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Fel Jun 2014
Philia above Eros
My love for you

I love you like a friend
More than I love you like a lover
Saw a cute post on Tumblr about the different types of love. Decided to relate it to someone who I love very dearly
Arke Sep 2018
early, I worried our love was ludus
that you were merely playing with me
it was hard for me to believe that anyone
could love me when I did not love myself

or that I could allow someone to peer into me
and that they would hold me the way you had
with sincerity and beauty as deep as the oceans
and passion and fervor as strong as the waves

love, please know that my poetry is affirmation
a constant reminder that what we have is more
that it's persistent and real and infinite
my love refuses to diminish or disappear

if I must write a dozen poems for you
declaring my undying love for the world to see
I will continue to do so week after week
until I run out of words in the dictionary

yes, our love was ludus -- and eros, philia and agape
if I'm fortunate enough in the months to come
for the gods to smile at me and grant me bravery
I will find a way to break my chains

and if I'm lucky and you still want me in the end
if you do not tire of my over sentimentality
or the way my eyes become honey when they see you
I would get on both knees and beg you to be mine once more
Elizabeth Frost Aug 2013
I wish Americans spoke Greek.
Did you know that there is more
Than one word for
Love, in the Greek language?
Agape. Eros. Storge.
And Philia.

Unconditional love.
I cannot even
Comprehend. How much
Love that is.
Unlimited. Unrestricted.
That's how all love should be.

Passionate love.
Sensual, emotional,
Romantic love.
The physical side...
Of love.
Intense, this kinda love
Needs a while to come out.
Don't rush.

Love as affection.
Parents love their children,
Wives love their husbands.
Acceptance into a
Special place in someone's heart.
Familial bonds. Caring love.

And Philia.
Loyalty to others,
Mental love.
This is the love between friends.
The love of objects,
And places, etc.
Not unconditional,
Not passionate,
Not affectionate. But just,

Our one word,
Love, is broken into
Four words.
I want to be Greek,
I want people to know what
Kinda of love I mean,
When I say,
"I love you."
To people.
B Lee Aug 2018
Broken flesh, infected in dissolute.
We tend to dispute our vision of the world seeing only black and white.
Our eyes decieve us blatantly concealing the harmonic view of a one race with different shades.
Philia filling my heart with philosophies of what love actually is.

Conforming to the emotions of our soul drifting towards carnality.
Seduced by the luring sweet scent that our desires tend to offer often leading to our spirits fatality.

A promise is yet to come. A sacrifice made for us with the Annointed One hanging under inri. We forget our mistakes are not irreversible and He gave us the chance to live with Him for eternity.

Agape. The love so beautiful its tangability pushes us towards Him even when our lifes are resisting. His love being the cure to my absence and His peace being the sustainter of my who am i to barricade you from His real love.
This was written for someone special to me.
Hanny Geraldine Jul 2015
I used to be a philophobic
Then I met you
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
/                        innocent until prōven guilty,
contra guilty until
                             prōven innocent...


         so the minority report?
guilty, while innocent,
    based upon a premonition?
hindsight with a zodiac
type of interpretation...

   innocent until prōven guilty
has no superiority
in practice over the continental
guilty until prōven innocent...

no... because the principle invokes
                  of suppositions...
treating the two as propositions -
or rather... "verbs" inacted...

innocent until prōven guilty -
then no understanding of freedom,
at least guilty until prōven innocent
allows understanding
restraint, however unfair,
   with 18 years lost...
   and then the tears of relief!

                     Tomasz Komenda...
         an "espionage" case of staging
               en masse...
   an innocent man walks away
from falsely imposed justice measures...
a redemption...
       a count de monte cristo
                 but in reverse?
the evil man walks free...
     succumbing to old age,
    and dementia, a pontius pilate pardon...

there is no redemption aspect
of the saxon course of applying jurisprudence...
the... innocent, until prōven guilty,
contra: guilty until prōven innocent
                the latter overshadows
the former...
                         because we're not babies...
at least with the latter:
there's a redemption exegesis -
     but with the former?
                bitter-sweet tears within
the confines, of an example akin
                             to jimmy savile...

guilty until prōven innocent
   has much more authentic emotional
content, with a redemption narrative...
innocent until prōven guilty
   has?    not much,
                                  just a grave,
and the stunted emotional expression,
what ought to be flowers
within the heart,
   instead: fungus, growing in the dark...
and thus... translating
to other hearts:
   let's allow this chemo-phobia
chemo-philia experiment
     be left intact in its the momentum...

honestly... the study of law -
   is probably the ******* game
in the allowance of games of
adulthood... one tier above gambling.

   because you know there's proof:
and that the past-participle
thrown into a future, does require
   an omega rather than an omicron...
not an oh, but an ooh...
        hence? reign from above,
on the omicron, with a macron (ō).
I think about you often enough
Your companionship fills me with warmth
We don’t even need to talk
Sitting next to each other will suffice

I know I hurt you, as I have done to many before
Commitment, rather lack thereof
It’s almost like a sickness that burns in me.
Like a parasite controlling my brain

I only want to love you
But, as far I can see
The only way I can help you
Is to stay out of your life

But I can’t
Call me selfish
annh May 2020
Buttered parcels filled,
With rose hips and cinnamon;
Heartache’s antidote.

