Loving you was
the most
exquisite form
of self
destruction

but I did it
I did it anyway
I wanted to reach
and touch
the flame
to bite
the fruit
to see
to hurt
and I wanted you to fix it

I have this favorite cup, a simple one
I love this much that I simply can't
Leave it in one corner of my chest
Considered it the last, the best
But one day I just found it there
Broken in pieces, I've seen my tears
I tried to fix it, I really did
But I wasn't someone who could be that skilled
To make magic of fixing things
Somehow I realized what could it bring
If I would try a new design?
Perhaps I would know if I'll just try...

You didn't break me

You're just another person
who failed to fix me

but I was already broken

Like cold coffee, the fun of the taste is gone.
too cold, just like my feelings
All Alone.
no one drink it, they refuse to add hot coffee on it and fix it
instead they throw it away and replace it
they did the same.
my heart felt like a cold coffee
but when I'm with you...
you made me feel better, you drink me even though I'm cold and you drink my sadness away

I tried so hard to fix myself for you because
you liked girls with lips red like rose petals
and blushing cheeks so

as if each pound represented a flaw you saw
I clipped my wings just to prove i’d never leave
but you say I took away the only part of me
you ever
loved.

I want to lie with you and feel the familiar touch of your skin on mine,
breathe in your sweet scent and just be with you in this moment
and not think.

Not think about how broken I am,
about how scared I am of loving and of being loved,
or about not knowing how to love and be loved.

Most of all,
I'm scared you'll find out.
Find out that I'm broken,
that I don't know how to love and be loved,
that I'm scared of trying.

But if I'm being honest with myself,
I'm absolutely terrified that you'll fix me,
that you'll help me face my fears,
teach me how to love and be loved
only to leave me broken again.