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"symptom" poems
It happened in the dead of night while I was slicing bread for a guilty snack. My attention was caught by the scuttering of a raccoon outside my window. That was, I believe, the first time I noticed my strange tendencies as an unusual human. I gave the raccoon a piece of bread, my subconscious well aware of the consequences. Well aware that a raccoon that is fed will always come back for more. The enticing beauty of my cutting knife was the symptom. The bread, my hungry curiosity. The raccoon, an urge. The moon increments its phase and reflects that much more light off of my cutting knife. The very same light that glistens in the eyes of my raccoon friend. I slice the bread, fresh and soft. The raccoon becomes excited. or perhaps I'm merely projecting my emotions onto the newly-satisfied animal. The raccoon has taken to following me. You could say that we've gotten quite used to each other. The raccoon becomes hungry more and more frequently, so my bread is always handy. Every time I brandish my cutting knife the raccoon shows me its excitement. A rush of blood. Classic Pavlovian conditioning. I slice the bread. And I feed myself again.
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Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 5:44 PM UTC
The raccoon ( A poem by Yuri from DDLC)
Reinaldo was the name they gave the great white elephant Who came to clear the jungles around Sao Paulo A clever notion that because Reinaldo was born in the jungle Any jungle would do just fine, Brazilian or Siamese made no difference Just as clever was the notion that because I was a black man, educated I would do just fine directing other black men to do work, English or Portuguese made no difference Was I truly so much a fool, twice over? Reinaldo occasionally was afflicted with slothfulness Some of the men thought it was from lack of **** and whip I was of a mind that it was due to lack of companionship It was costly enough to ship one giant beast across a great sea I left a wife, in Maryland, whom I never loved and who never loved me I admit before the plan was in motion I never considered that Reinaldo could have a family Sometimes, I wonder, did he have a wife who never loved him? Loneliness became a common theme in our new home away from home And Reinaldo and I became friends, at least I thought of him fondly As far as I could say, of all the men he responded best to me At times it seemed a load of lumber was hauled as a personal favor For the handler too soft to handle with fear and anger But as much as loneliness was a theme, so was change, and death The lifespan of an elephant compares to the lifespan of men Were this scheme of mine to have worked as desired I could have sent for a cow, and made Reinaldo a sire Soon it was revealed that slothfulness was a symptom of an elephant young, healthy and wise Who sensed not his own, but a friend's imminent demise Now I am left to wonder how Reinaldo will fare in a world stranger than I could have known His softest handler and only friend bedridden, waiting for my disease to take its final toll
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Jul 29, 2018
Jul 29, 2018 at 6:28 PM UTC
Reinaldo
Reinaldo was the name they gave the great white elephant Who came to clear the jungles around Sao Paulo A clever notion that because Reinaldo was born in the jungle Any jungle would do just fine, Brazilian or Siamese made no difference Just as clever was the notion that because I was a black man, educated I would do just fine directing other black men to do work, English or Portuguese made no difference Was I truly so much a fool, twice over? Reinaldo occasionally was afflicted with slothfulness Some of the men thought it was from lack of **** and whip I was of a mind that it was due to lack of companionship It was costly enough to ship one giant beast across a great sea I left a wife, in Maryland, whom I never loved and who never loved me I admit before the plan was in motion I never considered that Reinaldo could have a family Sometimes, I wonder, did he have a wife who never loved him? Loneliness became a common theme in our new home away from home And Reinaldo and I became friends, at least I thought of him fondly As far as I could say, of all the men he responded best to me At times it seemed a load of lumber was hauled as a personal favor For the handler too soft to handle with fear and anger But as much as loneliness was a theme, so was change, and death The lifespan of an elephant compares to the lifespan of men Were this scheme of mine to have worked as desired I could have sent for a cow, and made Reinaldo a sire Soon it was revealed that slothfulness was a symptom of an elephant young, healthy and wise Who sensed not his own, but a friend's imminent demise Now I am left to wonder how Reinaldo will fare in a world stranger than I could have known His softest handler and only friend bedridden, waiting for my disease to take its final toll
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27
“Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about. When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied “Depression”. The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide… But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of Depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just “cheer up” with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of Depression, they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from Depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from “suicide” each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer Depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigmas that continue to surround it. Perhaps Depression might lose some its “it was his own fault” stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from Depression*. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that.”
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Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 2:19 PM UTC
An article I read. "Robin Williams did not die from suicide."
“Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about. When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied “Depression”. The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide… But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of Depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just “cheer up” with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of Depression, they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from Depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from “suicide” each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer Depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigmas that continue to surround it. Perhaps Depression might lose some its “it was his own fault” stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from Depression*. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that.”
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4
She’s the girl who you'd always run back to, You’re the boy I’d always run back to. She’s the girl who gave you the chills with her beauty, You give me the chills with yours. It’s funny how times change, People you once loved now become strangers. But- she’s a parasite, Always latching onto you and taking what she can. A symptom of a parasite is disturbed sleep, She disturbs my sleep. When I close my eyes I see her eyes, Staring into yours. One cure for a parasite is coconut oil, But no oil or remedy will remove her. The thought of her makes me aggravated, Intimidated because really I’m giving her what she wants- you. I’d like to say everything was fine until she came along, However, she was always there. We are smooth like foundation, Then she comes along, our plates collide and the bumps in the road grow. Now, I’m not one to gamble, But I bet you’re talking to her right now. Sorry I mean, I bet she’s talking to you, Because we both know she can’t get enough. I know you feel bad for her and I know you love me, But why do you feel the need to type to x’s and give her promises I’ll make sure you won’t keep. See, bless her, she’s having trouble moving on, Clearly she loved you more than you loved her because you turned a page and started writing a new song. The girl doesn’t threaten me, I know we make each other feel new. The only thing that makes me hurt, Is how you aren’t letting her get over you. You compliment, flirt and put kisses, Just so she stays tame. But to her you compliment, flirt and put kisses, Because you clearly want her again. She’s the girl who you'd always run back to, You’re the boy I’d always run back to. She’s the girl who gave you the chills with her beauty, You give me the chills with yours. One cure for a parasite is coconut oil, You know her a lot better than me. Maybe she’s allergic to coconuts… Maybe.
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Jun 19, 2015
Jun 19, 2015 at 4:27 AM UTC
Coconut Oil (Original)
She’s the girl who you'd always run back to, You’re the boy I’d always run back to. She’s the girl who gave you the chills with her beauty, You give me the chills with yours. It’s funny how times change, People you once loved now become strangers. But- she’s a parasite, Always latching onto you and taking what she can. A symptom of a parasite is disturbed sleep, She disturbs my sleep. When I close my eyes I see her eyes, Staring into yours. One cure for a parasite is coconut oil, But no oil or remedy will remove her. The thought of her makes me aggravated, Intimidated because really I’m giving her what she wants- you. I’d like to say everything was fine until she came along, However, she was always there. We are smooth like foundation, Then she comes along, our plates collide and the bumps in the road grow. Now, I’m not one to gamble, But I bet you’re talking to her right now. Sorry I mean, I bet she’s talking to you, Because we both know she can’t get enough. I know you feel bad for her and I know you love me, But why do you feel the need to type to x’s and give her promises I’ll make sure you won’t keep. See, bless her, she’s having trouble moving on, Clearly she loved you more than you loved her because you turned a page and started writing a new song. The girl doesn’t threaten me, I know we make each other feel new. The only thing that makes me hurt, Is how you aren’t letting her get over you. You compliment, flirt and put kisses, Just so she stays tame. But to her you compliment, flirt and put kisses, Because you clearly want her again. She’s the girl who you'd always run back to, You’re the boy I’d always run back to. She’s the girl who gave you the chills with her beauty, You give me the chills with yours. One cure for a parasite is coconut oil, You know her a lot better than me. Maybe she’s allergic to coconuts… Maybe.
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44
Children are walking in flour again, though these grains are the symptoms and the symptom is pain. Resting upon donated metal table, this child is lifeless with only a label around his ankle for identification. Part time doctors and full time others walk and pace and cry and panic around the mother, lifeless, with a document for identification. This is malaria. This is infant death. This is an epidemic of hysteria.
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Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 12:12 PM UTC
MALARIA
1681 Speech is one symptom of Affection And Silence one— The perfectest communication Is heard of none— Exists and its indorsement Is had within— Behold, said the Apostle, Yet had not seen!