‘Only the pan knows
how the boiling soup feels.’
- Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2018
/my "insomnia" isn't exactly a problem, when rationalised via: a Freudian desert, namely, i sleep, but have not luxury to dream, which makes a sense of death all the more procreational for thinking's sake... insomnia like dementia... or rather... better the erosion of the thought aculty,  replaced by hallucinogenic inducement to counter the erosion of the dream mechanics... currently staged by boorish media, 24h reels of insomnia pusher outlets... so who gave ol' zuck the oyster tongue, greasy skin, and a wet, shrinking prune *****? comes a time when a boy gets to grow oop... chances are, if you're insomniac, you are not an escape artist, and you deem the escapism of bound to dreams, as yet another, sheikh dubai lamborghini promenade, riding it at an urban speed limit of 30mph... revving for the "fear factor" of... dancing with gingy 'arry... risqué... insomnia erodes dreams... all the better, in that perpetuation of a mummified blink... theatre's curtain falls... what sort of Freudian banana is there to speak about, when attempting to compensate the intellect, for a *******  Eiffel... notably... an individual's insomnia comes after, the media insomnia, bite sized 30 minute intervals on repeat for 24h hours... and in between, no  in-between programmes, that might allow journalistic digestion... a lack of dialectical exercise has created journalistic indigestion... most notable and in plain sight... when applying the pedantic counter dialectic observation, in the form of diacritical marks.

doubt is a luxury in the current zeitgeist,
to unravel doubt,
when compensating love,
as a chemistry of endomorphines...
doubt, is the equivalent
of an intellectuals synonym
of love... both are gambles,
uncertainties, both are:
wavering of the heart, pendulum
   doubt is a phobia-philia...
a love of fear, less strenuously:
an apprehension regarding
the fact that Zanzibar made it
into song lyrics, and is a place
that actually exists, in situ...
without any global mention
in culture mining...
for those starved from loving...
afraid of their own shadow
and loneliness,
cogitatio ex-et-qua claustrophobia...
don mclean's starry starry night...
as big as a *******
universe and as plebian
as the lost V in a thespian
and the lost F in: definite article...
FE VACUUM PINT... sorry... POINT?  
doubt is a luxury,
equivalent to love...
doubt is a thinking man's love...
in both instances the heart
is swayed...
     how quickly did the Narcissus
economics become
the semi-autistic solipsistic pillar
that undermined the shear
exhilirence of doubt = love,
post curiosity, posit trust,
posit: disembodiment...
posit... and the siamese dream factory
(no smashing pumpkins' cliché)...
doubt is a luxury,
a graphite find,
with synonym-covert findings
of the gem equivalent to:
a fear of the existence of
the unum anima...
     and the precipitation of
    in the case for the argument
for the existence of purgatory...
because being sedated by a general
anaesthetic... is not quiet tot...
but doubt is a luxury these days,
sometimes misunderstood as
but rather the ease of having
opinions, for the sake of
everyday narratives,
not dialectically challenged...
doubt, is akin to love,
in that there's the wavering,
nonetheless a teasing carrot
hanging before:
the palms that became
the Roman lynch whips...
one man rode a donkey
and suddenly four horsemen took
to a gallop...
     doubt is a luxury...
given our times...
    notably because the existentialist
replaced doubt with denial...
and denial, has no luxury
of thought as genesis,
instigator, alpha precursor...
     denial is not a luxury,
it is an accepted norm...
               perhaps the subtleness
of love in the guise of doubt
as the antithesis of erratic pulverisation
not associated with thinking,
or rather: cogitatio per se, est
supra "quaestio" moralis, id est:
     narratio moralis...
doubt is a luxury,
in times, when man looks upon
man as a chimera of
a wolf, a fox, and a sheep / goat...
doubt is a luxury,
when denial becomes the norm;
          this doesn't even have to
invigorate the comic holocaust denials...
but the sort of denials,
that allow a small town to exist
and the globalist city-state
cannibalism to also, exist...
        a "denial" for the sake
of "myopia"...
          came the pseudo-Socrates...
and the dialectical-Elijah...
              Copernicus the genius,
thesaurus handy,
also the solipsist, and also
the cider brewer's concept of
          mind you...
the thin line...
between atheism and autism...
an atheist arguing for the nonexistence
of god, countered
with an autistic- arguing
                for the existence of a self,
without being questioned
by the other's demand for an
existence of, the self.
doubt is a luxury...
denial is the new standard,
Elliott Jun 2017
Mr. Cole plays on
In the background as I
Continue to type,
but my writing feels dry.

I want to call someone
Just to hear a voice that’s not
A character from a show.
Everyone I know
Is sleep,
related to me.

My cotton sheets feel
hot, even
against my skin
and I can’t focus on anything
but my concealing passion.

but the only Companionship
I find,
is with my dog
and depression.

