Dear J,

       Did you know, there are billion of stars that made up a galaxy?
       The sun is the closest to the earth.
       YOU ARE THE CLOSEST TO ME.

P.S. Stay close, baby.


R

And if all else fail, do not be afraid of the pain.
It may hurt, i know, but that's how it should be.
You need pain to understand how important it is to feel comfort;
To appreciate the little things life has to offer.
To see the things you've never seen before.
To hear the simple words that could make you smile again.
A thank you,
A sorry,
Or even a goodbye could be beautiful. To realize that there is a big, wide world waiting to be explored.
To summon all the courage and strength you do not know you have.
To do amazingly great things you do not even know you can.
To make you realize your potential.
To know that above all this you are still alive.
You feel the pain because you are alive.
It makes you more alive.
And in all of this hurtful experience, there is God -- making all things new for you.
There is pain because there is love, and there is love because of God.
Pain that is achingly beautiful.
You just have to look on the other side to realize this.

Dear Somebody,

     Nobody wants to see you sad and lonely.


Always here,

Nobody

I'm that fictional character in your life.
The deleted movie scene.
Filmed but never made it to the screen.

How ironic it is that you need to cross on something broken just to get to the other side.
Funny, right? When i first saw this road sign I thought to myself, there might be something wrong in the sentence construction. But as I ponder on it deeper, i realized something significant in a person's life: YOU REALLY NEED TO CROSS ON THE BROKEN LINE TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

There is a cautious voice inside that may cause you to stop in the middle of your tracks. You will experience bumps and may be chased by cadillac pains, and yet...

there is something about your exhausted breathing, strained hands, bruised feet, that sends a tingling sensation into your chest; your pumping heart is still fighting for where you want to be. You take a little step forward. Again. Because you strongly believe that beyond these broken lines, just beneath the horizon of clouds, is the place where you belong.

You cross the broken lines that make you feel incomplete to fill in the gaps.
Slowly now.. making your self whole.
For the nth time.

When i was young, i was very fond of reading stories of different kind. Be it a fairytale where i could be a princess who would soon meet her handsome prince. An anecdote of some legendary ****** who saved her town from a monster.

My books were full of pictures, colorful and in peculiar shapes. But when i grew older, books became thicker and less entertaining for me. The images i am used to seeing in each page disappeared in every turn. As i grew taller, the fonts in my books grew smaller.

I lost the joy of reading.
Slowly, it fades.

But then i met you.
And reading becomes my hobby again.
But it is different with you.
I came to love those complicated, hieroglyphics-almost codes that made up your personality.
I love how unpredictable you are. Like i'm reading a tragedy but in the end, turned out to be a comedy, or a sweet love story.
Nevertheless, everything you say and do, you never cease to amaze me.


I came to love reading...
You.

I lost count of the sheep while waiting for sleepiness to take over.
I lost count of the seconds that tick by while waiting for your plane to take you home to me.
I lost count of my footprints on the sand while waiting for you to come follow me.
I lost count of the dandelion seeds i blew away to the fields while waiting for the wind to whisper to me those words from you,"i miss you."

I lost count of the days.
I lost count of the nights.
I lost count of the stars and stop wishing upon the moon.
I lost my sense of numbers.

Why did i still not lose my feelings for you?

Cause baby, the truth is...
I'm still hoping; not minding how long i will be waiting; that some day, you'll hold my hand and say those three words-i love you-to me.

I'm in pain and it's all because of you.*

I shouldn't have let you in my life in the first place.
I shouldn't have let you creep inside the barriers i've built all my life just to protect my self from this kind of feeling.
I shouldn't have let you own a space in my heart.

Because now, i do not know how can i survive a day without hearing your voice, seeing your smile, or have goosebumps whenever i see you steal a glance.
Because now i do not know how to fix that barrier, or i doubt if it will be strong enough to resists your every touch, your every stare, your very presence.
Finally because i don't know how to take back that space that you have claim, not forcefully, but so effortlessly that it surprise me how much of my self is willing to get hurt. Over and over again.
A repetitive process.
A series of nightmares.
Slowly break my heart, my dear, as it metamorphose into a million glass like liquid called tears.

Until all of the feelings i have for you hangs itself up in the air and be left stranded. Until it is all gone. Gone forever.

-This one's for you.

I have these two watches that i keep for so long. It both held the same  time, when you and I first met.

   That exact minute my eyes witnessed,
that rare of a beauty.

         As how one galaxy collided with other galaxy to yield the most exquisite scenery of stars dancing and kissing each other.

                     Slowly...

                     Passionately...

               I have kept these for two simple reasons.

               First, as a reminder that we are existing in the same lifetime.

                Last, so i will not forget that those watches, contain the time of two distant space.

              ** Just like us.

I lay awake tonight,
sleep departs from my weary soul.
It might be the effect of the caffeine i took this afternoon..
Or the moon in it's full bloom.
But i think it's something more.
Something more alive.
A reason with no explanation.
I think...
I think it's her...

The way she walked elegantly towards me, holding the tray of my order.
    I saw flashes of the future;
a bride of mine,walking down an aisle

the way her scent-a mixture of vanilla and rose-caught inside my lungs when she got so close..
  it felt like every  breath i have is branded and exclusively for her

the way she smiled and the way her voice sounded when she asked "do you need anything else?"
    like the melody of a violin to the tune of Franz Schubert's Ave Maria
So gentle and calm and warm

And the way I was hypnotized or crazy enough to respond...
  You .
I need you in my life .
Will you marry me .