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5.1k
Speech is one symptom of Affection
You awaken in the cardboard box That you refer to as your home The dawn is barely breaking And already you feel alone A ****** bath in a public restroom Then you’re ready to start your day Layers of stage makeup hide the wounds Of the lead in this lack of morality play First up is the sadistic businessman He knows the drugs you need But it comes with one condition That he gets to see you bleed With his one hand around your throat And the other grabbing your breast He takes whatever looks good And leaves you with the rest You straighten out your dress And try to wipe yourself clean You’re helped back to your feet By a schoolboy of age seventeen He's skipped his classes for the day And borrowed his mother's van Now he’ll gladly pay your fee If you'll make him into a man It’s all over before it begins A symptom he can't control You can barely feel it anyway Numb in both body and soul At night you meet your **** And give the devil his due You willingly submit to him As he runs you through You retreat to the cardboard box That you refer to as your home The moon is heavy in the sky And you can finally be alone Your lips wrap around the pipe The smoke molests your lungs And slowly you begin to forget The world that you came from You once dreamt of a white knight That would come and take you away Now seen as only vestiges Of a young girl’s naiveté Dignity is a memory An illusion from your past Like pleasure or happiness A feeling you could never grasp You once thought you’d hit rock bottom But there was so much further left to fall You were filled with unknown fears But now you’ve named them all Add up the rocks they pay As you break their last taboo And the secrets that they share When they’re deep inside of you A normal person would go insane But your body is no longer yours Are you less than human now? One of a thousand nameless ****** You wonder if they see a woman Or just another object on her knees You could show them who you really are But that’s not what they pay you to be
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Jan 1, 2012
Jan 1, 2012 at 5:08 PM UTC
Strawberry
You awaken in the cardboard box That you refer to as your home The dawn is barely breaking And already you feel alone A ****** bath in a public restroom Then you’re ready to start your day Layers of stage makeup hide the wounds Of the lead in this lack of morality play First up is the sadistic businessman He knows the drugs you need But it comes with one condition That he gets to see you bleed With his one hand around your throat And the other grabbing your breast He takes whatever looks good And leaves you with the rest You straighten out your dress And try to wipe yourself clean You’re helped back to your feet By a schoolboy of age seventeen He's skipped his classes for the day And borrowed his mother's van Now he’ll gladly pay your fee If you'll make him into a man It’s all over before it begins A symptom he can't control You can barely feel it anyway Numb in both body and soul At night you meet your **** And give the devil his due You willingly submit to him As he runs you through You retreat to the cardboard box That you refer to as your home The moon is heavy in the sky And you can finally be alone Your lips wrap around the pipe The smoke molests your lungs And slowly you begin to forget The world that you came from You once dreamt of a white knight That would come and take you away Now seen as only vestiges Of a young girl’s naiveté Dignity is a memory An illusion from your past Like pleasure or happiness A feeling you could never grasp You once thought you’d hit rock bottom But there was so much further left to fall You were filled with unknown fears But now you’ve named them all Add up the rocks they pay As you break their last taboo And the secrets that they share When they’re deep inside of you A normal person would go insane But your body is no longer yours Are you less than human now? One of a thousand nameless ****** You wonder if they see a woman Or just another object on her knees You could show them who you really are But that’s not what they pay you to be
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symbol cymbals synthesize size symphony nymphs syzygy gypsy sympathy thesaurus synonym nimble symptom tomato syrup up
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Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 12:44 AM UTC
Psychedelic Licks
because we fell in love with the law and fell out of love with ourselves. because the ***** of great minds wear pineapple fatigues in their fathers’ ******* from Judas swallowing 9 bullets to one day being a kid at heart a symptom of some abnormality. Ever get the feeling that you’ll die on a Tuesday? Or one day wake up on their government bed Screaming, “you can blame the French Revolution On silent reading!” watching as three teacups of *** plan war on the asphalt.
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Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 5:59 PM UTC
Fried Chicken War of 1812
You know that I want you. I'm sure of it. But still the little tortures come. Your cheshire smile glowing brightly. Your hand holding mine to your side. Your unbridled compliments and playful digs Each with their subtle symptom of love. But you don't love me. You just love being loved. And I'm tired of writing poems about you And screaming to the heavens that I am yours.
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Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
The Asymmetry of Longing
I get this feeling, It sinks through my spine. Sits in my bones. Like an unwanted guest, And I, the unwilling host. The intruder finds its way to my feet. Making my toes curl, And tap. Restlessly twitching, As if ready to run. But I'm not ready for anything. My hands do the same. Hard to hold anything, With this earthquake Terrorizing my body. Cold and uneasy, They cling to each other. Is it just a chemical, Artificial affliction? Or a symptom, Of all lost direction? Where do I put All this misplaced disruption? Now find the pieces, Paint the picture. Find some reason In this sloppy meter. My understated explanation.
