I miss you
When I say that, I miss you more
I’m looking at your photo
But I still miss you
Time is so cruel
I hate us
Now it’s hard to even see each other’s faces

It’s only winter here
Even in August, winter is here
My heart makes time run
Like a Snowpiercer left alone
I wanna hold your hand
And go to the other side of the earth
To end this winter
How much longing has to fall like snow
For the spring days to come?
Friend

Like a small piece
Of dust
That floats in the air
If the flying snow is me
I could
Reach you faster

Snowflakes are falling
Getting farther away
I miss you (I miss you)
I miss you (I miss you)
How much more do I have to wait?
How many more nights do I have to stay up?
Until I can see you? (until I can see you?)
Until I can meet you? (until I can meet you?)

Past the end of this cold winter
Until the spring comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Stay there a little longer
Stay there

Did you change?
(Did you change?)
Or did I change?
(Did I change?)
I hate even this moment that is passing
I guess we changed
I guess that’s how everything is

Yeah I hate you
Although you left
There hasn’t been a day that I have forgotten you
Honestly, I miss you
But now I’ll erase you
Because that will hurt less than resenting you

I’m blowing out the cold you
Like smoke, like white smoke
I say that I’m gonna erase you
But actually, I still can’t let you go

Snowflakes are falling
Getting farther away
I miss you (I miss you)
I miss you (I miss you)
How much more do I have to wait?
How many more nights do I have to stay up?
Until I can see you? (until I can see you?)
Until I can meet you? (until I can meet you?)

You know it all
You’re my best friend
The morning will come again
Because no darkness,
No season
Can last forever

Cherry blossoms are blooming
The winter is ending
I miss you (I miss you)
I miss you (I miss you)
If I wait a little longer (if I wait)
If I stay up a few more nights
I’ll go see you (I’ll go see you)
I’ll go pick you up (I’ll go pick you up)

Past the end of this cold winter
Until the spring comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Stay there a little longer
Stay there

~BTS

Your smile

Has melted my heart

Your smile

Just one smile

Makes me happy then never before

You know

I wish I never knew you.

I wish I never loved you.

I wish I never saw you.

Before, I thought it was okay to hurt myself.
I said, "It's okay you can handle this."

I tried to get used to the pain.

But I realized
After a several weeks,

That handling was useless.

You were too much pain for me.

Hey,

I'm sorry I was ever in your life.

I'm sorry I ever urged my feet to go sit with you at lunch.

I'm sorry I ever met you

I'm sorry

I

I

*I'm sorry I loved you.

Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends
Chopsticks and Friends





Until when are you going to write random things?

*Haha.

How come when I know that it'll just hurt, I keep on laughing?

How come when I know it will be only a painful memory for me, but keep on smiling?

How come when I know that you will never love me back, I keep on loving you?

Why do I keep on smearing that fake grin on my face, when I know it's not real?

Goofy me and my goofy acts.

Sad. Despair. Pain. Misery. Tears. Cries. Scars. Anger. Broken.

But I keep on laughing.

Haha.

Oh no, put that down right now.

Yes, that blood -stained knife you're holding.

Yeah you. I'm talking to you.

Put it down and feel guilty about the things you've done.

Smoking? Littering? ******? Stealing? Murdering? Kidnapping?

Is it that hard!

Making this world a better place

From the man running in the streets, "Hi."
From the kind bus driver, "Hi."
From the lady who walks her dog everyday, "Hi."

From the wind that flies in the sky, "Hi."
And the greets of the rising sun, "Hi."
The shouts of the next door dog, "Hi."
To all the way across the world, "Hi."
Dances of the wither trees, "Hi."
Smiles stretching across my friend's face, "Hi."

From the deep inside from my heart, I say to you, yes you, "Hi."

Say it!

What's my name

Say it!

Loud and clear

Say it!

Like you mean it

"Happy happy happy!"



*Now be like that.

Love was a gift to us, humans.
It was given for us to use it as good.
But we turned it into evil.

You

A girl who giggles and jokes around.

That kind of girl.

