I gave myself 2 tattoos
And I dyed my hair again
Cut it even shorter
And dressed in even more black
Yet I still don't feel pretty
There's no meaning here
I don't really like myself anymore
Though I've grown to like me more

Dear [Deadname],
It's been a while since I wrote. Things have gotten better. Not drastically, but small bits. We're still together, so that's good. You'll be gone next year, that scares me. We're close. Very close. That's not a bad thing right now, but it might be later. I'm scared to lose, not only you but also myself. The next year will be tough, that's a fact. This year already is, and I'm doing it for the second time. You make it better. It's still not okay, but it's alright if you're there. I'm scared for you aswell. You, alone at college? It's scary. You're grown and you can take care of yourself but the idea doesn't always sound perfect. I'm gonna miss you. A lot. I'm gonna miss so many things we take for granted now. Hugging you in the break, or hanging out after school. You won't be that far away, but a couple classrooms already seems like a year. I love you. I love you so ******* much, and I'm scared. We'll be okay though, I got you.
Sincerely, me

I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. It's a good feeling, not gonna lie

Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes
And in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes
I mean this forever

Cubicles - My Chemical Romance

It's the tearing sound of love-notes
Drowning out these gray stained windows
And the view outside is sterile
And I'm only two cubes down
I'll photocopy all the things that we could be
If you took the time to notice me
But you can't now, I don't blame you
And it's not your fault that no one ever does
But you don't work here anymore
It's just a vacant 3 by 4
And they might fill your place
A temporary stand-in for your face
This happens all the time
And I can't help but think I'll die alone
So I'll spend my time with strangers
A condition and its terminal
In this water-cooler romance
And it's coming to a close
We could be in the park and dancing by a tree
Kicking over blades we see
Or a dark beach with a black view
And pin-****** in the velvet catch our fall
But you don't work here anymore
Its just a vacant 3 by 4
And they might fill your place
A temporary stand-in for your face
This happens all the time
And I can't help but think I'll die alone
I know you don't work here anymore, I know you don't work here anymore
I know you don't work here anymore, I know you don't work here anymore
I know you don't work here anymore, I know you don't work here anymore
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, sometimes I think I'll die alone
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, live and breathe and die alone
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, sometimes I think I'll die alone
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, I'd think I'd love to die alone
I think I'd love to die alone
Just take, I think I'd love to die
Me down, I think I'd love to die
Just take, I think I'd love to die
Me down, I think I'd love to die alone
I think I'd love to die alone, I think I'd love to die alone
I think I'd love to die alone, live and breathe and die alone
I think I'd love to die alone, I think I'd love to die alone
I think I'd love to die alone
I think I'd love to die alone

This is the best day ever - My Chemical Romance

And we can run, from the backdrop of these gears and scalpels
At every hour goes the tick-tock bang of monitors as
They stared us down when we met in the emergency room
And in our beds, I could hear you breathe with help from cold machines
Every hour, on the hour, they drew blood
Well I felt I couldn't take, another day inside this place
From silent dreams we never wake, and in this promise that we'll make
Starless eyes for heaven's sake, but I hear you anyway
Well I thought I heard you
Say I like you, we can get out
We don't have to stay, stay inside this place
Someday, this day, we kept falling down
Someday, this day, set the ferris wheel ablaze
You left my heart an open wound
And I love you for
This day, someday we kept falling
One day, this day all we had to keep us safe
And if we never sleep again, it would never end
Well I thought I heard you say to me
We'll go so far, far as we can
And I just can't stay, one day we'll run away

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville - My Chemical Romance

Late dawns and early sunsets
Just like my favorite scenes
Then holding hands and life was perfect
Just like up on the screen
And the whole time while always giving
Counting your face among the living
Up and down escalators
Pennies and colder fountains
Elevators and half price sales
Trapped in by all these mountains
Running away and hiding with you
I never thought they'd get me here
Not knowing you'd change from just one bite
I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts
To put this to your head
But would anything matter
If you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now
By the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger
Your eyes vacant and stained
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts
To put this to your head
And would anything matter
If you're already dead?
And now should I be shocked
By the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger
Your eyes vacant and stained
And in saying you loved me
Made things harder at best
And these words changing nothing
But your body remains
And there's no room in this hell
There's no room in the next
And our memories defeat us
And I'll end this direst
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts
To put this to your head
But does anything matter
If you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now
By the last thing you said
Before I pull this trigger
Your eyes vacant and stained
And in saying you love me
Made things harder at best
And these words changing nothing
As your body remains
And there's no room in this hell
There's no room in the next
But does anyone notice
There's a corpse in this bed

