Yes after all these years, I still keep your photo in my wallet, hoping one day you will come back to me.
Its not that you take up all of my mind, I have moved on, you more or less mame up a small portion in the back crevices of it, like a filing cabinet with a really long drawer.
Filled with Memories and wishful occurrences.
I am happy that you are still there.
Reminds me that it happened.
I am happy you and I are different now, shows me growth really does take time.
Most of all I am happy and you had no part in it🙂
And then he walked Graciously into the inevitable
no white light
as he ascended
he watched those below
gather around with love sorrow.
He Turned to say one last thing,
"I gotta go" with a smile
He stepped out of sight
Calm with heavy hearts
Until we meet again.
Smiling when you text has my heart pounding
Grinning from ear to ear, is astounding.
Minutes turn into hours.
No one has conversations like ours
Happy to be cute and smiling with you
Minutes turn into hours
Where did you go? Do I send flowers?
Who else are you making smile?
Who else are you making this final?
I see your not responding to me.
Left on read so randomly
Where did smiling go wrong?
Why did we agree we finally belonged.
No music has to play when I'm with you
We will dance like goof ***** without a tune
Smiling and laughing you have me swoon
Glancing in your eyes has me split in two
From Moon lights 1st kiss
To the mornings with you, I feel rich
The softest touch chills of bliss
The nights with you I reminisce
Two strangers meet at first glance
But all he needed was just a chance.
No obstacle could get in his way
Only mystery would make her stay
He could read her like no one could
She always felt so misunderstood.
He Traced her skin as his fingers crept
He watched as Her Goosebumps wept
Who knew blondes could have so much fun
Only when kissed with the west coast sun
I'm a **** lab.
Your my rehab.
So Dont feel bad
These toxic traits are my craft
Mother couldnt see that
Gave up to relax
****** up and relapsed
Drunk on you, I collapsed
Self loathing has surpassed
Happiness was just a mask.
After the last one we just kinda gave up, as a whole generation of people finding their one and only.
Both sides spilling poison into the water making each person hurt like we do inside.
Cheating on eachother because if it happened to us, why cant it happen to them.
Flirting with new people online because its harmless fun, I didnt make my significant other go to sleep this early and NOT give me any attention.
Sleeping with every person out there because self empowerment and being a ***** (both sides) merged into being the same thing instead of having decency and self respect.
I've had a lot of first kisses since you
None have shot stars to the moon
Fireworks when I close my eyes
Shivers walking down my spine
None other than you.
Too much time has passed
I miss your face like hell
I guess we are going to better places
Move on, we might as well.
I see your eyes in other faces
I miss your face like hell.
I've never known
how to end these poems
when you're the subject..
because to me it isn't over.
The pain creeps on, till I can't sleep
It lingers inside of me deep
Watching and waiting, anxiety builds steep.
Another one bites the dust, love or lust?
Broken friendship and mistrust
Anger builds and fills me with disgust.
Falling for you, nothing I could do
It's going to be slow, letting you go
You planting that kiss, I dreamt it pure bliss
Hope you can wise up, but till then good luck.
Since you, I have had no one.
The girls have yet to come close to the fire you left smoldering in your wake.
There was this one girl tho,
blonde, bombshell and out of my league.
Reminded me of Annabelle Lee
and her kingdom by the sea.
She just happened to be
The best friend of the girl I was dating.
Oh the misery, the jealousy and debating.
Two worlds torn, friendship and loving.
Here I sit silent and suffering
She could be what lifts the curse
But I fear now, I've made everything much worse...
In the bathroom stall crying, wiping away tears
It will be alright you say
Behind the closet door as distant shouting continues
It will be alright you say
Touching hands on the trampoline star gazing
It will be alright you say
Another night covering up bruises instead of a ER visit
It will be alright you say
Putting your heart to someone after all that pain...
It will be alright... you say.
