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galaxy of myths Mar 2017
[02/03 2:37 pm] Blue: I hate him. I keep staring at him from afar and then when I can't see him, I'll stalk his pics. Drinking in his features, scrutinizing everything, comparing to what it looks like. Always, always in my thoughts. When I'm awake, when I'm asleep. Always. I need to stop this. I haven't had a crush this bad in so long
[02/03 2:38 pm] Blue: When he's next to me I'd sneak some glances and have it etched in my memory. Like last week I noticed his long nails and how it tat-tat-tatted on the table as he waited for the page on the laptop to load
[02/03 2:40 pm] Blue: When he walks I see how he moves his arms a little. It's like he needs to keep moving and I find it fascinating cause I've always been reserved and try not to attract people's attention while he basks in them. Seems like he wants to fill in the empty spaces around him. That is something I wouldn't do intentionally
[02/03 2:42 pm] Blue: If he were a dancer I'd understand why he's so laid back, so confident with his swagger and he's used to moving a lot. It's really mesmerizing and it pains me that I couldn't get close to him. I wish I could see more of him and study his quirks
[02/03 2:44 pm] Blue: Do you see where this is going? I, a curious watcher, am filled with restless waves crashing when it comes to him but he is just the calm waters after the storm
[02/03 2:44 pm] Blue: So you can't really ship it cause it isn't good for me
[02/03 4:48 pm] Aphrodite: I, for one, do not know him enough, still. Physically, yes, he's lovely to look at. Absolute eye candy. Like how some people are to me. They're fun to poke around with and maybe flirt a little, but a serious relationship is hard with them, at least, that's what I think.
[02/03 4:49 pm] Aphrodite: I still don't know him enough to know if he's good for you and, trust me, I would want nothing but the best for you.
[02/03 4:49 pm] Aphrodite: How intriguing he is to you doesn't really faze me. I think it's adorable, and it's a fun thing to watch people gush about.
[02/03 4:51 pm] Aphrodite: He's a typical bad boy but I've seen his loyalty to his friends and his unwavering need to be with his friends. Maybe he's not too bad.
[02/03 4:51 pm] Aphrodite: You are an absolute queen and anyone you date should be on par, if not better.
[02/03 4:51 pm] Aphrodite: Bad boys are fun too.
[02/03 4:55 pm] Blue: Thank you :(
[02/03 4:55 pm] Blue: Aha I wish he'd find it (and me) adorable too
[02/03 4:56 pm] Blue: When will I ever find that person
[02/03 4:56 pm] Blue: But I'm not a bad girl? Idk
[02/03 4:57 pm] Aphrodite: Sometimes never, because you're an angel and everyone here are devils and they're never gonna be good enough for tou
[02/03 4:57 pm] Aphrodite: Bad boys don't need bad girls
[02/03 5:01 pm] Blue: Guess I'm ****** to be alone, unloved, forever
[02/03 5:02 pm] Blue: Idk but I'm probably uninteresting to him
[02/03 5:02 pm] Aphrodite: I highly doubt it won't happen, especially with the way you are and how your words pull people in and your voice breaks hearts
[02/03 5:03 pm] Aphrodite: He's nonchalant about the world
[02/03 5:04 pm] Blue: And I break a little on the inside for wanting to be a part of his world
Al Apr 2017
1:46 am
You wake up and roll over in bed
I ask you to light me a cigarette
but I fall back asleep before you can hand it to me

5:00 am
My alarm clock goes off
the ring is a recording of you screaming that we thought was hilarious
I pull on yesterday's pants and your hoodie
You kiss my wrist before I leave

5:30 am
I get back into bed before my mom realizes I was gone
Curl up in my own bed and go back to sleep

7:53 am
I'm already 2 minutes late for my first hour class
I take my medication before I leave
I kick myself for not taking the cigarette at 1:46 am

10:59 am
You text me three times during my math class,
the teacher hates me for it
"AL."
"Guess what."
"I brought you sandwiches from your favorite restaurant in town."
I love that you end every text with a period

11:20 am
You also brought me a *** brownie

12:30 pm
The brownie kicks in
I can't focus on the documentary about gentrification in India
All I can think about is how your hair looked like ****
I go to the bathroom so I can call you and tell you
You call me an *******
I almost tell you I love you before I hang up
But I bite my tongue

1:04 pm
I walk right out of my sixth hour class
in the middle of a lecture
Because everyone's acting like the fact that Rodion is mentally ill
somehow discredits his theories
And I know you read "Crime and Punishment" last year
and I want to know if you're an extraordinary man

1:22 pm
You get your sober friend Ryan to drive us to the theater
for a 2:10 showing of boss baby
you sit in the back seat with me
my eyes are glued to the way your fingers dance with the cigarette
I think you're the most beautiful person in the world
I think that I love you

1:25 pm
I think that the last person I thought those things about
convinced me I wasn't worth love.
And showed me just how cruel love can be
I don't know if I trust you
if I'm being honest.

2:04 pm
You buy me popcorn
and I buy your movie ticket
Somebody calls us ******* when we kiss in the lobby
Neither of us notice until Ryan points it out later

3:48 pm
Boss Baby's over
Neither of us notice because we're kissing
The theater is empty except for me, you, Ryan, and the employee
Ryan tells us we're gay

3:50 pm
By the time we get outside
We're yelling at each other
I'm telling you to stop talking **** about my friends
You're telling me to stop letting people push me around
I'm screaming a paragraph of information you should know
when you interrupt me with a kiss
Quick
Passionate
Beautiful
It only makes me angrier
Are you stupid?
This isn't a ******* romcom, Pete.

4:00 pm
We don't talk the rest of the car ride home
But we pass a cigarette between the two of us
and it's like we made up

5:13 pm
My friend Andrew picks me up
His car smells like ****
I don't say goodbye to you before I go
but I leave a lighter by your car keys
because I know you'll forget one if I don't.

5:57 pm
Andrew keeps picking up more and more people
He says we're "pre-gaming" for the party tonight
He lets me borrow hair product and cologne
Not so I can impress you, of course
Just so I can look good

6:00 pm
I suddenly realize
that out of 6 people in this car
I'm the only one with a ******
I ask to go to the party early

7:14 pm
I send you a text
"I'm here, motherbitch"
Bring me a hoodie. It's cold."
I almost tag "I love you" on the end
but I settle for
"P.S. you're gross and smell bad."

