If you took the time
to become who I want you to be
...
*You'd be dead

I fell in love
with the evil inside.
I fell in love
with the pain that swallowed me whole,
the pain that shouts
"I love you"
as the dagger hangs out the back.
"555
666
what the **** are ya gonna do *****?"
My life has broken into two.
One: good
Two: bad
I cannot choose between the two.
Being  good brings so much fortune,'
but being bad brings fun.
And everyone likes to have fun.
My sinful nature bleeds through my skin.
But my good nature bleeds between my soul and my heart.
The love/hate relationship is always
reoccurring  
What has my life come to offer me,
a cross and crown,
or horns and a star?
Where the hell have I gone?
I want to be a badass
yet be so kind and caring
I find it hard to believe,
I switch in between.
Or so. I. Think,
I am the double.
IT is in me.
IT.
Christ,
Satan,
and everything in
*between

***** bottles all over his room.
She's  gone.
Do to failure  in a nutshell.
His xbox broke
His parents divorced
His job was lost.
He had no where to go.
No place to live
No girl to love.
Took a glock
To the woods
And
Ended it all.


Police  called  her house
Shr heard the news.
Her ex was  dead.
Not even a month had passed
Yet he took  it so hard.
She  bought  his favorite liquor
Drank it  all that night.
She had a job
She had  a new boyfriend
She haf a home
Lots of money
But no one understood
Her guilt
She  put him down
So much
She didnt know she hurt him so much
So
She grabbed a rope
And jumped
With a slight snap
She was gone.
The two were expecting  eachother
Somewhere  in the vast
Idea of
Time.
Love is crazy

What is the meaning of life?
What is the answer.
No, not a complicated equation,
no, not the so called "science" of humanity.
I just want a simple, simple answer.
Maybe life is so the air feels important,
or maybe life is for the sky to feel beautiful.
Maybe life is for the grass to feel warm.
Maybe life is for humans to accomplish.
Maybe life is for animals to feel joy.
Maybe life is for music to be heard,
for food to be tasted.
Maybe life is just...
life

Met
In a time
When needed.
She
Is a girl
Worth meeting.
She always knows what to say
Though sometimes a delay
She makes this day today.
Im not flirting
But it must be said
This girl
Is beautiful.
Ive never seen a brighter  girl.
She knows the  world
Just as well as i do
And we both know a narcissist
In our homes.
This girl,
Just so **** funny.
Makes me laugh
Makes my day all sunny.
I know this doesnt cut the gap between us and our distance
But  it doesnt matter
Because friendship doesnt know distance,
Only persistence
She comforts me.
And i know i try,
But she knows why.
There is no limit of compliments
I can convey to this girl.
This girl
Wasnt afraid to know me
Im curious why
She accepts me so well.
Humor
And
Wit
Makes this girl even more better
More and just a bit.
This girl comes to know me
And more she has yet
I look forward
To taking those steps.
Friends and family
Yet already.
Time knows no difference
Between  laughs
And tears
Both shared
Between years to come

Thank you
For coming into my life

popularity is so overrated

the countdown
for nothing
  #1

I love the way you love me
The way you hold me.
Your body like silk
Soft to the touch.
your touch like angel kisses
Each sigh like messeges sent from heaven.
The way you look into my eyes
Such power.
I love the way you wrap your body on mine.
I love the way you feel each of my muscles,
Feeling every detail,
Every vein
I love the way you have your way with me
And with each ******
A storm of happy emotions
And new beginings come to life.
The way you have your way with me
Unlike anything else.
So splended.
I love the way you cuddle me,
You care so deeply
so genuinely
Make me feel like a king
To the point where i sing.
You are worth everything.
I give you my all
And you take it
And beg
For more

broke
as my heart
as my wallet
as my love life
as my hope
as my family
as my earphones
as my washer machine
as my mind
as my soul.
as your word's meaning when you say
"I love you"

through the window,
lies a playground.
It hasnt been inhabited in years.
this particular ground,
once held pain.
But the hawks now stalk it,
waiting for dinner.
Its funny how
such a place of happiness
turned to a place
where even vultures don't dare go.
I watch the paint chip away.
at  dawn it disappears.
the same way the children did