Who cares?
is just a
fancy way
to say
"You're hot"
Sam Anthony Jun 2017
Love is a funny word

I can love my wife, my friends and my kids
Willing to sacrifice my sexuality, my time and my very life
I can love a political idea, my job and my country
Willing to sacrifice friends, family and unity
And I can love sausages

Maybe the Greeks had it right to use various words
It’s hard to know the difference between
“Hiya, luv!”
“Are you alright, love?”
“This is luurve,”

Loving things, people, ideas and experiences
The same and different
Important and prioritised
And what unifies people as well as love?

Love is a funny word
Let’s use it some more
Kelly Rose Aug 2015
Once we were lovers mind, body, and soul
Eros has flown, only philia remains
Sadness takes hold, no longer am I whole

Distance creeps in; the heart is inconsolable
I am drowning in sorrow’s cold grey rain
Once we were lovers mind, body, and soul

Love is diminished, leaving a gaping hole
Deep inside.  Our connection slowly wanes
Sadness takes hold, no longer am I whole

I feel I am only playing a role
Toleration fades, leaves only disdain
Once we were lovers mind, body, and soul

Failed actions have taken a painful toll
Slowly dying, overtaken by pain
Sadness takes hold, no longer am I whole

Future uncertain we’ve lost all our goals
This slow erosion lets sorrow’s madness reign
Once we were lovers mind, body, and soul
Sadness takes hold, no longer am I whole

August 2, 2015
はなろ Sep 2017
you touch my fantasy
warm my soul up
kiss my mind
bite my heart

in no word

then leave.
Annie Jun 2015
She looked at him with philia
As if she stood a chance
In her bedroom, she created a world
A dream of New York, Rome and France

All she wanted was him,
But she poetized her love on papers,
Like a child tells a pet,she wrote
"Darling,I will fight it like a scrapper."

She longed for a peek from him,
For, in him, her world dwelled
And when saw him beamishing,
All over again in love ,she fell

Then one day he went away,
Over the seas, over the bay,
She mourned ,lamented,
And finally gave way,

In her last breath she said,
**"I am strong and I could still fight,
I had regarded him as my life,
But I want to see him one last time."
Ashley Rodden Feb 2014
I just don't get it.
  I don't quite understand.
If you love me and I love you.
  Why can't that be enough in the end?
I can't help but feel like I'm being compared to your ex life.
  It's like you already have it figured out in your own mind.
Your biggest thing in the beginning of us was hope.
  Sounds like now you're letting life get in the way of that.
I guess I always knew that it couldn't stay how it was in the beginning of us.
  It never does.
But, I just thought maybe if I held you tight enough you would finally see that
  I love you even in spite of me.
Because I still remember our first kiss and I still get chills at the touch of your    hand.
I still get excited to see you and I love waking up next to you in bed.
I haven't lost my passion for you not even a little bit.
You still intrigue me and turn me on.
I know what it's like to be scared and have doubt consume you.
I've experienced both in this relationship a time or two.
But, I've never doubted my feelings for you.
And I've never been scared of you.
I don't know how I'll ever make you see that being loved by you is more than enough for me.
I don't care about the world because you have set me free.
I believe in you and me.
So we can't just give up when things get tough.
I'll never try to keep you if this isn't where you want to be.
But I will try for you and hopefully then you will see that I love you.
Beyond reason and I'll love you beyond all time.
I don't give up on the things or people I love.
It's just not in me you see.
Because I believe love will always find a way.
No matter what has happened.
No matter what comes to be.
I can be okay with that as long as you're here with me.
Because you are my king and I the jewel in your crown.
One doesn't shine without the other.
We have tested theories and proven ourselves wrong a million times.
I don't know what it's going to take for you to not be scared and just love me.
For me it took a lot of courage and time.
I don't know what you need from me to make you feel okay or convince you that I am here to stay.
I won't abandon you I've told you that from the start.
I won't give up on you or stop trying to mend your broken heart.
Agape, Eros, Philia, Storge, take your pick.
  It doesn't matter how you say it, because it's all the same in the end.
© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved
by: R.A

Treating someone as a meaningful thing
Regrets create, the effect it means.
But how sure they are, if love will bring
Faults and mistakes in this world that we’ve been?

The reasons we live to achieve our goals
Agape, Storge, Philia, and Eros.
The cycle, pattern, and the sequence of cause,
A perception we lost like a withered rose.

Do not expect anything in return
The truth concede no need to concern,
Love can exchange, a thing to discern.
Retain the patience, we need to learn.
Maria Monaghan Apr 2018
What is the body of a woman?
She is stardust,
Passion and desire.
She is paradise,
Cosmic and enthralling.
She is poetry,
Sapphire and ruby.

What is the body of a woman?
She is hidden,
Sinful and perverted.
She is apostasy,
***** and Gomorrah.
She is shameful,
Torturous and gleaming.

What is the body of a woman?
She is secret,
Philia and Eros.
She is repression,
Exquisite and divine.
She is carnal,
My burden and my joy.
Sebastian Perez Jun 2012
Looking for an exit in life, perhaps other option that is rarely available. Time travel, utilitarian way to modify the past and the future.

