ex-friend. boyfriend.
they both mean the end.
your love was fake.
we were built to break.
i flirt with people but
you act like you're not cut.
come on, boy, you know you're hurt.
upset that i got up and left you in the dirt.
watch me do what you thought i'd never.
obviously you're not the one named clever.
feelings can't fade if they never start.
not sorry if i broke your heart.

i'd love you, but i just don't.

anymore.

except my heart because that belongs to you
but all of you is my everything,
so i guess it's really no difference.

April 14th, 2018:
we're caught up in his heart.
his belongs to me, but mine to someone else.
yours is only for him, but his is only mine.
i played along for long enough.
it's time for this to end.
it's time for everyone to know the truth.

i want to roll my eyes so hard
that someone who likes to gamble
as much as you could
use them as game dice.
i hope you like snake eyes

human

you best save yourself

before i can
sink my claws into you too.
uh oh.
here i come.
i suppose i didn't notice until it was
far too late.
oops.

now you and i are nothing,
which is at least something,
because they say nothing lasts forever.

and all i ever wanted was forever with you.

feelings fade and seasons change but
the question is did you

i wish you messed with me
and not my mind
but at least you ***** something of mine

you slipped through my fingers like sand
but my hands weren't anywhere near you
i was on a totally different planet
you on the other side of the world
suddenly you weren't the only one not feeling so good

i guess i'll just have to steal your car,
if that's the only reason you're gonna chase me.
you won't pay attention to me any other way.

I want you to know that,
After you're found drowned in the bathtub,
It's not you. It's me.
After you're found face down in your kitchen, poisoned,
It's not you. It's me.
After you're found burned alive in your backyard,
It's not you. It's me.
After you're found mauled in your Porsche,
It's not you. It's me.
Sorry babe, but I think it's time that you take a break.
It's over.

collar bones under gold chains.
white sheets and blood stains.
in your head is my favorite place to be.
blissfully drowning in your dead sea.

you see my scars, but they see my lies
you see my stars, but they just see my skies

One day we’ll wake up and call each other.
Our voices will be monotone.
We won’t really have anything to talk about.
We’ll go through our photos.
Make ourselves see how good it was.
We’ll look at each other and see why we fit.
Determine the pros and cons of staying together.
It’s just not that good anymore.
It’ll all end that way.
Not because anything is dreadfully wrong.
We’ll just be bored.
Everything will go back to how it was before.
Except that we won’t be a couple.
Just two people who coexist.
I can talk to guys at bookstores and fall a little bit in love with a perfect stranger every day.
You can pick up girls at the baseball field that you always thought were better than me.
But we’ll always have us.
For now, let’s stay us and hold off until later.

i'm trying to change for the better,
but you were my better half

and yet again, we're six feet under.
in too deep for the second time.
after all, what's the point in coming
back from the grave if it's where
you sleep at night?

i was probably high when i met you
but now i'm out of my mind cause i love you

i may not be able to break your rules,
but they sure as hell won't break me.

i lie if it means keeping it away from you.
i lie, on my knees, at church, in the pew.
but honestly
the only honest thing
i'm saying is that honesty
is overrated
and i fake it
until i make it
but when my world's at stake
and i can't tell how much you can take
and its weight would push you
out of my life and too

far
away

everyone says that habits hold you back,
but i think i liked you better that way.
it was easier when you had something
to keep your ego from overtaking
everything.

She grew up on the walls
She grew up in the city
Against all odds she survived
The life that she was born into
She controls the alleyways
She is the orphan of understanding
King Jr. raised her
She is the essence of everything
That is street

She is the leader of a movement
That is ruthlessly and viciously her
She is undeniably cultured
That is the way that she thrives
She thrives off of opinions
She designed to push the pavement to the limits
Malcolm X praised her
She is the essence of everything
That is judged

She is the poster child of the ignorance
Of those who refuse to see
She is distinguished for her beliefs
She is set apart by her nature
That makes her so strong
She is the tie that binds it all
Differentiation never phased her
She is the essence of everything
That is individuality

She is forever infamous
She is running out of time
She is expunged from the city
She is excluded from the pavement
She is expelled from the walls
She is extracted from the alleyways
She is excommunicated from the people
She is exiled from their compassion
She is the unfairly judged individuality of the street

i like that you're a fighter
cause i get the feeling
you'll be beating something else up tonight

i wanna ask you to stay up with me
so you don't have to wake up and
find my brain matter painting the ceiling

if you say you hate what's in your head,
why do you always want to speak your mind?

i wish we didn't have to break up
every time you say your cell phone does.

but now all i can do is send up a prayer
that you won't leave me
when i leave him there

you can make me the bad guy,
but i'm the best girl you ever had.

i want to push the memories of last night away
too bad i've got to see your pretty face again today

The death of a sophomore.
Pull up by the side door.
You get what you ask for.
Guns in the bottom drawer.
****** floors in the drugstore.
A life for an even score.
A ****** at 5'4".
The drug lord of a drug war.

and now you're upset
because i'm sitting in the
passenger seat of an infiniti
with frank ocean playing,
another hand holding the
one that you used to.

still, i want to be holding yours again.

i promise i'll save you
from this life you're made to
take part with these people who
don't know just what they do
we're not made to win
but i'll save you
save you from you

everything is changing
and my heart is still breaking.

lately, it seems like all i want to do
is get high enough to fall for you.

here for one night only

i wonder how long it'll be until i'm finally okay
with everything never being able to be okay again

who would have known that
heaven with you
would hurt like hell

i'm on my knees like it's a sunday
but
you look like heaven and hurt like hell.
guess we're close enough.

so you kicked me under and i'm six feet deep.
now i've got dirt in my eyes and blood on my jeans.

when my head
is on your chest,
i like to think that
your heartbeat
is just "i love you"
in morse code

you can't build a kingdom with someone who still wants attention from the village

i only wonder if you had been raised a little different
would you love a little different now

the only reason that i miss the old you
is that the old you was with me

sometimes i cry.
i cry until i have no tears left and my voice has long left me.
i sob until it feels like my lungs collapse.

(similarly to the world that i built with you in my head)

The lucid nightmares of a dreamer’s sleep
Pray to the Lord, your soul to keep
The vibrant shapes of a colorblind sight
Your angels watch you through the night
The violent yells of a peaceful fight
We don’t live until morning light

my whole life i’ve been learning to write,
but no one ever taught me how to love you

i'm losing myself,
so i'm losing it all
trying to be somebody
in a city where nobody cares

on october the 26, your lips on mine tasted like malibu
that's about the only thing i know for sure about us