I stay awake
until 3 AM
contemplating
romanticizing
fantasizing
willing into reality
the idea of
me and you

a drunkard's best friend
in times of
loneliness
insanity
desperation

but doesn't really
cure any of these
um
feelings

gives you
courage
confidence
to do what your heart
wants when sober
yet kills you
by the minute

Too much love to give
Despite never getting any in return

You’ve been hurt
You’ve been shot down
With nowhere to turn

With every heart break
On your weary soul
Comes another crack

Like waves
Beating against
A stone that can’t fight back

I know you’re tired
I know you’ve hit rock bottom
But you have to get back on track

Some people love
Some people don’t

One thing they can’t break
Is your heart that wants to give up
But won’t

your eyes drag across words
spilled onto the pages of a book
and as you read on
the more you wish

that the world you live in
was as predictable
as the love story
you're reading

with every turn of a page
with every word that pulls at your heartstrings
you yearn for that life, that love
but all you can do*

is get pulled into
the chaos and misery
we label as reality
when the words run out

but then you remember
that a beautiful mind
wrote that book

how bad can the world be
with people that remind us
that there are little things in life
that are worth living for

we wake up every morning
to the sun
creeping in through
the gossamer curtains

the rays of the sun
traveled all the way
into your room
to brighten up your day

but all you ever search for
first thing in the morning
is the artificial light
from the screen of your cellphone

why cant you take some time
to stop and stare
at the dust falling around you
dancing in the ever iridescent sunlight

she stubs out
another cigarette
and winces at the nicotine
spreading to her lungs

but she doesn't mind
burnt lungs seem to be
the least of her worries

I mistake left
for right
right for wrong

but why don't I ever
mistake you
for another person

You may be
Bulletproof

But I can see
Right through you

she is the very embodiment
of euphoria and ecstasy
whenever she is happy

she smiles and laughs
as much as she can
because she knows
that this feeling is only temporary

and she tries not to think
for every thought she might have
could wipe off the smile on her face
and silence every laugh

isn't it depressing to think so?

as the city is bathed
in the resplendent glow
of moonlight

and the wind dances
through the trees
emitting the celestial
sound of the night

she is wide awake
her mind adrift
her eyes as coruscating
as starlight

she suffers through
a week of  hell
only to experience
a day of nirvana

the numbness spreads
throughout her body
throughout her thoughts

but why can't she stop
feeling the ache
of her shattered heart

when everyone
clings to their umbrellas
avoid puddles
and walk on damp earth

you will find her
dancing in the rain
and stops only
to smell the petrichor

she trusted you
and your words
and your lies

she endured
those nights
when you would fight

she'd go to sleep
with a weak heart and
tears in her eyes

she defended you
against her friends
you so despise

yet here you are
having the audacity
to think

that she wasn't
good enough
for you

you
who deserves
nothing close
to something like
her

When I'm alone
I like to sit and observe
I look around

But how come
All I ever see
Is you

you say the right words
no one has told her before
everything you say
she believes

you do the sweetest things
no one has done to her before
in everything you do
she believes

you told the worst  lies
she has never heard before
every lie you laid before her
she believed

how much of an *******
a scumbag
a worthless piece of trash
can you be
to lie to the girl
that in everything
and in everyone
she believed

you should know that
you are responsible
for taking someone innocent
and naïve

feeding her lies
and deceit
and in everything
and everyone
never again will she believe

is there nothing
more beautiful
more endearing
more enchanting

than the person
you love more
than anything
telling you the truth

they tell you to
fix your hair
do your make-up
wear nice clothes

but judge you
for all the choices you make
regardless of everything
they told you to change

then call you judgmental
for voicing your opinions
and speaking the truth
they don't want to hear

she does everything
the same way
every single
******* day

waiting for the time
when she has
enough power
enough love
just enough
to make a difference

she walks until
she can no longer feel
the weight of her legs
nor the earth beneath her feet

all she can feel
is the weight
of her sorrow

There you are
I see you
everywhere
You and your ever present smile

And as I approach you
My heart shatters
Because I wake up

And you
Are no longer there