7:16 pm
You respond
"I'm bringing the blue one."
"Hope it'll cover up that ugly shirt you were wearing earlier."
We both know that it's your shirt
"P.S. you have weird leg hair."
"P.P.S. I think the Boss Baby qualifies as an extraordinary man, by Rodion's definition. He seems above the law. I dunno though. Think on it."
Sometimes I think you're a genius

8:37 pm
You're over an hour late
I'm cold
I yell at you the minute you step out of your car
You yell at me for being so selfish
I tell you to never say that about me again
You know that that's a touchy subject

9:22 pm
We haven't spoken since we got in that fight.
I've been drinking a little more than I should

10:10 pm
I gave one of your exes a lap dance
I wink at you over his shoulder
I want all of your attention,
your eyes glued to me.
I want you to forget the rest of the room exists

10:44 pm
I throw up in the bushes by your car
It's unlocked, so I lay down inside
I think about the look in your eyes,
half anger, half adoration.
I think about how I want to tell you that I love you.
I think about how the last person I said that to convinced me
that I don't deserve love.
I think that maybe she had a point.

12:16 am
I don't know when I fell asleep
but when I woke up,
you were sitting in the car next to me.
You aren't smoking, but you're playing with a match.
I think you look beautiful in this light,
just the flame from the match
and the odd shadows that come from inside the house.
You tell me we need to talk.
I tell you to grow a pair and talk to me when we're sober.
You remind me that we're rarely sober at the same time.

12:18 am
I tell you that I'm sorry I'm so mean to you.
You say you know that I don't mean it.
I tell you that I don't want to be another her.
I don't want to treat you the way my ex treated me
because you deserve better than that.
I tell you that you deserve better than me.
You give me an odd look but don't say anything.
I realize that your eyes aren't bloodshot.

12:31 am
I ask you to drive me to the high school
because I realize that I left my car there
earlier today when I decided to cut class.
As you drive
I realize that you never fixed your hair.
I realize that everything about you is messy
and that the bags under your eyes are just getting worse.
I also realize that I think you're the most beautiful person in the world.

12:40 am
When we got to the high school we didn't talk for awhile.
I didn't get out of the car.
You didn't ask me.
We don't look at each other for awhile
but our fingers keep brushing against each other.
I was supposed to be home 40 minutes ago.

12:41 am
You look at me and I realize what you're gonna say.
I can see it in your eyes.
"Al, I just want you to know..."
I know what happens next.
You're going to say that you love me
that you think I'm beautiful
that I'm your best friend
that you want to spend all your free time with me
that you think maybe you'd wanna marry me someday?
Ryan told me you've been telling him these things lately.
I look you in the eyes, trying to stop myself from crying.
"Seriously? Grow the **** up, Pete." I snap.
You don't say it.

12:42 am
I wish I was a better person.
I wish we'd met before she ****** me up.
I wish I could tell you I love you.
I wish you would stop laughing.

12:43 am
You kiss the inside of my wrist,
and I want to smack you but I don't.
Just before I leave your car,
I grow the **** up and look you in the eyes.
"I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
You look shocked that I said something like that.
I know that you're an extraordinary man.

1:46 am
We're still in the high school parking lot.
I've given up on going home.
I haven't stopped apologizing for every ****** thing I've ever done.
You haven't stopped kissing each of my burnt fingertips in turn.
I ask you to light me a cigarette
but I fall asleep before you can hand it to me.
You're gross and I hate you.
wren Aug 2014
7:14 PM //
Will you marry me?

                                                                                             7:38 PM //
        Yes. Not today though, it would be dark by the time we got home.

2:30 PM //
Marry me

                                                                                            2:35 PM //
                                                                                                     One day

6:50 PM //
Marry me

                                                                                            6:50 PM //
                                                                             I can't today, but I will

2:14 PM //
Will you marry me

                                                                                           2:16 PM //
                                                                  Yes. It's too hot today though

2:17 PM //
I got a bag of cheetos I've been trying to finish for like 3 days can we get married when I'm done with the bag

                                                                                           2:20 PM //
                                                                                         I guess we'll see

6:27 PM //
Will you marry me
                                                                                           6:28 PM //
                                      I'm not dressed well enough but yes, eventually

6:29 PM //
I'd marry you in pajamas and you'd still be absolutely stunning

                                                                                           6:30 PM //
                                                                                             You're lovely

11:42 PM //
Lets get married
                                                                                          11:43 PM //
                                                        If you insist. It's kind of late though

11:43 PM //
It's daytime somewhere

                                                  
                                                         tn
A week or so ago, I started collecting screenshots of when my girlfriend asks me to marry her, which is literally once a day. So this is what I have.
Skye Sep 2018
1:29 PM WAKING UP

1:35 PM INSPIRED

1:36 PM EXHAUSTED

1:39 PM EXCITED

1:45 PM EMPTY

1:47 PM ANXIOUS

1:52 PM NERVOUS

1:59 PM NOTHING

2:03 PM ASHAMED

2:04 PM TIRED

3:27 PM NOTHING

4:05 PM DISAPPOINTED

4:28 PM IRRITATED

6:08 PM SAD ???

6:33 PM BORED

8:16 PM AMUSED

9:48 PM NOTHING

1:45 AM TIRED

3:19 AM GOING TO SLEEP
idk.
allison May 2016
Monday 10:20 PM
I drank hot tea once you left and I guess I drank it too soon. I burned my ******* mouth.  I think that has a correlation to you leaving me.

Monday 11:00 PM
Please come back.  Please don't really leave.  You promised to always stay.

Monday 11:11 PM
Please, I'm sorry.  I'm begging for you.

Tuesday 12:04 AM
leaves voicemail sobbing

Tuesday 12:25 AM
We can work through this, please. You promised.

Tuesday 1:40 AM
Goodnight, my love. I'll love you forever.

Tuesday 6:00 AM
I hardly slept, I woke up clenching my pillow craving it to be you instead.  It wasn't.  Will it ever be you again?

