long were the nights when i would wait for your messages even after we called things off. now i'm waiting for someone else's and he's been a good distraction from thoughts of you, though of course, i still miss you. i guess it really is easy to get lost in your own world with someone so i have a good feeling that it'll be less difficult moving on from you. but don't worry, i won't put my guard down unless i'm fully healed because you can't fully love someone when you haven't healed from the past and that's what you failed to do when you pursued me, but now i know better. i won't make the same mistakes you did and hurt other people for not loving them the same way they do me.

the smell of cigarettes
when our lips collided,
the taste of alcohol
when our tongues glided;
i almost thought of you

his gentle demeanor
when we're out wandering,
aggressive in manner
when he's pinning me down;
i almost thought of you

his rough yet tender hands
leaving no skin untouched,
his mellow yet raspy voice
tempting me too much;
i almost said your name

his tan skin, glowing
brown orbs, lust-hooded
corners filled with moaning
upon reaching paradise,
i almost said your name

i tasted you on his lips,
smelled your perfume on his,
felt you in his embrace,
saw your eyes in his; and
i almost thought he's you
he gives me déjà vu.

kung hahayaan ko ang aking puso magdesisyon,
tatakbo pa rin ako sa iyong mga bisig
para yakapin ka kahit ako pa'y mapaso
pilit kong pasisiklabin ang liyab
na malapit nang mamatay
kahit na masaktan ay ayos lang kung ikaw—
ikaw na bukod tanging sakit na kaya kong tiisin.

siguro nga'y ako'y tagahatid lang sa'yo papunta sa tamang tao at ika'y ganoon din sa'kin.

maari bang humiling sa huling pagkakataon? pwede bang dalhin mo na 'ko sa kanya, nang ika'y malimutan na?

it is you,
only you—
the one that i love.

you, whose eyes hold a thousand galaxies
that held me captive once they shine on me
you, whose tender voice soothes away the pain
you, who smiles with a dimple
that reaches the depths of my heart
you, with that shy yet charming personality,
luring me deeper into a labyrinth
i never want to escape

even if you think you don’t deserve this love,
even if you don't believe my descriptions,
all the more i will say them again
for you are worth all the million beautiful words
simply because you are you.

Maraming posibleng mangyari sa loob ng isang buwan
Agosto, ako'y sigurado na hindi sayo titibok ang puso
Ngunit pagsapit ng Setyembre, damdami'y biglang nagbago
Ngayon lang ba natanto na noong Hulyo pa napukaw ang damdamin?
Sa pag-iingat sa aking puso ay tuluyan na ngang nahulog
Bigla na lang natakot na sa'kin ay ika'y mawala
Kaya nama'y walang ‘sing tamis ang ating pag-iibigan pagdating ng Oktubre
Kahit nagtatalo ay mas nangibabaw ang pagmamahalan
Subalit lalo lang lumala at nagkalabuan noong Nobyembre
Ako'y nakapagsulat ng tula para sa'yo, mahal
‘Yon nga ba ang nagsalba sa ating dalawa?
Disyembre, alam kong pagod ka na
Gayunpaman ay pilit kong diniligan ang ating nalalantang pagsinta
Ngunit imbis na diligan ay aking binuhusan kaya naman ika'y nalunod
At nang ating salubungin ang bagong taon,
ako nga'y tuluyan **** binitawan
Hindi na sinuyo, wala ng paramdam

Masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari
‘Di malaman kung saan gusto bumalik—
noong Hunyo bago sa'yo'y nagkagusto
upang pigilan nang mas maaga ang nararamdaman
o Disyembre upang maitama ang aking pagkakamali
Hindi naman inaakala na ganito magtatapos
noong tayo'y magkalapit noong Abril
Hindi na ba tayo masasalba ng aking tula sa pangalawang pagkakataon?

Maraming posibleng mangyari sa loob ng isang linggo
Marahil ay iyong pinagpatuloy ang iyong paglakbay
Habang ako'y nanatili sa lugar kung sa'n ako'y iyong iniwan

maybe it was a mistake
letting you strip me naked
my body exposed and my soul bare
when you couldn't do the same

but maybe i should've been patient
and didn't let these emotions run wild
but we can't really love each other
when we haven't healed from the past
(can't i be the one to heal you?)

maybe it was easy blaming you
so i could move forward
without ever looking back
for i can't break your walls

maybe we're both at fault
all those times we said some things
we didn't mean and regretted later on
where did we ever go wrong?