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May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 8:39 PM UTC
Warning signs
Feelings are funny things I used think feelings were the sweet feelings you felt when you were very young When you were little (Before the emptiness came) These were what feelings were... to me. So it used to baffle me when I got older After I'd gone through some traumas of my own in life And suddenly I found much to my dismay That I no longer felt anything inside myself anymore Only an emptiness, a numbness, a nothingness... a void Those lovely early feelings had now all gone I knew...I knew there was something wrong But then I'd hear some people say "Oh, I feel this way or I feel that way... I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel... And I'd think to myself What! you still feel something inside yourself Y'know Me! I don't feel anything anymore All my old feelings that made me who I was they've  all gone And I have no idea how to get them back again. But then I'd think Y'know when you say you feel...say you feel lonely or depressed or calm and confident Overwhelmed or in control... whatever! all these different emotions/ so called feelings But these aren't.... these aren't the real feelings are they Not like the feelings you had when you were a little child Their just... aren't they just words describing mental states where/how you find yourself during the day You feel sad probably because you're thinking sad thoughts Or you feel happy because you're thinking happy thoughts But sure I could do that Yea! I could say well I feel... I feel hungry Or I feel a bit apprehensive about something that's coming up Or maybe I feel excited because I'm going out to a show somewhere But these... these aren't the real feelings are they though Not the lovely sweet feelings you had as a little child No! Their not the same. Y'know when a child comes into the world they start as a clean slate They have no words at all to begin with Yet even then they have these incredible sweet feelings inside that make them feel so happy and so special It makes them feel like they own the whole world Maybe... maybe their a symptom of the Divine. I...I don't know. And I'd say this to someone sometimes and it's like they'd look at me kind of strangely As if to say "What do you mean... when you say... the real feelings!
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Aug 25, 2022
Aug 25, 2022 at 12:02 PM UTC
The Real feelings
Feelings are funny things I used think feelings were the sweet feelings you felt when you were very young When you were little (Before the emptiness came) These were what feelings were... to me. So it used to baffle me when I got older After I'd gone through some traumas of my own in life And suddenly I found much to my dismay That I no longer felt anything inside myself anymore Only an emptiness, a numbness, a nothingness... a void Those lovely early feelings had now all gone I knew...I knew there was something wrong But then I'd hear some people say "Oh, I feel this way or I feel that way... I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel... And I'd think to myself What! you still feel something inside yourself Y'know Me! I don't feel anything anymore All my old feelings that made me who I was they've  all gone And I have no idea how to get them back again. But then I'd think Y'know when you say you feel...say you feel lonely or depressed or calm and confident Overwhelmed or in control... whatever! all these different emotions/ so called feelings But these aren't.... these aren't the real feelings are they Not like the feelings you had when you were a little child Their just... aren't they just words describing mental states where/how you find yourself during the day You feel sad probably because you're thinking sad thoughts Or you feel happy because you're thinking happy thoughts But sure I could do that Yea! I could say well I feel... I feel hungry Or I feel a bit apprehensive about something that's coming up Or maybe I feel excited because I'm going out to a show somewhere But these... these aren't the real feelings are they though Not the lovely sweet feelings you had as a little child No! Their not the same. Y'know when a child comes into the world they start as a clean slate They have no words at all to begin with Yet even then they have these incredible sweet feelings inside that make them feel so happy and so special It makes them feel like they own the whole world Maybe... maybe their a symptom of the Divine. I...I don't know. And I'd say this to someone sometimes and it's like they'd look at me kind of strangely As if to say "What do you mean... when you say... the real feelings!
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41
just now my heart gave two great and heaving beats that shuddered my whole chest. i know this is just a symptom of the cardiac quirk i inherited from my mother but it felt to me like some sort of physical closure. for a moment after it happened my chest didn't have that emptiness anymore. my body is healing my nonbody. that's what it felt like. for a second, anyway.