Tuesday 7:17 AM
I'm not handling this too well.  I really need you.

Tuesday 12:00 PM
I'm going to try and work... I love you.

Tuesday 12:05 PM
leaves voicemail sobbing uncontrollably Work called me off.  I think that's a sign for me to cope at home.  However, I was looking forward to staying busy.

Tuesday 2:37 PM
I love you with my entire being.  Please think about this.  You're ending 9 months in one day.

Tuesday 11:00 PM (INCOMING TEXT)
I hope you're doing okay.

Tuesday 11:01 PM
I've missed you so much.  I'll be okay.

Tuesday 11:10 PM
Please tell me you love me.

Wednesday 1:30 AM
I love you, sweet dreams.

Wednesday 7:30 AM
Good morning, still little sleep.  I can't stop thinking of you.  I wish I could skip work today, I don't really know what's happening to my body right now.  

Wednesday 2:00 PM
I'm trying to hide from everyone at work.  This is really ******* hard.  It's hard to try and act okay while providing good first impressions.

Wednesday 6:00 PM
Can I come over?

Wednesday 6:40 PM
Is it too soon to see you?  Please say no.  I need you.

Wednesday 7:00 PM (INCOMING)
Yes, it's too soon.

Thursday 6:02 AM
I haven't ******* slept at all.  I need to hear your voice.  I keep listening to your voicemail's, but I only get 5 seconds in without crying.  I shouldn't have made you everything.  Now, my everything is gone and not okay.  I'm not okay.  I should have made you at least a little less of everything, so maybe I would be a little OK.  Maybe I would be able to recover that way.

Thursday 12:00 PM
I'm at work again.  It's just as hard.  You're not with me and I've hardly slept this week.  If you were with me though, I'm sure I wouldn't sleep either.  My heart has been pounding out of my chest this entire week. I can't eat either. These have been the only consistencies this week.  That and my dizziness.  I have been so ******* dizzy.  Everything is always spinning.
some days without you
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
5:58 pm.
The tortures of the week
are bookended at last.
The sun has gone to slumber
Hoodie zipped and a layer
Of crimson lipstick;
I am out the door.

6:15 pm.
Numb hands clutch each other like lovers
there's a wind that snips like scissors
The train is late.
I wait.
Just another weekend, anyway.

6:17 pm.
Warm breath gushes from an open mouthed train
I step inside.
Bottles clink at cold feet as my bag is lain.

6:20 pm.
The train stops.
Shudders.

6:22 pm.
It's moving again.

7:00 pm.
Miles from home
I've entered my mini weekend world
That gnawing weekday feeling lifts from my chest at last

7:12 pm.
We walk, the six of us.
Up the hill,
Turn left.
And there's the woods.

7:14 pm.
"Does anyone know how to start a campfire?"
"I can't see a ****** thing."

7:45 pm.
Orange flames spit at the sky
Illuminating the branches above
A criss-cross mesh gives cover so little
To six cherry red cigarette ends.

8:32 pm.
The clinking bottles are
gone
thrown in a bush?
I think
I may
have drunk each
one. or more?
(Who knows)
I do.

8:45 pm.
I explore.
No one to guide
But five pale faces
moonlit and smiling and tripping on twigs

I finally feel I can join in their smiles, too.

9:01 pm.
I don't know these faces of moonlight all too well
But they're starting to feel like home.

10:32 pm.
A change of plan
We stagger though the door
Of her empty house.
I count 8 of us now,
I thank my lucky stars
I've spare clothes packed
And bask in the warmth
Of a new friend's house.

11:06 pm.
Sat on cramped carpet floor
I smile as the warmth fills my lungs
A buzzing high replaces faded intoxication
I pass it on
And am given a shoulder to rest upon.
(I'm so happy. Wow.)

11:48 pm.
My head is so fuzzy.
And the quiet boy from school
Sits across the room
Him and I
We're far more alike than I'd ever have known
And I'd never have known
If not for tonight.

1:15 am.
I never want this to end.

1:30 am.
She plays her hushed guitar
As I lie on her shoulder
She's so beautiful

I didn't know she could sing.

I wish she knew.
I sit back on the floor.
(She strums her guitar
And sings her last line
In a voice so **** quiet;
'Where is my mind?')

2:45am.
I never knew how different a film could be
Surrounded by friends
And high as the sky.

3:33 am.
I sleep.

5:02 am.
I wake.
The boy waves
From the side of the room
A silence not uncomfortable
It almost feels like June.

6:58 am.
I go to sleep once more.
And I'm happy.
I'm so happy.
At last.
A slightly longer poem I wrote about the most memorable day of when i was 17. What I thought to be just another weekend at first soon turned into one of the happiest, most peaceful nights of my life, and I'm not particularly sure why, but I hope I captured it relatively well.
i Mar 2014
pm
12.00pm--
now she was floating
in thin air.
she couldn‘t see herself
because she was not
even there.

13.00pm--
she barely heard
the police siren in the
far distance.
she could feel her ghost
slowly separating from
her bleeding body.

14.00pm--
all she felt were hands,
number of hands touching her,
all over her body, examining
her like she was a science project.
she didn't like it.
but soon she was going to be with
him, and that's what calmed her.

15.00pm--
finally, she was finally gone.
she didn't exist anymore.
all she was now,
was a spirit, while
her lifeless body was in
an old coffin.

16.00pm--
before she went and saw him,
she wanted to know how her
mom was holding up.
she certainly didn't expect this,
her only daughter to be dead.
nobody did.

17.00pm--
she saw him.
just a glimpse of him,
but still.
he was here, with her.
finally, they were together,
where they truly belonged.

18.00pm--
she was now in london.
she left the rainy and dull
germany and went here.
she was just a ghost,
she could go anywhere
she wanted.
after a long tine, she was
happy,
whatever that meant, now.

19.00pm--
she hasn't seen him.
she was exploring the world,
but she could sense something
was missing.
it was him.
and she would do anything
in her power to find him.
after all, she killed herself for him.

20.00pm--
he still wasn't found.
she didn't even know where she was,
heaven or hell?
it didn't feel like any of those.

