I hope she knows I suffered through alot of heart break.
I hope she knows I cried during the day thinking about it, laying awake at night restless over it.
I hope she knows I gave away my happiness for her.

          She was worth it.

Every heart ache... worth it.
Every late night.... worth it.
Every tear shed.... worth it.
Every lost smile... worth it.

     I earned every moment with her now.

Endure to become strong
Dear traveller the path is long
Taking beatings from friends and foe
All are required for you to grow
Don't be sad your darkness is gone
I'll carry it for you no matter how long
The nights when you visit me in my dreams
Are the nights I lay awake scream
I'm troubled, dumbfounded and lost
You left me empty with such great cost
Cold and selfish I learned it from you
My love, I endure this new breakthrough

My father left me one night
Not saying a word
Running away from the fright
Of living in a lonely world
Left his kids back home
To find the love of his life
We'll sit here till were grown
He is still chasing his wife
Lone traveller lost again
Romance will be his last
Love of a woman he must befriend
The demon still fights with his past
The dance with the devil
In the pale moonlight
Is better than living with the evil
In the darkest of night
I hope he finds what he searches for indeed
Even when he comes back
Us kids are still left in need...

Sometimes I click on her name and start typing, I ease it and start over.

Second guess my actions.

I'll do this about three times back to back.

Then I convince myself its a waste of time.

I cant help she occupies my thoughts.

ill just push is deep down and ignore it like she would ignore my texts anyway.

Ill continue living my life as if the thoughts and endless,
(but never Written) conversations, never went through my head at all..

Im no knight in shinny armor,
My clothes are tattered and torn.

I would stop anyone from harming her,
Her touch makes me feel reborn.

I tell myself NO, I dont need this drama,
Yet im still at her beck and call.

Till death we still wont part. For you and I an are eternal. The depths of a hell on earth wont take you from me, for your heart lies in mine and I carry it always with me. It is my most prized possession. The love is stronger then the steel that supports a 20 ton bridge. Its my inspiration to move forward in life.

You are it. My fight in the world, for someone so small in the world make my life so much more worth it.

I fear falling asleep for I might not wake up tomorrow.
The fear of not loving more when I had the chance.
The fear of people not understanding who I am, or why I do what it is I do.
We often give flowers more at funerals then we do when people are here and alive, because grief is stronger than gratitude.

If loving you, is a crime, lock me up im doing the time, because I'll always be guilty.
Any day now my heart will bust out of my chest, and ill be gone, im glad I touched the ones I did with my poetry.

I woke up today
much like everyday.
I looked in the mirror and i saw it.
The pitty, this abyss of self loathing
Cold dead eyes looking at a broken man.
Heavily glazed over by sin and betrayal.

I'm not used to seeing me without you
With out anyone.
Burned every bridge I ever walked across

I guess I havent found what women want yet, because its certainly not..

Being there for them.

Telling them how pretty or beautiful they look.

Caring for them.

Go out of your way to do things for them.

Enjoy talking to them about anything.

....and above all, it's not being nice at all...

I think she is perfect, because in my mind it says so, it says follow her because she will take you places. She will make your wildest dreams come true and experience life, so go, follow her till you cant no longer.

But, if she wont let me do these things and follow she will be lost in this abyss.

Shes a cancer.
My disaster.

Her whispers ringing in my head.
Lonely nights i dread.

Those lovely eyes stun me.
Bliss is the touch of her body.

Kills me from deep inside.
I run but still cant hide.

I leave, but im never gone.
Off to tomorrow for it brings a new dawn.

Immortal
was his love for her
She was his Oasis
Without her his travels
It pure chaos
Everlasting hope and promise
The vows they made for each other
Death couldn't stand in the way
Even when it ceases to pulse
Love knows no bounds
When souls finally find each other
And beauty begins to decay
Love is immortal.

