I'm never violent
unless it's self-inflicted

**** me for feeling
something
worthy of a heartbeat
right?

Pulsating my wrists
to my fists
and unleash vibrations
in a caustic manner

I will destroy the dreams
of Darling Wreckless,
wracking my brain
like Mara's
malicious temptations

A self-destructive
sequence
in a God-mode
fashion

So how about I do tumblr

And you do my assignment

And then we meet later

And drink wine

To counter the caffeine

That buzzes now

And how about M--- come too,

And A--- mayhap,

And we have a merry old’

Delving into the reckless

(Delving into the wreckless)

So how about it then?

I don't know what you could call this exactly,
I was at a musical concert in one of the states
And a school filled with children of less than 13 years of age
Presented a song which I could call a petition.
They were praying earnestly for God to save Nigeria
From lawless people, bloodshed, assassination and a list of other wreckless things
It touched me that finally, it has gotten to this! When children start to file a petition to God against our leaders saying for their sake God should save the nation
It's a bit disturbing that even the kids know that there is a problem with this nation.
Do we have to ridicule ourselves forever? The children who were in the ***** and groins some years back have come to understand the situation and are crying out.
The educational standard is falling to pieces and the threads would have to be carefully woven together if we wanna make something out of it again.
It's embarrassing to know that there are so many sectors that has failed, absolutely nothing is working.  
Our leaders still apportion blame. Roads are not good and then you get to hear one is a federal road one is state owned. Does it matter who owns the road if it is in their country?
Why aren't everyone looking beyond their noses and see what's wrong. Our youths have resolved to fraud when hard work and talents aren't appreciated.
Universities have been shut down for months now in the name of strike and the government officials could afford to eat and carry on their daily activities!
Aren't they meant to be in the hospital, complaining of one illness or the other as a result of the unrest the matter has caused? Disheartening! Even the hospitals go on strike and innocent people are left to die as a result of no medical attention.
I was moved to tears when these children sang. The nation's unrest and matters have become prayer points in all places of worship. God should indeed look down from His throne, have mercy on us and save Nigeria!

"You found your way
into my heart.
And it seems
your only way out,
was by tearing it apart."

It is senseless, it is wreckless,
It is ****** up nonetheless that
There is still nothing to be said for your death
They’ve arrested two guys for selling drugs
But what’s that got to do with what’s above
We need to remember you for your life, not your death, Marianne
But that’s all I seem to know you for. And that’s just not fair.
It is hopeless, it is sadness
That has come around to haunt us
In these moments, in these days, after you fell
From a window, so senseless
Did you even know you were falling?
Did you know that you were dying?
Did you know that anyone else was awake, across the way,
With her window open, at 4 am, early that Saturday,
And she heard you scream,
She heard you fly,
she heard that sonic boom rush that comes when life leaves us,
and rushes you off to another place
where you just watch over us
and I wonder if you saw
how nothing happened for a moment.
Fifteen moments, fifteen minutes, that there was silence
And I stood there looking out my window
Wondering where was the sense in this world to guide us down that street,
Where were the people rushing down to the courtyard, running on the concrete,
Searching for your face, for your familiar body, for you to be okay.
There was nothing.
For fifteen moments, fifteen minutes, there was silence.
And then they started coming.
And I stood there and watched as sirens and lights and cars, they all flashed,
They all came in a flash and ran around in a flash and blinded me with a flash
That didn’t leave me that whole weekend.
I don’t like sirens anymore. They mean someone’s been hurt.
Like you were, Marianne.
I heard a glass shatter and a cryptic scream, and I ran to my window to see
It sounded like someone had been hit by a car, slam, crash, break
With reality, break with life, break away from the lights from the sirens that only come when it’s too late,
but there were no cars on the street, not that I could see. I couldn’t see any accidents, at least not in front of me.
Should I have called? Should I have said something?
Here I am proving the bystander theory that I learned all about
In that lecture last Tuesday.
You’re more likely to be helped if only one person sees you fall,
Instead of seventeen or fifty or a courtyard full of freshman
Still up watching tv getting high eating shrooms playing videogames
Whatever you wanna call it, whatever you wanna say you were doing
Was it that important?
And who am I to talk? I didn’t call anyone. I didn’t do anything.
But I’m writing you a poem, Marianne. If you can even call this a poem.
That’s what I’m doing. I’m trying to remember you.
I’m trying to know more about you.
Because I hate knowing you only for that second that you fell,
For that second you might’ve ****** yourself over and fallen out the window in Brewster Hall,
Because I know you were a great girl, you were smart and you were cool,
And I wish I could’ve known you for your life, instead of this death, so cruel
And where is the memorial? Where is the flag? Where is the announcement saying
We are here to remember
No **** no we aren’t. We are here to forget. That is what we do best,
As humans, we forget. We push it to the side, go on with our lives, because that’s
That’s how we cope. We don’t. We pretend it didn’t happen, that she didn’t fall by that bench.
A girl died ladies and gentlemen. And we know her for her death. And that is a fault we need to fix, a life we need to resurrect
Through memories and poetry and spoken word at events like this
I hope you hear this, Marianne, and know that girl who heard you fall
Hasn’t forgotten you and never will.
I’ll be okay, but I’m not who matters. It’s the girl from Taiwan
Who loved to play soccer and greet people with a smile,
It’s the girl who loved her boyfriend, and was in love with this school,
So in love with the place she never even had to visit
To know she wanted to come here,
And this is what she gets.
Death. She came here for that American dream, and she got it
For almost a year. Not even. It’s terrible.
So here’s to you, Marianne. Rest in peace. Sorry about the way we met.