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Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 11:03 PM UTC
my hereditary heart disease is sending me subliminal messages
After running some tests Injecting needles in your veins ******* blood from you even if it's the only ounce left He says you're sick Holding a pen, he prescripts It's for you to buy, a list of medicines And so you have to try You have no choice but to buy Or else, as per Dr. Quack Quack, you'll die As you take in Your wallet's thinning While the packets of medicines are still stacking Then another symptom came And so you have to visit the clinic again Déjà vu you thought, Dr. Quack Quack greeted you smiling He says you're sick again Holding a pen, he prescripts again It's for you to buy again, a list of medicines Oblivious to you He's preparing his checklist too After traveling to Europe, next stop to Honolulu
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Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 11:27 PM UTC
Dr. Quack Quack
People say they want to try to fix the World's problems, yet few do more than simply imply that the Symptoms are the problem; We need to stop simply treating Symptoms and begin again to seek the Source; only then can we begin to progress and begin again to Harmonize. But they don't really want that; you see, they like the World's problems: Perhaps they see it as Vindication for propagating their vitriolic Dogmas. Perhaps they seek to seize control of Earth and her Inhabitants, or perhaps they seek to establish lucrative business contracts. In any case, it seems to me to be the case that they'd have stopped some problems, just in case; that is, if the case was that they truly and earnestly sought to: The World's Problems ensure future Business for the Military-Industrial Complex. The World's Problems enure future Business for the Pharmaceutical-Industrial Complex. The World's Problems ensure future Business for the Disedification-Industrial Complex. The World's Problems ensure future Business for Banks, Demagogues, Tyrants, Corporations and Thieves (sometimes all are one in the same!) - We need to stop dwelling upon the Symptoms and do something about the ******* Source; It's about time we, as Humans, stood up to this; our Wretched System, for precisely the same ideals it so facetiously claims: Justice, Equality, Freedom, Liberty, Tranquility, Solidarity, Opportunity, Prosperity; We have strayed. We have been betrayed. We are being played: We should be ******* irate. Irate, and yet Calm. Non-violent, yet resisting: Civil Disobedience is a Virtue in a World such as This. Civil Disobedience is a Symptom of a World such as This.
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Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 10:01 PM UTC
Symptoms
People say they want to try to fix the World's problems, yet few do more than simply imply that the Symptoms are the problem; We need to stop simply treating Symptoms and begin again to seek the Source; only then can we begin to progress and begin again to Harmonize. But they don't really want that; you see, they like the World's problems: Perhaps they see it as Vindication for propagating their vitriolic Dogmas. Perhaps they seek to seize control of Earth and her Inhabitants, or perhaps they seek to establish lucrative business contracts. In any case, it seems to me to be the case that they'd have stopped some problems, just in case; that is, if the case was that they truly and earnestly sought to: The World's Problems ensure future Business for the Military-Industrial Complex. The World's Problems enure future Business for the Pharmaceutical-Industrial Complex. The World's Problems ensure future Business for the Disedification-Industrial Complex. The World's Problems ensure future Business for Banks, Demagogues, Tyrants, Corporations and Thieves (sometimes all are one in the same!) - We need to stop dwelling upon the Symptoms and do something about the ******* Source; It's about time we, as Humans, stood up to this; our Wretched System, for precisely the same ideals it so facetiously claims: Justice, Equality, Freedom, Liberty, Tranquility, Solidarity, Opportunity, Prosperity; We have strayed. We have been betrayed. We are being played: We should be ******* irate. Irate, and yet Calm. Non-violent, yet resisting: Civil Disobedience is a Virtue in a World such as This. Civil Disobedience is a Symptom of a World such as This.
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47
Teasing the beast Looking for a feast Hounds barking at our ears Vultures flying up ahead Circling a bald eagle's fresh corpse Compartmentalizing symptom after symptom To hide the great systematic sickness Labeling the suffering, outcome from desire We, wholeheartedly accepting being Appropriated, labeled, discarded As construing our own oppression and sadness Enduring the **** of our minds Being castrated of our consciousness Before we reap the products Of its bold liberation and grandness Its the belly of the beast And its hungry Insatiable, amoral entrails Hoping to salvage a feast From the casualties of d(e)moc(ratic) wars Hoping we feed our monstrous fear Thirsting for the greed Dripping off of accumulating wealths Impatiently waiting, we keep parceling out grudges Disfiguring our minds, our souls, and our bodies Its misanthropic nature lashes out without conscience Knowing we'll never realize we are masses Disappearing the individuals who realize their suffering Ensuring there's no collective opposition or action Trying to reassure we are weak Knowing at some point or another We all act mute, deaf, and blind when anyone experiences: Oppression Pain Silencing **** Hunger Fear Violence Repression Retaliation Discrimination Torture Negation Alienation All forms of mental, psychological, physical, and spiritual mutilation Fearing death more than fighting for necessary abolishment Preferring to live out our veiled miseries Endorsing their continuance Instead of risking our lives for everyone's liberation Always ensuring the feast of the beast By its very efforts trying to decree our very human nature Ingraining greed, fear, animosity, and weakness as if inherent of us All parts of its most damaging weapon: the seed of discord Its implantation, a socialized deep desire for self-preservation Sheep bleating painfully toward our ears Vultures flying up ahead Circling a bald eagle's fresh corpse Signifying the impending recapturing Of our true transformative desires