21.00pm--
she was torn.
this wasn't heaven.
nor it was hell either.
it felt like something,
bittersweet.

22.00pm--
she went by her house.
she shouldn't have.
she saw her mom,
crying her eyes out on the
dinning room table.
she felt quilty, for once.
and she kept watching as
her mom screamed and cursed
at the world for her daughter‘s death.

23.00pm--
it wasn't in her nature,
but she gave up.
she shouldn't have,
but she was worn out.
her death, her dying,
was a mistake.
but she realized it a little too late,
and now it was impossible to
turn back time.
Nabs Dec 2015
By Nabs

07.00 AM :
I rubbed my eyes, blearily heading to the bathroom. Nightmare haunting my steps, as if it doesn't want to let me go.

Waking up was less dreadful than getting ready.

07.03 AM :
Turning the water knobs, was like an exorcism.
More aware, more awake, yet the blankness was still there. I wonder If today's the day.

The shower was cold as always.

I went out to fetch the towel, I never once looked at the mirror.

9.30 AM :
The first period was literature.
We're learning about the classic fairy tales. The teacher asked us for questions.

' Why does stories only tell about the fairest of them all?"

I managed to seal the questions back to where in belong.

9.55 AM :
The girl next to me received a crumpled paper ball.
She's very kind, and have the sweetest dimples.
As she reads, I can see her self esteem crumpling up, not unlike a paper ball.
I hugged her.
She asked, with hollowed voice, If I wanted to know what was written on it.

I shook my head, I already know what it is.
It's the same word, that still echoes in my world.

'FAT ***', was written on the paper.

12.30 PM :
Lunch was always a tiring affair.
Noisy chatters and baleful glare.
Distaste at how the line seems to never end.
Counting calories to pass the time.

Glancing at my wrist, deciding what food to eat based on the way my hands circle my wrist.

12. 34 PM :
Navigating cafeteria was even worse.
It's like avoiding the poisonous full course, that an assassin serve at you.
Bullying as a side dish, teenage drama as the main course, illusion of escape as the dessert.
The hustle and bustle of school life.

You are bound to accidentally consume that poisonous ****.

12.45 PM :
After I finished eating mashed potato and green beans, some hyenas approached me.
They clawed pleasantries and congratulated me.

"What for?"

"You are thin now! That's like so awesome! "

"But--"

"Also a friendly advice, I'd watch out for that mashed potatoes! Thinking about all that calories make me shudder!"

They walked away with a bounce on their feet, and howls so loud that all the others are staring at them curiously.
I am left bleeding out and nauseous at the encounter.

I clutched my stomach, feeling claustrophobic.

Desperately, trying to banish the thought of emptying my self.

12.59 PM :
The sound of flushing, hits my ear.
Shame crashed against me with doubled force.

I heave again. Body trembling.

The bell rang.

14.00 PM :
It's the last period for the day.
It was health class, and the teacher are telling us about the importance of food. That denying your self sustenance was equal to slowly killing yourself.
He looked at me, I pretend to not see.

Last week, a senior died of anorexia.
His body was too used of rejecting food that he couldn't accept their proposal again.
His stomach balked at the thought of getting back again.
He said goodbye to the world after 7 days of divorce.
The funeral was a messy affair.

I knew him.

15.00 PM :
I opened my locker,
Head spinning from all the people that approached me today.

They were people I barely know.
Congratulating me on losing my weight. Said I was prettier. Said I look good like this. Said I should keep being this way.
Asking me, what's the secret?

They all asked with a saccharine sweet smile on their face, as if it is a good thing.

As if being sick, is a success.

I wonder if they will still call me pretty when they see the bite marks on my knuckle.

15.20 PM :
On the way home I saw a burger joint,
my stomach was clawing for food but my mouth tasted like acid.

I wonder if drinking water will be enough to quench my hunger.

15.25 PM :
I passed a water puddle.

I saw a gaunt faced girl, with a pale complexion.
Her used to be lush hair turned lanky.
Her lips were literred with cuts and bite marks,  her eyes had faint purplish circle.
She looks so different from the person I used to know.

I continued my walk, trying to ignore the emptiness that had stayed in my bones.

16.30 PM :
My mother went into my room, when I was lying in my bed, counting my ribcage.
She looked at me, and a pained look crossed her face. I can see that she's holding back her tears.

She hugged me gently, as if afraid I will crumble with a touch.

I wanted to say that I wont turn into a wraith and vanish like my aunt, but I'm afraid it would be a lie.

"I'm getting better mom. Look here! I got more meat!," I said to my mom, hoping she believe the lie.

I know I'm turning fainter by the day.

She hugged me tighter, brushing my falling hair.

16.53 PM :
My mother left me her baked cookies, I nibbled on it. Wanting to stop being so starving. Ignoring the way my stomach want me to retch it.

I took another bite and count it as a success.

21.00 PM :
I stood in front of the mirror, that I had been avoiding for months, hoping to finally see my reflection.
Instead what I see was all the calories that I needed to burn,
The flaws that my body have,
And plans about not eating tomorrow.

I wonder if It's better to burn my self to ashes.

22.00 PM :
I went down stairs to grab some water.
I heard my mother crying to my father.
Said she's afraid I would vanish away from her.
Said she don't think she can take it any more.

Said she felt like she was cracking every time she sees me.

There were red gashes on her arm.

I swallowed the bile threatening to come out, ignoring how cold I feel despite the heaters on.

22.05 PM :
I smashed the mirror with my knuckle.
Rage and hopelessness was coursing my whole body. I let the tears and everything out.
The pain was sharp, and shards of glass were graced with my blood.

At that moment I saw my old self flashing in front of my eyes. So I kept punching the mirror until it is completely splintered. Shards of it was falling to the floor.

Satisfaction was addicting.

22.45 PM :
I went to sleep with gauze wrapped, still slightly bleeding, fist.
Blanket securely covering me, hoping the nightmares will not come today.

They did come, but they were nuzzling me.

07.00 AM :
I rubbed my eyes, blearily heading to the bathroom. My fist throbbed.

On the fractured mirror was written,

OUT OF ORDER:
This mirror is distorted by socially constructed
ideas of beauty.