How do I say I'm sad that the one day that's supposed to be for me, is the one day I feel the most alone. That I want to be more noticed by one and yet invisible by the rest...
How do I say that I made great choices in life but in love I'm so poor, that when the after life hits none of the riches I've made could equal to the loving memories I could tr make with me.
How do I say I love the way you look at me and we haven't even met, I love the way you make me feel warm yet we have never touched, how do I say hello when you have yet to hear me...
Shadow shifting in the rain
Slowly driving me insane
Loneliness is killing me
Happiness couldn't set me free
Painful beatings from a lover
Stuck till I can find another
Bruises covered in makeup
Flinching, till I give a quick ****
Writing in my only safe corner
Saving my little ones from such horror
Hide quick hes back home
Gotta pretend this is a loving home...
And just like that the sky blooms
with the colors of fall,
the tops of trees started to change.
The soft blue sky washed the fiery Orange clouds with a pink cotton candy blend, together making the 1st sign of fall.
The smell of rain and Carmel apples
Filled the air
Spooky time was near
The hours of day running fast
Like the wick of a candle
winding down at last
The flannel comes out in full bloom
Matching is our red blossomed checks
As we see our first fall full moon.
I write to you still
But you give no call
I'm worried girl
I started to fall
Left me in the dust
I left you in disgust
Not a month went by
Your with another guy
Hit me like a brick wall
My mind has gone awol
Can't believe you ghosted me
Seems you practiced treachery
I'm still writing to you
If you read them I have no clue...
Endure to become strong
Dear traveller the path is long
Taking beatings from friends and foe
All are required for you to grow
Don't be sad your darkness is gone
I'll carry it for you no matter how long
The nights when you visit me in my dreams
Are the nights I lay awake scream
I'm troubled, dumbfounded and lost
You left me empty with such great cost
Cold and selfish I learned it from you
My love, I endure this new breakthrough
Now go on, I won't say no more
My heart ain't in it but I'll hold the door
Watch you leave one last time
Oh hunny if loving you was a crime
I think about you every day
All the little cute things you say
Leave me in more than one way
With time, not even memories will stay
Now go on, I won't say no more
My heart ain't in it but I'll hold the door...
Why does it feel like drowning?
I have nothing but air around me
Yet it's so hard to breath
Even tho all this pain is only skin deep
No one there to awnser my calls
Walking dead around these halls
I feel every silent scream aching out
Everyone I know see's me walking about
Acting fine no need to get attention
However I could use a social session
To wake me of this oppression
And out of this long lasting depression
Like the lighthouse standing there alone
At the end of the pier
I too have
My hopeful light on
Still searching this endless abyss..
The rolling tide continues crashing in
Night after night
a bombardment of waves hit,
yet I Still stand.
Maybe I'm a beacon for that lost traveller
To finally come home and see my light
to guide everyone home
Is my purpose...
She woke in the morning
she left without warning
a faded line of coke
Pain settling in I could choke
Bed is my only escape
Yet I lay here wide awake
Empty like an abyss
Why can't I feel anything but this
I am ,
I know she's bent over getting ******.
More and more with age
My place where hope thrives
Is a blank book with a stained page
Leaving me helpless, I began to sigh
like a light left on, i start to dim
his feeling has made my outlook grim
Her voice is all I heard
our outlook for us is blurred
It's the road to travel and meet you is far
Yet this connection we have is bizzare
Your cute, funny and so smart
Knocked me off my feet from the start
You make me smile it's all warm and fuzzy
Can't wait till some day you call me lovey
It's fast, this pace we have, I know
But like swimmers we brace for undertow
One chance is all I need
I'll be your shining knight on his steed
Rushing to your beck and call
I'll be there for when we both fall...
The distance between us is farther than miles
Frustration brings us on the verge of exile
One touch, one look brings us close
Two many days apart and we begin to choke
First comes fighting then comes silence
A little communication would bring guidance
One date, one kiss is all it would take
love from you, would end my heartbreak...