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May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 11:30 PM UTC
Rescuing Our True Transformative Desires
Teasing the beast Looking for a feast Hounds barking at our ears Vultures flying up ahead Circling a bald eagle's fresh corpse Compartmentalizing symptom after symptom To hide the great systematic sickness Labeling the suffering, outcome from desire We, wholeheartedly accepting being Appropriated, labeled, discarded As construing our own oppression and sadness Enduring the **** of our minds Being castrated of our consciousness Before we reap the products Of its bold liberation and grandness Its the belly of the beast And its hungry Insatiable, amoral entrails Hoping to salvage a feast From the casualties of d(e)moc(ratic) wars Hoping we feed our monstrous fear Thirsting for the greed Dripping off of accumulating wealths Impatiently waiting, we keep parceling out grudges Disfiguring our minds, our souls, and our bodies Its misanthropic nature lashes out without conscience Knowing we'll never realize we are masses Disappearing the individuals who realize their suffering Ensuring there's no collective opposition or action Trying to reassure we are weak Knowing at some point or another We all act mute, deaf, and blind when anyone experiences: Oppression Pain Silencing **** Hunger Fear Violence Repression Retaliation Discrimination Torture Negation Alienation All forms of mental, psychological, physical, and spiritual mutilation Fearing death more than fighting for necessary abolishment Preferring to live out our veiled miseries Endorsing their continuance Instead of risking our lives for everyone's liberation Always ensuring the feast of the beast By its very efforts trying to decree our very human nature Ingraining greed, fear, animosity, and weakness as if inherent of us All parts of its most damaging weapon: the seed of discord Its implantation, a socialized deep desire for self-preservation Sheep bleating painfully toward our ears Vultures flying up ahead Circling a bald eagle's fresh corpse Signifying the impending recapturing Of our true transformative desires
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60
"I love food too much to be anorexic. Thats the thing, Anorexics love food. But with anorexia, Food is no longer, Texture, Smell, Warmth, Energy, Taste. Food becomes numbers, Calories, 1000. 800. 600. 200. Until Calories, Become chemicals. Sugar Free Jelly, Pepsi Max, Low fat ice-cream. ... NOTHING. Anorexia is not about a love, It is about a hate. An over-whelming hatred. For your body, For your faults, For yourself. Starving is merely a symptom. Too many work out sessions is merely a symptom. Your thoughts are a poison. Not your acts." My name is Athena Grace and I have battle anorexia for 4 years. I am 16 years old. At the age of 12 years old my idea of beauty was constructed into something toxic. On my 12th birthday I was 5'2 and a beautiful 134 pounds. On my 13th birthday I was 5'3 1/2 and a sliming 112 pounds. On my 14th birthday I was 5'5 and a stick thin 100 pounds. On my 15th birthday I was in the hospital. I was 5'5 1/2 and 89 pounds. On my 16th birthday I was 5'6 and 118 pounds. I am halfway to my 17th birthday and I am 5'7 feet tall and 105 pounds. I was getting bad again. I refuse to get bad again. I am my own savior, and that is what I have learned. I will recover. I will never look at food like you do, but that is okay.
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Sep 21, 2015
Sep 21, 2015 at 10:22 AM UTC
"I LOVE FOOD TO MUCH..."
My lips hold back the lava in my chest. The burning, consuming, encroaching destruction is hardening my resolve more than you could have guessed. I feel so at home in the flames that water is so underwhelming. It’s the coals I sleep on through everything. To look so long at the light only to blind myself each time; You’d think I’d learn my lesson after each rhyme. I’ve never felt comfort for long enough to recall. The videos of me laughing are something that now make me bawl. I don’t know how that feels anymore. I don’t remember what you sound like or the color of your front door. Your voice no longer echoes in my head. Your face no longer plagues me in bed. I don’t know you outside of memories; Moments of my time that bite like fleas. You make me itch still, A symptom that which the spot can never refill. I’ve been battling between anger and grief for so long now. It’s a why; it’s a how. It’s a feeling I can’t live without. No matter how hard I try to erase the pressure or smother the intensity, the kindling always relights in this drought. With a deep breath in, releasing all the smoke back out. It’s my meditation now. It’s my medication now. To smell it on someone else and be engrossed in the poison that this can allow; My dear, that’s intoxicating for me lately. A mass we are swallowing with the passing moment cornering us innately. I don’t partake with my own vessel but I will consume a host so absorbed. They don’t see me molding my character every time I get bored. One day I will have the entire puzzle lined up together. Each piece fitted so perfectly, completely combined in a tether. They will compose a tale so broken and numb. That’s the feeling that fills my ****** drum. Every tear is a bad dream. Every eyelash is a wish for this story to have a different theme.