Hurting myself
just to see if it helps
because there is nothing else
The gears have stopped turning
the passion stopped burning
its beyond my discerning
Every decision
fuels the addiction
of my own self affliction
I've loosened my grip
on everything I wished
in this ignorant bliss

The cop asked me for my license to which
I replied what the hell is that.
Officer Tillman  I belive i met your wife in a restroom
down at the laundrymat.
She didnt do ya justice.
Cause you arent  all that ugly
but you are kinda fat.

No my last name isnt Knoxville  but I
sure had some fun in Tennessee.
Met darlin that left a burnin feelin behind just for me.

My life is like a tweenty four hour cartoon.
A wreckless wonder.
If ya wanna ride along theres always room.

Gotta babydoll I often reffer to as Tinker.
She's my favorite semi insane funsize drinker.

Got a amigo or two.
Some fake ID's  cause some people just happen to be looking
for me.
I thought you already knew.

Some people like to hate.
Clive.  Forrest.  Ian.
Dont be jelouse your still living togather in the same basement
no hope ever having none inflatable
date.

Iv'e taken some pretty hard licks.
Put my mind in a blender .
Now all im left with is becon bits.
Im the  ******* of poetry alone I hold the crown.
Some might call me a village idoit.
But I would say im most fun fella in town.

And if ya read this work and still cant see.
You can go to hell.
And thats one thing apon me my imaginary friends
and my little badass tinker agree.

The way you loved him
Fast
Wreckless
Crazy
Was unhealthy

The way I loved him
Carefully
Splendidly
Fearlessly
Was heaven

So why
is he sticking around
to be with you
for longer
for more
forever

Why am I here
yet again
on the
side
lines

Watching a game
I could be winning
but instead
I have to cheer for
the opposing team

I dyed my hair ash brown
Ironed it
harsh and fierce
I cut thick forest bangs
that hide my angry brows
and flirt with my long
black lashes
I dipped my brush
in bursting green
and painted my lids
to disguise the navy
emptiness
within me
I stained my lips roaring red
matching the words
that I hide, tongue to cheek
Nasty verbs and abashed adjectives
want badly to sneak out
and terrorize your every insecurity
I bleached every tiny tooth
bright wicked white
to flash towards terrible
wreckless superficial you
I lost five pounds
to fit into my saphire body-icon
attire
and don't worry, darling
my ******* are still naturally
huge and angry
from being objectified by you, *******
and I know that every
******* person
will think I'm a
goddess
model
queen
moviestar
and ****, I'll look like one and flourish

you will merely turn your head away
while I head to the bathroom
like a lush loser
cursing your ways viciously at the door
of your ******* gay boy bar stall