Get a new one.

(P.S: You look fine as always)
To all the people who is fighting Eating Disorder. We Will make it
Brandon Conway Sep 2018

September 16th 2018 1:34 pm

The war started between the illegible instructions and chunks of wood. I decided to enlist, well, more like volunteered. I arrived at the camp today and met a few loose screws. They don’t have time to train us, we are being shipped out as I write this in my journal.
I hope to god I survive this thing so I can see her face at the end. She will be ecstatic to see me alive, I know she has her doubts. We can not let the engrish win.

September 16th 2018 3:17 pm

We have arrived to our camp. It’s a pigsty. Styrofoam specks cover the yard like snow and cardboard chunks are blown to bits just over the trenches. No time to settle in. Just enough to down a cup of dirt coffee before we charge in. It’s been storming all day, everything is covered in mud.

September 16th 2018 3:56 pm

Stage one has been complete. We have a wall up. This should help stabilize anything that comes after us. It was no easy task and we have been told this was the easiest part.

September 16th 2018 4:32 pm

The foundation has been completed. There were casualties. Henry, a brave man, lost a hand and had to be evacuated. We can hold them back if our aim is true. I hope there are angels watching above.

September 16th 2018 4:33 pm

There are no angels watching, only devils in the disguise of pictures with the number on the wrong side and the finished side flipped around. The foundation had to come down. Back at square one.

September 16th 2018 5:56 pm

The foundation has been rebuilt. Correctly, I hope. More men have been lost. I know this is dark, but one had a flask on his body that hasn’t been emptied. It is now emptied.

September 16th 2018 6:29 pm

The wheels have finally been installed. We are now mobile! Thank god. We can now trek over anything that gets in our way. It’s still pouring rain. I wish I could find another flask.

September 16th 2018 6:53 pm

Hooks and roll and top have all been fitted and examined over. We may have done something right for once. There’s hope that we will win this thing after all.

September 16th 2018 8:48 pm

We stumbled onto a cache of cold ones. We lost sight of our goal for a while. We are back on track marching forward.

September 16th 2018 9:17 pm

The last wooden peg has been hammered in, the last ***** has been ******* and locked. This is it, it’s finally over. We won!

September 16th 2018 9:18 pm

“It’s about time” was my only reward.

It’s ok, I came out stronger than what I was. I have scars I can tell my kids about. The blisters from using hand tools and the knowledge on how to decipher Chinese disguised as English. Useful talents I’m sure.

September 16th 2018 9:20 pm

Finishing off that cache.
Today I put together a cabinet island.
My To Do List:


1. Wake up to face the day         6:00
2. Let out the dogs:  6:10 AM
3. Check the basement for any messes 6:15 Am
4. Get dressed for the day and gather materials    6:20
5. Leave for school      6:30
6. Do my best in school 8:00-3:20
7. Get home and feed the dogs      5:00 PM
8. Help prepare dinner      5:30 PM
9. Eat          6:00
10.   Rush to get a good start on homework    6:40 PM
11. Let the dogs out AGAIN           7:00PM
12. Do dishes        7:15 PM
13. Worry about being too loud   7:17 PM
14. Wash table             7:45PM
15. Re check the kitchen for cleanliness   7:50 pm
16. Rush to get back to homework    8:05 pm
17. Get ready to let the dogs out again    8:50 PM
18. Get an overview of what homework I need to finish at school. 8:52
19. Listen for a commercial to come on to let the dogs out that way I don’t interrupt the show. 8:58
20. Quickly let dogs out again 9:00 PM
21. Let dogs inside 9:10 pm
22. Wait for another commercial to say goodnight    9:20 Pm
23. Say goodnight     9:22 PM
24. Take a shower 9:25 Pm
25. Get ready to go to bed   9:45 PM
26. Repeat    6:00 AM
This is litterally EVERY DAY
im gonna break it down to you real ****
5:04 PM
then im out
5:04 PM
stop waiting
5:04 PM
and looking
5:04 PM
nothing is there
5:05 PM
but you and like yr body and stuff
5:05 PM
there are pressing things
5:05 PM
i can feel them around you and stuff
5:05 PM
take a breather and stuff
5:05 PM
youre fine and stuff
5:05 PM
stop caring and stuff
5:05 PM
be free and stuff
5:05 PM
it's like that
5:06 PM
you'll get nothing and be empty if you don't make the stuff
CI Thomas Apr 2020
i want to lie in bed
with you
12 AM
legs tangled in the blankets
we don't need to speak

i want to sleep peacefully
curled into your side
1 AM
the wind whistles
we sleep on

i want to feel your breath
on my skin
2 AM
you whisper in my ear
every wish and every promise

i want you to wake me up
'let's go see the stars'
3 AM
under the blinking lights
you ask me to dance

i want you to tell me
all of your dreams
4 AM
you brush my hair back
'you're my dream'

i want you to come to me
when you can't sleep
5 AM
i won't promise you'll be okay
but i'll hold your hand

i want you to get up
to go for a run
6 AM
'come with me'
'no' i get up anyway

i want to shower
you climb in with me
7 AM
you wash me
i wash you

i want to eat breakfast with you
you cook and i watch
8 AM
you try to flip a pancake
it falls on the ground

i want to rush out the door
we got distracted
9 AM
i'm late for work
so are you

i want you to call me
when i'm at work
10 AM
'do you want to get lunch?'
we always do

i want to receive a message
'there's a delivery from you'
11 AM
you sent me roses
my favourite

i want to meet up
at the diner we always go to
12 PM
you're already there
sprawled out in our booth

i want you to convince me
to skip work with you
1 PM
'i have lots of work to do'
i call my manager

i want to eat ice cream on the pier
and watch the boats go by
2 PM
i smash your cone into your face
you tell me you love me

i want to go to the fair
you win me a teddy bear
3 PM
we ride the ferris wheel
you kiss me at the top

i want to ride bumper cars
'first hit buys dinner'
4 PM
i get you first
your car hits the wall

i want to walk in the ocean
our feet in the sand
5 PM
the sun is setting behind us
you push me in