When someone dies,
there will always be that ONE person who tells you,
"get over it"
as if the world hadn't stopped as soon as they left.
But what they don't know is the gaping hole in my heart.
The huge absence that was once always there.
Mourning is not just a word,
it's a practice.
Each time, we get a little better.
But tears still end up winding their way down our cheeks.
Each time, it brings a pain not felt last time.
Each time, bringing regrets and taunts because there was just something we did or didn't do.
But if you truly have the audacity  to tell me to get over it,
well,
let me tell you that the person I mourn for,
will not be coming back any time soon.
And when you open your mouth to speak,
you open your heart for all attacks aimed right towards you.
I will not stop crying so you can stop hearing me.
No.
Because my tears are life,
and they bloom to show that I am a human.
You cannot define me by something,
if you have felt it for yourself.
Who can say,
they've never lost a thing?
Because I can count one.
You lost respect
from ME

No
no
no
You are wrong.
About me.
You have always been one for anger,
violence and oppression
You have always been one
to lash out against others who
don't agree with you.
You say it's possible to change,
I've been waiting for years
This abuse,
this warfare
is my life now.
I wish I could go back
to a time
when I could be myself.
But,
like many other things
it just isn't possible
You have wrecked me.
My life
my soul
my hope
my dreams
my aspirations
my everything
you have made depression
a ******* reality
You ******* my life,
stirred my family,
and caused nothing but raw hate from me.
You are so cold.
So unforgiving
You preach about the "good lord"
where was he when you were on top of me?
YOU ARE A ******* *****
do you know that, dear sir?
YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR HUMAN LIFE
did god tell you that yet?
YOU ARE A VICIOUS ****** WITH A FIST
that's really quite scary.
I am so tired of you
I am going to leave soon.
From you,
from all of this.
And when I'm gone,
you''l have to wonder,
"Where did I go wrongGgGgGg?"
Well let me tell ya,
you went wrong
the very day
you met me.
*****.
I ******* hate you.
Everything about you.
Everything.
I'm breaking down.
can you see my cracks?
I feel so alone.
You told me that.
I have gotten darker by the day,
and I don't care if I stay in this world.
I'm losing all I care about,
because your hate is like poison.
It spreads.
Through me,
through mom,
through the whole **** family.
And you sit there,
on that god forsaken couch
gorging yourself in snacks and sweets,
expecting the world to bow
before your swollen feet
I am angry "dad"
I am upset.
You will feel it soon.
I can promise you that.
You have nothing but a dead son coming,
better start planning.
And if you touch my sister,
death is coming
goodbye, Mr "dad"
*I'll see you in hell

My mind is a minefield

Me,
Sitting in study hall,
i don't know a soul.
As a matter of fact,
I don't know MY soul.
I wish i could make sense.
I wish I could tell you why
I separate myself
from everyone and anyone.
I feel
like a lost dog.
Wandering the streets looking for nothing to find.
I feel like a star,
exploding through supernova.
I feel my body go limp.
I fall to the ground,
like a stuffed animal,
but instead of white stuffing,
I am filled with lies,
and pain,
abandonment.
I wish there is something I could do
to take this pain away.
I tried to pray,
I tried to stay,
but all it did
was push me away.
I feel so small.
alone
Peculiar.
But the thing is,
there is no logical reason.
Maybe it's because I have not been clinically diagnosed
with depression yet.
Is it apparent?
Does it appear in my poetry?
I want to make myself a god,
but i am only a powerless human.
A ghost in the fog,
no one to see me.
I wander for days
like a stray dog,
looking for
nothing.

You should never have to break character
*if that is who you really are

a man who writes,
is a man who truly bleeds

Everybody is waiting.
Waiting for the rain
Waiting for the sun
waiting for family.
I am waiting, too
waiting to get away,
to finally live happy,
have no fear,
and to be who I was always meant to be.
I am waiting to be loved,
loved like no one ever has.
I am waiting for an opportunity.
An opportunity to break free,
and tell him how I really feel
I am waiting for the wind,
the wind to take me away,
and to take me somewhere free
I am waiting,
what are you waiting for?

They ask us
to take a hearing test.
We raise our hand
when we hear the sound.
They test our sight
tell us to tell them what we see,
when they should be checking
if we can see past *******.
What they should be giving us
is a personality test.
Tell me who I am.
*******?
Workaholic?
compassionate?
because people
are  always wrong
about just
who the ****
they think they are

At 9:00, things happen.
Some go to bed,
some start a party,
some cook dinner.
As for me,
I HATE 9:00
I hate this time because it means
my routine.
In my routine,
I have to avoid the news.
I have to go between a split second between
the last show and the one commercial after it.
If I miss 9:00,
if I accidentally let it pass,
it means for me
another beating.
Another night of restricted sleep.
Another night of senseless ignorance.
  9:00,
its cursed.
Don't let the time
come back to 9.

