I wish I could feel
Something besides
The tearing pain
I'm just a gross stain

I watch them laugh
I watch them love
I watch them believe
I watch them weep

I can't feel anything
I think I'm a fake
My heart is gone
I do not belong

My anxiety has been so high
Everything makes my skin crawl
I want it all to be perfect
I scrub and scrub
It never feels enough

I'll never be enough
Noone talks to me anymore
Everyone has left
I'm not needed I guess
I'm meaningless

I let myself go
I can't handle crying anymore
Lost in tears on the bathroom floor
It's the only place I feel safe
Everywhere else is an empty cave

Nothing brings me joy
Nothing makes me smile
I know I'm truly alone
My head keeps splitting
Why am I not quitting

I lost where this poem was going
It's like my life
It's empty and not really flowing
It bothers me deeply
That I'm ending this
Without any meaning