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  Jun 20 Willow Branche
You overestimate
my will to stay here,
I'm one inch away
from ceasing to be.
I look inside my heart
and there's nothing left here,
what kind of cruel joke
have they played on me?
Tear me down
'til there's nothing left,
is this your idea of fun?
I don't speak like I used to,
I don't think like I used to,
I'm just waiting for the end.
I'm not attached
to the idea of living
some dead-end life anymore,
I'm sick of living just to live.
I'm sick of feeling embarrassed
by just existing within my skin,
what did I do to deserve
this all-out assault?
I believe I was judged
straight from the womb,
I've never lived up
to anyone's expectations.
No chance to feel human,
I feel like a freak in a cage.
I'm sick of being punished
for simply being born.
I didn't ask for this.
You were a warm, weighted blanket,
You comforted me when I was alone.
You made me feel safe and well,
You quickly became my home.
Your embrace was warm and welcoming,
But soon became too hot.
I tried to kick you off of me,
I fought with all I’ve got.
Your hold was now too tight,
Sometimes I couldn’t breathe.
I swore I’d never touch you again,
But I’m truth, I couldn’t leave.
You were all I never wanted,
This thing, sewn to my bed,
But I couldn’t ask a soul for help,
So I clung to you instead.
People soon began to worry,
If I was doing alright.
I missed work, events, and meals,
Just to sleep with you at night.
I thought that I could manage you,
That I could pick and choose…
“An evening here, an evening there”
But it’s a game that I would lose.
One night you suffocated me,
Made me sleep for “one last time”.
But someone cut you off of me,
And brought me back to life.
I really thought I loved you,
But I should have known better.
I should have known you’d almost **** me…
I should have bought a sweater.
Goodbye ******. You’ll never have me again.
I'm running.
I'm running out of patience
I'm running out of time
I'm running from myself
And All I do is cry.
I'm running on empty
I'm on autopilot now
Breathing has become a labor
And I just don't know how.
This pressure is so suffocating
I can't seem to smile
I just want to run
To Get away for a while.
But these chains, they bind me here
I can't let them down
But I can't save myself
I need you now.
This emptiness is killing me
I don't know where to turn
And so I'll run into the sun
And Away my soul will burn.
Willow Branche Feb 2021
My heart’s been pulled out of my chest. And I’m the one who pulled it. All of my decisions have led to this point and now I have to deal with the consequences. I am a murderer. I am my own judge and jury and I am going away for a LONG time...
Willow Branche Feb 2021
When my body and soul want to die,
Your glittering image strikes my eye,
Flowers befall me,
The pain melts away,
When my mind says “go!”
My heart wants to stay.
The devil can’t catch me,
I’m safe in your arms,
You won’t let the voices,
Do me much harm.
You kiss away tears,
You hold me so close,
You make me smile
when I’m hurting the most.
So when I call you my angel,
I just want to say,
When the demons surround me,
  Jan 2021 Willow Branche
I remember the day you broke me,
that was just the beginning
of my collapse.
The reason I'm afraid of people,
I jump when I feel their touch.
It reminds me of those times
where you ruined me
and felt nothing while you did it.
You're the reason why
I can't do anything in my life.
You're the reason why
I'm defective, unable to move.
Get your hands off of me and please
just rip your name from my memory.
It's cruel enough that I have to remember
but I couldn't bear it if anyone else found out.
It sickens me to the point of nausea,
I almost can't live with it.
Why did you do this to me?
I feel like I could drown.
After all of these years
I still can't figure it out.
I live with the fact that a specific event happened to me during my childhood. I refuse to state what it was. I will not do that. I can't do that. This is something I think about every day. I would consider it extremely traumatic. It's the reason I cannot consistently function in life. It's probably the reason why I write. During nights like these I just cannot ignore it, so I wrote this out of frustration about a situation I cannot escape. A predetermined trauma that will not go away.
  Aug 2020 Willow Branche
I suddenly feel like dying
Maybe it’s cause I puked up my meds
Drinking too much
Pushing my limits
Maybe I’m lonely
Actually yeah of course I am
I’m empty inside
I could break open my skin
And not even care
So... maybe I’ll just flirt with some boys...
That’ll make it better...
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