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Jul 7, 2022
Jul 7, 2022 at 2:02 AM UTC
Reptiles with a Nicotine Addiction
My lips hold back the lava in my chest. The burning, consuming, encroaching destruction is hardening my resolve more than you could have guessed. I feel so at home in the flames that water is so underwhelming. It’s the coals I sleep on through everything. To look so long at the light only to blind myself each time; You’d think I’d learn my lesson after each rhyme. I’ve never felt comfort for long enough to recall. The videos of me laughing are something that now make me bawl. I don’t know how that feels anymore. I don’t remember what you sound like or the color of your front door. Your voice no longer echoes in my head. Your face no longer plagues me in bed. I don’t know you outside of memories; Moments of my time that bite like fleas. You make me itch still, A symptom that which the spot can never refill. I’ve been battling between anger and grief for so long now. It’s a why; it’s a how. It’s a feeling I can’t live without. No matter how hard I try to erase the pressure or smother the intensity, the kindling always relights in this drought. With a deep breath in, releasing all the smoke back out. It’s my meditation now. It’s my medication now. To smell it on someone else and be engrossed in the poison that this can allow; My dear, that’s intoxicating for me lately. A mass we are swallowing with the passing moment cornering us innately. I don’t partake with my own vessel but I will consume a host so absorbed. They don’t see me molding my character every time I get bored. One day I will have the entire puzzle lined up together. Each piece fitted so perfectly, completely combined in a tether. They will compose a tale so broken and numb. That’s the feeling that fills my ****** drum. Every tear is a bad dream. Every eyelash is a wish for this story to have a different theme.
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34
1202 The Frost was never seen— If met, too rapid passed, Or in too unsubstantial Team— The Flowers notice first A Stranger hovering round A Symptom of alarm In Villages remotely set But search effaces him Till some retrieveless Night Our Vigilance at waste The Garden gets the only shot That never could be traced. Unproved is much we know— Unknown the worst we fear— Of Strangers is the Earth the Inn Of Secrets is the Air— To analyze perhaps A Philip would prefer But Labor vaster than myself I find it to infer.
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3.3k
The Frost was never seen—
Anxiety quelled by more medication and an anxiety class where I learn it is all about fight, flight, freeze and saber tooth tigers and every symptom can be explained scientifically and tabulated and put on a balance sheet where insignificant experimental mortals like me can put check marks in little boxes and the totality of my existence can then be clearly defined and understood by someone wearing a plastic name card around her neck announcing PhD. The room has no windows, only a hand written poster from an AA meeting and stale air and three anxious women out of the ten people who are supposed to be here. No one knows, but I am in boot camp inside my head It is the mindfulness of anxiety anxious thoughts, thoughts of you are to be immediately exterminated Perhaps the hand sanitizer that is available at every corner in this place will help
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Jul 2, 2012
Jul 2, 2012 at 1:05 PM UTC
Boot Camp
I hope you will tell me I cannot know your secrets without your words I hope you will tell me Tell me please your thoughts of suicide You might feel scared to tell me When I ask you if you are thinking of suicide I will try to help you feel safe I will not judge you I will not interrogate you I will not panic I will listen gently as you tell your story In your own words in your own way Suicide might tell you not to Suicide might tell you I am your enemy Suicide lies Suicide might tell you that nobody could possibly help you That dying is the only way to end your pain Suicide might tell you that you are a bad person Defective, undeserving of life Or love or hope of compassion Please tell me I cannot help you fight the enemy If you do not tell me about the enemy The enemy that is trying to **** you Do not trust suicide They are not rational They are a symptom a sign a cry for inside Something inside you needs healing Healing not killing Tell me please what suicide tells you Does it tell you everything is wrong with you Suicide plays tricks with truth Hiding the truths that make you want to live The pieces of hope The pathways to healing The possible Tell me, please Tell somebody
0
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 12:53 PM UTC
tell me
Trophies for last place, And a Holiday for every weekend. A taste of this and that... OF Italy and Ireland and Asia and Germany and every township in the county, and 3 collective Miles of Portable Toilets, Strategically Positioned throughout each event. cause there is going to be a Lot of **** Hooray for whatever we are celebrating this weekend. Whichever one of the 30 different Woodstocks Or week long Music Festivals That exist only so the Hippest of Hipsters can congratulate each other on how Indie they are. Ya know, it's happy hour somewhere... Why not party All Day, Everyday? Devalue the weekend Like we have thanksgiving And New Years. A Five Kay For the Common Cold, And We'll even give trophies for last place. Cause we're all winners here. and we're all hungry. And What represents your heritage better than Pizza or sauerkraut or General Tso's And endless flowing barrels of refreshing, Ice cold, Domestically brewed and Nationally brand recognized Alcoholic Beverages? IT's The Great Dumb Down, Charlie Brown!!! A symptom of the Universe If there ever was one. Mass anesthesia to keep us all content With our collective mediocrities, our Forfeit Potential, Our Day Job that doesn't pay very well, But kind has benefits. So we stay on. In fear of nothing better. It makes feel important. Like Wheel of Fortune makes us feel smart. (Wow, you can spell?!)... Dwindling returns in a world of Beige and Pastels And the Muted Grays of limestone concrete. We Accept less and we Get less and we accept less and we Get less And On And on and on, till we hit that lowest common cultural denominator, where your race is what food you eat, And we all qualify for the special Olympics.
