I spent
34.560.000 seconds
576.000 minutes
9600 hours
400 days
57 weeks and 1 day
missing you.

the man,
he was a child.
like the child in every man.

the girl
was a woman
even before he made her one.



@mosqutioism 11.08.2015

rid of "I"
free.
let your
e
g
o
go
or
vanish in
vanity.

There ain't no monsters under my bed,
they are inside my head.

sleeplessly
embracing
you

Boomerangs come back when thrown,
not the people you've hurt.





-mosqutioism
06.06.2014

274 Etceteras
left behind orphans, moms, widows et cetera
who cares et cetera what their names are?
for they're Heroes indeed, Martyrs now et cetera.
**** happens et cetera, "it's common". Why surprised?
I'll give you some examples; China, England et cetera
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Hope you're safe and sound et cetera
in your warm, cozy et cetera house.
WE et cetera are used to cold stones and mines.
though not stone-cold hearts.



mosquitoism

A colon and a bracket.

A: I don't want to get used to you,
I know I will be the one ending up  d ev a  s  t a t   ed

B: Will that be mutual too? I love you.
Good things happen to those who wait.
You're the good thing.
I will wait.


( T
      I
         M
              E )


A: Why are you doing this to me?
Why do you want to hurt me this much?

B: I thought you moved on by now.








-mosquitoism-

I want to throw up all my anger
cursing
swearing
wishing you ill
Then I soothe myself thinking
you're already punished
by being yourself;
your
ruthless
sadistic
evil-hearted self.





-mosquitoism-

I don't understand how people can be so harsh and crude. I do not understand why anyone should want to hurt one another... I guess I am just too naive and stupid when it comes to human relationships.

I haven't felt  this humiliated and insulted before in my life. Or maybe I had, but in time I've forgotten all of it. I know, life goes on, one way or another but how am I going to deal with these feelings at the moment? Typical me, I take the blame over the mistakes we made. Yet I keep asking myself; what have I done to deserve this? What could I possibly have done that makes him want to hurt me this much? Yes, this is about an insignificant other. I never share my private issues publicly, but this time if I don't get things off my chest, If I don't talk or write about it, simply put I will explode.

The whole story is long and not worth telling at all. It's such a ridiculous situtation that no poem can be written about it. It has so much ugliness in it yet I was still trying to look on the bright side of it, trying to see even the beauty in that shady, unholy thing that now I am ashamed to have called "love". Oh, how I decieved myself. How I made him up inside my head.I guess, after all I am the one to blame.

I had the most tender and innocent feelings, all shattered now and I don't know what to do with these pieces. No, it's not me, I am just one of the many he used and betrayed in his way, on his way.

Heal; it takes time. I'll just go back to my dark, cynical, isolated world, I should have never left there anyway.


mosquitoism.

She had no best friends
nor did she have any diamonds.



@mosquitoism

I'm in love with the fact that
what you are is
what I'm NOT.
Opposites attrack and I'm
craving what I haven't got.
Please stay and break my heart.
And remind me once again why I shouldn't love you so.


@mosquito 03/10/2014

I let mosquitoes **** my blood.
Fatigue pulls down on my eye lids
as I watch them.  My eyes shut.
Happy and bleeding,
my skin borrows my sight.
Greedy mosquitoes getting drunk;
drunken mosquitoes singing songs.
On my elbows, thumbs and toes
I see them dancing,
I see them floating toast.
Rude mosquitoes. They leave;
they never pay the bill.
With the taste of my blood
they fly away and hide.
I open my eyes, "Here we are!"
Red dots eveywhere and I.
We see them the next day.
Fat mosquitoes. Around they lie.
We want them to wake up but
dead mosquitoes just won't listen.
They just die and die and die.


@mosquito 05/25/2012

If you pushed hard, you would believe
that we inhale the same air
the one that comes from my lungs
touches your lips and tongue.
I am never a romantic, says
my heart beating tic tic tic
I am little whilst you are big
No clue who did the trick.
If you looked closer, you would see
that the little piece of me
in you looking for You in me
Are we not living with lies?
Me, darling, never meant
to fall in love with us.

@mosquito 05/12/2012

Far away
but I can see.
You are smiling
towards me?
Your head's leaned to the right
a bit.
Your eye, the left one
is undecided
whether to hide or not
behind your hair.
Away. Far away.
But I can see
the dimple on your cheek.
You smile sincerely
I believe.
You've narrowed your eyes.
Stupid sunbeam.
Away. Far away.
But I can smell
the scent pervaded all over you.
The summer air blended with a little sweat.
Far away.
But I can feel
the warmth in your hand.
But away. Far away.

@mosquito 06/11/2010

(Typing sound)

(A few seconds of silence)

(Pressing Backspace)

(Typing sound)

(Pressing Backspace)

(A sip of the tea)

(Mumbling)

(Typing sound)

I've been thinking of buying myself a fancy tea set.

(A second of silence)

(Typing sound)

Yes, I think I should buy myself a fancy tea set.

(Pressing Backspace)
(Pressing Backspace)
(Pressing Backspace)

(sigh)


@mosquito - 25.11.2012

They may call you fatty,
scruffy and ugly.
Your name may be vile
and I bet you smell awfully
smokes and ***** and
cheap perfumes of many different
******.
But when I look through you
when I see beyond this fog
and almost feel you inside
I know then
you beat the handsome beasts
you beat them all
with the ruin of your heart that you keep
in the drawer of your bedside table
where you pop off beside
now and then.
And it's usually a.m.
It's always a.m.
Just like now
as another night on earth covers us both
as you wish to be a cat in your next life
as the street-lamp peeps into our loneliness
I raise another glass full of youth and despair.
Toast to you, to me.
To the world who never treats some of his guests nicely.
So
I choose writing.
"it keeps the walls
from
failing.”
I need the sound of the words
making love with the typewriter.
But I make do with a pen and paper.
I know you own a typewriter.
My time,
must be a bit shopworn
Have you ever smiled by doing a bracket after a colon?
Guess nineteen ninety-four was a bad year to be born.
but a nice one to die.
Though congratulations
you did well at the computers
well enough, like everything else
You take things as they come
and life teaches you how to get used to them.
You get used to living, you get closer to death.
It is not a big deal, has never been.
But it is the only deal.
A deal we can't deny.

All I wanted to say was a
"happy birthday"
but not that happy.

@mosquito