckling bout the American tip
The Christian capitol,
Seething on shadow puppet ****** and American dream,
Gods got nothing to do with the slickened crinkle of gain and glamour,
Thatcher’s just the candy man give and cult,
Cough the crutch of contagion greed
And clutch the cuff of your porcelain sleeve,
Thatcher gleans your blackest suite tight,
Struts raven blade shoulders perched on American made spine,
Thatcher does as Thatcher please,
Thatcher thinks as Thatcher bleeds,
And Thatcher bleeds venereal blend,
Gout with the American veneer of broken girl and scabbed moral traumatic,
Trauma tastes as the hollow pixies give out the get out,
Bandaged baby girls,
The teenage horror show,
Just another blazoned hit of one two take the hand me down generic give away,
Desensitize the humanize,
Girls got to get the days glossy puff and sniff,
Thatcher’s content to satisfy,
Callous coroner a spectator suckling Marlboro lick,
Lodging thick smoke and toxin between spittle slick lips,
Albino plumes clotting and unfolding,
Thatcher clicks back the cartridge
Filter and cigarette,
Thatcher gulps back the need because brain’s got a favoring kink for the buzz,
Thatcher sings with the screaming in his straggling lungs,
Hums the western creed
Laughs fickle with God at his need,
Thatcher’s the true American dream
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013 at 5:17 PM UTC
The logic, math problems threatening me
Laughing in my face
Emerging from the deep dark depths of
The textbook of my life
My hands trying to make it work
Dividing until there is no leftover
No remainder
But there’s always going to be a remainder
An unexpected variable thrown in
Watch out for that
Make one change one mistake and
You end up with a different answer
As your footsteps deviate from the path
You thought was right
Hopelessly wander, search for your light
And find yourself immersed in an ocean of
Parabolas and quadratics of the equation
Attempting to answer
Decode the numbers
Read between the lines
Break down the algorithm
And desensitize
As you calculate the rate at which
My mind speeds towards insanity
Measure how much you love me on a scale
Of one to ten
What if the number is eleven?
Then compare to a love for her
The question is irrelevant
Because what is equality
Two different things so much same
How can one surpass another?
Always want to know how can
You compare and contrast the highway
Of your body your mind to that of
Another body another mind
What makes one worth so much more
Is it really worth that much more
It’s unfair once you factor in opinion
After all love can’t be measured
In quantity or numbers
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 9:36 PM UTC
i know there have been moments where you pulled yourself down the stairs just to collapse onto the kitchen floor
i know there have been moments where you repeated,
"i will most certainly not make it out of this alive"
and you wake up the next morning and make it an inch further
my dear dramatic girl
there is no fault in loving with all of your heart
you will grow up and know what each word he presses to your chest means
you will have an Oxfords Dictionary for every time he tells you he was just out late
but if you keep putting pieces of you into everyone who runs their finger over your lips
or tells you "forever" as if it hasn't already lost its meaning
you will lose yourself
do not let the world desensitize you to its contents
theres nothing more tragic than watching a romantic become a cynic
you are full of a quality you cannot let every boy that stops loving you when it's convenient take from you
you are truthful and forgiving
you are trusting
and whats left of your heart is safety-pinned onto your sleeve
your heart belongs to you alone and i know its been a while since you heard this, but
you are full without people miles away telling you that they think you'd look pretty without your clothes on
dust it off,
lie on the kitchen floor and remember what it felt like when you said
"i will most certainly not make it out of this alive"
for when you wake up one morning and forget how it sounds
to be despondent in love
do not let the world take you and spread you over people who push you to fill pieces of them they have lost in others
you are prevailing every time you whisper
"i love you, too"
Jul 6, 2016
Jul 6, 2016 at 4:57 PM UTC
I'll take whatever comes my way.
No longer happy with myself.
Although you've taken my pride away.
I believe these drugs will help.
The devil's sitting on my shoulder.
Angel's nowhere in sight.
I pray that when I get much older, everything will come to light.
When it comes to the end of day.