i want to go to dinner with you
at a fancy restaurant
6 PM
you order my dinner
and laugh when i can't pronounce the dishes

i want to sit with you
no rush to leave
7 PM
you get down on one knee
i say yes

i want to rush home
your hands roaming my skin
8 PM
your hot breath on my neck
i can barely get the key in the door

i want you to make love to me
tender and warm, hot and sweaty
9 PM
your hands on my thighs
my fingers in your hair

i want to sit in front of the fireplace
your arms around me
10 PM
bowie belts from the record player
you sing softly to me

i want you to kiss me
like i'm always on your mind
11 PM
like i'm you're first and last breath
like you and me? we're forever
Bec May 2014
12 AM silent tears, matty hair, wet cheeks, exhausted sockets
1 AM runny nose, hushed sobs, escaping eyelashes
2 AM car horns, brisk winds, rising goose flesh
3 AM screams, pain, quiet
4 AM unsteady breathing, ripping apart of pearl necklaces
5 AM cocking of a pistol's safety
6 AM whiskey breath, ***** tongue, an empty orange juice carton
7 AM chattering of neighbors and schoolchildren
8 AM shouts of husbands and wives briefly forgetting how to love each other
9 AM ringing of flower shop cashiers, whistling of tea kettles
10 AM guilt, ample remorse for the undead
11 AM business lunches, speedy dates, short ***** to pass the time
12 PM recollections of a first kiss in Central Park, replay of 12 hours ago
1 PM promises to meet for dinner someday, hair salon gossip
2 PM chiming of church bells, unanswered prayers to invisible gods who doubt your purity
3 PM catcalls, ignored pleas of attention
4 PM passing of verdicts, granting freedom
5 PM wasted apologies, divorce papers being signed
6 PM an old woman's sheets ruffling for a final time, descendance of the sun
7 PM lighting of street lamps, laughter over pizza, beers and a dining room table
8 PM locked doors, readings of bed-time stories
9 PM whispers of "I love you", murmurs of "I'm sorry", snores of a newborn
10 PM breaking bottles, crashing glass, foggy windows, smoky glances
11 PM blood stained clothes, yells of fear,
            the sounds of a lonely girl running into a busy city street
new type of style I decided to try out; it's a time table of the day after
Alana Jul 2014
it's 3 am and I'm screaming for help, can you hear me?
it's 4 am and blood is pouring out of my skin, where are you?
it's 5 am and I'm crying so **** hard, you left me.
it's 6 am and I'm staring blankly at the ceiling, I miss you.
it's 7 am and I put on my sweater and my fake smile, you won't even notice me.
it's 8 am and I'm staring at you walking with her, I need you.
it's 9 am and I go to the clinic and pretend to be sick, I can't handle this anymore.
it's 10 am and I was sent home, I just want to end everything.
it's 11 am and I'm hungry, but I can't eat because you'll think I'm fat.
it's 12 pm and I give up and eat, and also hate myself a little more.
it's 1 pm and I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, I just puked out my guts.
it's 2 pm and I think of you and me and how we used to be, I miss you so **** much.
it's 3 pm and I'm staring at myself in the mirror, I look awful.
it's 4 pm and I'm staring at my phone, I'm waiting for you to call me.
it's 5 pm and I'm exhausted, I cry myself to sleep.
it's 6 pm and I wake up because of the shouts of my family fighting, pls come back I need you.
it's 7 pm and they tell me to eat, I don't eat.
it's 8 pm and I stare at my phone again, I'm still waiting for you to call.
it's 9 pm and my heart hurts, please I need you.
it's 10 pm and I'm reading our old messages, you said you'd never leave me.
it's 11 pm and I'm still waiting for you, I really miss you.
it's 12 am and I start crying, I'm not good enough for you.
it's 1 am and I feel like ****, she's much better than me isn't she?
it's 2 am and I really miss you, can we at least be friends?
it's 3 am and once again I'm sitting here broken, and you shattered me to pieces.
Heather Harlot Jun 2015
12:00 am: go to sleep. You've long run out of short tasks to distract you from the heaviness of your body, made of rags soaking in the waters of your despair, and you've quite forgotten why you're awake in the first place. Girl, wring out your fingers, and go to sleep.

1:00 am: sleep is your cold husband on the other side of the bed, tugging the covers away and not sharing in the madness and sacrifice of this night; he has left you behind, girl. You can't remember his last embrace. He lays there, in his silent refusal to acknowledge your desire for him, unloving and untouchable.

2:00 am: you imagine your favorite cartoon characters from the stripes of light on your ceiling. Where is that light coming from? Your neighbor's back porch possibly, bit you don't really know.

3:00 am: you get up with motivation to do something nice for yourself. You haven't surprised yourself in a long time. You start to clean your room. By 3:15, you are lying down again. You're not sure you deserved the hassle in the first place.

4:00 am: you figure that it might be simpler to start your day now, but 4:00 am as a concept puzzles you. The lines are too blurred; is it today yet or am I still living yesterday? By the end of the hour, you decide it is a trick question. There are no lines at all.

5:00 am: suddenly, you realize there is something wicked about the last lingering moments of nighttime and the birthing breaths of morning, that being on a bridge between two opposite places is more like tightrope walking on a rope that extends from both ends the further you walk to one side or the other. Girl, you stand immobilized, barely balanced, above the widest abyss.

6:00 am: you accept the rising of the sun upon you as if mourning the loss of your mistress moon, who leaves you unceremoniously and with only an emaciated duplicate of herself, receding into your back brain, hand-in-hand with the You who only exists in the night time. They'll be back, girl.

7:00 am: showers need to be scalding hot for you to forget your skin. The steam floods you. You are all but present.

8:00 am: you don't precisely look like you in that big mirror in your front hallway. You look lost under coats of time and grief. Girl, who are you trying to forget?

9:00 am: people are talking all around you. Their voices blend together.

10:00 am: despite what you've told your friends, you do have somewhere to be, but that place does not miss you.

11:00 am: maybe it is all in your head.

12:00 pm: if it's all in your head, why does it nest inside your body? It makes a home in all your valleys and canyons and its voice echoes through you - "What you are looking for is not here either."

