This pit in my stomach is tasty
It inflates me
Leaves me gasping
In tragedy

I'll sing a peaceful Melody
It won't calm me
I'll just pretend willfully

The voices ring to me
Screaming screaming
They never seem to stop you see
This pit grows steadily

Twisting and burning
All throughout me
I pretend optimistically
Until I bend

Lay me down
Let me sleep
You hear me weep
As each voices whispers
I quiver
Quiver
Quiver

I must adore this seed
That lets me bleed
For it's all I know
So I'll reap it and sow

Sometimes I think I'm making it up
Tbe abuse I've lived through
The demons I've seen

There's no way
Anyone's been through that
Or maybe im overreacting
And i should just have a laugh

Until I see you
Facing the same demons
Unable to break through
Who would have knew

Itd be us two
Seeing though the thickness
And cruelty of abuse
How do we unwind

From a life so unkind
I hate to say we've had it worse
Worse then most
But it's not a boast

We never had eggs and toast
Highschool friends
Or visiting the sea coast
We had no normalcy

Even though I finally broke free
My dreams they haunt me
They tear me down
And I see demons wearing crowns

I still have so much hate
I can't even contemplate
Still surving them a dinner plate
Like a slave

I'm growing
It's such a struggle
But I must confess
I'm no longer so hopeless

I wish the same for you
As your seeking forgiveness
But mostly freedom
From their destructive kingdom

Cherry bliss
Red summer lips
Reaching for a kiss

Lip gloss glaze
Lost in your haze
You start to graze

Mascara smeared eyes
Leaking from the skies
Raindrop tongue in disguise

Romantic red gown
Tracing through that frown
I hope to be seeing you around

Every touch of you
Is a new exciting hue
Lost in your Misty dew

*** and glitter
I have no filter
**** me through the winter

All year round
Lost and found
With you until I hit the ground

You're beautiful
You're smart
Charming
And funny

I love the way your hair twirls
I love the way your lips curl
I love your style
And the way you make me smile

But anyone could tell you this
But on a deeper note
I'd like to reminisce
Of all the lovely bliss

Looking at you was like the stars
Like driving in speeding cars
So exciting but always gone
Too fast

My feelings for you are vast
They seem to always last
Since I was a little lonely child
I met you and my life became
Wild

With emotions
I didn't know I even had
You are so amazing
You're not perfect
And I love every single flaw
That makes you who you are

I like seeing you happy
I love hearing your goals
You could marry someone else
And while heartbroken as I may be
I'd also still be so happy

Your soul brings me warmth
Maybe this is too much
But you're the first one
Who ever made me feel
Love

The first to excite me
Make me laugh and feel
Less lonely
Maybe you know
Maybe you don't

Doesn't matter
As long as I can know you
And be a friend
I'll be happy
Until the end

Soemtimes I cant help
Looking down
Always with this frown

Sometimes I start
Looking up
And I see the stars

Every hard time
Every horrible mistake
Everytime I break
I look up
I reach up
I see the stars

Theres no wars
There's no liars
Only bright beautiful fires
Filled with wonder

My life is filled
With one constant major event
Of breakdowns and sadness
Only to be broken
By the sky's madness

I'm reaching for her
All throughout my life
Been told it's wrong
Who knows where those stars belong
But I think that's the point

They keep be going
They keep me breathing
Without knowing
Who they are

It's the msytery
The excitement
Of such entities
Something so much bigger
Then me
And that's the magic
That keeps me breathing

Sweet little child
Your laying on a cloud
It rains endlessly

You can't come off it
Sinking through it
You pray

Their darkness thunders
Turns your heart to blunders
Am I the bad one?

You fall asleep
Falling as you weep
You're in a puddle

Cold and broken
Always misspoken
Is this better ?

