I hung a noose
I put a chair below.
Ive been watching the thing sway
For about an hour now.
No one is home
No soul to persuade me.
If this was my goodbye,
Would you miss me?
No, i dont think i would be missed much
Most of my life
I was...am a swing n' a miss.
And if someone doesnt hurry
I will be swinging soon
I was hoping that my countess
Would greet me soon,
But i was only met
In total utter silence.
My will is to stay
But the worlds will is to let me drown
And this noose
Is speaking so soothingly to me.

the curtain rolls aside
The stage sets
The lights flicker on
Everybody is waiting.
And suddenly
it begins
The fake facade
The fake tears that cascade
This entire thing is an act
Nothing but predators in the night.
And though everyone wants to fight
Things just get too **** tight.
We want to be exposed to the light
But the play begins to take flight
And stunts are executed at devestating heights

This play
The theatre is all an act.
The metaphorical phrase for life.
And ****** at best
The masquerade of faults
The sins
The lies
Beginning to become more of a circus.
And as this blood runs red
This...act runs dark.
The curtains still pried open
Set on the openess of a prairie.
These people.
The ones who lead us on
The never ending Mirage.
Until this act is exposed
The audience shall be snatched into grievience.
The fakes strut around us.
They show the underside quickly.
The ugly scene
That proved to be the ******.
The jaw dropping ****-canned conclusion.
But imagine the actors
Exposed and afraid.
Alone without makeup and masks.
Turning until someone asks
where the ***** the director?
Abandonment from the puppeteer himself
Waiting for everyone *else to
Show themselves
For who they really are.

Undesirable
unwanted
unquenchable
undeserved
unsatisfied
Is what i feel like.
But all i wanted to be
Was *inseparable

When im around you,
i find myself biting my tongue
...
**alot

Shhh child
*this world,
Its all a dream

Acting of love
Acting of hate
both the same
Always
From the heart.

My voice has often been silent
My voice hass been so
Quiet.
Shhhh
Shhh
Sh
S
.
I was taught to stay silent, disreguard all anger
But one day i was caught
I spoke out.
I was going to tear the barriers he made down.
When i spoke
Only one stood.
But that person made me feel so good.
I found the gift to lead.
I planted a seed.
And now,
My empowerment is growing
sprouting
&
Im getting older.
Im seeing the world for what it truely is.
It is not the painted picture i had been lead to believe it was, no.
It is a dark place.
No face to trust.
which is why
I want to change this place.
It starts with one,
One who marches to the beat of his own drum,
His own heart
MY VOICE
Will grow
L
LO
LOU
LOUD
LOUDE
LOUDER
Until the world either falls or stands
But i want to fix things.
End police brutality.
End racism
End slavery
End sexism
End hunger
And i know im not the only one for change.
You...YOU!
You have just as much power as i do.
We are limited only by our cell,
With the key in our pocket.
The door is wide open
The time is now,
But will you choose to walk through it?
The world needs you.
The world needs me.
Because we are lost.
And though we may not be wandering,
There always is a path.
And my voice is leading me
Where's yours?
Where is the hero in you?
Where is that soul that burns with passion
i dont have one
*******!
There is something in all of us!
We need to be awoken.
And if my voice is the one to wake us up
so be it

Lets fight
What this world
*has deprived us of

You told me i make you smile.
i love to do it
See because i know more than i lead on
I see your pain,
Though i cant hear your voice.
I want to hold you.
I wish i could somehow take her hateful words away.
No one deserves hate.
And you, my friend knows what its like.
Somehow i know that you are like me,
always counting
Counting the times we fall,
The times we didnt get back up
And ***,
Know you are not alone.
Ive wanted to write you something special for a while now,
you know who you are
Just allow me to hold your hand,
Look into your eyes
since you love mine
And  let me tell you
To keep hold,
To never let go.
We are never born without purpose.
And yours,
Yours is gonna be big.
You just hold on.
The sky
All the stars,
Yours for the taking.
I cant tell you
What you mean to me.
You give me a child-like grin,
You often make my heaad spin,
And sometimes i want things to slow,
But you make my heart beat so fast.
You are special.
You will do great things
And when the curtain falls,
We are gonna give a big bow
*a job well done