Trapped in a matrix of flesh and bones controlled by my encephalon, it controls  every part of my daily life, from breathing and blinking to helping myself memorize.

A feeling of antipathy in life that could never bring me happiness.  

The inculpation for the misapprehension in my past relationship and future.

What does a man like me to do? How can one display their philia when they're not certain of that emotion?

My endurance in this life is on a perpetual edge. I perceive with attention toward happiness.

A deprivation I share with others. An absent of happiness.

A happiness of dominance; a switch that is only controlled.

Today he can be happy; switch ON.  Next week he can be unhappy; switch OFF.  

I walk on egg shells in this relationship and have to be careful that it won't break. I'm sad and lonely, this is what I get and deserve.

God nor I could change this, but I don't see it happening during my remaining life.

Stifles with silence deploying infantile  plots. A day at a time I enunciate as my composer easily is un-maintain.

Hidden arcanum among a number of these unidentified entities lashes out at me discreetly.

Posing no threat I conceal the pass deep in the abyss in an unmarked grave sealing off the hippocampus that only the Creator can breach.

Unannounced the gravestone is turned my past is breached which I assumed that only the Beneficent can release.

Once an inhabitation, but no longer my domicile. Set aside and noted as a lost monument.

Ascendency barbarous with words of articulation fatal to ones self esteem, grossly spoken enslaved. An inclination to the predisposition of my life.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
as with any plaster work, or draping muscles and bones and
organs in skin - i knew i reached a zenith of some sort:
forever introspective, that chance momentum
that never reaches a museum of retrospective
finalised banalities -
and with that's happening in America,
i get a chance glimpse into that part of the world
so bogus, so *****-like, so haphazardly
put together - the chance to see the rats (artists)
jump ship and head to Tangiers, Paris, London
(for the pillars of the movement to come,
London especially, but might i suggest Edinburgh?
the capital of the offshoot that's to come
from Scandinavian novels?) -
i wouldn't suggest heading to Prague -
or Budapest - never to tourist hot-spots, obscurity is
what you need - Edinburgh out of season,
then the theatrical circus isn't there -
***** poetics: poncy monologues and Annabel
art-house flea markets... but that's the beauty,
flea markets in France, charity shops in England...
but i did exhaust this one musical avenue,
i dropped the ᚱᚢᚾᛖᛋ - it got boring after a while:
all that charged up mythological feeling -
the way we always wanted: myths to feel with,
to eat, rather than the sterile scientific facts...
i've learned enough to later ditch them,
even a Professor of Chemistry will have a postcard
of Edward Hopper's painting by his desk,
that window to view the world that doesn't
necessarily encompass sun moon and constellations...
how anyone would be foolish to scrub off
some inspiration from such things bemuses me,
the lowest of the low of poetic expressions is
sung to things that manage too much: the moon
and the sea tides, the sun and the seasons and
phototropism - it's a double edged sword...
only from one art to another do we get to see
our labourers of attention, else the same old deficit:
god... who in his glee took offence at anyone
having more awe-inspiring sense to please such
things... no alone can you master contemplating
both the beauty and the utilisation behind such
objects as a single man... however well...
it's impossible... you're sharing the bronze platform
with those that simply wrote of the shallow
beauty, and those that found these objects
were not simply aesthetic, but meaningful in
the machinery of things... it was never up to
us to find that electric genius of combining the aesthetics
with the machinery as one...
for in that sense god is a form as fraction
of 9/1, 8/1, 7/1, 6/1, 5/1, 4/1...
the fraction of wholeness... a complete set to start with...
man has already proved the limit as a fraction
with the base 3... 9/3, and that didn't really end well...
at best man is composed of a fraction base of 2...
by sharing the world through marriage to a woman,
or through a learned devotion, a crumb of what a woman
is, a philia (love) of his interests, a soloist voyage...
some just say: you will either take to being faithful
to philology and yourself as its devotee,
or you'll take up a wife... oddly enough chemists are
defilers of marriage having any purpose other than
to distract... but as i said: you can rarely write
decent things when trying to admire celestial spheres...
more ambition comes from the distraction of the zodiac
"prophets" and astrologers... a poem about the moon
is just a poem that is levelled with a poem
about a dustbin... but hey... Top Cat lives in the dustbin,
Neil Armstrong bopped along the lessened gravity
surface... but which is easier to acquire for a smile?
Benny... cue the violin theatrics of lamenting to a comic
well... we have to juggle each other's impressions,
taking at hacking the raw meat will not give any of us
medium-rare barbecue steaks marinated...
taking the moon as something else is: nice...
and you know how nice things end up as... as tacky
suburban *******... if you're going to tackle the
thing with all the rawness... i'd first spend looking
looking at that thing of your attention in a graveyard...
just to get the feel to the idea: well... my fellow daisies
sniffed from the roots up would probably have
said something sulky similar.
but it's like that, you get to exhaust certain musical avenues...
i'm currently at a period where i have enough
stash of jazz records to rekindle my interest in it...
on today's menu? the real McCoy (McCoy Tyner,
Joe Henderson, Ron Carter and Elvin Flynn -
Flynn makes his mark, even though not the star