My demons will come out to play.
What I thought was happiness isn't true.
Look at the stars, they shine for you.
The storm has come and I can't see them.
Don't want to be here, I'd rather be them.
Do you ever feel like your world's at end?
Desensitize my mind and all that is meant.
How can I believe that my heart is heaven sent?
Repeatedly convinced that I am not who I dreamt.
Wish I could see what I saw when I slept.
My heart in his palm, that he kept.
Optimus Prime on a pretty orange pill.
Swallow my pride and my body stands still.
Numbing every emotion that I could possibly feel.
Seems as if I don't know what's real.
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 11:25 AM UTC
To be abnormal in a normal world, is that so uncool? How about to be unjust in an unjust world? Surely then yes, for I am a fool. Not a fool so cruel, but a fool too cool to abide by societies rules. You see, it is the nature of man to be just as unjust as the unjust world, just as must as it is to be a fool, but not a foolish fool. Now you, you are a tool, for living the just life in an unjust world. You are the tool and I am the Utilitarian, and will use you to my advantage and private interests. That’s just how things go here in this structured place, meant to deface and interface yourself. Desensitize you to yourself; reduce yourself to a cheap exploitative commodity; a means for my planned robbery laid near a veneer of parliament armory. Society rules by the Golden Rule, and that is: Those with the gold are those who rule! Now who is the fool you tool?!
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 27, 2010 at 6:06 PM UTC
And I know it's worth fighting
worth fighting for
Show my reason
reason for change
Nightmare disguised as a dream
Should I be waking soon
Or is this as it seems to be?
It's time to uncover the truth
I'm sick of waiting
tell me how about you?
Oh it could be the weather
acting a little weird
But I don't see the pleasure
In knowing that it's here
We've got to get it together
Harmony is clear
though much is here to heal
the power can be real
transmuting lead to gold
you cannot have the soul to steal
I can see the demon's eyes are rising up at me
I can recognize the ego's guise is no surprise
I have my moments when it seems like I'm just circling
I gotta get out of here
I gotta get out of here!
Doing nothing after thinking life just needs an edge
In contradiction we collapse and finally see the end
A choice your making when you desensitize
Open up your eyes
Wake up your mind
Oct 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012 at 3:48 PM UTC
I can't
regret
anything that's happening
It's all because of me
Dwelling negativity
I thought
that I
was waiting for a sign
It all went over my head
Missed the point to living
Well you
said
you were bored
bored and looking for action
Here it comes
like you wanted
Here comes the beast
I can see the demon's eyes are rising up at me
I can recognize the ego's guise is no surprise
I have my moments when it seems like I'm just circling
I gotta get out of here
I gotta get out of here!
Doing nothing after thinking life just needs an edge
In contradiction we collapse and finally see the end
A choice your making when you desensitize
Open up your eyes
Wake up your mind......
Oct 20, 2012
Oct 20, 2012 at 2:55 PM UTC
The American dream
Is a Bentley
With some shiny thing
Selfish arrogant human beings
Wanting more and more
While some places could use a doctor
Plumbing of any kind
Would be mighty fine
And something to eat
Well that’s like a treat
The American style
Has us throwing good clothes away
No need to save
Or share
No need to care
For someone else
Only numero uno matters
In other places races just wish
That the police would cut their ****
Stop pointing guns at them
And shooting their children
Or that local warlords
Would leave their children be
Democracy is just a pipe dream
The American way
Strives to separate us
In competitive groups
Desensitize us
And dehumanize the other
In other places people share
Out of love
What little they have
They are glad
To give to another
So who is civilized?
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 8:20 AM UTC
no where near the 24th hour even though
my hand shakes jittery. pen drawing right
to left, hand of the uncertain quivering.
i focus a bit too much and found this self set
unnerved after having been awake far longer
than i tend to make usual.
(plenty are the unusual in this
the current long dark)
so much longer than usual that i've resorted
to gin and orange juice, and it's been a long
while since such this encounter. perhaps
my rhythm is lost, perhaps this is my path in
life for the time being, perhaps eternity will
find me answered.