To the person who broke my heart, you don't know this yet but you've tarnished every relationship from here on out. Because every fragment of my body I'll still be in love with you and no one could even compete. It won't be fair to them but it's not fair to me if you go

I do it all for you,
I have set new goals and avenues in my life all for you.
I am going to school finally to learn how to pursue my dream all for you.
Learn how to write and do big things iv always told you id do, for you.
I was once the man you saw you wanted and crushed that image.
But just maybe when iv became the man I promised you will come back to me
Became in the end
I do it for you.

The crack in the sky
The blood orange glow
The tear in his eye
Of sorrow and woe
The lost traveler
Love in hand
World unraveler
Heart in command
From the great lakes
To the land that shakes
With a Warm embrace
He meets a new face
The crescent moon howls
The trees sing with laughter
The lonely wolf growls
No happy ever after...

I'm looking for that fresh start. I deleted her number the other day, among others. It was the final step in getting over you. I'm proud of myself and the changes iv done.

You never gave me the chance after a whole year. Well I'm glad you moved on and have him by you're side, but iv I must walk this path alone, know that you no longer drag me down.

Now go on, I won't say no more
My heart ain't in it but I'll hold the door
Watch you leave one last time
Oh hunny if loving you was a crime
I think about you every day
All the little cute things you say
Leave me in more than one way
With time, not even memories will stay
Now go on, I won't say no more
My heart ain't in it but I'll hold the door...

And that's how it starts,
a man in love with himself,
meets this girl who saves him from his ego and in return he saves her
Fade to ******* black...

That **** only happens on screen the real truth is..

Man meets girl,
girl thinks she can change him.
Man sees lust at every corner,
man becomes weak and gives in.
Man looses girl,
man looses every girl he touches.
Falls in love with the idea of loving someone else and how it made him feel.
Man slips into a comma,
drifts off to find her not at his bedside,
not thinking about him like he thinks about her.
So he waits in purgatory,
can't live without her,
but when he wakes he can't have her...
Waits to fade to black.

I just have no will to fight.
Whatever is missing
It's gone for good.
It's left me in my bed
Alone
No tv or radio
No pictures or books
There is no light.
Why when it's missing is darkness related?

I write to you still
But you give no call
I'm worried girl
I started to fall
Left me in the dust
I left you in disgust
Not a month went by
Your with another guy
Hit me like a brick wall
My mind has gone awol
Can't believe you ghosted me
Seems you practiced treachery
I'm still writing to you
If you read them I have no clue...

The feeling is fuzzy,
everywhere but the pit of my stomach.
It aches, more or less moans at me.
Yells so loud the guilt must be herd by my head and the heart nurtures such sympathy.

It rings in my head when it's quiet,
when I'm alone its louder,
like multiple gun shots to the tune of a symphony.
It's sleepless nights,
fighting back hunger
and worse of all
its lying to a loved one.

This elusive term is like
A bright red balloon at the park.  
You have to hold tight,
because if you loosen your grip just alittle... it's gone.

Happiness is a sail boat
Keeping a float
In a vicious sea
Carelessly free

*Basicly happiness is
in the eye of the storm of life.
In order to keep it,
you must change with it.

People are *******
Love is *******
Finding people to hangout with is *******.

Everyones busy with Netflix is *******
Being bored on a beautiful day is *******
Life now a days is complete *******.

Some times it's like I'm a fish out of water
I suffer without you.
You were the air in my lungs, the water I drink the birds chipping in the morning...

Now your the last drop in the bottle, the head ache I can't break in the morning, your the heart attack I lived through making me pale and weak.

Your the rain that never stops, may I ever see the sun again?