You

With those eyes shaped like the first quarter moon.

And the nose sticking out like a tiny dot

As if she slipped out of a cartoon book.

When *you smile

My heart threatens to drum

And my fingers start tapping a beat

That signals nervousness.

And even grumpy cat smiles.

But when you frown!

That ugliness shapes itself to beauty- cuteness even!

And I start smiling; my cheeks aches from so many.

What a person you are!

You.

A irresistible cute lad.

Annoyingly attractive

Lovely

and cute.




**You.

Hey! They say. Got a problem?
Hey! You say. Got a problem?

Hey! Are you gonna get attention.
Hey yay! Why ignore the inside tension

K! K! Okay, this is pretty smooth
I mean you, not me, please explain the truth

Wow? Wow? Wow! Above ground
***** ***** ringing boom beat holy sound

Then WOAAAAAHHHH

Why.

Is is impossible to happen
Or is the world just too cruel

Do warnings slides by
Is my hope far too high

For this damaged world
To rewind

And if we can live the way we were
Be not blind

Terrorism. Drugs. Brutal wars- and lies sweet as honey
******, ****, kidnap, robbery, and greedy thrives for money.
Pollution to our precious Earth that was given to us. And evil roaming.

Why.

I must be pure. I don't understand the evil in human hearts and hands splattered with blood.

I've always wanted a place of pure and good. Is it just that hard? To not pick the fruit out of Garden of Eve?

Respect. Obey. I guess we, the humans, were terrible at that.
A one simple command. But we can't obey it.

But it's not our fault. We were built like that.

Still.... I just wish the world was a happy place...

With no war

With no despair

With no cries

With no ******

With no wailing of mother

With no homeless

With no pollution

With no divorce

With no evil...

Hey. Don't judge. It's just my hope for the world.

"Add a poem."

It said.

But I don't know what to write.

What kind of poems are there? Love poem? Rhyming? Haikeu? Free style?

I have decided,

This is the poem of "I don't know what to write poem."

Pretty neat, huh?

Haha.

Black almond eyes.
Thick eyebrows.
Creases of her smile.
Creases of her frown.

Pink but nice glasses.
Easy to make her laugh.
A small nose. Like a dot in the space.
A cute voice.

Black thick hair
that reaches to her shoulder.
Laughs
of the girl

Who was the pain
and healer of my life.

**The girl.

I'm not a very good at explaining things.

But I do have amazing ideas I'd love to share.

But I'm not good at explaining.

Haha.

"Would you stop hurting yourself?"

That was me before

But now I'm changed


I quit trying to be nice
I quit stop hurting myself
I quit holding my anger
I quit hiding myself
I quit everything I've been holding.

Pretend like nothing will happen

Slit a scar through my throat

Bang my head to a wall

Knowing it will hurt.

I'm tired of holding it.

The same nightmare repeating itself again and again.
Me being ignored over and over.

Let's jump into a horror of flames
Let us cut our hands of and drink the blood
Let me say hello to a group of murderers.

knowing it will hurt

No one can stop me now!
You can't do it!
I'll go wild!
See me!

Watch me you foolish small girl
See what you did to me
Small ignorant girl

See?





*Look at what you did to me now

Stupid, dumb head me.
I keep on forgetting to like.
Like, the good poems.

Beware humans, you remember
that you have a limit.

Beware you foolish humans, you are crossing a line.
Beware idiot humans, for the shiver up your spine.

I see the ones who cross the line of human
I see the ones who push themselves to inhuman

You! You humans, are you giving me a threat?
I foreshadow your dooms, the money you bet

No creature has gone this far! Aren't you afraid?
Can't you see the destruction you already raid?

Beware! None is perfect! Be the way you are
Press to your skins and feel! The proud white scars

Enough is enough! Now beware you foolish!
Mountains are crumbling, mammals look ghoulish.

Beware you humans, I will repeat!
Until you sob in rubble of the broken streets.

Beware! The perfects who represent your knifes.
You use your brains to spoil your lifes.

Don't you growl at me, you terrible creatures!
You have no one to blame for they are your features!