maybe we didn't try hard enough
and that we gave up too soon
is it even possible, love?
to water each other and grow together?

but through all of my maybe's
and the times we hurt and get hurt
the only thing i didn't regret—
was meeting and falling for you

maybe you're not ready to fall this autumn but you still like me enough to keep me warm. dare i say, it wasn't enough. i tried to reignite the fire from summer '19 but you can't keep up with the same intensity like you used to and i only burned you from getting too close. now i'm left with the cold shoulder—just in time for winter.

maybe we're better off for the summer, when the heat was high but you'd rather play with fire and keep me close than spend it alone. you didn't get burned and even asked for more. we were too caught up in the heat of the moment for sure.

and maybe it felt so good that we jumped too soon and skipped chapters we were supposed to slowly unfold together. now we're not on the same page anymore and that led us to bewilderment. we're in spring but what page are you on?

in the end, i'm the only one taking risks. and before you could, i've already blown the dwindling flame goodbye. i can't give you warmth when you keep being cold. and i can't be your summer when you keep being my winter.

I realized I liked you when
our eyes met then I immediately
looked away as if it was the first time
I laid my eyes on you.

I realized I liked you when
I made a list of things we could
talk about but ended up blanking out
when I started talking to you.

I realized I’ve fallen for you when
we were in a concert and you
accompanied me throughout the night.
I knew my heart was pounding not from
the loud speakers but from you
being so close to me.

I realized I’ve fallen for you when
I got nervous and you held my hand,
comforting me with no words said;
contented with how our fingers
interlaced with one another.

I realized I loved you when
I started writing about you and
our happy moments that now have
turned into memories.

I realized I loved you when
I turned you into poetry.

Let me tell you a story
of a young woman
winsome and wise

Once a small flower
bloomed into something
more beautiful than a whole garden

Someone who gives joy
in a world with so much
misery

A hidden diamond
exquisite and rare
treated more precious than jewelry

Once a blank paper
tainted with love
by her one and only

A daughter and a sister,
a friend and a lover,
and will soon be a mother

This is the story
of a young woman
winsome and wise,
special and loved.

A blue moon loomed in the sky tonight,
everyone watched you in awe
as you shined so bright.
Did you miss us, dear?

My love who now dwells in the skies,
your sufferings have come to an end.
Worry not about us anymore
for we're happy you've found peace in paradise.

Do come to us once again
in the form of the stars or the quiet rain,
falling gently from heaven.
Let us feel your love once more

We miss you,
but it is time to let you go
dance happily with the angels if you may,
fly high, precious one.

She really wants him to be her lover but the deity decided to set a game of love where two souls were born almost at the same time but in a different place. Thus, their love story remains unknown to the both of them.

She doesn’t really know what she looks for in a man but her heart aches for someone she doesn’t even know.

He reminds her of the cherry blossoms in spring when she started falling for him. He reminds her of the rain and how it falls down just like how her tears would. He reminds her of a sad love song just like their sad love story. It’s like he’s actually there but she’s unable to touch him.

She knows she can just find another man to begin her love story with; someone she knows, verily. But the feeling won’t be the same.

She can’t seem to fathom why she loves that particular feeling of loving someone unknown even though it pains her. Indeed, she’s trapped by the love she has, only she doesn't want to break free.

How astonishing it is that an unknown man is capable of making her feel that way ― that no man she knows had made her feel.

She wants to find him and end her longingness but she doesn’t know how.

Even if she walks his street, they’ll less likely meet. It doesn’t happen easily. They’re not in the movies. She doesn’t even know who is she looking for. All she knows is that he’s there when spring comes, when the rain falls and when a sad love song starts to play.

Still, she’s uncertain if she will ever meet that man but maybe... that’s how the deity wants their game of love to be ― to remain unknown.

But no, she won’t lose to the deity’s game. She will find him and she will end the game. Their love will bloom in a different season. And he will no longer remind her of the rain and the sad love songs. He will no longer be someone unknown and they can finally begin their love story.

That, she promised.

It was in spring when you ― a complete stranger ― had melted my heart, uttering sweet words to your mother whom you've missed. And I thought how eerie it was that a stranger can easily tug at my heartstrings. Everyone loves their mother, so what makes you different? That remained a mystery to me, but perhaps it was the words you chose that enthralled me.

Still, in summer, I gave my love to another. That didn't close my doors, though. I still wanted to know you.

Autumn, then winter came. Seasons pass by quickly as I, too, quickly grew fonder of you. I count the leaves fall from the trees just as I count the times you've made me laugh. I watch the snow fall from the sky just as I watch you and realize... I do like you, dear.