passing by the roadblocks
of those utterly devoid of inspiration
I grind my gears in frantic agony
through artless days and pastel nites
the last drops of forbidden nectar looms
far back on the parody of my tongue
and I asleep in the drivers seat...listening
to the horrid sound
my gear teeth clinched hard
to placate the need by the promise
of gold plated plastic ornamentation
fulfilling  the impossible climb

the austere instigator of forgotten melodies
slides closed the gateway ahead
in clear violation of the unwritten laws
that govern all worthwhile endeavor
now those gates wreak of cynical deviance
nirvana open to all who seek to reach the peak
so far beyond impossibility ...wide open
by bane of fence.. no recompense for that gate

with my tongue overhung from morose overdose
in failed attempts of finding the trace
of even the most scant memory
now lies frozen in the throes
of twisted convolutions

while my nostrils fill with acrid smoke
as gear teeth commence to melt
suspended halfway up the impossible climb
I am pushing hard the acceleration
aided by the rigor mortis of my seizure

asleep at the wheel with all wheels grinding

while those below the uninspired guardians
stare up in unimpressed confusion
where fire and smoke screams of agony
as the dream possessed begins to melt
reaching critical mass of inevitability
caught between the high mark of false sanction
and a bottom of craggy rock distortion
like a monsters teeth and open maw
awaiting with patient disregard
at the wheel the visionary sleeps
amid symbolic ritualistic boundaries
od'D on the wreckless need
for heights not guaranteed

but out on the windswept plains
of wordless twists and rigid tongue
the flaming mass shudders to that
unrelenting silent rage of aberration
then begins the tumble to the patient maw

the message flashes through
the sudden adrenaline flooded brain cells
like the flashing signs of hiway construction

last message passing by
in bright flashing neon
tomorrow will bring inspired risktakers
who now know the starting pattern
because I can say I made it beyond
all odds where none before have gone
by passing the dreaded roadblocks
at the far end of human imagination.

I od"D on the wreckless need
for heights not guaranteed .

Right now, I feel lifeless,
I feel empty,
I feel beyond,
I feel like everything and nothing are both happening at all times of the day, every day, all the time,
I am just trying my best to keep my head above the water,
"Just go with it", "It's okay", "It's nothing"
I cannot go with it, it is not okay, and you're right,
It's nothing,
I keep telling myself it's nothing until "It's nothing" is the only thought that runs through my head,
I can't leave my bed,
I haven't showered since Mother's Day,
Mother, I'm sorry,
I haven't eaten a full meal in God knows how long,
God, if you're out there, I do not curse you, but what have I done to deserve this,
What have any of us done to deserve this,
The feeling of rather wanting to be dead than alive in and of itself is a tragedy,
I haven't felt human in a long time and tragically, I wouldn't care much if I just stopped breathing

Keep me close, keep me close, keep my head above water,
I need to hear your voice,
I can't do this on my own

Just keep breathing,
Just keep breathing,
Just keep breathing

It's your turn, let me light another cigarette before you give me a third flush, I'll need another shot of whiskey if I'm gonna let you keep cheating me,
He said, "Alright boy, enough is enough. When are you gonna let me take you?" I told him "Soon."

I've done drugs in the past, burn so good, gone too fast,
Happiness never lasts,
Just a splash,
Up and down and up and down I'm getting whiplash,
Dug deep into the ground,
Pulled up flowers with a frown,
Beauty is a disaster, this world is on fire, I'll always let myself down,
Drunken stupor through the city,
Bleeding wreckless, broken teeth, my lungs are brown,
I will let myself drown

I AM CASANOVA TO THESE ANGELS,
I AM WRECKLESS IN MY INTENTIONS,
THE GOOD DIE YOUNG AND THE BAD WILL LIVE FOREVER,
TO THE END OF MY ROPE, I WILL SUFFER

To the ends of the earth, I will take her,
And I will ruin everything good in her, yet I do not want to,
I have not chosen to be like this,
The shadows wreak of liquor and depression,
And they will follow me home every single night,
And they will fall into bed with me,
And they will tell me everything I need to hear

Whisper sweet nothings into my ears,
TELL ME WHAT YOUR WORST FEARS ARE, I BET THEY LOOK A LOT LIKE MINE,
TELL ME WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO NOT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP SOME NIGHTS

I am lucid,
Lasting,
Plastic and carefree,
Nothing but smoke and mirrors to the ones who are after me,
I gave my hand to the him,
He said "Walk with me. I'll show you everything."