0
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 9:52 AM UTC
Peppermint Pattie's Farting Circus
Trophies for last place, And a Holiday for every weekend. A taste of this and that... OF Italy and Ireland and Asia and Germany and every township in the county, and 3 collective Miles of Portable Toilets, Strategically Positioned throughout each event. cause there is going to be a Lot of **** Hooray for whatever we are celebrating this weekend. Whichever one of the 30 different Woodstocks Or week long Music Festivals That exist only so the Hippest of Hipsters can congratulate each other on how Indie they are. Ya know, it's happy hour somewhere... Why not party All Day, Everyday? Devalue the weekend Like we have thanksgiving And New Years. A Five Kay For the Common Cold, And We'll even give trophies for last place. Cause we're all winners here. and we're all hungry. And What represents your heritage better than Pizza or sauerkraut or General Tso's And endless flowing barrels of refreshing, Ice cold, Domestically brewed and Nationally brand recognized Alcoholic Beverages? IT's The Great Dumb Down, Charlie Brown!!! A symptom of the Universe If there ever was one. Mass anesthesia to keep us all content With our collective mediocrities, our Forfeit Potential, Our Day Job that doesn't pay very well, But kind has benefits. So we stay on. In fear of nothing better. It makes feel important. Like Wheel of Fortune makes us feel smart. (Wow, you can spell?!)... Dwindling returns in a world of Beige and Pastels And the Muted Grays of limestone concrete. We Accept less and we Get less and we accept less and we Get less And On And on and on, till we hit that lowest common cultural denominator, where your race is what food you eat, And we all qualify for the special Olympics.
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50
Love is like a disease it spreads. Hatred is an itch when you keep Scratching it. It Fester an kills you. When i think about the things I've said. Feelings I felt. I melt inside. It turns my in sides out. My heart combust An I hate myself. Why are I not enough. Denial will have you walk for miles. Sorrow is a sweet after taste of a sucker punch of truth. Loneliness is only a symptom. An that to will pass. I am a enigma of feeling. I cry when the rain falls to hard. When the wind blows in the wrong directions. I'm poetic. I'm also a stepping stone. The men I've let erase my soul an rewrite my blueprint. The salty tears I cry are almost symbiotic. Another symptom. Like a sonnet short an sweet. Running in a circle walking a fine line. Waiting to leap. Is it a crime to work 9 to 9. Roller coaster emotinal train wreck. An I think to myself who will love me. I bare myself to the pit an it asks me if I'll jump. I reply not today. Slumped down I step closer to the edge. I reenact self destructive behaviors daily. Am I considered an addict. I seek validation from namless phantoms. I named them my self conscious. Are you listening my beating heart gets louder. I order cream an chowder. Sips slow on estacy. Love an lust sleep next to me. I'm smothered in one while I'm blocked to the other. Exits are closed off I think where is my mother.  I shudder remembering I'm alone.
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Oct 30, 2018
Oct 30, 2018 at 7:59 AM UTC
My broken heart wrote this
Standing by the shallow waters I stare Sun is shining but no shadow is visible The other side has something unknow But I feel too weak to sail my boat.. What I might find I am not aware The first push I give is crucial The Mast is broken,wind sail is torn As I felt a spear down my throat.. Cross these waters before the thunders But why am I afraid of them now? Let the wind sail the ship home Take me to the place unknown.. Random things at random times Is a symptom. We have to adapt Weak heart has an ego to be killed Mosaic minds have to be willed...
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Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 4:47 PM UTC
Shallow