1:00 pm: you do pay attention in class this time, but only to not notice the boy behind you who reminds you that everybody will leave you.

2:00 pm: you, too, will leave you.

3:00 pm: the bell rings. Another echo vibrates you. "Are you still here?"

4:00 pm: at this point, the only thing that sobers you is holding your father's painkillers in your hand. You play with the childproof cap. You miss the days when you'd wake mom up in the middle of the night and ask her to open it because your perception of your pain is so simplistic and temporary that all you need is what's in that bottle. But now you will not open it.

5:00 pm: you walk the dog. The tips of the grass give you a crawling sensation on your ankles, and it's too unpleasant. You want to leave. The earth is communicating with you. "You don't belong here either."

6:00 pm: I - nevermind.

7:00 pm: you try to understand the way your heartbeat accelerates when people say goodbye. The hurt explodes off the top of your head, sizzling like fireworks. At the end of the day, you are the only burn victim in this flaming building.

8:00 pm: "Are you still here?"

9:00 pm: girl, you're cracking open at your seams and you can't fill those spaces with other people's stories anymore, empty, cellophane wrapped intimacy. Do you remember what it feels like to be touched?

10:00 pm: even the moments that you're in can't tolerate you anymore. You exhaust your seconds and they escape you, like everybody else. You lost the last natural blessing that means anything. You are alone. For God's sake, why are you still here?

11:00 pm: your mother is right. This is drama. Your father is right. You're a bad example. Your lover is right. You've got nothing to offer. Girl, why are you still here? You are the hurricane taking yourself down. You are ripping your own roof off and shattering your own windows; you step on the glass and debris and curse God for his carelessness, his heartlessness, his terrorism. He doesn't respond. God has left too.

12:00 am: you surrender to the sounds of the storm and finally get some sleep.
Joe Aug 2019
Boris Johnson is PM
I beg your pardon
Come again?
Boris Johnson is PM

Let’s assume that I’ve misheard
What I’m hearing sounds absurd
I can’t believe a single word
Boris Johnson is PM

Boris Johnson is PM
Calm yourself, count to ten
Close your eyes, read it again
Boris Johnson is PM

I implore you please say you misspoke
Is this some cruel disheveled joke?
Democracy gone up in smoke
Boris Johnson is PM

Boris Johnson is PM
Watermelon smiles in number ten
Chant it to the garden bridge and back again
Boris Johnson is PM
Boris Johnson is PM
Boris Johnson is PM
I know that it is hard to swallow
But chin up Blighty let us not wallow
It is with further great regret
I must inform you of his cabinet...
Lily Jun 2018
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
I hear your laughter in my mind,
The clear ringing of your happiness,
And I just want to hear it again,
Mingled with my own.
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
I see your smile under my eyelids,
Your body curled up on the couch
In my favorite red sweatshirt,
Your gorgeous blue eyes gazing at my own.
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
I feel your arms around me,
The gentle rhythm of your breathing,
Your soft hair brushing my cheek,
And your heart beating within you, just for me.
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
Every happy or sad thought
Is traced back to you;
You are constantly on my mind,
But after the world turns off and the darkness comes on,
I can see you so much more clearly,
And my ache is renewed.
Please, someone stop me from writing after 10 pm.
I don't want this pain.
megan Jul 2014
september 14, 2009
10:13 pm
why is the garage door shut? i cant get in
your phone must be dead my messages wont go through

september 14, 2009
10:15 pm
i can hear the car running in the garage oh god oh god i called an ambulance butm my fingers arree shakingi you have to be okay dont

september 15, 2009
11:27 am
i opened the garage and you were sitting there with a tube running into the drivers seat and why did you ******* do this you cant you wouldnt you shouldnt this isnt real none of this is real

september 17, 2009
3:04 am
babe, i miss you
i miss you so much i cant take it

september 17, 2009
3:07 am
they havent shut down everything yet its only been three days
how has it only been three days

september 19, 2009
11:17 pm
your funeral was today (i didn’t cry)

september 29, 2009
12:23 pm
did it hurt? i need to know if i should join you but i dont want it to hurt because im scared, im too scared
im scared of the fact that ill never see you smile again
i love you. did i tell you that enough? i dont think i did

october 17, 2009
1:39 am
YOU SELFISH ******* *******, ITS BEEN A MONTH AND IM STILL HERE AND YOU STILL ARENT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I FOUND YOU, YOU ******* *******. SITTING IN THE CAR IN THE GARAGE WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING. DID YOU WANT ME TO SEE YOU LIKE THAT BECUASE ILL NEVER FORGET IT ,,,,,
mayvbe ive benee drinnking a litlter morre than mnusula but yoi shouldve let me comem with hoyu becaussee youre my hnhome and evertyone think sims  insanen i just miss you msoo much comee hooome to mew

october 31, 2009
7:01 pm
its halloween and im going alone this year
why do i have to go alone

november 24, 2009
2:24 am
i had a dream that you were making me dinner and you gave me a spoonful of something tomato-y and we were laughing and dancing in the kitchen and you kissed me but your lips dissolved into paper and your skin slid off into a puddle on the floors and the walls collapsed around me but i could still hear your voice telling me everything was okay
when i woke up my lips tasted like tears and i couldnt breathe

december 2, 2009
3:36 am
you cant be dead on my birthday
last year we had a picnic in the park and drank macchiatos and you told me a story about the magician you had at your birthday party when you were seven and barely tall enough to see over the table he was doing tricks on
you cant be dead on my birthday you cant

december 24, 2009
10:17 pm
christmas eve was ****** without you
i hope its better wherever you are

december 25, 2009
9:03 pm
christmas day was also ****** without you
how do i get rid of this ******* headache

january 3, 2010
4:19 am
how do i do anything when everything we did together is laced with arsenic?
******* for taking away my favorite places
******* for taking away my favorite bands
******* for taking away everything

january 10, 2010
8:56 am
your pillow doesnt smell like you anymore

january 17, 2010
5:49 pm
this is so pathetic im still sending you messages its been months
my eyes should be dry by now

january 22, 2010
7:08 am
did you know that your mom called me crying yesterday because she found your old baseball trophy in the attic and we cried over the phone together and its the closest ive felt to you in ages and ages but it slipped away through my fingers faster than quicksand