In so many ways
i was counting on you
Like the last draw of a card,
i needed you to be the one
But,
As all things do
You passed on,
Your love went from me to the next
And you
Just left me to be forgotten.
I
Was counting on you
To be the one to end my loneliness.
And
For a short time you did.
But as all things do,
You passed on.
You went away,
Down the rabbit hole
To continue to feed your lustful nature.
You used to love on me.
you were a fire *******
But as all things do,
Yes
Yes
As all things do
You passed on.
I wasnt insane
Im not
Really!
Dont argue!!!!
Stop!
These voices
They tell me
As all things do,
You passed on.

We have always been building up to this point
*you had to know it was coming

Im waiting for the sting.
For the gunshot that ends me.
Im waiting for you to give up on me.
Im scared that
In the midst of my happieness
You will come forth and mention your upmost sadness.
Im afraid you are gonna hurt me
(yes, guys get hurt and remember it too)
Im waiting for you to realize what a ****** i am.
I wait for the day you find someone better.
And though you tell me im the one,
I still have nightmares of abandonment.
Its not your fault.
Maybe i should just believe in love,
in you
But im scared
Cause ive put my faith in places before,
*and was met with overwhelmong dissapointment

popularity is so overrated

I said it before.
But i didnt explain.
The complexity of my words.
What did i say?
"My tears are like knives
And im crying all over my body
Ive got scars all over"
See i wasnt lying.
My cheeks look like a cuttingboard.
Each time my body gets cut open
My blood runs black.
It oozes through my veins, and out to the ground.
I am not to be understood.
Like one runs into a train
The roads so similiar
But wind up here,
On this one tear.
These tears that cut,
Are like unopenable doors that shut.
The wind up closes,
As my final thoughts choose to vanish.
These tears
These knives
Prove often to be poetic
Because i often write about the scars.
I often write about my pain
but my silence echoes.
Bouncing
Bouncin
Bounci
Bounc
Boun
Bou
Bo
B.
*silence

Everyone wants to get on the front page
**but sometimes i dont want everyone to see me

If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation
Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you

More and more
My eyes
Are becoming
As his
His blood
Is contaminating mine.
I see his evil soul
Spurring in my kind nature.
He is influincing me
I catch it all the time.
His ideals
His way of thinking
Is starting
To corrupt mine.
Im scared
i will not be like him
I swear it.
Hold me accountable.
I will never hit
Never emotionally criticize
I will not be him!
even if it means
Ending it
**before it starts

I need you
*to kiss me

I may not have heard you call my name
*but i felt your spirit

Its funny
How one person can ruin your life.
how one person can make you feel so small
Its funny
How no matter how hard you try not to let them,
How they are ****** to **** up your day.
Its also funny
How fake people can be.
How they hold up a paper mask,
But only the oppressed can see the stick.
Its funny how one can inflict such pain, both physically and mentally.
Its funny how they can **** us,
Make us feel like *******
And cowards.
Its funny
How, the ***** they are, think that they are so funny

but
It will be funny
*when the tables turn

It feels so good to work hard.
To earn the **** i deserve.
It feels so good to get up,
Get some work done,
And come home rightfully tired.
It feels so good
To use my hands to create, to build
It feels good to get frusterated,
And think of different ways to get the job done.
It feels good to do a **** good job
And earn that pride.
It feels good
To use that power drill,
Use a pack of zip ties
And hammer nails in.
It may seem little,
But i am **** thankfull
To have place
*where i am finally wanted
And needed

Stay lovely

she makes me feel so bad
*But it feels so good

If you think you can love me,
I'll give you a good chance.
But i must say
im really quite stubborn
I will insist that i am ugly
Which in fact i am
I will cry,
though im a guy.
I will fight for you,
Despite my own fright.
If you think you can love me,
I welcome you to try.
The question is
*do you accept this challenge, ***?

