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  Jun 13 Willow Branche
tw self harm

I hear its sweet voice in my head
Making promises
Offering deals....
A little cut to calm the nerves?
That.. that sounds reasonable...
Its voice grows louder and louder
Tempting, coaxing

I don’t want it!
I’m not doing that anymore!
I won’t do it!
I try to protest

But there’s an ache in my heart
A restless, painful void
And while I know it’s not a solution
I do know it’ll release some pressure....
Make it a little easier...
maybe? maybe I’ll try... just a bit...
  Jun 13 Willow Branche
i got distracted
by your laugh

so, if there was a sign
at the border,
i missed it

all i know
is now i’m in a place
called love

and all the houses
look like you
The hum of your song, sings me to sleep
It’s the only thing that makes me comfortable
Your voice it pulls me in so deep
Into the light, out of the miserable
Sing to me my angel,
Free me from this prison.
I walk among the living dead,
I walk without a mission.
The silk reverberates across your tongue
Tell me that I’m special
Tell me I’m the only one.
I’ll make you my queen when you are done.
You are my song,
the one that plays so beautifully
You are my song,
the one that plays so magically
You’re my magical girl,
with that life saving gaze
You are the one for who I’ll change all my ways.
You are my song.
My beautiful song.
So sing to me.
Shall I compare thee to the butterfly,
Thou hast more beauty, more strength, and more grace.
Rough winds do blow paper wings toward the sky,
And an icy chill doest berate h’r face.

The weight of h’r first original form:
But a caterpillar, she did abhor,
Brings onto h’r face a look so forlorn
Alas! One day she proclaimed she would soar!

With wings so frail, she emerged from her sleep,
With a new body, h’r soul couldst keepeth
To findeth a love so quaint and so deep,
Upon my gaze, thee did take hence mine breath.

I hath’t such adoration for thy soul,
For t’ is mine weak heart, yond hath’t quickly stole.
My rendition of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18. Written for my love for Valentine’s Day.
Why do I matter? Why should I stay?
Because where you leave your pain and suffering, many people who are still here will pick it up... Yes, you may feel like no one cares or they wouldn’t notice if you left, but you are wrong. You're worth much more than you realize. Every persons life is important and meaningful because of how we are all connected. Look around... how many people are in your world? How many people have you come in contact with? Even if they never met you in person, even if they've never said a word to you; your death would affect their life.
One of my brother’s best friends died when we were in high school. Geoff was never a huge part in my life, but he was in my world. He was always over my house because my brother and his were best friends and they were swim/water polo teammates.  His death was caused by meningitis, not suicide, but even so, it impacted so many people and took everyone by surprise. When they announced his name over the loud speaker that day at school, I felt a part of my heart break... Because I knew that right then, his parents, sister and his older brother were in so much pain... Because I knew all of his friends, my brother included, were crying, mourning and thinking of all of the times they had had with him. Even to this day, almost 10 years later, people still post things about him on Facebook. Every year on his birthday, I see people sharing photos and memories. I see his brothers posts on the anniversary of his death and my heart breaks over and over. I watched his brother collapse and scream — crying over the loss of his brother. I'll never forget that sound. I can never forget that image. His parents had a complete mental break down. His mom was actually institutionalized afterwards because she was a danger to herself. His father became an alcoholic very soon after Geoffs death. No one could comprehend what life was going to be like without Geoff. Even people like me, someone who only knew him in passing, were affected by his death. You may think that you are worthless, that no one will miss you, that this pain will never end, but you aren’t, they will, and it will. Trust me love. I’ve gone through 27 years of fighting mental illness, loss, and suicide attempts. I know exactly what you’re going through, but committing suicide would destroy a lot of people. This is a part of the reason I hold on. So, Please don't give up. It gets better.
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