Standing under a lone street light
Not a sound Or motion in sight.
Darkness blankets the streets
Masking people I've yet to meet
Walking aimlessly, corner to corner
Mind is racing thinking of horror
Asking questions to myself
Wondering if I'll ever get help
Out of the hall they swarm to grab me
Tie me up and back they drag me
Once again I've escaped my room
Once again the orderlies Loom
That Through all the pain
They tell me I'm insane
That no man could possibly endure
Loves departure.

heavy thoughts bounce and hit memories of you colliding into happy thoughts ricocheting to bad memories. For a split second I think im happy. Right where I need to be with you. reality tells me that I'm still stuck, you're not here, you're with him, I'm still nobody.
just here with my heavy thoughts..of you. Bouncing about wishing, wanting to tease the salt from your lips one last time as we roll around on your couch like teenagers in a basement. The young blood pumping, rushing hormones fueling sinful desires, we could get caught at any moment by your folks. Then I snap out of it, calm myself down and think, at least it happened once upon a sweet time... go be happy with him, this is how it was ment to be I guess.

It shouldnt be this way, a connection lost.
I burned down every bridge that I found and your the last one.
This site was the last small piece of you I had. When I look, its just an empty space.
My poems were for you, a direct line to my creativity.
The woman that throw themselves at me, worthless
The offers I get to move on, useless.
You want what you cant have and I have the worst case of it.
I think I write about you, so later on I can tell the story of a true heros tale.
How I walk through this hell fire of my sins to reach you, because your worth it.
How I battle myself each and every heart ache, because your worth it.
I knew this would be a waste of my time, you wont see it. But your still worth it

Circling through this cavity I call a cranium
Cycling this radioactive water like uranium.

Splash a bit of color on this canvas called life.
Watch it jump out at you like bumps in the night.

Rattling fragment sentences with no complete thoughts.
Franticly thinking stupid, stuttering, ramblings, till I see dots.

Visions come quickly to my sanity bouncing back from reality.

Grasping onto my love for this one girl, is driving my life down in this porcelain swirl.

Sit back, relax, and drink this karma.

Her lips were so bitter sweet, dana could have made my heart skip a beat.

Fall asleep eyes, all night you have fought,
Keep your hostel mind at ease, hello deep thoughts....

Its getting to the point where im not even getting hurt by her actions or rejections, I just mutter "****" and move on now.

If she would only spend the time trying to see and meet other people, on me, she would have exactly what she is looking for.

I lay awake waiting, hoping to have another chance or a sign or something...

God damns if I do, and **** if I dont.
******* and Netflix keep me company now a days, I wish I wasnt so ****** pitiful, where people feel sorry for me, so they hangout. I used to matter. I used to be somebody else.

Loneliness wont leave me alone.

If being single was so ******* awesome, you would think people would be celebrating being single, not have weddings.

This up and down ******* *****. Second guessing, thinking their is someone better out there for you. God its ******* terrible.

Darkness is so quick to Eclipse your light it swallows your happiness.
At that very moment you have an option be week and accept it, fall into a deep depression. Or fight your way outa hell, even if it brings you to your knees and you must crawl back into the light.
Heartbreak swallowed me up, and it took away my love and life. As i am frantically searching for some sort of comfort and pick up my pieces, I have learned the 1st and hardest step is to say "hello to happiness"

It kinda feels like nothing after awhile, rejection.
It's much like being a Detroit Lions fan, always starts with a radiant amount of hope, only to end with sure disappointment.
They say, "put your self out there and someone will come along and take all the pain away..."
To them, my responce is "We all have pain, how is anyone gonna make you feel better if they, themselves can't?

When it comes to poetry,
You were the center of my writing.
My inspiration was your strength.
When you left,
It was like learning to write all over again.
This time I learned to think for myself
And when to close the door on us.

I come down from this ***** high finally,
This ****** lifestyle that I've been living,
This life is a **** hole, barely making ends meet, crazy people ******* like dialog in a tv sitcom. Oh its soo ******. Just like the girl laying ***** soaked in my bed right now.  Life is beautifully painted with sin and good intentions. In the morning I wont even address her by name, fact is I dont know it, shes a victim in my ego boost trap like the girl 45 mins before her was... Strange I dont get caught by now, guess my luck will stay till karma hits me, karma being the stripper I stole the money from out of sluttly skirt, I didnt need the money but the rush I was getting from *** just isnt    doing it for me anymore. I need a new high...