This poem is for you
After the night I made you blue.
The sunset washed with beautiful pink
All it took was 1 yes to a drink
Falling for you was like a shooting star
For all it took was that last bar...
My hopes and chances rocketing down
Sitting on cloud nine before, now it's a frown
God you wore that beautiful red dress
Here I sat the next day a babbling mess
A goddess you are to me
But not one part of you will hear my plea..
Dear Red this poem is for you,
Now this poem makes number two
Remember when x marks the spot?
Talking about that red mop on top?
You give me chills when your near
Now the chills are engulfed in fear
I'll never have another chance
Last Saturday night might be our last dance...
Before I began writing about pain
The only letters I had, spelled your name
Even now it still feels the same
Writting about, my new flame.
Yet it all started with you
Had time been kind
I'd write something new.
Remorse filled the room
As my writing wrote of gloom
Saddnes and woe filled the page
Truth laid out and nothing's the same
Before I began to write about pain
It all started when I herd your name.
All the laughter aside,
you looked me in the eye.
Told me all your feelings subside,
That last night you cried
that everything was a lie.
And yet I find,
repeating in my head,
without you I'm better off dead,
alone and suffering laying in bed
writting you a love song filled with dread. Leaving me wasn't the worst thing you did,
it was leading me on before you ran and hid..
I've become obsessed
over every tear that's shed
Running my fingers through her hair
As her head lay on my chest
Counting the seconds till she can rest
She is my peace and i feel blessed
she runs to me for salvation
This patience takes years of motivation
To handle this woman's frustration
There are days I can't take it
I smile but inside I fake it
For better days will come
Over 100 times ive thought to run
Leaving her with past demons
All alone for her face them
I'm right her don't you cry
Save those tears for our last goodbye
when it creeps up.
No sound, not even a word.
It's peaceful, till it isn't
Then you ask around
Still just quiet...
Alone with your thoughts
It doesn't even knock..
It doesn't even break through the **** door
It's just there.
Viewing people through screens
either way it's the same.
All alone with this cumbersome voice
Driving you insane.
The feeling makes you fidget and Pace
Makes you fight and complain
Bed softly quiets your demons
Then your tired and feel drained
In your head running a place
With no escape.
alone again this feeling that I hate.
Don't dream of me when I'm gone,
I wanted nothing but to stay.
Yet here I am passing
You have nothing left to say.
Looking back through the glass
Of where my picture lay
My memories before they pass
Showed happiness portrayed.
Broken, useless, covered in dust
For all the gifts I payed
Your the one I trusted
This poem is what I have to say
You lied, you cheat, took me for a fool
You sought out lust.
Used me as a tool
Heartless beauty with skin so divine
I'm sorry loving you was my gulity crime...
Her soft lips
Long finger tips
Running down my skin
A parade of goosebumps March
As she begins to grin
Having complete control Over my body
Thinking of something to say
My words become sloppy
Over Thinking takes place
Nervous, she continued to make way
Destruction to my psyche legs begin to quake
She keeps me quiet no need to hesitate
Alarm goes off, I spring awake...
I could walk through fire just to give her a drink, and she would turn her nose up at it.
I could be Odysseus and travel across the most rigorous sea and I wouldn't be enough.
When the dust settles, the mountains have been moved, when the moon brought to her feet.. You are simply not what she is looking for...
Close the window on negativity you don't need to hear it
Shut the blinds to the outside world you don't need the distraction.
Lock the door from toxic people the closer they are, the more they hurt you.
Crawl into the isolated bed you have made
It's the only peace you have.
Dad is not doing okay
Mom hasn't awnserd the phone in a few days
Girlfriend throwing a fit not getting her way
Yet the outside world still turns
Putting ashes in fancy urns
And every day we still dont learn
To love eachother don't wait for the past
Live everyday like it's our last
Life's a play and your gone in a flash...
I fell in love with the idea of love.