A year has passed and I got to know you better. This time in spring, I started falling for you. You've melted my heart once again when you sang to me. Your voice that holds so much emotion ― how mesmerizing you really are. You never cease to amaze me. And perhaps that's the reason why I was bemused the first time.

Who knew it was the same season when you first knocked on the door of my heart? Now I'm finally letting you in for I know the answer this time ― I do love you, dear.

This time in summer, I didn't look for another and gave my love to you, wholly. You truly know the way to my heart.

But nothing can compare to the love that bloomed in spring ― the time you had enchanted me with the euphonious voice of yours. Just like how you sang to me, “I'll be the spring to your smiles,” for you are my only spring love.

When the day comes I get tired of dreaming about a stranger, maybe by then I can finally let go of my dearest and free myself from the love that consumed me.

Maybe by then, I can finally look at you without shedding any tears. And maybe I'll just laugh at the things I wrote about you; even this.

But right now, I can’t let you go―not today, not tomorrow or in the next few years―but someday, I will. And when that day comes and I remember you, maybe I’ll realize that I am far too young and naive now to know something about love, and that I only got swayed by the smaller traps of life. Just like how I found myself getting trapped by the love I have for you.

Someday, I will...

Sharp eyes that seem to pierce through my soul
Porcelain-skin and hands so delicate
Deep voice that captivates any lady
Alluring lips that any woman would kiss

A thief in disguised
As a handsome man in a decent suit
Or at times, in a plain white tee,
Has stolen my heart unconsciously

I’d imprison that man;
But with my heart thumping in my chest,
And my lips trembling; knees shaking―
He makes me so weak

Before I knew it,
I am the one that's been jailed;
I am trapped by my own affection
Allured by a thief

It was in the 26th of May
When thirteen stars became one in the galaxy
Among the stars that light up the dark sky,
They shine the brightest with their own light

More were enticed by their brilliant colors
With their own flare that never wears out
In the sky, we watch them dazzle
They will never lose that spark

Others might try to dim their flame
But they only blaze up with more energy,
Enchanting the whole universe
All eyes and ears; mesmerized

Though we're skies apart,
Our hearts are just a beat away
A promise to always protect the glow
Of the thirteen stars that made us dream again

I get so distracted with your soft lips
The heart-like shape it forms when you slightly pout―
How sinfully tempting

I wonder how it would feel like
To have it pressed against mine
And taste the sweetness it has to offer
While our bodies are intertwined

You ask me how brave I am
And I responded with certainty,
“I am brave enough to love deeply
And be foolish in the eyes of many
For I only love and hurt alone.”

I am in love with a young man
Whose courage can never be compared
He makes me fearless; shameless even
Making me dive into this love of mine
Without even thinking if it may be reciprocated

I dared to reach a star like him
Though in the sky, he resides
I dared to go beyond this love
Crossing seas to get a glimpse of him
And now I’m finally close to my dear

Again, you ask me how brave I am
And I looked at you with woeful eyes,
“I am brave enough to let you break me
And let you ****** a dagger into my heart
For you don’t see me the way I see you.
But how brave are you really, love?”

She didn’t just love his chubby cheeks
She loved every bit of him―
From his round eyes to his button-like nose
And his plump lips that form a dulcet smile

She didn’t just love his winsomeness
She loved every side of him―
From his enthusiasm to his warmth
And his soft heart that endears her

She didn’t just love it when he sings
She loved every sound he makes―
From his humorous screams to his sweet whispers
And his laughter that puts her heart into ecstasy

And just like that,
She didn’t just love those parts;
She loved him whole

The mellifluous tones of his voice
Put my heart at ease
Lulled by the sound he makes,
I get lost in reverie

Is it the tenderness in his voice?
Or perhaps the words he utter?
Or his cloying expression?
I am not so sure

Whatever it may be,
My heart always sings with glee
Then I begin to cry
And express my deepest sentiment

How strange yet astonishing it is,
To feel everything at once
Just by hearing the sweet sound
Of the voice that enraptures me

Kiss me when the rain falls
Let our lips dance in the pouring rain
Kiss me by the tree
And let me fall for you once again
Just like how the leaves fall in autumn

Kiss me softly when the sun rises
Let me be awaken by your gentle touches
Kiss me deeply when the night falls
Whisper your desires to me, love
And let me know your dire temptation

Just kiss me, darling
With the lips of a sinner
And heart of a saint
And mark me as yours;
Forever, I will be.