of the album, Art Blakey has a match) -
then onto the tragedy of Sonny Clark with his
cool struttin' alongside Art Farmer, Jackie McLean,
Paul Chambers and Philly Joe Jones...
i must admit that after watching the film whiplash
my ear-buds staged a coup to move from a certain
type of music into this... and even though
i already said that the climate in America at the moment
is very a second attempt at a Beat movement...
it's very much different... i guess jazz makes all the sense
in a pure urban environment...
jazz and urbanity, the hipster parties where wine flows
like poetry and people get to do their wild marijuana
******... but Bukowski changed everything
by bringing a taste of the classical into the scene...
it feels just like that these days...
there's no jazz on the radio...
going back to watches and radios, mono-utility things
that are the glamours of the inoffensive cluttering of a room...
no digital screen... the radio position at the back
of my head, behind me, the little fly-eye Rubik cube
ahead of me...
that's the odd thing with coming with jazz these days...
it's like Bukowski in the shadows of the beat movement
back when it was the beaten track...
so i said that jazz and urbanity are perfect partners...
well... take jazz from an urban environment and put it
in a outer-suburban environment, in a place
about 30 minute walk from farming fields with bulls
and horses... foxes the thieves rummaging in people's
trash... and... as classical music took to
teaching us the language of celestial bodies,
Holst... in this kind of environment jazz does the same...
jazz becomes equal to classical music with celestial
bodies... i'm just wondering if there are enough
instruments to arrange the solar system...
Mercury the Trumpet...
         Venus the Double Bass
Earth the Piano
                       Mars the Drums
Jupiter the Tenor Sax                                   (comparatively,
                Saturn the Soprano Sax                using a Holst
                                                           ­        schematic, the reverse,
                                             yet citing Jupiter, not as a planet,
                                           well, the bellowing voice of paternal fury)
Uranus the Clarinet
                                           (takes sheer magic to play that thing)
so that just leaves us with an Neptune as either
   Alto Sax or Trombone...
but that's how jazz morphed since it last came across
poetry... someone stole it from its urban environment
of busy streets and ugly manners and quick quick snappy
and the millionth time i could compare it to a spontaneous
encounter with someone in a bar... jazz lost its cool there...
people said the same thing about jazz
as Kaiser Joseph II did of Mozart... "too many notes"...
translate this urbanity into an outer-suburban environment
and put it against that kind of backdrop?
well... personally, there are just enough notes in each piece...
you looked outside the window? you could hear
a **** from a mile away and no tree would even sway
in nodding approval even with a galeforce wind slapping
them... jazz lost its synchronisation with the urban environment
it emerged from... but in so doing, it managed to mature
like good wine on the outskirts of large cities,
where it literally became the only thing that could ably
make a Kandinsky moment from semi-detached houses.
NEWSFLASH... what is this concern about art being
subjective? i don't see where these arguments go...
i thought art was about revealing the intimate,
not revealing the objective shallows of a method...
of limited scope like any philosophical systematisation...
if Christopher Columbus ever did things
objectively he might have discovered Lisbon or the Canary Islands...
art can't be objective... trying to argue that art is
"only a subjective" expression... well, if it was to be
a "greater" expression objectively, an artist would
walk into an art gallery, take all the paintings from
the canvases, and turn to the public and say:
now let's see your subjectivity, otherwise go ponce
off the art critics to take something they said to your
date about how: the light contorts the features of expressions
blah blah blah blah blah... the point of art being
superior as a subjective vehicle is so that i can feel someone
else's feelings... as opposed to thinking someone else's thoughts...
art is the sensual, not the premeditated dogmatic funeral -
which all philosophers attend: they're objective to the
point that they're afraid of having a personal attachment
to their outputs - they will hardly ever want to invite
a criticism of their objectivity, because they're such emotional
paupers - they fear criticism of their subjectivity to such
a point, that you can simply look at their pronoun usage
strategy, they really do use these words like kings -
but when Mozart is criticised by the Kaiser... he thought
nothing of it... he actually thought, nothing of it,
perhaps his vanity was wounded, but his virtue wasn't...
which is why he remains with us...
for the fatal wound incurred is not that of virtue,
but that of vanity... and true virtue is unafraid of criticism,
there's this cognitive blockage that enriches the
heart and leaves the mind blank... the sort of blank
that accommodates the Pyramid of Vanity:
bishops, priests, doctors, kings, queens, portrait artists,
Versailles... such things are so ****** void of anything
but scare-mongers, sycophants, leeches and finally tourists...
for whatever you take from the realm of Hades,
there's a stamp-duty on each precious element from that
realm... each thing is stamped: worthless...
you couldn't extract penicillin from Hades...
changing gold into a ring is worthless if such symbolism
of a union of monogamy end with the ring being
nothing more than a thing disputed over the divorce settlement.
Clara Romero Feb 2016
We learned about the three types of love in class today,
and all I could think about was you.