Beware you humans- I repeat, beware!

**Last time I tell you, no mercy no care!

To the humans of 2017,

The date is January 5th, 3017.

The empty roads fill with hover cars and the streets buzz with noise.

It's a cold day. But everyone is warm. With their coat heaters, of course.
Some people are even wearing t-shirts and shorts.

The sky, blue and crystal,
is overloaded with Flyers and Sky-Cars. People are roaming on the sky streets.

They don't rush because they're late to work, they don't carry heavy suitcases- all they need is that one little wristband on their right forearm.

Humans are perfect now.

None is stronger than other, none is more handsome then other, none is more smarter than other. They share the same amount of money. Everybody is equal.

This is the Happy City. Not a single fight has happened. Everyone is kind. They do not lie, thief, fight, or ****. Not even one commotion happens.

Everything is perfect. Equal. Even.

But that's not what I think.

Humans shouldn't be perfect. We shouldn't have been.

Humans are a creature that thinks, fights, sacrifice, lie, trust, betray, and make choices. That's what humans are like. That's what they're suppose to be.

That disgusting red wristband makes the decision for us. Or at least, them. It tells them what to wear, eat, do, and even decides your mate. We are not humans anymore. We are not perfect.

These people here are so simple. There is no lesson learned, no school or government. Everybody just has a joyful life.

But no! I disagree! We humans should learn lessons, decide good and evil- we must make mistakes! We also must be evil sometimes! That is what makes us human. Those are our characteristics that prove us human.

Dear fellows, it is hell here.

We are not humans anymore. We have become slaves of perfection.

Save me.

**And these humans that are not humans anymore.

My right ring finger itches from that ant bite.

It was first a little speck of pain.
When I noticed it, it was a dot.

I squeezed it. And the dot was swarming with liquid.

It popped.

My eyes spotted blood.
I wiped it away.

But then that bite kept itching.

So I started squeezing it. And more blood came out.

It hurt. But I kept on doing it.

The bite will now grow big and painful.

Because I kept on squeezing it.

I was hurting myself.
I could've stopped.
But I didn't.

Why?

All this I'm doing...

Is hurting myself.

I look deep into the woods

"Play with me!"

Dumb looking kid waves at me.

Then she kicks me over and rolls on me and starts punching. Biting.

I run. "Who was that"

I search for myself. My real self.

I see tears               from a girl

"These isn't fair" what?

Depression. Got no time for that.

I run.

I see a fading image of a girl. This time she's with many friends.

When she reaches her hand to them- when it almost touches, they disappear. Every single one.

She cries.        I run.

Oh. Who's that?

Me? That foolish kid?

With crowds of friends?

Best friends?

Is she dumb? Doesn't she know that they will once go away?

Especially.... she knows.... that friend......... the one she liked so much, almost loved.......

Will leave her.... like told before.....


Foolish! Foolish! Idiot! What are you doing there!

What am I doing? I'm suppose to be looking for myself!

Oh.



Ohhhhhhhh.....






That's me.

My friend.

Made me cry

Today

Not because she was rude

Or mean

I didn't cry because I was angry or sad

I honestly don't know why I cried.

But reading that poem she wrote about forced out those drops of water drip out of my eyes.

"Wow,"

I think

"I thought she hated me"

Haha

Differences in people doesn't judge if they are "good" or "bad."

There are only differences.

"Good" and "Bad" were just words that tricked you, held you from realizing that it was just, "Differences."

                                                                                            -happyhappyhappy
                                                                                                                  2/22/17

Today I was shocked by your words.

Today started of pretty well. You saw me, you noticed me. I saw you, I smiled at you.

I thought.

But when my friend told me you used to like another person, I felt anger.

The person you liked. I'll call her "B."

I never liked B. She was nice, rude, back and forth.

But you used to like her? Yes, I've seen her hang around you, and felt the tingle of jealousy, but, the fact that you used to like her doesn't make sense.

I like you. And I don't think you like me. You think we're just friends. But I think my feelings are way farther than that.