Skylines and Turnstiles - My Chemical Romance

You're not in this alone
Let me break this awkward silence
Let me go, go on record
Be the first to say I'm sorry
Hear me out, well if you take me down
Would you lay me out
And if the world needs something better
Let's give them one more reason now
We walk in single file
We light up rails and punch our time
Ride escalators colder than a cell
This broken city sky like butane on my skin
And stolen from my eyes
Hello Angel tell me where are you
Tell me where we go from here
This broken city sky like butane on my skin
And stolen from my eyes
Hello Angel tell me where are you
Tell me where we go from here
And in this moment we can't close the lids on burning eyes
Our memories blanket us with friends we know like fallout vapor
Steel corpses stretch out towards and ending sun scorched and black
It reaches in and tears your flesh apart
With ice cold hands and grabs a hold of your heart
That's if you've still got one that's left inside that cave you call a chest
And after seeing what we saw, can we still reclaim our innocence
And if the world needs something better
Let's give them one more reason now
This broken city sky like butane on my skin
And stolen from my eyes
Hello Angel tell me where are you
Tell me where we go from here

Headfirst for Halos - My Chemical Romance

Well let's go back to
The middle of the day
That starts it all.
I can't begin to let
You know just what I'm feeling.
And now these red ones make me fly
And the blue ones help me fall
And I think I'll blow my brains
Against the ceiling.
And as the fragments of my skull
Begin to fall
Fall on your tongue like pixie dust
Just think happy thoughts
And we'll fly home.
We'll fly home.
You and I, we'll fly home.
Well now I'm back in the middle
Of the day that starts it all.
I can't begin to let you know
Just what I'm feeling.
And now the red ones make me fly
And these blue ones help me fall
And I think I'll blow my brains
Against the ceiling now.
We'll fly home
Now honestly, that's what I said to her
What I said to her.
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
Think happy!

Our Lady Of Sorrows - My Chemical Romance

We could be perfect one last night
And die like star-crossed lovers when we fight
And we can settle this affair
If you would shed your yellow take my hand
And then we'll solve the mystery of laceration gravity
This riddle of revenge please understand it has to be this way and
Stand up ******* tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ******* hand
And never be afraid again
We've only got once chance to put this at in end
And cross the patron saint of switchblade fights
You said we're not celebrities, we spark and fade, they die by threes
I'll make you understand and you can trade me for an apparition
Stand up ******* tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ******* hand
And never be afraid again
Trust, you said
Who put the words in your head
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying
Stand up ******* tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ******* hand
And never be afraid again

Drowning Lessons - My Chemical Romance

Without a sound I took her down
And dressed in red and blue I squeezed
Imaginary wedding gown
That you can't wear in front of me
A kiss goodbye
Your twisted shell
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet
Let's say goodbye, the hundredth time
And then tomorrow we'll do it again
Tomorrow we'll do it again
I dragged her down I put her out
And back there I left her where no one could see
And lifeless cold into this well
I stared as this moment was held for me
A kiss goodbye
Your twisted shell
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet
Let's say goodbye, the hundredth time
And then tomorrow we'll do it again
I never thought it'd be this way
Just me and you, we're here alone
And if you stay, all I'm asking for is
A thousand bodies piled up
I never thought would be enough
To show you just what I've been thinking
And I'll keep on making more
Just to prove that I adore
Every inch of sanity
All I'm asking for is
All I'm asking for is
Come on!
These hands stained red
From the times that I've killed you and then
We can wash down this engagement ring
With poison and kerosene
We'll laugh as we die
And we'll celebrate the end of things
With cheap champagne
Without, without a sound
Without, without a sound
And I wish you away
Without a sound
And I wish you away
Without a sound
Without a sound
And I wish you away
Without a sound
Without a sound
And I wish you away
Without a sound
Without a sound
And I wish you away