(and in a new year the days
grow longer once again)
and losing track of the hours, of the days,
when the greater portion of time is spent in
silence. but, in truth and whole, i never
failed to miss the unexpected moments that
interloped. and i rummage through the past
of yellowing notebooks - those coffee stained
and warped yet the words never bled. words
expressing thinking, drinking, and some
hazy hallucinations. of how a trio was
able to remove the world from me. and it was
fine. no real panic, deifiers only want to trim
a little fat. and these just happen to be my
scrawny days.
(for the flesh lusteth against
the Spirit,
and the Spirit again the flesh)
and it's awkward to attempt an explanation of
how i watch the static ripple across the ceiling.
after a few days, the eyes begin to desensitize
of the weather. after a few days, there is no
longer a sleep pattern; all that's left is to
become biphasic. and after these few days,
how is better to explain an inexpressible
than with words i don't quite understand?
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 2:09 PM UTC
Strangers; estranged to eachother
desensitize the soul of another
judgement & diversification -
forefront of a bad implication
you feel - so taken out of context
then you hypothesize the mind of the next
& memorize those objectified persons
but realize; these are empty aversions..
for that stranger too - is similar to you
in a complex existence, lost in the blues
faces complications,
the same symptoms of life
same alterations
of both bliss, sadness & strife
though it seems you're the cynosure
& them; the background noise
though they say,"I'm the protagonist"-
& you're just a little voice
Every stranger, every soul of your life-
whatever role-
possesses a mind as intricate as yours
a life as labyrinthine -
although not shown.
Jul 23, 2021
Jul 23, 2021 at 3:46 PM UTC
Castigate Sublimate
Sanctify Indoctrinate
Expatriate Disseminate
Proselytize Reiterate
Reject, Deny, and Obfuscate
Incarcerate Dehumanize
Desensitize Decimate
Incinerate Rejuvenate
Simplify and Permeate
Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 9:44 AM UTC
One's for stress
The other for sleep
This for sadness, crying
That for anger, shouting
One result
It hurts like hell
Thud goes your brain
Deep breath
Let go of the pain.
Thud, goes your brain
Sitting in class
The teacher drills
We repeat each thud
Our brains
Knocking like our fingers
Tapping atop the table
Can we go yet?
Thud goes your brain
Take paracetamol
Medicate thought
Desensitize.
Copy, repeat
Coffee, revise
Thud goes your brain
Again.
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 3:38 PM UTC
The President will start a
nuclear war over twitter
if he has to.
White Nationalist is a way
of saying ******* It's re-labeled
to desensitize us.
The President sympathizes with
the White Nationalists because
he can't afford to lose their vote.
My president does not have my
best interest in mind.
He is a power hungry tyrant--
and half are too dumb to notice.
You don't worship God. You don't.
You worship politics infused
with spirituality.
You dehumanize those who
are different from you because
you are a scared little *****
All Nazis must die.
Them dying is the
greater good.
Nazis are inferior.
Die **** Die.
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017 at 11:59 PM UTC
Remember when good prevailed
The hero always won & there were
Happy endings?
Well I guess that wasn't real enough
not alot has changed since gladiator days
The innocent are still sacrificed
Fed to the lions so to speak
Or since ***** and Gomorrah
Only difference is now it's televised
As though this entertainment is okay
To desensitize is the goal
And the result?
Children killing parents
Parents killing children
People without love
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 10:00 AM UTC
What I fear most are not the things that go bump in the night.
The things that frighten me are often times things that at first you can not see.
These things that first start with someone elses thoughts can too often be turned into negative actions. What may start as a passitionate thought, or cause can too quickly turn into a distructive action. This is why I fear insensitivity, crude jokes, apathy.
Other things I fear are people that talk without thinking about what they are saying first, or how others might interpet what they are saying.
I fear selfishness which may lead to uncaring actions.
I fear crude jokes that do not respect ones fellow man or women, because it could subtlely desensitize ones perspection of those around them. They may get defensive and say it is just a joke.