In order to win
you have to put in effort

I count the days
i count the nights.
It's been a while since the last strike.
96 days, to be exact.
I wonder,
when he will lash out again.
I watch his every move,
he knows we're watching.
But still he dares to smile.
I get sick just thinking,
about the stuff he's done,
and the things i can't fathom,
that he plans to do.
I know its coming,
I can feel the pressure.
I just wonder when
his next attack will commence.
Because it will..
I know him WAY too well.
So for know,
i guess i'll just keep counting

quak
x 1000000000000000000000000000000000000
x 111111111111111111111111111100000000000000000
xinfinity

"It's the start of the end
Surrender the throne
The blood on my hands covered the holes
We've been surrounded by vicious cycles
Are we truly alone?
The scars on your heart are yours to atone"
_____________
when you build
what couldn't be built
and you make
the impossible come true
bu lose it all
to a fool's steadfastness.
Shutting out
all to come
but running
the empire of souls.
The twists
the turns
all in between.
With an empire of souls
but no love between
This empire I hold
is like a tower
fate shall decide
whether to allow it to stand or tip
This empire I hold
can take me away.
Shall I balance?
Or abide with eternity.
Love this love which shall love it's love.
Beasting the ether with more from above.
Confusing it may sound,
it makes sense to me.
because of this empire I hold to thee
Be so careful so blasphemous it seems,
how lonely light seems to gleam.
Empire,
the one I hold.
Remarking the choice to love?
Shall I, o countess?
Shall we see eachother
in the empire of love?

I just feel dead, okay?!?!

My nostrils  burn.
******* shot up to my brain.
Addiction hurts.
Its not too late.
Rehab.
Decaf.
All the same.
Babe,
Help  me
Dont let me die

Knives hurt  just as much as words do
But  i am expected to ignore it.
As if there wss nothing said.
As if the word "*****" didnt exist.
As if these  bruises and wounds  did not ******  my body
Well,
Turning points are bound to happen
Right?
Isnt what people say true?
Doesn't ill fade eventually?
I hope so.
Hear that?
I have hope now
Because i realize
I let them hurt  me
As long as i internalize their anger.
But hatred is a game
And im gonna win

I am among you.
I read your poems,
as you read mine.
I give my likes
just as everyone else.
I re-post the ones i especially like
just like you
but see,
I have only just now begun to realize,
that I have neglected things.
I have neglected the bright sky outside.
I have neglected true meaning behind words.
I have failed to show my gratitude for life
I know I write dark,
that won't change
because that is how I feel
inside
But,
It doesn't mean I should dwell in it.
I need a shift.
I need to look at the bright side of things.
Like the fact that I am not living on the streets.
Or the fact that I am not a spawn in war.
I should be happy that I can (usually) eat every night,
and that I have a school that will make me learn
I have only yet to express
how this world can be so dope.
I haven't yet spoken
on my affair with the moon,
and her beauty.
I haven't talked about the grass,
and the stars
and the animals
that truly make this world what it is.
I haven't spoken about the beauty of you
in a long time.
I haven't opened the window
and let the soothing wind
blow kisses on my cheek.
The small things in life
deserve a big shoutout.
Earth is a beautiful place,
why do we feel so dark
well,
I don't know.
All I know,
is that it is time
*to have a good day

Did you sit on sugar?
because you got a sweet ***
XD

If you're going to hell,
don't worry
*The best people are

that was the day I began here.
That day I decided to try my luck here.
Hello Poetry
google brought you to me.
I wanted a place to be myself.
A place to write,
have it read.
And I found you all.

My first follower,
Randolph L Wilson.
The moment I saw the 1
My brain blew up in happienes.
someone likes my work!
I thank you.
You brought meaning to these words.
Then the next follower.
And the next
and the next,
until today,
we are here.
You are reading this poem, and I
well I can't quite tell you exactly what I'm doing.
But,
I was born again here.
To all of you.
Even you
I am yours,
these poems are for you.
Maybe to help,
to realize,
to be happy.
Thank you for being here,
people of hello poetry
thank you,
thank you,
thank you.
I can't believe we've gotten this far,
in the last two months,
and we can only go further
**together

On Sunday, go to church. Worry about singing too loud and fear saying anything “ungodly”.
Later on Sunday, get home and go find something to do (don’t bother Dad). Feed the dogs and don’t overfill the bowls past the base or else you pay for the bag. Mow the lawn as well on Sunday and don’t leave any mow-hawks. That leaves the yard presentable. Next, help Mom with dinner, and don’t clang the pans loudly. Don’t let the sink water hammer because that will ruin the pipes. Don’t give dad a glass cup( and always give him the biggest serving) .Wash the table and use dad’s homemade disinfectant spray (it makes him feel proud). At seven, -- and don’t miss it for the world—get the dogs out again a quickly as possible.   Then wait until a commercial comes on before going to bed (the news is important to dad, so don’t interrupt it).

