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i saw her
from across the room
wrote her script
from start to finish
which she never read
or auditioned

i never approached
instead
walked away
afraid
of rejection

more comfortable
in isolation
loneliness
craving
her companionship

rehearsing tragedy
sucker punched
by reality
wanting change
living in pain

afraid to live
scared to die
all i want to do
is cry
a broken heart
the first of many

a broken heart
one of many

a broken heart
another of many

a broken heart
the last of many
i loved you
the moment
i saw you

waited
for when

the girl
grew up

to love you
why is it
when you touch me
with such tenderness
i start to cry
is it spring
or summer
remember our first
kiss
you were 14
your eyes singed

drinking beer
sitting on my chevy
dreaming big
small town kids
both virgins
exploring
each other
making out

do you
you ever think
of me?
love is messy
detrimental
sometimes deadly

too fragile
emotionally
to endure
another

barely
holding on
mending
protecting
a broken heart

to put myself
in harm’s way

a lover’s gambit
of present pain
for future pleasure

love is vulnerable
showing partners
flaws and all
how many times
must i run away

blaming others
for my pain

i see the truth
reflected
in the mirror
every morning

it’s not them
but me
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