The devil told me to hush
*i listened

Images of your face crowd my mind.
Beauty in all you are.
I found that picture from when we where kids.
Best friends then
Best friends now.
But there is something i havnt told you.
See i think i love you.
I find myself thinking about you more than a friend should.
I think about how much we've grown together.
I think about the times ive cried on you, and you on me.
All the times you have told me you might sorta like me.
I want to be more, best friend.
Usually lovers are best friends.
And i feel our connection goes beyond holding hands.
We should be cuddling in my old treehouse.
We should be us
Best friend,
*be my girlfriend?

So emotional
My body shakes
Constant tears.
My fingers grip knives.
Its cold.
And this angry feeling is getting so old
I cant take it anymore
My headaches claim my smile
My thoughts have become so vile.
My chest rises up
And back down.
I break concentration
And suddenly
black
*no tomorrow
Peace at last

I feel like im wrestling with love.
Its choking me
Its punching my ribs
So many times
I have believed in love,
And each time
The haven i build only burns down
I am left with the smallest frown.
I fight for love,
But it dies anyways.
Numerous times i have gone up to bat
But my heart recieved its third strike
My heart has been shot
My heart has been strewn everywhere.
Little pieces reside in memories.
I have fallen so many times
Scraping my knees each time.
I get hurt too much,
But yet
I still believe.
I believe there is a girl
Who believes there is a boy
That will understand her.
That will understand me.
Even though i still havnt seen its full effect yet,
i am willing to die
**for what could be

A scream in the next bedroom
I squeeze my earbuds in deeper.
Constant thudding
Sobs grow louder.
untill her mouth is covered
I rub my temples.
My head is pounding
Just as hard
As my heart.
My moms a victim.
She resembles it every time she cooks for him
His words like fire
Amd
His fists like lighting,
always striking somewhere
Tears are welling up in the corner of my eyes
My toungue burning with desire
For revenge.
Thwack
Thwack.
A boom at the wall.
all i see is black
Mom
Please fight back.
Please.
Sobbing
Fear
And then suddenly
*nothing

The softness of your face
The color of your eyes.
Sounds out the ticking of the clock.
Ive never fallen so hard.
I fell on these shards of glass
I had to pull them out of my heart.
Please baby dont make me start,
It'll tear us apart.
Dont go chasing me
Because I know
If i should stray
These skies will return me to you.
I didnt start loving you today,
And theres not much to say
But your eyes
Through the skies
Are watching me.
And an honor it is to me
To be completely free
To love you so.
Oh in your love i have grown,
Something that cant be known.
Your lips, so full
It warms my soul.
And when i get lost
When i almost die in the frost,
These skies will return me to you.
I will always fight,
And you always hold me tight
We are together always
Not a tide to tear me away from you.
Love me with all you got,
Treat my heart like its been shot.
And dont let me go
*because the skies will return me to you

that little kiss you stole
It held my heart and soul

she is gone
These thoughts run marathons through my head.
My head is against the wall
I feel the cold touch of it
Somewhat comforting to me.
I miss her
But i dont
My foot begins to tap
The house is so quiet, that it echoes.
She was so demanding
So controlling,
But
She was all i had.
But yet when i was with her
I felt like a martyr for love.
I believed it *could get better
But in the end
We reached an end
I feel so alone.
My friends tell me
your a guy.
Go get another ***
So what?!?!
Dont get attatched, just **** the *****
But i know that i love for love,
not ***
Amd i miss her
She was like a drug
I was addicted
But she was killing me inside.
So today i reside
Alone.

I need to hear from you.
I just might die.
Cuz babe,
Im in love with you.
I need to hug you so tight
Cuz babe
Im in love with you.
I need you like the earth needs the moon
Baby,
I love everything about you.
You talk so sweet and
I cant stop thinking about you.
You are fresh beginings
Spurring the heat
The coolness
All combined.
Im in love with you.
I really am.
You are everything.
I know you are insecure
But baby
You are perfection
And i mean it.
I know you want to be adored
And baby
I adore you more than my life.
You are my best friend
You are my lover
You are my all.
Some day
I want to marry you.
Have a family
And be so happy.
My Queen,
Tell me
Are you just as in love?
Cuz babe
*im in love with you