Free falling through clouds, lost sight on what is around.
No parachute in hand, yet no worries of the outcome.
I will, once I land.
Not quite yet.. Crying.
Unaware if they're tears of joy or tears of sadness.
What I am doing is complete madness.
Or could it be the pressure, & force of the wind?
My tears are now falling with me.
They are the salt water that made the ocean beneath me.
I fanilly crash, so deep into the cold sea.
The oceans temperature has taken over me.
No movement, no heart beat, no longer holding my breath.
No sound heard from me, because I have already drowned, before touching "ground".

Trying to do good while bad is going on
I mind my own do good going strong
Stay flying straight rather be doing good and receiving the hate
Ill do my own thing instead of be roped in my drama
Next thing you know my names tossed around and getting the blame
I could get political prefer to be analytical
Mind my mouth not saying too much
Hated for the truth hate my self for telling a lie
Doesn't matter because the truth comes out
She could turn me down don't expect me to come around
You love me but all up on him
I'm confused but don't abuse my giving heart
Once it's broken time to start a new
Find true love and someone who is true
I'm glad to be hear I'm glad to be going there
Thankful for time to heal and doing good made me a heel

I fell in love with a boy by the bayside whose mouth tasted like sour apples in a way i never thought so beautiful. And I'm sorry it was never you, you always tasted bitter and burned. But there's something you need to understand,that my existence has wracking side effects and scars on my skin are only a classroom of pain. Your tears always found a way in, and leaked onto my heart, playing a sad song about wishing wells and shooting stars and formed words on my tongue like four leaf clovers. And you still haven't apologized for emptying my lake of happiness and replacing it with rocks of sadness and filling my pockets with pebbles. A man once told me that anyone good for me would never hurt me. And i suddenly forgot that, when your eyes turned to icy corridors and your hands, tightened leather. I only wanted to melt away the emptiness in your irises and break away from the distraught grip. But didn't anyone ever tell you can't just set thing on fire because you like to watch ash float in the wind? You were always so wreckless. With my bleeding heart in your hands all you could mutter was, "I made a mess." All you could do was walk away with clenched fists leaving me on the ground trying to pick up shards of glass, ribbons of tears, and pieces of the moon; essentially you left me to salvage the pieces of myself. The truth is, you left me there in the dark. And i haven't emerged.

I was kinetic
Tired, frenetic
Wasting alone in my room

Three years gone
You hooked my attention
I braced for affection
Flooded the halls

I was so blind to the care in your voice
All I could see was your hair and your throat
Gripping to sever my lack
I bit as deep as I could

I wanted your blood
Because it glowed with warmth
I just didn’t care anymore

Hope is an addict
Roaming the attics
Of memories long gone

Love is relentless
Lust is wreckless
I’m selfish to the core

I don't ride a bike,
I don't drive,
It's better for me and everyone else around me,
At least that's what people tell me,
I believe them,
"You can't adapt quickly enough to situations,"
I wear glasses because I crash into stuff without them,
I break everything that I own by accident,
I really don't mean to,
I don't drive,
I won't ever drive.

Corroding off in wreckless control
Repeated lines stretching infinitely in ambiguity
Sharp muscle relaxant mistakes
As we career off the road
Into a ravenous singularity
We are unforgiving, cynical yet synthetically joyous
Quick to pardon
Whipped with a gold leash
Delicate, leaves, Celtic music
Rubik's cubes in our throats
We're ready to let love in, willing
Nova tech, drunk masks and indication
Indignation, we clutch, we fail
Partial to conditions
Stones out of focus