My teacher said eros was ****** desire
and all I could think about was the taste of your lips and how they felt on my skin.
But Plato defined eros as the love of beauty in a person
and my thoughts turned to how the sunlight loves to play on your face.

Philia is the love between friends, my teacher said
and I thought back to snow fights and shared laughter.
Aristotle said philia comes from the best people,
It makes sense that everyone loves you.

The selfless love: agape
The perfect mix of the other two:
a passion and a fondness,
spontaneous and comfortable.
Agape is often described as the love between God and humans.

And gods did I worship you
and gods I didn't deserve you
but gods I think for a moment you loved me too
All I can think about is you. Word dump
MereCat Dec 2014

I grew up in what I later had labelled for me as “une famille anglaise typique” which consisted of me, my brother and my parents. It was as typically happy as those typical families that can be found in typical children’s books and children’s imaginations. We were that ‘close-knit family unit’ type family and we fitted perfectly into that ‘ideal family home’ of our typical red-brick English terraced house. It was one hundred years old but felt older and we went to church on Sundays. We were boring, safe, long-skirted.

We loved each other with the sort of love attributed to our type of nuclear state and I’ve always found it both funny and convenient that nuclear is a word for both bombs and families. Like the people who thought things up had wanted to draw our attention to how we were a touch away from detonation and a mere countdown from demolition.

Mummy blew me full of buck-shots; her Love was fired in rounds. Each cartridge of anger settled deep but left only pleasant traces behind. They lodged beneath my skin, etched with Protection and Compassion and Parenting, and those words bled internally into my immune system so that I knew how to identify hatred and remove the threat of it from my body.


If you’d asked me of Love I would have said that Daddy rubbed it through my hair when he said “Goodnight” so that it crept through my dreams when I slept. I would have told you how I’d clung to the fence of the infants’ playground until my brother had come to tell me that it was OK to let go. I suppose I might have said that it was an underrated ingredient in Mummy’s baking that she kept in a cupboard all by itself.

I would have passed you as many clichés as you could bear to take and I would have delivered them all in the half-smiling manner of a typical intelligent six-year-old girl.


We don’t sell clichés anymore. The business of Happy Family Stereotypes fell flat and we bailed out of the sinking ship in divers’ gear that only made us sink faster. Mum forgot to restock her shelf of ingredients and the time for Typical skidded through our fingers like shopping lists and childhood.

It’s not that we no longer lace our shoes with the same strings; only that the strings have been forced to fray and have shortened themselves with knots. It’s not that we don’t continue to Love each other but that we ceased to remember to love ourselves and, when we did that, there was somehow less Love to go round. What should have been an excess curdled and I watched it rise like water vapour from hedges after a frost.

On all of our To Do lists we manage to exclude the most important detail: Love Yourself. If we were to remember the task’s existence then we’d procrastinate a bit until something easier came around. We overlook ourselves and yet people still say that we humans are selfish creatures.

Too selfish to Love ourselves?

It’s not simply that self-deprecation is in fashion (although it is) or merely because we want to draw pity from those who spectate our lives (although we do) because it is with utmost sincerity that my friend and I agree that “if I was my friend, I’d loath me.”

We sit in town on benches by the fountain that sometimes forgets to spout water and rinse out the colours of our lives in the summer rain.

She says;

“Sometimes I’m scared that my friends don’t like me, because I can only ever see myself as annoying.”

I say;

“That isn’t a 'Sometimes' thing, Evelyn.”


It’s such a difficult thing to hold onto; like an idea or an aftertaste.

She laughs like I was cracking jokes on the paving slabs and says;

“Do you think we’ll ever grow up?”

And I ponder it because I know we’ll grow old but that’s not really the same thing at all. I wonder if I’ll ever grow out of my petulance and fantasies and idiocies and excuses.

“Not really. I don’t want to, to be honest.” To be honest; I say it like I'm the sort of person who wears truths around their neck and invites others to borrow them.

“Me neither. Everyone wants to fast-forward to Prom and then hold time there like, like, I dunno - like they would hold someone’s hand.”

“I don’t.” How relieving it is to confess that I have no interest in the event that 'you just have' to Love.

“Me neither.”

“It’s just an awkward excuse for dressing up and then standing around, pretending to look pretty.”

“You going with anyone?”

“Of course I’m not,” I laugh and hope that she isn’t either so that we can carry on being two lonely, ignorant, inexperienced best friends who’ve never tasted kisses and who have no concept of the term voluptuous. Boys don't fancy girls with flat-chests and freckles.

“You should go with Aidan.”

“Why, because we’re both as short as each other?”


I laugh at her suggestion even though I know how stepped-on I’ll feel when he arrives at Prom with a tie in a shade that fits my dress and an arm around another girl.

When I was nine, I followed an instruction manual for making a Secrets Box and the first secret I squirreled away was his name. I wrote it on a piece of paper and punched love hearts into it with red pen.


These days we’ve taken to exchanging banter in Tutor or Maths and I always make sure that I never make anything that’s too much like eye contact in case of humiliation. I busy myself with the fear that, if he looked at me too closely, he’d realise that I was staring back at him with my nine-year-old self. He’d recognise in my face that I still have the secrets box, empty of all but his name, and although I don’t quite believe that I’m in love with him I know that I smile inside when we have good conversations. I know that if he asks me to Prom, I’ll say yes and not just because he is the only boy with whom I am on eye-level.