You know what i like to do after a good meal?
*read **** good poetry

Lucy
Oh sweet lucy.
You are so kind.
You always listen to me
You look at me
With your kind eyes.
So gentle.
I love you, my little puppy.
My baby.
Im sorry you have to live with my dad
But as long as we live together we will protect eachother.
I know i can count on you.
Each time i come home,
And your little tail wiggles,
It warms me
I love it when you give me hugs.
You are just the cutest thing
We get to watch each other  grow up
And im proud to be your daddy

You can tell alot about a man by the way he treats his dog
*and my dad just beat ours for doing puppy things

Did you sit on sugar?
because you got a sweet ***
XD

When everything is bad,
Give em hell
*make it worse

Im having the worst day of my ******* life.
No lie.
I sliced my hand open
I threw away about 30 bucks
Im ******* worn out already
Im *****
I tripped 4 times today
And i have a ******* headache.
I cant think straight.
What i need
Is a monster
A popsicle
And a ******* hug

This
Is the night.
I
Am giving myself to you.
You can
Do with me as you'd like.
I dont care.
Tonight,
I am your man
I shall abide to your bidding.
Tonight
You can
Love me any and every way.
This is tonight
The night you have always wanted.
Tonight
You dominate.
Tonight is your night.
Make it last.
Tonight baby
I am yours for the taking.
I am here to stay.
And ooh girl you are worth this.
Worth this time.
You babe
Are ******* great
**** hot
And Tonight,
My lady shall have her way with me.
You
Are my lady
Are you ready to start
Tonight?

Your eyes
As the ocean
Piercing through darkness.
My countess
Take me far away.
Take me to a place
That only contains us.
Your lips
Roses defined.
Kiss me untill
Everything falls away
And we are left
To cuddle in the clouds.
My countess
Breathe life into my soul
You are my everything
I will not fall.
You are the moon
Sitting so high,
You pierce the night sky
And fight all my demons away.
Yes its easy to say.
I love you
Now and forever
My queen,
My bae
:

Im waiting for damnation
Im waiting to be killed.
Im waiting to be rejected.
No matter how hard i try
im never enough
Why?
See you think you are a **** god
And i am like some slave to you.
You said things would get bettet
You said i could be happy
But youre the same still
No difference.
You lied...again
What the ****?

What will break my heart more
a sledge hammer
Or
*your words

When...
It first started.
I got to admit.
i was scared
I didnt know what i was doing.
In fact
I didnt know who i was
Who i belonged with.
I was lost
I continued to wander in self realization.
But you came.
I was already crushing ******* you.
I didnt know a thing about you
but
I liked your lips.
I liked your eyes
I liked your voice
I liked your hair
I liked the way you carried yourself.
I liked everything i saw about you.
And then
I found out
You
Liked me too.
*******-****.
****.
Now i was super scared.
Supernova inside my heart.
I didnt want to **** anything up.
But then
you asked me
And here we are.
Today
Tomorrow
forever
...
**who the **** says magic doesnt exist?!?!

Prepare yourself,
this gets interesting












Have you ever imagined how a hanging body sways.
Back and forth
A human pendulum
The physics between each swing.
The noose,
The body
potential to kinetic energy
Over
And over
And over.
welcome
To the dark side of my brain,
The dark side of my art we call poetry.
This is the side not many see.
Because this side of me craves a bullet between my eyes,
My delicate blood to be splattered as artwork.
This is the raw side of me.
That i dont show people
This is terrible you could be thinking
Or...
You could be thinking
ive heard worse
And maybe so
But nothing is worse to me than wishing for ******* death,
Rather than looking at a ******* abuser one last ****** time!
ive had enough
And
I know im crazy.
But every human snaps...
Kind of like the time he snapped my arm
a slight pop
And
Ouch
A world of pain.
But stop,
And you could be thinking...
now what the actual **** am i reading
Allow me.
You are reading a lonely 15 year old boy's crazy side.
A side he can easily hide,
But has decided not too.
This is the thought of letting my inner self free just once
Letting my suicide revolver speak only in poetry just once
No,
If you actually care
Dont worry about me.
Im fine.
Im not gonna guzzle bleach
Pop a bullet
Or go for a physics lesson.
Nope im gonna keep living
And writing crazy **** like this.
Let my imagination, though dark it may be, run for a bit.
Heres the truth.
We all have a bit of this side in us.
We all have those thoughts.
Those whispers.
And i resist them, yes.
Because truth is,
its my inner brilliance
The fact that i let myself ease in to the darkness,
But refuse to let it controll me...
Its a true gift.
And i hide it
Behind a thin veil of happieness.
Because in the end,
Only a true lover can make these thoughts mend.
(Wait what the ****!?! Is this a **** love poem)
Ha!
Nope.
Well maybe a bit
Its just me
An average guy
Telling you,
Im lonely
Depressed
Insecure.
And i hope there is someone
To come with me
To be with me
To love me
To hold me
To make me feel whole again.
*do you believe someone could love such a wreched person like me?