Accelerate
Engines bleed borders
You are the free way
Impotent with quartz remnants
Ruins to our fantasy
You hide history
Covered in my burrow
Braking until necks break & bags burst
Powdered hair, liquid lips
Let's drive home
Go beyond the limit
Break each others bones
And crush our entities
Suffocate on suffixes
Her explanation acquits the doubt
As we appear closer than we may actually be
Industrial stacks stretch towards invisibility
Letting go of their concentrate
Gelatin mind
levitate into connection

Cups turned upside down
Entrapping ego in near vacuum
Aqua ducts bouncing off feline eyes
2 & a 4
Perfect air in a foreign atmosphere
Spinned on axis, ways to conduct
Your supply
Secede madness
Eternal order
Lungs sharply inhale with uncertainty
Hydroplaning your attempts at adultery
Decision was never your thing
Unmoving at every turn
Passion with objects
Reactions flicker between humility

It gives gifts
Your skin melts to the touch
Chocolate in magma
Molten sound deafens drench
Jealous mess, dividend
Hugging and dripping black with stability
Back, holy scripture written with integration
Sealed with treachery, acetate photography
Capturing clear innocence
Boredom and sinfulness
Spiked militant
Pencil drawn neuroses, veil
Bow down to schematics, we're radar
Sonar structure solar
It's all part of the process

you give me these rules to follow what do you Want me to write,
it says write about what I fell of pain,
darkness,
Sadness using words that I've Never Uttered or said..
When you say write what you feel thats what I've been doing wrather you give me an
F or an A for these assignments,
These are the ways that I feel.



You want me to write something Sad:
catch me on a Sad Day,

You want me to write something Dark:
Catch me on a Dark Day,

Want me to Write something Hateful:
Catch me on a Hateful Day,

want me to write something Sweet:
Catch me on a Sweet Day,

To write something Freaky:
Catch me on a Freaky day,

To write something Deathly Insane:

Well this one I just learned you gotta Catch me with a Question or a Simple Title
Havin me think of dark and Death Days
that Drag out into intense bleeding
and fulfilling
Abandonment issues toward myself;
A deep dark wreckless,
Careless secret toward myself,
thinking and contemplating What if I was to bring the Darkness to a full salute would I be me,
Would I be a Murderer,
Would I be an Assasin for Hire,
what would my life be like if I were to do that but alas I dont wanna find out that is why I stay me cause
I believe if I bring that darkness to a
full salute my Life as I know it will turn
Chaotic with no amount of Greatness
but for death and decay,

The Hatred to my Love,



The Death to my Life,



the Wrong to my Right,



The Loneliness to the Togetherness,



The Yang to my Yin,



The Sadness to my Happiness.



So I guess in writing Do I get it now?

Do I let this other side out for a full day not gaining any amount of light to that day...



My Beast to my Gentalmen,



My  Ingnorance to my Intellagence,



My Negative to my Possitive,



My Villian to my Hero,



My Rags to my Riches,



My Shade to my Shine,



My Impure to my Pure,



My Jekyl to my Hyde,



My Insane to my Sane,



My Padded Dark Room to my Clean Sunshine in place of Life,



So did I do it?
Have I uttered what has been dorment inside me for the Longest?



Maybe my Fist to my Mouth,



Maybe my False to my True,



My Body too my Brains,



My Unresraints to my Discipline,



Silence to my Spoken,



****** to my Protect,



What do I do,
Just for one day.



My Slave to my Free Man,



What do I do?



My Loose tongue to Knowing when to shut-up



Wha do you want me to say?



My Riot to my Gaurd,



How should I act?



My Without to my With You,



Would you stay?



My Demise to my Negotiation to Live,



How should I feel?



My Killer to my Protector



What should I do?



My Worst to my Great,



How should I stand?



All these Questions within myself for myself....
If Only for a Day I should go crazy,
Would you stay?



If only for a Day iI Lose Control would you still Love me ?



Chris I need to Know what do you want me to do,
to say,
to be,
to act,
to believe?



Im talking to you,
What would you have me do?



               Chris What shall we do its up to you now,
its always been.