january 25, 2010
3:45 pm
i almost took a whole bottle of pills and slit my wrists last night but you were standing above me whispering to me and i couldnt do that to you even though you did it to me first

february 4, 2010
1:01 am
was this my fault? did i do this to you? i warned you that i was broken but you pieced me back together with strands of moonlight and i wish i wouldve seen how bad you were hurting before you stepped off the edge

february 6, 2010
6:36 pm
i hate you

february 7, 2010
4:49 am
i could never hate you
you know that
my head is pounding

february 27, 2010
12:32 am
happy anniversary sweetheart
*message failed to send
recipient account terminated
دema flutter Oct 2018
2:17 PM.
It hits me, I'm late.
2:17 PM - 2:18 PM.
My heart begins to ache.
2:19 PM .
I realize my life is over.
2:20 PM.
I gaze through the car's window into the sky.
2:20 PM.
I question my entire existence.
2:20 PM.
A tear escapes my eye.
2:20 PM.
Driver asks what's wrong.
2:20 PM.
"I'm late, again." I say out loud.
2:21 PM.
I realize I'm actually 3 hours and 39 minutes early.
2:22 PM.
My heart continues to ache; my life isn't over. Ugh.
sara Sep 2013
11:29 PM
how long has it been 11:29 PM i wonder
how many times have we leapt in circles through space,
and how long until it will be 11:30 PM i wonder

11:32 PM
how long ago was it 11:29 PM i wonder
and did my headphones say “small” or “smart”
sing it again if you please, i beg of you
i just can’t quite catch it
the webbing of my ears was built by a faulty spider,
drunk on success, he was
one too many flies he caught in a day, they say behind hands in soft voices
now his work is a mere shadow of what it used to be

8:24 PM
i can’t bare moving my eyes upward
and seeing 8:25 PM
it would make my stomach twist and my organs grow cold
2 minutes line my eyes with dark marks and i’m only existing on a plane of melancholy

2:46 PM
i
want a reason to be sad
i need justification
i need a reason
not an excuse
because the world is cold and my printer broke
and i lost my favorite stuffed animal
and i’m not a five year old anymore
because i ******* hate Nike so ******* much

somewhere past 11:23 PM
i lost the minutes in a haze of emotional speeches, never to be heard outside the blue-lined walls, and steam
a fuzzy 11:40 PM reflects a faint shape of a vessel,
carrying one soul,
destination; THE END
arrival time; unknown
eyes brimming with anxiety i exist outside my head only

i lost track of the time
i don’t know if it’s dawn or dusk or day anymore
i only know muted poundings and pathetic drops of water across the floor
the white white white white white floor
i should get a watch
it's like 8 or something right now
Shelby W Feb 2015
1/19/15
4:03 AM: why did you stop caring about me?

1/22/15
11:46 PM: I've been so alone.

1/25/15
3:27 PM: you can't give me advice about staying sober when you are always high.
3:29 PM: i don't think you'll ever understand how bad this hurts.
3:30 PM: you don't understand how badly I've been hurting.
3:30 PM: you don't know how bad you hurt me.
3:31 PM: you tore me apart.

1/26/15
4:21 PM: do you ever scratch your scrub your skin until you bleed?
4:31 PM: sometimes i feel like i'll never make it out...

1/28/15
5:03 PM: there's a gun underneath my bed
5:10 PM: i keep it within reach just incase the war gets to be too much
collection of texts that you never responded to.
Keith Johnsen Apr 2014
Sent yesterday: I miss you.

Sent at 4:33 am: no I don't.
Delivered.
Read at 6:51 am.

Sent at 10:16 am: I wish you would say something.

Sent at 10:20 am: don't respond I'm sorry.
Delivered.
Read at 10:20 am.

Sent at 11:43 am: you're the acidic aftertaste of swallowing my pride

Sent at 12:29 pm: I regret you.
Delivered.
Read at 1:02 pm.

Sent at 6:44 pm: I remember the last time I kissed you. Your lips were still dry because I stole your Chapstick and you held my hand and the back of my neck, I was afraid you were starting to think I was going to fly away.
Delivered.
Read at 6:45 pm.

Sent at 8:34 pm: I broke into my dad's liquor cabinet again. Remember when we celebrated my six months clean? It's funny how that was so recent.
Sent at 9:52 pm: that six months thing is hanging over my head like a ******* rain cloud and you're Zeus. Get your ******* lightning bolts out of my head.
Delivered.
Read at 10:27 pm.

Sent at 11:11 pm: I wish this was different.
Delivered.
Read at 11:11 pm.

Sent at 11:59 pm: goodbye.
Message send failure.
Try again?
Gaby Comprés Apr 2017
9:24 am: i am cleaning my room and singing along to an ed sheeran song. i thought of me, cleaning our house, and you, leaning against the doorframe and smiling at me.

1:24 pm: it has been raining all day and i am wondering if you believe in the beauty and magic of rain like i do and how perfect it would be if our first kiss took place on a rainy afternoon like this one.

1:26 pm: i refuse to entertain the thought that the two thoughts i've had of you were exactly four hours apart means something. but secretly i hope it does.

3:54 pm: will i think of you at 11:11 tonight?

4:19 pm: will i love you even when you make spelling mistakes?

9:24 pm: i wrote a poem today about my high standards and i thought of you and how you won't be afraid of pursuing me, of loving my heart. i thought of your fearless heart and how it will love me the way i am.

9:28 pm: i am thinking of the number 24 and how at the 24 minutes of three different hours you popped into my head. did you think of me today? did the thought of me make you smile? do you wonder about me, the color of my hair, the shape of my face, the song of my heart?

9:32 pm: my heart sometimes wonders if it's pointless to think of you, because maybe there isn't a you. but my soul tells my heart that i think of you, and therefore you are.

10:24 pm: before i close my eyes, i hope to think of you. and after i close them, i know i'll dream of you. and if it happens at the twenty-fourth minute of whatever hour it is, i won't be too surprised.

10:27 pm: i am starting to believe that 24 is a magic number.

— The End —