“It’d be cute,” she says and I lean away, holding up my hands as a protest and a shield.

“God no.”

And here I go, hating myself again because I have absolutely no intention of ever telling her that I keep my heart like a secrets box. I confide enough in her to say that I don’t care for myself but starve myself of honesty when it comes to caring for someone else. For which, in turn, I procrastinate on the task of self-centeredness a little longer.


I don’t know much about Love. I know that there are four types – Philia, Storge, Eros, Agape – but who could say where exactly they filter into my life? I know that I ‘love’ beaches, I ‘love’ Rolos, I ‘love’ pencil sharpenings and the smell of good books but the truth is that, when it comes to Love, I'm a sherbet love heart that's been left to dissolve in a glass-jar ocean. I'm a Cadbury's Dream that chose to melt itself out. I’m a strawberry lace that someone likes to chew the end of.
not a poem really
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2016
the art of biblio- (+) -philia -
caress them and don't stone them -
never fold the edges to create a book
mark, by all means
        insert toilet paper
markings for reminder -
             but nothing else -
my birth will come from Armenia -
in cold sweat wondered if
the publisher replied, the Armenian
is on the translation -
i imagine him working agile and juggling -
never mind that - not out of want
but out of rubbing shoulder to shoulder;
although i must say that poets
fear punctuation -
          hence the cascade,
hence the            w
oh indeed poetry is a natural with gravity,
it's not fudge thick prose packaging
of lettering - (after all,
for such a long time poetry wasn't
economic, but since we've turned
digital, and give only two
hazelnuts worth of care for
the Amazon, you know,
in the digital age of endless pixel
paper, we kinda won -
we needed an endless source
of toilet paper to write on) - it's a waterfall
without a fear of falling, but punctuating
the pose in which to fall,
like Gibreel and Saladin in the satanic verses -
one ends up flapping his hands,
the other is falling like a coffin -
where's the real comedy? i think in the latter -
but never mind what i think -
the goddess of Mecca allāt had a *** change -
allāh became - and henceforth with
some other minor alternatives wishing
for a stealing an apple bobbing in Mecca -
cut the head off! but not my hand!
apple bobbing in Mecca - pig's snout thief -
but at page 625 canto XC i do a page flipping
cartoon of what i have read -
all those cantos - obviously there is no
cartoon of matchstick men dancing
tango in jazz#, you can mingle poetry with
jazz but not tango -
i don't know how they pulled it off,
jazz and poetry? hmm, poetry and painting?
i agree - bibliophile the one with
a cf. joker card up his sleeve and the ace in
his wallet -
                    instead of a cartoon movement
you have the words encrypt the days
you spent with the book;
honest to god he makes the poetry a thing
of the past for all the classical guises of
strict routine, there're no techniques
call them what you want: metaphor, item,
pun, item, onomatopoeia, item...
those aren't techniques, they're identifiers,
the boas - constricting or constipating?
whichever - cheap jokes are hardly worth
anything in a monologue since
instead of a punchline you get digression
and the jokes aren't cheap by this method -
they'll brim with bulls charging in narrow
alleys - except, well, except you keep calling it
an ******* of short-lived albino tadpoles -
ah ***... hot sauce and gravy and the only
time you dare to not think -
                                              and no, no one
forced anyone to think, on your own
you go and streak to buttocks ****
waiting for the blind barber.
i know the ones that made it, they escaped
indoctrination of what's deemed a paragraph on
education, in england they still have the imperial
units concerning education:
how much longer a student who achieved an
A grade said 'a' longer than the student who
achieved a D grade and said 'd' with a shortening -
but never mind that -
                                       the really really
famous ones dropped out, did menial bits and bobs
for peanuts and then hit a crescendo of Icarus -
took to the populist stance and never involved themselves
in higher tier affections of affairs -
politics was sidelined as themselves in role
of the water-boy - 40 years march more desired but
somehow derided - yet by some the crucifixion
embraced - mainstream vs. pantera -
                         a legionnaire -
the star of joseph hovering over Bethlehem -
and they still complain, 11 and 1 together twelve
that the concubine of Abraham was shamed
and left to wander into the sands under which
rich black gold was hidden,
Muhammad's neurotic approach toward
origins - Abraham's concubine that did more
than simply muck about in repenting -
took the short-cut and started a martial arts
movement in Japan with the ninjas.
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
The golem quakes from the grounds tremble.
The mountain howls with the wolf.
Everything that was supposed to hold mystique,
has been corrupted by proof.
A god that cant eat.
A people that cant lift their own arms,
in arms that hold each other.
Now the thought mistraced faith reforms,
deformity causes alarm in the masses because difference hits too hard.
Control mind, control body, control philia, measure all your calculations always magnanimous dose. Part.
Relinquish. Relinquish!!
Give all sanctity and hope to the state,
they will focus your hate,
through a photoelectric device.
Let them mold you into natures and **** sapien sentient plight.
Allow your shape to be devoid of integrity.
Be all you can be.
Join anything that ends with an A. Starts with an US.
If you ever take off your mask and see the cave for what it is,
we will **** you.
Plato is the design for our torture system.
When some one says. "be born",
concede and reply with "nevermore".
End life in the womb.
You will live the rest of the days light, in darkness.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2017
becoming bored of the: what came first, the chicken or the egg? i had to ask a similar question: what came first, the letter δ, or the digit 6?

