By Arcassin Burnham


Decent degrees,  desert degrees,
They're all the same, you two need time
Apart to lie upon the furbished frame,
I think of love , I think of greed,  I think of hate,
I think of fighting,
They all correspond in what the world crisis is today in hopes to stay away from utter destruction, so the dysfunction
Has a hold on us,
The trees die, corporates build,
No care at all,
The lames they stay in places just to release all their hate,
Then look for a little shoulder crying when the other don't relate,
Ignorance doesn't make it far in a world as cold as this,
It could the power of negative spreading or in the face of a fist,
I think of things in life that keeps me living for tomorrows,
The vultures they creep, while being so flawed,  it's alright,  there are no more sorrows.

at first i looked at you with my teeth barred and i hissed. under my breath i spoke, "great. a room mate in treatment. just what i needed."
i spoke but two words to you,
and then you spoke back.
softness, kindness, genuineness in your voice.
and when you laughed, the little snort you did made me smile.
we shared our stories for those two hours.
people stopped by our door and stared in looking at why we were laughing so hard, and then they laughed because we were contagious.
we shared the same issues, and made light of our situations, finding love and comfort through one another.
and when i cried, you swaddled me and fed me words of peace and wisdom.
when it was a hard day we had to ability to place our hands on one another backs and say to the other, "hey, i know today was hard, but I am proud of you." And when she was proud of me, I was proud of me.
I was proud of her.
I was proud of us.
And she was my best friend, and the amount of times we repeated the words, "i love you, i love you, i love you." to one another. Is unimaginable.
But, as all good things do, everything started to fall apart.
Or maybe just I did.
I said things I regretted.
I hurt my best friend. The person who I loved, and in turn hurt myself.
I loved her.
Oh my gosh I loved her. I'm not gay, at least I don't think I'm gay,
but i loved her more than any pulsing, living, breathing thing on this planet and I know they say soul mates have to be romantic but why can't they just be your best friend?!
And when we parted and I didn't get to touch her skin again, it's been what seems like years now, it's as if the winter came early.
A darkness fell upon me and oh it was dark.
Darker than her hair.
Her wardrobe.
Her sense of humor.
And now we rarely talk.
I love when I see your name pop up on my phone, the purple heart emoji next to it, that's my favorite emoji, I use it for the best people.
And I ******* hate it, too.
Because I can't put into words how sorry I am.
How much I miss you.
How much I need you right now.
Maybe I loved you so much because you gave me the feeling of importance that no one else ever did.
I can't put into words that you were exactly what I wanted in my life and now you are gone and I can't get it back.
Although,
maybe I just did.

The day I stop wishing for you to back to me,
Is the day you’ll actually return.

The saddest part is
You can't even tell yourself
Apart from the drugs

I am no longer a child
Not the innocent, little girl I used to be
She is now but a memory
Replaced by a new face
It is unfamiliar and out of place
It's eyes so distant, they are alien
Coloured in with grey pencil
A complete contrast
To the rainbows that once filled them
They are gone now.

I miss her:the little girl
She was bright and she was bold
And I miss her
She used to wear sunshine coloured hoodies
With a smile that matched
Her happiness burned like a bonfire
Lighting up all around
She danced with no music
Sang with no song
Laughed with no reason

Her imagination ran riots
Stories flooded out of her
Tales of all kinds
Bejewelled with wild ideas
She dreamed up a new universe everyday
Explored her mind as though it was a jungle
She swung around on emerald vines
Excitedly breathing in
Every scent, every colour, every shape
Getting drunk on endless possibilities

The girl that fills the mirror smiles sadly
Her dull eyes overflowing with invisible tears
I do not know how to comfort her
She is stranger looking out at me
I choose to be blind to her mind
A war of conflict rages on in me
I am angry, red hot
Knowing she took away the sunshine
Though I feel pity, too, for the blue salt trails
That form crystals on her fading cheeks
Pity for colour she is rendered.

I think it will take me a long time to ever truly trust someone again.

Including myself.

You make me feel light as air, gazing at the world without a care...

(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

Don’t

Is the worst
Word

It limits
It binds
It confines

Chokes
Off
Life

Don’t go too far
Don’t run too fast
Don’t work too hard
Don’t fly too high
Don’t love him or her
Don’t cross that line

Red warning lights ahead

If you

Don’t

Fall in line

But not me

I want to build the biggest wings

And
Fly
Until
My
Skin
Is
Ablaze

I want to break
All the boundaries

I want to go where
I shouldn’t

I want to feel
So alive

That
Every
Second
That passes

Is
A
Glorious
Eternity

Fearless passion

As
I dive
From
On
High

And even
If
I go
Down
In
Flames

It will
Be
Such
A
Beautiful
Demise

Every
Single
Moment
Of
My
Burning

Will
Be
Worth
It