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Joe Halliday Apr 26
Pale seals stare at numb hands
Unsure what they’re for
They clap and claw and clasp at the shore

Then they’re heading back out again
Out of their frozen minds
Soles slapping across the shingle of time

Till the wild sea spews them out
Sick of their bobble hatted taste
Then another wave of pale seals wade out to take their place
Joe Halliday Mar 2020
Bert likes chewing on ***** old socks
The lady is a supertramp
She plays a guitar made of sticky tin cans
With a wheely bin for an amp

Bert smears custard across her cheeks
Then lets wail her battle cry
She ducks and dives from the dreaded flannel
Makes it clear she won’t comply

Bert hurls her broccoli
Like a vegetable javelin
At first we sigh and shake our heads
But in the end we all join in
Joe Halliday Dec 2019
He said she said
She gave him
An affidavit

They said
You said
We said

We said
You said
I’m not

She said He said
He gave her
An affidavit

They said
We said
You said

We said
They said
Your mouth

He said she said
On their
Cosigned affidavit
Joe Halliday Dec 2019
A conveyor belt
Of pressed blue suits
In every one a snide

We cannot let
All hope be crushed
By a cruel landslide

All those fearful
Little Englanders
Primed with nationalistic pride

We must not let
All hope be crushed
By a cruel landslide

The delusional deniers
Scoff at the
Rising plastic tide

We shall not let
All hope be crushed
By a cruel landslide
Joe Halliday Dec 2019
The country is a vicious dog
So feed it what it wants
De Pfeffel looks on gleefully
The mongrel slobbers as it chomps

The mutts were not to know
As they proudly wolfed It down
The chocolate lies now sickly
The dog has been put down
Joe Halliday Aug 2019
I met a gorilla
In a jungle
Of native species

She kept her oxeye
Daisy on me the whole time

A cowslips past unnoticed
By the blush red columbine

Lily of the valley was
Sporting a foxes glove

The cornflower and the cardinal
Seek guidance from above

A swamp of soured milk weeds
Seeps past your eyes

The firmly rooted ragged robin
Looks up awestruck at the skies

The bergamot was wild
Running circles round the yarrow

Black eyed Susan moped along
With her bluebell filled wheelbarrow

Good dogwood sets paw after paw
Creeping through the common nettle

As lance-leaved coreopsis
Charges in to test his mettle

I left a gorilla
In a jungle
Of native species
Joe Halliday Aug 2019
Boris Johnson is PM
I beg your pardon
Come again?
Boris Johnson is PM

Let’s assume that I’ve misheard
What I’m hearing sounds absurd
I can’t believe a single word
Boris Johnson is PM

Boris Johnson is PM
Calm yourself, count to ten
Close your eyes, read it again
Boris Johnson is PM

I implore you please say you misspoke
Is this some cruel disheveled joke?
Democracy gone up in smoke
Boris Johnson is PM

Boris Johnson is PM
Watermelon smiles in number ten
Chant it to the garden bridge and back again
Boris Johnson is PM
Boris Johnson is PM
Boris Johnson is PM
I know that it is hard to swallow
But chin up Blighty let us not wallow
It is with further great regret
I must inform you of his cabinet...
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