Vampires will never hurt you - My Chemical Romance

And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me, take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me, take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart!
And if the sun comes up
Will it tear the skin right off our bones?
And then, as razor sharp white teeth
Rip out our necks, I saw you there
Someone get me to the doctor
Someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom
Gaping hole
And you must keep your soul
Like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
What if you put the spike in my heart?
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me, take this spike and
Can you take this spike?
Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless night time sky?
Can you take this spike?
Will it wash away this jet black feeling?
And now the nightclub sets the stage for this
They come in pairs
She said, "We'll shoot back holy water
Like cheap whiskey, they're always there"
Someone get me to the doctor
And someone call the nurse
And someone buy me roses
And someone burned the church
We're hanging out with corpses
And driving in this hearse
And someone save my soul, tonight
Please save my soul
Can you take this spike?
Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless night time sky?
Can you take this spike?
Will it wash away this jet black, now?
And as these days watch over time
And as these days watch over time
And as these days watch over us, tonight
And as these days watch over time
And as these days watch over time
And as these days watch over us, tonight
I'll never let them, I'll never let them
I'll never let them hurt you, not tonight
I'll never let them, I can't forget them
I'll never let them hurt you, I promise
Struck down, before our prime
Before you got off the floor
Can you stake my heart?
Can you stake my heart?
And these thoughts of endless night
Bring us back into the light
And this venom from my heart
And these thoughts of endless night
Bring us back into the light
Can you stake my heart?
Can you stake me before the sun goes down?
And as always, innocent like roller coasters
Fatality is like ghosts in snow

Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us - My Chemical Romance

The amount of pills I'm taking counteracts the ***** I'm drinking
And this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out
And you can't touch my brother and you can't keep my friends
And we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it
Well I hope I'm not mistaken by the news I heard from waking
And it's hard to say I'm shaken, by the choices that I make
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Well I'll choose this life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And I get a little shaken, because I live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out
And you can't keep my brother, and you won't **** my friends
And we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it
Never again, never again
Oh baby let me in, I'm knocking let me in

The sun is setting
It's getting cold, dear
Take my hand,
I'll lead the way
Out of this place
To the sea
Or the Land
To the end
We'll drive all the way
Until we can't see
The shades of our town
Chasing us any longer

Once I started a book
It had very few pages
Once I started reading
More and more
It never seems to stop
Every page I read
Someone adds another
I'll never finish the book like this
Whoever does so, is not my friend
The letters don't seem to end

I'll be back soon

I'm not scared of the dark that much, nor am I of the unknown. Unfortunatly, the two tend to wind up together and that's pretty frighning sometimes.

"Gay and straight marriage are like bras and bikini tops. They're basically the same thing, but only one of the two is acceptable in public."

I think maybe I got my heart broken
But I'm not really sure
I might have broken it today,
But maybe it already were

I'm unsure about a lot of things
About why I still smile when I see you
Because looking from far away hurts
I guess the pain doesn't pull through

I want you to stay far away
The past has proven that is best
But yet, we both return once again
I'm sure this isn't the last

At this point I've lost count
Of who hurt the most, of us two
They say you'll always love your first crush
So maybe I'm not leaving you

how many water drops
fit in a glass?

are it many?
is it one?

maybe it depends
what way you look into the glass

are it a million tiny drops?
are they seperated one by one?

or is it just a big big mass
is the drop just one?

maybe i'm going to count them once
to see how many fit
but until then we'll never know
but i'm okay with it

{{screams in pillow}}

when ur gf tries to summon a good spirit but summons a demon on accident ****

I'm sorry for being invested in you too much. It's clingy
I'm sorry for being there all the time. It must get annoying.
I'm sorry for always listening. Awful, always have someone to listen.
I'm sorry for always walking around on my toes for you.
I'm sorry you're too busy to not realise that.

I don't think you quite understand how much I have to change myself at times in order to be with you.
           I make sure to change so I will fit all your needs, comforts, wants.
I don't think you realise that I put in so much effort to be there for you all the time. To be what you want me to be.

I don't think you realise that it hurts when you ask for more even though I've already given everything.

