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Renae Jul 19
How much
does a single tear hold?
How many memories?
Traumas?
Secret tragedies?
In one tear
I could drown in misery
But I let it fall
hope it lands
far away from me
Write it out
put it behind me
leave it there
buried in history
Renae Jul 19
I'm less than half a century
there's so much this world tells me I should be

I don't know
how that could be
I did what I ought
I stood and I fought
I ignored what I knew
they thought of me

Now my bones are weary
my muscles have
no get up and go
they feel they have
nowhere to be

I try to see the hope in view
I focus on that narrow
slice of light I knew
I stood with
my feet in concrete

Now I am tired of standing
I am no longer what I can be
My existence isn't happy
my vision is blurry

Love never lasted for me
💔
Renae Jul 11
Most say:
"They cannot see me
I hide
behind
a curtain
of deceit
A black veil
of false certainty
My life...
securely veiled
from those who see"

Oh how sad they will be
Renae Jul 9
Shout it from the rooftop
scream it to the sea
wave your hands
take a stand
nobody's listening
Renae Jul 8
What is real?
I can't see it but I can feel
Is it lust? Is it fire?
Is it only appealing to my desire?
Is wrong is it right?
Should I put up a fight?
I once read it was either
A test of my faith,
will I stand firm
Or teeter
Will it destroy my heart
Rip it out and tear it apart?
Like the myans of old
Sacrificing all I own
Theives, they steal
Take & only reveal
lust for power
not a tower
Of refuge
They are hills
Crumbling and stumbling
With nothing but feels
no foundation
No peace of mind
empty philosophy
is all you find
Realistically
The answer is deeper
It is not hidden or confusing
It is something to live for
Stronger and taller
Than the highest height
emptying thrones
bringing the truth to light
More powerful
than your mind
a treasure of gold
is what you'll find
Renae Jun 17
I've learned I'm entirely
broken...
into tiny fragments.
I don't attempt
to pick up my pieces,
slicing my skin on sharp egdes.
I sat long in the mirror examined my colors... outstanding
my shine, not gone
perhaps not broken.
I said to myself
"I don't need to perfectly fit"
Somehow I'm still beautiful,
sharp, impossible...
I suppose the only thing
left to do...
proudly place them in cement
Renae Jun 15
All roads seem blocked
All exits taped off!
This and that
always get in the way
I ask and wonder and
I don't feel okay

Am I worthy??
As though
you should answer...
Are you?
Who am I to choose

There are hidden things
I cannot see
Your heart, your soul,
your memories
Your trauma, your fears,
Your meant to be's

That crashed and burned
broke your heart...

Who am I to think
you're too broken to restart?

Can I assume you
have no right to life?
That you're cursed
unloved & shouldn't
been born... right...

When I look in a mirror
I only see me
So I ask myself,
Am I worthy?
And then I answer,
most certainly.
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