Never been perfect
But you always work it
Until they throw dirt

And you lie in your puddle
Seeing your struggle
You feel disgraceful

Always so sorry
Wishing my puddle
To be an endless ocean

Skin too hot
I'm a moth in a flame
I want to take a one way train
Somewhere colder

Maybe when I'm older
I'll understand the wasps
And why they sting so hard
No one likes a bard

Yet here I am
Must be a nuisance
To the ears of my enemies
Though I still consider most them friends

Wait til the week ends
Til theirs a new trend
They'll bring a patch
For my stung grasp

Let me sit in the grass
Ripping it off the ground
That's the only good I've found
When you are all around

Keep me by the dirt
My enemies lay here close
As they should be
The grass must be why they're all so
Green

Thou shall not ****
Thou shall not lie
Thou shall not take thy name in vain
Tho shall not commit adultery
Thou shall obey me
Thou shall not get in my way
Thou shall not eat my food
Thou shall not go outside
Thou shall not think that way
Thou shall not misbehave
Thou shall not cry
Thou shall not ******* exist

These are your commandments
Follow them or you will suffer
Suffer in life and death
Suffer even with your last breath
Don't act like I'm not loving
Why are you running
I have given you everything

God I wish you would stop crying

I can not love
For noone will love me
I can not give
For no one will let me

My smile is fake
My heart only shakes
My head is an earthquake
Crumbling and cracking

They told me to get over it
It's in the past
I can grow through this
But the voices won't leave

How can I not feel lonely
When my blood hurt me
The blood I trusted and loved
The blood I followed and obeyed

They betrayed
And left me like a stray
I ran so far away
But I'm incomplete

I always have been
I found myself last year
But lost it in the fear
That speaking up was bad

You taught me that
You ignored my whole life
But taught me one clear message
Fear everything for it is evil

Only obedience is pure
Purity is true beauty
Talking back is mutiny
My life is worthless
You are my king

Take everything
Throw me away
Ask me why I didn't stay
Because I can't find my own way

I am a stray
No one wants to rescue me
Forever a lost kitten
Someone please put me to sleep

I was so high
I went up with the tide
Brave and flowing
Going further
Without knowing

That tides crash
They crash hard
they go so fast
It was beautiful

Now it's hitting
The surface
The dry sand
Is soaking in the tide
The fallen tide hits

It doesn't quit
It goes up so far
But sometimes
The tide doesn't come
The water stays still

You crave the high
Let it hit your soul
Let it take you it's fun
Flow into it with the sun
But be careful

Remember the crash
You may slip deep into her
Water bubbling through
You cannot breathe
It's overwhelming
   D
r
o
w
    n
i
n
g
    

    Drowning
H e l p
You'll sink
No one will ever hear
You are betrothed to fear
It's dark
Bones are frozen
Will I be lost forever?
Lost inside this high tide?

     Should I go with the flow?
      Or fight the beast that is
    The ocean

It's 5am I cannot sleep
I can't even weep
I lie here awake
Listening to my heart beat
It breaks
Everytime I
Breathe

Crooked hats
Green
And oozing

Glowing moon
Black
And sparkling

Soothing brew
Hot
And boiling

Flying brooms
Swift
And zooming

The bats our out
The kids are afraid
What is it about this day
That takes my breath away

I get down
I feel cold
The chill in the air
Leaves a story untold

It's coming
Glowing jack o lanterns
They're watching
Spooky ghosts

Are you ready
My heart's not steady
I feel thrilled yet calm
For Halloween in autumn

I keep digging
Without a shovel
My bare hands have gone
So deep

The more I dig
The more lost I feel
Why am I doing this
Just an empty hole

I'm starting to see
That everything I ever knew
Was abuse and cruelty
I hate my entire past

I thought I had moments
Of joy and love I held onto
But it hit me like a block from above
Gushing over my head with blood
I never knew what love was

The hole I dug
Was a grave for myself
Empty and depraved of life
Dark and burrowed with strife

If I strip away every piece of abuse
From my entire life
There's nothing left to recall
Now I'm taking another fall

I cannot tell if I'm healing
Or if I'm sinking
Even further into the hole
I only know weeping

Is this a wishing well I dug
Filled with hope
And dreams
If I believe enough

Or am I still digging
My grave from hell
Burying myself within
Letting all the demons in

It all feels pointless
Every single memory
Is so twisted
How could I ever miss it

The evil words
The hatred and mockery
Being used and torn
Why was it a shock to me

