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Iz Sep 16
I have no words to speak
You took them from me
like a rose I am red and rouge
cut me open
I belong to you
Iz Sep 8
I keep running like this quicksand won’t engulf me like these waves won’t break me like this ground won’t take me
I’ve spent my life in the fast lane just to come to a screeching halt
All that I’ve ever known has bubbled down to dope
The memories play like a movie on repeat
I can’t escape the things that have been done to me
Iz Aug 25
Without these words
I am nothing but dust and bone
Iz Aug 21
These four walls are all I’ve grown to know
This bed under me and every broken spring
Has formed to my body like a second skin
The fan makes the same noise and nothing
Is out of place
Everyday I sit and lay I wash the dishes I clean the floor
I do what’s asked I do what’s yours
These bones have grown to the size of this home
I want to get out but there is nowhere to go
I’m tired of living like a prisoner in my own home
This anxiety this panic it’s left me alone
Alone in ways I never imagined one could be
A loneliness so deep it engulfs me
Iz Aug 15
‪When you hear “think before you speak”
what you should be hearing is
“ be aware of the emotions you’re about to convey and if they’re actually how you feel” recognize what you feel
before you push those emotions onto those around you ‬
Iz Aug 14
I sit and watch
As an elderly man eats a 79 cent ice cream
From the local gas station that resides at the end of my neighborhood
It’s 10:02 P.M. and my head hurts
It’s hurt for two weeks
everyday the same pain greets me
with the piercing sensation of someone pressing their thumbs so deeply into my eyes then wiggling them around in the ajar sockets like a bowling ball too big to grasp
I’m tired of breathing this insatiable need for oxygen burdens me to no end
I can’t feel my toes I’ve stood too long
Blood pools in my feet as my chest half heartedly pumps blood wearily through this haunted frame
I can’t close my eyes all I see is what I’ve lived
This worn down shabby life worth two paper clips and some pocket lint at best
Iz Aug 11
I have a case of OCD
Where I can’t touch ***** dishes
It repulses me to the point of vomiting
I used to wash dishes like a ******* machine as a child
I was the only one at my fathers who would
No one would touch them until I would return
That resentment transformed into this anxiety so big it’s like a monster is going to pop out of the sink and ******* eat me
I can’t touch the walls of showers, mold used to grow to heavily in the grout I thought if I scratched through it I just might stubble upon a forest amongst the fungus
You see,
Fear lives inside us like a parasite growing and changing it takes form in familiar scenarios it traps you in corners you declare your comfort zone only to be the most uncomfortable place you could put yourself
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