As to my Beautifull Empress,
Our Babies,
and Our Unborns
Supports Me and keeps me Sane and Intensly
In Love with Her in all the Glory that is Life...
I LOVE YOU

Wreckless love will do no good
With a one sided die, painted faceless white
Not a chance comes from all the throws you could do
Just familiar movement, to a dead end sight

"Restless” is my middle name.

“Less rest” is my religion.

“Wrestle less” is what I need to do with my emotions.

“West, West” is my destination.

“South, South” couldn’t hurt.

“Rentless” is how I want to live.

“Less rent” doesn’t always cost you less $. There are other ways of paying.

“Wreckless” but not anymore.

“Red Lens” in your rose colored glasses.

That you lost.

Here they are, five-ten, one sixty-five.

Don’t lose ‘em this time.

mmm i should’ve
kissedyou at night
and mmm i shouldve
kissedyou in
th emorning

and i woke up
thinking about
it that’s all, you
and me under
my duvet, your
arm touching
my belly. i
remember in
the morning i
almost wanted you
to have morning
wood but there
was nothing and

i wanted to kiss you

we could be drunk and
wreckless with one
anothers hearts and
letsbe sober and hold
hands and giggle like
we dont know who
we should tell:
lets tell our best friend
lets tell nooone

teach me how to be happy
being silent, that magic

what do i want i don’t know
i don’t know you
i just want to kiss you

i think this poem
doesn’t matter
after the first
stanza because that’s
all i wanted to say;

i wrote a lot more
but it all means
mmmmmm

i should’ve

kissedyou

at night

and

mmmmmm

i shouldve

kissedyou

in th emorning

In summer night's air kissed her hair still as death.
Like wolfs to a pack and moths to a flame we were drawn to the
madness just the same.

A thrill shared wreckless sings within the foolish
and prays apon the weak.
And so she saw a vision so very unclear.
Yerned to taste the demon yet never kiss the flame.

Faded tail light the ride always cast lighting from passions heat.
calm within the chaos her screams bleed through even still.
Night as backdrop velvet crushed my reason.

I closed the coffin  and bid farewell.
So begins my killing season.

Life and cigarettes burn to fast.
We waste are time.
So within the moment you bask.

A pretty face has to age.
Every story meets  it's final page.
When life breaks you over its cost.
Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost.

The lights in the street hide all but the truth my
dear.
You can act.
But you can never mask your  fear.

In dark rooms you sell all but your soul.
A wicked moment a stolen encounter.
All things take there toll.

That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm
to be cold.
A secret that the bitter have already told.

Can you wash away there stench as from
the past you are tossed.
In dark corners blood stained angles
sing a lullaby  to the lost.

Is this hell or a nightmare  that knows no end.
A cell to most.
To others the only refuge inwhich they
can depend.

she falls to the floor a lost look needle  
in arm.
Most will rememeber a doomed fool.
Others her wreckless charm.

She was  a ******  and a easy lay.
More bones are broken.
Over words others say.

She sold flesh but payed the ultimate
cost.
In a dingy corner of th world.
Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.

As from the window a gentle breeze did ask the struggle.
Why must we linger to pain apon winds we shall cast.
Dust of sunset tears of goodbye.
Cast the shadows none left as I.

A rewind of childhood a still frame of my time.
Often I smell the rain one more is a tease please take all yet leave me this.
Direction without map turns by insticnt and vision we embrace.


Moments left apon a clock almost struck.
Sunsets we'll chase togather again.

No answers to all but so many to question.
Often I see now turns have passed.
As to sea and of shore.
I bask here nevermore.

A roads end and farwell view.
I think it was far to short.
Now it's been handed to you.

Traces were there yet still we danced in wreckless thought.
Vain as children now ghosts to page.

Give me one for I bleed many with thought.
Past images of watercolor now erase my
colors reprise.

Sometimes  you realize theres never such thing
as enough.

How could you look through all my facets, and still have it in your heart to hurt me?
I've ****** up and thrown my family through the wringer.
I've been told I'm incapable of caring for others.
I've done a lot of things to warrant this torture,
But to you?
I've done nothing but love you with every vibrating molecule of my being.
Is that my downfall?
Not that I can't feel, but that I care too much for everything the moment they enter my life.
Lovin's wreckless, baby. And I love you so much.