The constant violent images on the news and on television, may further desensitize others to think that volence is normal or okay, or worse still that it is a normal part of life. It don't have to be perseived as normal we can chose to limit our own exposesure to violence on television. We can let others know that we don't condone violence, whether it is on television, or in reality, or in our own community.
I fear all these things that at first hide inside the deepest parts of someones mind, long before it is publically seen. This realization of this hidden darknes,makes me cry, or scream, if I thought about it all before going to bed. I would cover my head and sleep with the lights on, and every noice would make me jumpy.
This is why I fear the things that I can not see the most.
Oct 31, 2016
Oct 31, 2016 at 4:43 PM UTC
Lose yourself
Desensitize and block out
Fade back into the vast canvas
Of your mind
Splattered with crimson
Tears and gray sorrow hang heavy
Intoxicating carrying burdens of your soul
Obscuring all that you are
All that you know
Plunge into ebony
Dance with the darkness
You take a spin with
The shadows
Succumb to the want
The desire of your isolation
And recoil
Numb to all the pain surrounding
Alone is easier after all
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 8:27 PM UTC
She Fell Into The Abyss
he takes to the tunnel of night
dark at first, but he tiptoes in
and sees the light
he follows a trail
a women's scent that arouses him
he sees her across the bar
seated by herself
hunger on her face
a wallflower
a sheep in a lea to him
weak and pull-able of wool
and he needs wool
a ball of yarn to desensitize
and spins to his satisfaction
and he needs to be sated
... especially
with this ones youth and innocence
her striking blue eyes
and sweet mouth
indifferent to him
but it's her pond of ducks that excites ... him
hidden in his pocket
is a knife of fantasy
a blade of deceit
rope of words to incapacitate
... then
he looks into her blues
as he begins making his move
sweet talking, sweet talking
her socks off
he keeps seeing the ducks in the pond
swimming faster and faster
his heart beating faster and faster
a fruit ripening before his eyes
ready to be eaten
he takes the first dagger from his pocket
two white pills and slips into her drink
laughs to himself
at least this dagger won't hurt
as he chokes on his sadism
she falls into her arms
asleep
so soft and vulnerable
unsuspecting and naive
she walks out with him in slumber
later that night
a shotgun blasts breaks the air
ducks flapping in the night
then ... silence
Logan Robertson
2/18/21
Feb 18, 2021
Feb 18, 2021 at 6:34 AM UTC
dimmed in-candescent trails
streaming through thoughtlessness
grow old in cold knowledge
flutter and waste a shuttered taste
dreaming of wonder, lust
deeming trust a liars blunder
knowing only flowing undertow
bestow a bow upon the tower
lead the weak to seek another
pray for prey to bleed together
cower beneath the power, beseech
teach words that preach not leach
we'll reach the peak of leakage
peel back the streak of team credence
desensitize the lies and compromise
deny the times i tried to feel demise
your eyes guided me, blinded me
snatched vision from decision
pale walls involve crawling, sprawling
drawing proof to unroof this calling
pawning you to the coup of dawning
may we start again, this time, yawning?
Feb 4, 2011
Feb 4, 2011 at 8:16 PM UTC
A broken maze hides inside my mind;
Revelers rambling round never find
The end - lacking signposts or guides,
They tread eternities while the exit hides
From echoing clatter to blinding roar,
From gentle pitter-patter to take no more,
Crowds mill through in groups and pairs;
The walls vibrate, as do I downstairs
Food trucks ply their bountiful snacks
Feeding frenzy, launching scent attacks;
The noxious steam combines to rise,
Waft out, confound and desensitize
Enclosed in walls impossible to climb
Trapped all together in layered time
The revelers begin to sway and swerve
Blundering on networks of frayed nerve
With no path to success or even escape
The horde begins to push and scrape
The walls - tremble, creak, quiver, quake;
The maze, my mind, my universe - break
NCL August 2019
Aug 12, 2019
Aug 12, 2019 at 10:17 PM UTC