I know it's stupid. I'm not suppose to hate B. But the fact that you liked her makes my anger rise, and I hear from my head- "****."

I'm very confused,

But I love you.

8 poems a day.

That's a lot. Now 9 poems.

Wait- that's a haiku!

You push me away, scold at my acts. Tell me I'm a ****. Idiot, stupid,
I might as just well grin at you. Beam my mischievous face at you.
But you still call me idiot.

Heh, sorry, I know you hate me. Really mad at me.
But, eh! No worries. I won't do any harm.

I lean to your face. You scowl, "Stay away. Don't even imagine, boy."
Ha! I won't kiss you once or such? I'll kiss you twice and thrice, don't care if that's not a word!

I'll follow you around(like a stalker, you tell me), smile, hoot, and do what ever I want. And still you must be really annoyed. Ha, girl.

But I'd kiss you and hug you and pat you a 'good job.' Even if you say "don't" "no" "no touchy" and give me that ugly look of yours, I won't stop bothering you. Even if you're sick and tired. Why?

Because I'm gonna be a bad boy today. But not just a 'bad boy,' a 'good bad boy' because I'm gonna fish for you're love tonight.

Heh. I love you.

And really, I'd do anything to taste that love you give back at me.

"I love you."











*April fools.

My love to you is a drug

I try to stop it,

But I keep on thriving for it.

Is that good or bad?

I read in a book

It said

"Always lower yourself."

"Give up the good for others."

"Lower yourself."






*I think I may have lowered myself too much.

"Hey,"
"Do you trust me?"
"Do you?"

"Yes? Really? Thanks!"
"Alright, but you really have to trust me."
"Really."
"Now follow me."

"See that? Avoid it."
"See that? Obey it."
"See that? Love it with all your heart."
"See that? Please don't get near it."

"Hey!"
"You said you would trust me! You promised!"
"What are you doing? I told you not to do that!"
"Stop!"
"Why are you leaving me?"
"I thought you trusted me!"

"See... I told you..."
"I told you to avoid that."
"I told you to obey that."
"I told you to love it with all your heart."
"I told you not to get near that."

"Why would you betray me?"
"I thought you loved me..."
"See look what happened to you now.."
"Look how damaged you have gotten..."
"Look how miserable you look..."

"Don't worry. I still love you."
"No matter how much you hate me, how much you wash you mouth with lies and curses, how much you disobey me, how much you betray me, I'll love you."

"So it's alright.."
"I'm with you.."
"Don't cry.."
"I'll forgive you..."
"I'll give you another chance.."
"I'll love you forever..."

People..

How come there's this one person saying that repeats His love for you...

And you say you're not cared and loved?.....

Do you think you're unloved?

Follow me

Most people complain that they are hideous.
Terrifyingly ugly.

They groan at the sight of their face and frown with displeasure.

"I want a straighter nose." "My eyes are ugly!" "I wish my lips were more smaller."

And they change it. Not a natural change, though. A change that occurs knifes and scissors and all sorts of tools.

I'm not saying I disagree with their choices. I don't want to be mean. Even I don't consider myself "pretty."

Look. At the mirror. Stop complaining to the beautiful face your parents gave you.

You might not see the beauty right at this moment

Because it's hidden

But there always a beautiful face in everyone.

Don't say you are ugly.

Because you just might not be at that moment.

You may be hiding it yourself. Embarrassed to show the beauty.

You might just not have realized

That wonderful beauty your body was hiding from you that whole entire time!

So don't say "ugly" "hideous" "terrible."

In my eyes... everyone looks the same..... the same kindness... the same beauty... in my eyes everyone looks beautiful...

And you are too.

Follow me


into the depths of horror

but sweet at the same time

Our blood casts a river; a route

to our dreams and hops

Failure is another word for another try

The pain and emotion are the workers

They build our roads for us

Come follow me

Step on your flesh

Bite into it

Cry

Hope

Your attempts and hardship is your road

I am your friend to help you.

There's something funny

Hilarious and weird.

I can smile, grin, laugh.

But I can't frown.

Well,

I suppose that's a good thing, right?

Haha.