I know
I know
you thought it was best
got news for you, *****
*it ******* wasnt

you thought i could be replaced
*thats ******* cute

When i go
Do not cry for me.
i know you dont care
Dont remind me of "happy memories"
between them are memories full of abuse
Do not pray for me
believe me, i will be much better when im away
Do not offer to help
i wont need you anymore
Dont shake my hand
you've crushed it enough
When i turn 18
let me go, and dont talk to me
Because
You brought this upon yourselves.
You wont see your grandchildren
You wont know my job
You wont attend my parties
You wont hear from me at all.
You pushed everything away from me
So when i turn 18, its time that i let go of you and start a new, better life

The first time i saw you
I witnessed the clouds part.
You were simply walking
I thought to myself, holy ****
Because
I'd never seen
Someone as cute as you in my life
cliche right
No.
Because see you looked at me too.
And i must ask
what were you thinking?
If...
Anything at all.
I found myself thinking of you all day
Nothing lustful,
No
Just innocent thoughts.
I thought about how clear your eyes are
And how much i would like to talk to you.
Im a loverboy.
God i know.
And i fall easy.
But trust me,
I want you
You are different.
Just like me.
And i value that.
I value you
I know these words are words.
But i am trying to be brave.
See
i dont like to be brave
But you are worth humility
Worth slander
Worth anything.
You took my heart that day.
And if its okay with you,
Id like to implement a no returns policy
Im a simple guy
But my feelings for you are joyfully complicated.
I looked in the mirror that day.
i took a **** good look at myself
And i came to the conclusion that i couldnt win a girls heart like yours.
But i know.
i know
That you dont love for the appearence.
Every time we meet
You greet me with a warm smile,
tight hug
And i hope
You see something in me that you like
Right?
God i hope so.
I can never find the words to tell you
But
Here it is.
I like you.
(As i fall over in ******* relief)

Im sorry.
I couldnt do it.
See the thing is
Pressure builds up.
Fear takes hold
And i am left a victim.
I wish i didnt have to change for you.
When you told me you loved me
Was it true
or was it because you felt you had to say it.
I love you.
But i cant change me
Not even for you
Because i would never ask you
To change
Love me
Just the way i am
Or leave me

I love the way your hands smother my chest.
I love the way your tongue melts on mine.
I love the way your lips brush mine.
I love how your body is so tight on mine.
I love the way you wrap your legs around my waist
I love the way your eyes seek out mine
I love the way you hold me gently.
I love the way your head rests on me
I love the way you run your fingers through my hair.
I love you so much
I need you to know
Every look i get
Every touch
Every kiss
Every time we snuggle
I value it all.
I cant stop thinking about you.
You are so fun.
I never meant to fall in love
But ****,
I couldnt help it.
I love the way we are silly with eachother.
I dont always have to be serious,
You love me more when im not.
You love my humor.
Yeah,
You are beautiful
Godess of the sun.
I love you.
Everything about you.
I cant stop.
You are always there
When i need you.
You love to snuggle
Just as much as i do.
We cant get enough of each others attention
You are so **** cute
You are certainly
*Bae