I can't really blame you, because I never tell.
              I don't think you'd understand anyways

You wouldn't ever understand how much I give up to be with you, and that's okay. I'm not going to waste headaches on that.
You are my only choice

Am I ever good enough for you?
Am I ever good enough at all?

It's okay that you build a barricade,
But right now I can only see a wall

You ask for one man's help,
You scream and yell

But the reason I'm not ever good enough?
It's a secret you'll never tell

I'm floating half an inch off the ground
Maybe even less
I pinch myself but you're too close
For me to know if it's real of if it's my imagination
God, we're a mess

I got myself the cutest girl
It's been an amazing couple weeks
I think I got myself a girlfriend
With the cutest peachy cheeks

Space, the final frontier
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise
Its five year mission
To explore strange new worlds
To seek out new life
And new civilizations
To boldly go where no man has gone before

I see you drive your bike to the store
Sometimes I wish there was
A little something more between us
Or just everywhere around
I think I fell in love
With the cutest enby in town

It's U - Cavetown

I guess it's just another one of those nights
When I'll spend way too much time
On something so small that no one really cares about at all
I guess it's just another one of those thoughts
And I can't really find a cause
Whether it's all just in my mind or something more here in my life

It's u, it's u
Oh god, it's u
It's u
If you're awake then I am too
If you're lost then I'll find you
If you're hurt then I'll fix you
If you go blind I'll describe the view
If you can't feel then I'll hold you
If you fall know I've got you

And if you fall down too far and I can't see you through these marks
And your eyes are covered in scars, and my head's filling with tar
Don't worry we'll find another way out

Your silhouette doesn't look quite right
And I can never find the time
To bury my hands in words
I'd grow a new kind of evergreen tree, just for you and me
On second thoughts, will you even remember me?

But it's always been u (It's always been u)
It's always been u (It's always been u)
It's always been u (It's always been u)
It's always been u (It's always been u)
It's always been u (It's always been u)
It's always been u
Is it me for u?

xanny - billie eilish

What is it about them?
I must be missing something
They just keep doing nothing
Too intoxicated to be scared
Better off without them
They're nothing but unstable
Bring ashtrays to the table
And that's about the only thing they share
I'm in their second hand smoke
Still just drinking canned coke
I don't need a xanny to feel better
On designated drives home
Only one who's not ******
Don't give me a xanny now or ever
Waking up at sundown
They're late to every party
Nobody's ever sorry
Too inebriated now to dance
Morning as they come down (come down)
Their pretty heads are hurting (hurting)
They're awfully bad at learning (learning)
Make the same mistakes, blame circumstance
I'm in their second hand smoke
Still just drinking canned coke
I don't need a xanny to feel better
On designated drives home
Only one who's not ******
Don't give me a xanny now or ever
Please don't try to kiss me on the sidewalk
On your cigarette break
I can't afford to love someone
Who isn't dying by mistake in Silver Lake
What is it about them?
I must be missing something
They just keep doing nothing
Too intoxicated to be scared
Hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm
Hmm, mmm
Come down, hurting
Learning

Sometimes
                          just sometimes
               i wonder
what it's like

                                                 but thinking about us,
                                         i suppose i just hurt myself even more.

"I love ya so much babes. You know that right?"

"I think I do, and I think I love you too. I can't say with certainty yet, because I am aware I don't fully know what it means to love someone yet. What I can say, is that with all the knowlegde and experience I have, is that I, right now, love you with everything I have"

Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance

Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your
And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part
To change that part
To change
So many
Bright lights that cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
Can you see
My eyes are shining bright?
'Cause I'm out here
On the other side
Of a jet black
Hotel mirror
And I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete?
A love that's so demanding
I get weak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
These bright lights have always blinded me
These bright lights have always blinded me
I say
I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

i ******* hate this. i ******* hate wanting to go back. i know it's bad. i know i regret it. i know it's everything i don't want rn, and yet i still want to ******* go back. i don't wanna go back to giving ******* for money, i don't wanna go back to ******* people in the backseat for *******. i don't ******* want it. but i do. i need to go back because i need a reminder to that the **** away. i hate this, and i won't ever be able to leave

i'll put prints on the wall
blood on the floor
twist and twirl
'til it don't make sense

i'll turn and pull
just more and more
i still have to hide
it's my way of defense