54.

That may seem like nothing to you.

But...

Ah..

That was my math quiz score....



****-- Wait don't wanna curse.

Because I'm nice.

Though not in front of math.

AH! I HATE YOU MATH!!!!

Haha.

I was always happy. Cool, calm.
Tried to keep positive.
But things aren't turning out that way these days.

It seems stupid. For me to be feeling this way.
It's not like me. There's something. It keeps on bubbling up in my mind.
Yes, I'm still happy. Or act like it.

I feel left out. Like a extra. And suddenly words don't seem what they really mean to say. Left out. Left out. My brains rings with confusion.
"It's a part of life." They say.

Sure! I believe them. I'm just. Struggling. The world seems darker, and friends seem more evil than I thought. Is it only me?

"They. Her. She. Them." All my friends. No "we, us." Let me just say. One is loved. One is talked about. One is liked. One is popular. And this one... isn't. Then again, "It's a part of life."

I like my friends. They don't like me back. They don't call my name. They don't notice me. They don't want to be partners with me.

I am the only one who reaches. I think they are fantastic friends. And I wonder what they think of me. One leans on other. They smile and pat. I lean on one. They don't enjoy. Joke like. But no.

Am I different? I hope one of my friends can read this and see my inner. Is it just me? My cries shout out on my fingers as I type. Am I not the same! Am I separated! Do I not fit!

It feels stupid. These thoughts. Crawling to me at night, seeping into my thoughts. I feel like a extra. A one that doesn't matter if is gone.

But these thoughts. Don't worry. Just. I guess "It's a Part of Life."

My country's split apart.
And here I am, somewhere else
Relaxing from the start.
My country's president is crazy.
She's selfish, rude and lazy
But here I am, worthless and powerless
Can't do anything for my country.
I'd like to go back there
And do something. Anything!
But I'm still young. Like a broken string.
Who can't do anything but sit and draw.
And read and write.

I really do want to go back home. I do.

Spring.

A joyful moment.


Birds-

chirping, and my ear translating it into music.

Hooting laughter of my friends

Repeating sneezes of my allergy


But


Still



                                        ­            **So calm....

"What happened?"* my inner asks me

"I don't know. I'm so confused." I reply.

"She likes you."
"I don't believe it."
"Why?"
".... I don't understand why she would like me. This all seems like a lie. A dream."
"I thought this was what you've always wanted."
"I know! But...... but.."
"What?"
"I'm so scared that this might be a dream. I'm scared that she'll one day lose interest in me. It's hard to believe."
"This is what you've been always dreaming of!"
"I don't want to love her too much. Because then it'll be more painful when she leaves me."
"I thought you didn't care about pain. You said you didn't care if something hurted you."
"But this is different. It's a different kind of pain. A horrible one. I want to look at her. But when I do, my chest starts hurting so bad. And I want to cry."
"...... so what are you going to do now?"
"I guess...




**I'll love her

I know that loving you will only hurt me

But I keep on loving you

More and more

My name is Happy
I'm happy
Nothing seems to depress me
But I always wonder
Why others are depressed.

For me, life is easy.
I have a religion, family, school, home, friends.
But I don't know why others have depression.
Is it because I have never experienced misery?
Because I never have lost any of my parents?
Because my parents aren't divorced?
Because I have a regular life?
Because my life is perfect?
Because I have no deep inside sad secrets like adoption?

I really feel bad now. I feel to selfish. Some people's lives are terrible, horrible, a nightmare. and I am selfish.

I chew on my finger constantly

It's stupid alright,
I can't stop it though.

I know it will be hard to type
I know the tips of my fingers will hurt
I know my stomach will ache from the bacteria
I know my fingers will hurt

But I can't help but doing it.



It's the same as loving her.

**Knowing it will hurt. Then keep on doing it.

Sing to me oh so sweet one

Sing a lullaby to my blinded ears

Open your mouth

Free the tones

You have been saving for me.

Oh so sweet one

Sing me a song

A song

That will pull me into a deep
                                  
                         ­      deep
                            
                 deep

*sleep.