I still can't grasp it
My entire life was blackness
Only lived with sadness
But I keep digging

Am I winning?
The never ending battle
Or am I continuing
The cycle of abuse
Like foolish cattle

Imagine for a moment
That you're barefoot
Freshly awakened

And in a box
Of nothing
A blank slate

As you look back
You see darkness
Overbearing depth

Is that where you were kept?
Now look forward
Take your first step

You will see it's blank
This is your chance
Take your barefeet and dance

Splash new color
Maybe joy maybe blue
You can make so many hues

You can go slow as you like
Or fast on a bike
It's your time now

Sometimes the dark may follow
Push it back under a cage
Lock it tight

Use your might
You escaped the dark
Show your path some spark

Your colors may not match
Some of the slate
May stay blank

That's ok
Do it your way
Honey, you're here to stay

You'll never go back
So stop looking
No need to attack

Maybe you'll find
Red shoes very divine
Maybe you click them together

And find home in new weather
You'll find your "together"
And be able to rest in forever

I just want to tap dance
Twirling skirts
Fast feet

Tip tip tap!

Going fast
It's gonna last
Forever

Fun music
No worries
Bring others with stories

To dance off
It's art
It's beauty

It's not unruly
Outlaw me
I'm so quick and speedy

Let me move my feet
In the summer heat
Flowers blooming so neat!

Let me shake my bottom
In the flowing autumn
I feel like I'm a blossom

Tippitty tippity tap!

It's a smack
To the ground
With joyous sound

Musical notes fly
High in the sky
Giving hope a try

Swirl into the blue dew
It's harmonious
And delicious

My feet tapping
The beat rapping
Everyone's fingers snapping

Except I'm burning out
I'm draining like a cloud
Energy spewing down

My eyes burn
My ears hear no sound
Words leave my mouth

My head's gone south
To the floor
I can't take this no more

The tip tip tapping

It isn't stopping
It's going too fast
I'm burning out

Taptaptaptap
Taptaptaptap

How is this fun
We all need to run
I'm burning in the sun

The heat blisters my skin
This feels like sin
take off that stupid grin

Let me sleep
Please stop dancing
It's not enchanting

It's loud and piercing
Everything is gleaming
My blood is streaming

Please calm down folks
Stop the obnoxious talks
I'm not insane

I just must restrain
From too much tapping
Because my body starts overlapping

I feel too much
And it always ends
Stabbing me in the chest

Then I numb myself
To feel less pain
Trying to restrain

Yet this time
I took the risk
I showed my heart beat

Faster faster faster
Ticking ticking
Butterflies swirling

I told you
You were kind
But said you can't be mine

It hurts deep inside
But this time
I'm not going numb

My heart won't let me
It's beating endlessly
Except cruelly

It's been years since I felt
So deeply
Infacuated with another

I never showed my feelings
To someone I wanted
So very dearly

I guess you could say
I'm feeling a bit
Of heartache

It's not traumatizing
But it is agonizing
Slightly terrorizing

I think of you by mistake
It keeps me awake
It's colorful and cute

Then I remember
You said no thanks
Now it's all December

Cold inside me
My heart churns
As I yearn

Yearn to rip me open
And bandage up my swollen
Heart that's been shattered

Shattered a million times
By many different guys
But I think this takes the prize

I saw hope in your eyes
But it's my fault
It was so new and exciting

I was really trying
A bit too hard
Like a worn out ball of yarn

Stringing along
To a new cute song
Patter patter by the paws

Except I always get claws
Stuck inside me
I'm such a dummy

I fall too fast
And too rashly
But lastly

I love too much
Too quickly
For someone always alone
And unsightly

My loneliness is crippling me
Shattered legs sinking
Into the darkest quicksand

The metronome ticking
Steady and heavily
beat ¶¶¶¶ Beat

The door closed
Only shadows consume me
My thoughts scream me to sleep

The ground where I wept
Is my favorite sleeping spot
It's warm to cuddle with

I'm just a sad *****
Crippling and falling
I'm tired of crawling

Let me lay here
Impaled with a spear
Evil spirits always near

I'll smile for the show
None of this is real
Let my skin start to peal

Someone release me

I'm not fighting for happiness
For that I know I'll never obtain

I'm just fighting
For some type of peace
In this ****** up brain

I can't seem to grasp
If I'm running from joy
Or joys running from me

Is it my gloomed presence
Of fear and trauma
Making the joy run


Or is it my secret love
For despair and pain
Causing me to run
From anything resembling
The presence of joy