That the girl will save the boy from himself
That the powerful play goes on
And I was lucky enough to play a verse
That love chose me to portray it's injustice
The jar is empty.
No love was given
The lights of the stage never turned on
The chairs were dusty and folded
Not a soul in sight.
No star role on the main stage
The story where no love was found.
I gave you my heart
You kept it from the start
Wishing you would stay
Love is blind
Now all i feel is hate
Gravity pulls my depression
Mentality going into recession
Everything we had went astray
Yet I weep
For loneliness seems to stay.
She looked at me and spoke with vicious words
"Back to the hole I found you in,
into that mask you hate
The life you couldnt bare
This will always be your fate
i want you to wear that mask
Till you love it!
Till you die in it.
You are unfit to look at me.
You are unfit to love me."
And just like that,
the mask fit...
Like I had never...
In the west
There's a chapel
Where a god sings
Through the stained glass
And the colors dance
In front of your eyes.
You can hear the lies
Through the warm pews
And all the faint cries..
Ive been trying new ways
to summon the devil.
To bring me what I want
because god has silenced my cries
And turned a deaf ear....
I took a trip to the unknown
Now the darkness has a hold on me
I'm starting to feel it in my bones
No longer is it a mystery
Hold me closer darkness
For now I see
Love is blinded
All it causes is misery
cloud my mind
Leave me with tearful eyes
We fought through the lies
Her and I
But forgotten I haven't tried
For on my end
Love hasn't died.
We chase this Paradise
We chase misprinted lies
I wait till the tears fall
And yet I fight
And yet I cry
When I hear that call
This house is not a home
I'm torn apart and all alone
Sometimes I repeat it in my head
Other times I wonder
if I should be dead.
It's me again
Drunk and alone
I need help rememberin
It's hard trying
To write again
The walls are closing in
She's gone and smilin
I'm left in denial
I have just found you
This hidden treasure
Just that red mop on top
That marks the spot
It travels at my fingertips
Rushes through my body
Like a rapid river
Traveling to the center
I have just found you
Now what are we
Money runs this world
I make money
Which means I too
Also run this ******* world.
She was it
Salvation at my finger tips
Had I not lost my grip
Maybe she would have stayed and sit
But Shes floated away
And that love went astray
In his arms she returned
Now my lesson was learned
The distractions of my life are comforting
Till the music stops
The fountain of youth dries up
And all the good woman are gone.
When the life I've built is all in one room
Surrounding my wooden palace
Sitting in silence with their folding chairs
With nothing to look back on but money
I stare at a room full of strangers.
Hoping this final chapter brings her through the door.
Dasiy meeting Gatsby one.. last.. time...
To be loved by you
Was greater than time
Reminiscing old photographs
And watching home movies
I am reminded of the love you gave
Hearing your voice
Seeing your smile
Makes time irrelevant
You gave me a home to hold on to
When I have nothing left
Standing under a lone street light
Not a sound Or motion in sight.
Darkness blankets the streets
Masking people I've yet to meet
Walking aimlessly, corner to corner
Mind is racing thinking of horror
Asking questions to myself
Wondering if I'll ever get help
Out of the hall they swarm to grab me
Tie me up and back they drag me
Once again I've escaped my room
Once again the orderlies Loom
That Through all the pain
They tell me I'm insane
That no man could possibly endure
Long time ago I broke a promise to a girl
The rain has reminded me ever since
Each drop is a memory shard
When we had our last dance
The old house with a deck of cards
Our kiss in the rain
The stacks of movies on the window pane
Years since I've seen that girl
Many years it's rained
Some say the old me has yet to change
I just have no will to fight.
Whatever is missing
It's gone for good.
It's left me in my bed
No tv or radio
No pictures or books
There is no light.
Why when it's missing is darkness related?
I find it impossible
To describe her
Her Radiant eyes
Her black frames
Drive me Insane
The way her hair
Falls along her face
Hides the fear
Without a trace.