I look back.
Baby pictures and best friends.
How we've  all changed .
We've  gotten our own lives,
Lovers...
Some not
And we all end up moving on.
I can't help but wonder
Do they think about me as much as I do them?
I think about my past more than  I should
And I conjure up memoried hidden between time.
I count every time we talk
And every time we laughed.
My friends  still hold a spot within.
I havnt  forgotten you.
Have you?

Child,
keep your brain pure and clean.
Please,
don't fall with society.
Lust has taken over,
innocence is fading.
These people,
they have stopped caring
about everything.
A value no longer seen.
everyone has done something
even me.
Which is why you,
the innocent
are our last hope.
Keep your values strong.
Never forget how to see light,
even though earth is shrouded in darkness.
Keep everything special.
Love everything
hate nothing.
darkness is everywhere
but you must keep things bright
Innocence
a word lost in time.
Advancement in the wicked
takes over the good
and darkness begins to appear.
Child,
do not be afraid
this world is just plain ****.
But you live here too.
Make this ****** world
become your paradise.
Stay innocent
stay,
just stay
*innocent

Is it okay to feel afraid?
Because i
*am ******* terrified

You cannot take me down
The incredible thing is
i have stopped you already
I know you.
Everything.
Who you are
What you hate.
And that will lead to your downfall.
I PROMISE

My dads room was often dusty.
He had...things in there.
Things that would strike a childs curiosity.
Exept
It wasnt my curiosity.
He got home from work
Us kids were home alone.
He saw little fingerprints on his dresser.
I was called up to his room
He snatched my hand
Pulled my thumb
And planted a print right next to the crime scene.
My thumb matched the other one.
I pleaded with him that it wasnt me.
And it wasnt.
But he hit me
And told me i was lying
He told me he wouldn't stop until i admitted it
So i lied.
I told him i did it
I didn't.
I was treated like a dog
Had nothing to do with the situation
Just his way of ******* my head.
He
Made me lie
About a truth
That was easy to tell.
I didnt go up there
Someone else did
But like always
I fell for the crime i didnt commit.
Who the **** lies and says he did something that he didn't.
It happened all the time.
I was
I am
A truthful person.
But he made me lie
About being a liar.
And thats how he kept it.
****.

death toll increases everyday,
can the madness end?
The music box keeps rolling on,
"Til' death do us part"

death
waits for
*no one

my head is my enemy.
it always catches me at my worst moments.
My head makes me wish to die.
My head makes me feel like I am worthless.
maybe my head is right
My head gives me thoughts darker than the night,
My head makes me think I am sick,
coughing up evil,
and damning me to death.
My mid makes me crave pain.
It makes me crave it like an orphan craves  a home.
darkness fills my head.
darkness clouds my soul
I don't need this, I know.
But some part of me always listens to my head.
I am easily swayed,
just as equally paid back
with pain
its like
captain ghost
whelming this life.
My brain is infected
with depression
there is no cure
l
            e
                         t
  
m
                  e

D
              i
                       ­       e

First, you look them in the eye.
Say, " it wont be the last time"
Watch them cry.
Let your heart break.
Hold them tight.
Remember this night
Because
It may be all that will remain
Trying to capture restraint.
You let them speak
Not just hearing but listening to their words.
Let the ghosts between you free.
Bury the hatchet and let the crown rise up.
Tell the one that they're the one.
Look away
Cry some more
And close the door.
That
As hard as it is
Is the way
We can say
Goodbye

right now,
I crave conversation.
I sit alone.
Waiting for her to finish.
I sit here
hearing all conversations.
One is about football
another is about plans for this Wednesday.
I want to be talking.
I want to be apart of something.
right now
My spirits are low.
Right now,
it seems like these gray tables are going to swallow me whole
these chairs hurt.
there is a model rocket above my head.
I want to fly away in it
Zoom past the stars,
the planets
and everything in between.
I want to be one with the air.
One in the soul.
forever
I feel alone.
Alone
I wait...
still waiting
but what can I expect?
Some things are really important.
Sorry I tried to keep you,
but this feeling is why.
Woops.
So yeah,
I feel alone.
So alone.
Its noisy,
yet I feel the silence.
Dark, silent silence.
Why did god create this feeling.
Its quite ugly
this is getting repetitive.
I know.
but I cant help it
I feel alone