I'm so tired
Someone please
Just make the running
Stop

Burn me
Burn me
Burn
Me

You're yellow like a daisy
I'm blue like a raindrop
I'm falling
Falling
Fell
Into the warmth of summer

I was in love with winter
But it only led to
Dispair

My eyes reopened
To the sight of the deep hues
Of summer blooming
Bees flying
And pollinating
Life

I was dead
Blowing over
Into frozen ice
And melted
Dirt

A seed found me
Gave me new life
To grow
Grow
Growing
Into what
I do not know
But it's
Pleasant

The snow has her beauty
But it leaves you cold
And empty

You're a yellow sunflower
Green with strength
Pedals ever so soft
And cute
I smile with you
Waving all about

Perk me up
As you do so sweetly
In the light of the sun
Is this summer fun?
I always ran
Ran
Running
But my god
You're so
Stunning

I decided to stop
And smell the roses
Such delight you bring
To my nose
I have arose
From my sorrowful slumber
I see you
An adorable
Wonder!

Bloom with me if you please
For i fear if you blow away
I'll let autumn bring me down
And drown again
In my frozen
Lake

Like a moth to the flame
I'm dragged in
I'm attracted to you
But afraid I'll burn

I never did like
All these gooey emotions
I'm so embarrassed
At the very notion

calm down
Stop fantasizing
Feelings are disastrous
It'll end agonizing

I wake up to the flames
Theyre burning so pretty
Suddenly i can fly
And i feel so giddy

Let me touch the surface
It won't burn me
And i can feel the warmth
Carressing around me

The closer i fly
The brighter you become
I love the warmth too much
What could ever go wrong

Like a moth to a flame
How stupid they are
Clearly it's deadly
Yet still they all fall

❤

Numb deep within
Can't feel my feet
Up to my heart
Do i exist?

Anytime i feel
It hurts
Everyrhing races
i am afriad

I can't remeber
Ever belonging
Not in a social sense
Or being real

I get too tired
I feel as a child
Seeing monsters
Giant man eating
Lobsters
Demons running amok
Every breath of mine is bad
Luck

I swear to god
I belong in a mental institute
Im not real
Are you?

I'm alone
Ive been alone forever
And ever more
I'll be alone

My life is flashing
It's all been so quick
And I've hated every second
Of my breathing

I miss my mother
I miss my brothers
My whole family
I think played a big whammy
They must be fake too
My scared eyes sometimes see
Through

Theres a veil you see
Doctors say it's anxiety
Thats a lie to keep me busy
We aren't real

I'm so scared
I can't describe this fear
It never leaves me
I'm shivering and afraid
The monsters coming to consume me

Look hard enough
You'll see real mosnters
Slenderman and demons
Theyre all real
Mocking us

Im still a little girl
Sad and afriad of the world
All i see is fear and creatures
Lurking with no ****** features
No one will hold me
My soul is ******* empty

Is god real
Why won't he answer me
He probabaly is around
And ignoring me
That is the theme of my
Reality

Can someone just hold me
Let me forget my dark reality
Im so ******* afraid
I must be extremely brave
I see demons larger then i can comprehend
Yet i go out and still stand

If someone held me
And didn't leave
Maybe for ahwile
I would feel real
And not as a scared
Child

Im talking
Always talking
Nobody is ever listening

I start screaming
They scream back
Be quiet

They won't hear
The pain and fear
I need help

They tell me they're busy
Stop being needy
Stop being greedy

I hide my emotions
I lock down
Then they ask why the frown

I'm writing
I keep writing
Nobody's reading

I'm bleeding
I keep bleeding
Nobody's seeing

I'm dying
I keep dying
Nobody's coming