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HappyHappyHappy Apr 2020
I got hit with a metal broom stick. Twice.

Getting hit for doing something wrong was a common thing in my family. Probably common in other houses, too.

But that metal stick,
I tell you

Hurt like fire.

The first time, I screamed at him. I called him a "gangster". Because that's what he looked like. Beating the **** out of me and my brother with a metal stick.

That night my eyes wouldn't stop tearing up. The fact that I couldn't die was so depressing. I wanted to dissappear from this world so bad, but I knew I wasn't supposed to.

That week my right shoulder turned green.

The next week I got hit again. It hurt more. I remember trying to stop him when he brought out the stick.
"Dad please don't do this. I admit that I was acting terrible, but this isn't right."
I was trying to be confident, but at the same time I was pleading him to stop. Because I knew how much it hurt.


The next few minutes I was crouched against a wooden door, screaming "STOP! I'M SORRY! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!"

(Side thought; maybe this is why I have a habit of blaming everything on me when there's a problem.)

My left arm became swollen. My brother and I were forced in the backyard for 10 minutes. It was raining. And it was cold.

So pathetic. Shivering and sobbing. Texting my friend with shaking fingers.

I knew I should've reached for help. I even got a contact for my church Pastor. Yet I hesitated and hesitated and wondered if I was being overdramatic. Time passed, then the chance that I was given was blown away.

They've brainwashed me so bad.
"It's all my fault. I deserved to be hit. I can't do anything. There's people who go through worse than this. This isn't abuse."


I don't know anymore
I don't know anymore

It's so funny how 2 days after that disaster we were laughing and playing sports in our backyard. Weird family. We always act like nothing happened.

Last night, I had a dream that my dad was beating my back with a baseball bat.

Is this okay? Is this right? Am I being traumatized?

My heart thumps as I'm writing this. I still have a tiny green mark on my right arm, and my left arm is still bruised.

I keep thinking that there are people out there who go through worse situations. They get abused for no reasons.
And my brain keeps grabbing my neck
squeezing it
choking it
slapping my face in the middle of the night

"If you didn't act immature, you wouldn't have been hit! YOU should act up- YOU DESERVE IT!"


And that's the reason why I can't finished my homework right now.

Wanna be friends?
Can someone do my homework for me
HappyHappyHappy Feb 2018
Follow me

into the depths of horror

but sweet at the same time

Our blood casts a river; a route

to our dreams and hops

Failure is another word for another try

The pain and emotion are the workers

They build our roads for us

Come follow me

Step on your flesh

Bite into it



Your attempts and hardship is your road

I am your friend to help you.
hi. i came back. im going to have to delete some poems because i dont like them and for other reasons. ill write poems that are actually good. ill do better
HappyHappyHappy May 2017
I read in a book

It said

"Always lower yourself."

"Give up the good for others."

"Lower yourself."

*I think I may have lowered myself too much.
okay so nobody likes my poems. c mon i just had a great comeback!!! anyone!! fine :(
HappyHappyHappy May 2017
You know

I wish I never knew you.

I wish I never loved you.

I wish I never saw you.

Before, I thought it was okay to hurt myself.
I said, "It's okay you can handle this."

I tried to get used to the pain.

But I realized
After a several weeks,

That handling was useless.

You were too much pain for me.


I'm sorry I was ever in your life.

I'm sorry I ever urged my feet to go sit with you at lunch.

I'm sorry I ever met you

I'm sorry



*I'm sorry I loved you.
sorry sorry~ sorry~ sorry~~ neka neka neka neka
HappyHappyHappy May 2017
Sing to me oh so sweet one

Sing a lullaby to my blinded ears

Open your mouth

Free the tones

You have been saving for me.

Oh so sweet one

Sing me a song

A song

That will pull me into a deep
                         ­      deep

like wow that was random that meant nothing dont mind plz ugh
HappyHappyHappy May 2017
To the humans of 2017,

The date is January 5th, 3017.

The empty roads fill with hover cars and the streets buzz with noise.

It's a cold day. But everyone is warm. With their coat heaters, of course.
Some people are even wearing t-shirts and shorts.

The sky, blue and crystal,
is overloaded with Flyers and Sky-Cars. People are roaming on the sky streets.

They don't rush because they're late to work, they don't carry heavy suitcases- all they need is that one little wristband on their right forearm.

Humans are perfect now.

None is stronger than other, none is more handsome then other, none is more smarter than other. They share the same amount of money. Everybody is equal.

This is the Happy City. Not a single fight has happened. Everyone is kind. They do not lie, thief, fight, or ****. Not even one commotion happens.

Everything is perfect. Equal. Even.

But that's not what I think.

Humans shouldn't be perfect. We shouldn't have been.

Humans are a creature that thinks, fights, sacrifice, lie, trust, betray, and make choices. That's what humans are like. That's what they're suppose to be.

That disgusting red wristband makes the decision for us. Or at least, them. It tells them what to wear, eat, do, and even decides your mate. We are not humans anymore. We are not perfect.

These people here are so simple. There is no lesson learned, no school or government. Everybody just has a joyful life.

But no! I disagree! We humans should learn lessons, decide good and evil- we must make mistakes! We also must be evil sometimes! That is what makes us human. Those are our characteristics that prove us human.

Dear fellows, it is hell here.

We are not humans anymore. We have become slaves of perfection.

Save me.

**And these humans that are not humans anymore.
im sorry if that ******. it was just my opinion crafted into a science fiction thingy magigy. lol. i hope you liked it
HappyHappyHappy May 2017
tick tock tick tock

Time goes flying by

What is this emotion?

Do I want to stop it?

Do I want to let it go?

Mixed emotions fill my empty brain.

tick tock tick tock


12? Already? Am I relieved? Or am I sad?

Have I gone crazy? Why does the clock spin so fast?

My eyes swirl against the misty air
They dart around as if wishing they could stop time, which is impossible.


"Save me"

I don't seems to understand.
wow that was ****** :O
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