Can you still hear the music my heart is making?
Gentle and clear.
I see you.
I feel you.
I need you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Because...

All I can hear now is the beat of your heart-
Loud and firm.
**I see her.
I feel her.
I need her.
I love her.
I love her.
I love her.
I love her.
I love her.
Not you.

He asks her to write a song for him,
She composes for him, her poetry...
                                                      ­  
                                                        He asks her to tell him a bed-time story
                                                        Sh­e lulls him with her poetry...

He asks her to sing a song for him,
She recites to him her poetry...

                                                     ­            He asks her to dance with him,
                                                            ­   She moves him with her poetry...
                                                  
He asks her, to be his girl.
She smiles, *and gives him her poetry...

Teach a child to beg--
And he will grow with self-pity.
Surviving...
For his self only.

Teach a child to live with dreams--
And he will spring up like a tree.
Nurtured by the world's challenges...
Growing,
For himself.
Living,
For others.

I followed my heart,

And to my surprise...

I found my self trailing off...
Right behind*  **YOU.

Those words I've been dreading to hear,
Not boldly uttered--
But clearly, I could feel...

     Unspoken words, indeed they sear...
     Seemingly rendering you unfettered.
     Our flags mismatched in mauve and teal.

I marched my fingers, slowly,
To your cheeks down to your lips.
Touched the traces of stained tears.
From deep slumber,
You've awaken.
Eyes fluttered open.
Those eyes.
They spoke.
Those eyes.
They told me to stay---
To stay.
Away.

     I cupped your face while time froze in
     eternity...
     Locked in tender gaze as my heart dips.
     Reflected in yours were the wasted
     years...
     Felt the weight of commitment's anchor...
     Dragged over a land forsaken...
     Overladen...
     With dastardly lies...
     Tinting future skies so grey,
     But my mouth would welcome the urge to
     say,
     Of the courage long held at bay...
     This minute... This day...

Sweetly tortured by your kiss.
The pain came.
Swift.
Blinding.
Sharp.
It pierced me to where i am.
My heart shattered before it dies.

     These subtle hints you conveniently miss,
     Only hastened the end of this game...
     Time had seen our hearts set adrift...
     We are only playing,
     A broken, detuned harp...
     Withholding our conflicting wants, much
     like a dam.
     Protecting us from defeated cries...

     So let us dispense with sweet
     pleasantries.
     Let us bid farewell to the dream of our
     unified fates in one painful sigh...
Along with all our
memories.
And your words of goodbye.


iammissbrightside
**ryn

I used to think I couldn't go a day without your smile. Without telling you things and hearing your voice back.

Then, that day arrived and it was so **** hard but the next was harder. I knew with a sinking feeling it was going to get worse, and I wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

Because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event. It doesn't just happen once. It happens over and over again. I lose you every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug, whenever that one song plays on the radio, or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.

I lose you every time I think of kissing you, holding you, or wanting you. I go to bed at night and lose you, when I wish I could tell you about my day. And in the morning, **when I wake and reach for the empty space across the sheet, I begin to lose you all over again.

I don't know if I want you,* he says. But I do know I don't want anyone else to have you.

It wasn't good enough, I knew that. Honestly, I did. In my mind it was crystal clear. My heart however, was having a serious case of selective hearing. All it heard was, I don't want anyone to have you. And within that---was a glimmer of hope, a spark of optimism.

You fill---
My mind.
With words.
My heart.
With love.

Sitting alone.
Waiting.
Amidst the sea of strangers.
Is a dainty lady.
Flowing in her ears, a sweet melody---
The song of a singing violin.
Eyelids are heavy.
Body is tired and weary.
She's now sleepy.
Her mind is wandering towards---
You.
Hers forever.
In fantasy.

My heart...
The only
Space
That
Is
Not
For
Rent.

-

Hindi mo na kailangang sabihin...
"Lumayo ka na sa akin."
Darating ang araw, mapapagod ang sarili--
Maghintay.
Magmahal.
Umintindi.
Magbakasakali.
Ako'y kusang hihinto.
Pero hindi ang puso.


(You don't have to utter words
"Stay away from me."
For someday I will grow weary
Of waiting.
Of loving.
Of understanding.
Of hoping.
Myself, it will stop.
But the heart won't.

And to you who
Kissed away someone's sadness with
Your gift of
Love and Laughter.

Amazing girl,
Soft-hearted, always fair.
Saying sayonara to bitter-sweet
Experiences of twenty-one years. Here
Now an
Endearing
Visage of a woman of fierce.

You to me
are the most beatiful sight to behold.
A work of art.
A romantic story waiting to be untold.
I see you walking, bare-footed on this white-sand beach,
How i want to kiss you inch by inch.
Your dark brown eyes, reminds me of a hundred year old book-
speaks thousand of emotions,
telling history
of great men,
of war cries,
undying love.

We step
Closer.
Closer.
Closer to each other.
Until the only gap between us is our breathing.
Three.
Two.
One.  
My heart thumps in wild skips.
I just pray that before the moon takes over the sun in the sky.
I will be able to ask you,
"Til Forever, will you be mine?"

Let the children's laughter, resound in my memory.
Soften my heart, remind me of it's genuinity.
Whenever patience leaves me.

My heart - it speaks Your name;
Like a fire contained within my soul
It consumed me.
And I cannot keep silent.
Of how the way you love me.