the only reason why philosophy books
take so much time to read,
is because,
of all literary traditions,
               philosophy books extoll
a need to allow re-reading,
  and no, not a re-reading of the omni-
reading: the sigma / the entire
work -
              but passages of a work -
philosophy books take such a long time
to read, because one is forced to
reread certain passages several times,
if not the nadir-minimum of at least

notably? perhaps one of many examples
(and i was serious that
heidegger's being & time
  and kant's critique of pure reason
are, reasonably, worth 2 years of your
life to read through, and several
other non-philosophical books
in between...
      yes, poetry is a grand aid when
reading philosophy -
   notably due to his "
and its love for sparing the eyes
from straining themselves in
the fudge of tight-knit paragraphs):
that said: the elders should read
either newspapers or poetry,
while the young, with their hawk-eyes
the deluge of claustrophilic
          funny... we hear more of phobias
than of philias...
    last time i checked, our society
entombed only one philia,
among many phobias...
        you know the philia, it begins with
the letter p-;
           odd, isn't it?
                         to fathom a rainbow range
of possible phobias,
     and disrespect a possiblity for
what's devolved in etymological terms
    from greek, i.e.?
  how philias are understood in english:
quirks... eccentricities.
england and its people is a nation
of eccentricities, any russian can tell you
that... you don't even have to cite
     the neo-tsar of the current year;
a less pleasant ascriptive-noun /
       denoting? a, bunch of ******* weirdos!
(yes, the comma implies a quick cascade
of utterance - like ******* a
                            shoelace of spaghetti).
the example though,
   rereading aphorism no. 93 (ponderings V) -
what does reconstitute man
     as *animal rationale
rather than
firmly establishing him as **** sapiens?
well... for a **** sapiens
there must be a deus insapiens -
                   for a wise man, a mad god;
but beyond the notion of god...
would it not be easier, as aphorism 93
suggests invoke a trinity of concepts?
  no "wise" man discredits god,
  whether in idea, or whether in existence,
or when in idea in non-existence -
    because isn't that what atheists provoke?
namely that god "is": in idea in non-existence,
existence per se, cannot be an idea,
since in invokes the 5 senses
      rather than the 1 non-sense (thought),
simply, i can't grasp existence as an idea,
but i can grasp the existence of x
as an idea, since the mechanics of "an" idea
is to treat it as non-existent, and therefore
requiring me to think about it:
and since nature doesn't allow vacuums -
what could possibly fill the nature of
man, if not the ontological construct of
the existing-"non"-existent god?
    what? some hot chocolate and a cookie jar?!
that's beside the point...
     reducing man from the status
of **** sapiens into a state of
     animal rationale opens our demand
for the original status "quo",
that man work from the foundation of
qua categorised animal rationale
and moving to the status of **** sapiens,
which, by so doing, avoids
the burden of presupposing oneself
as **** sapiens, and "re-inventing"
the wheel, and crafting the posit for
                                        a deus insapiens.
the aphorism does suggest that we
are breeding an animal,
                      an animal of genes,
              rather than a human of memes,
for "man" to attain the status
   of **** sapiens from the origin
of animal rationale - is to also claim that
the current claim of "man" as
     **** sapiens reduces a "god" to
be categorised as deus insapiens
  (as stressed by the emotionally infantile
pressure: ******* built a pyramids!
   oh... so looking at a mountain from
a distance wasn't good enough?) -
but categorising "man" as striving for
the status of **** sapiens from the origins
of the already well versed
                    atheistic demand
  for the animal in man, rather than
the man in the animal...
             who could not be persuaded
to allow the striving of a "god"
              from the confines
  of animal rationale ut deus insapiens
into the existential-"zoo"
            of **** sapiens ut
                                         deus sapiens
can that question even range into
  asking whether **** est deus
ut deus est man - and that this whole existence
has an omni-spaien dimension
  with a ?, given that the big bang was
not ? remark, but an ! -
    a question is hushed
into philosophy (murmur), while awe
and fancy and daring shouts! explodes!
Breeze-Mist Feb 2018
Someone who tastes like
Ramune and Faygo, smells
Like Shenandoah

Waiting for six months
Only to find that you are
Eighteen and fourteen

Eyes just like snowmelt
Soft, cool, and fresh in the spring
Small signs of some hope

A homecoming dance
Bumping bodies in a crowd
When your date ditches

The news surrounds us
Against suburban ap'thy
We are fighting back

Speaking of the sea
Advanced chemistry, and of
Secrets kept from mom

One year of dating
But the sun and earth go back
Farther than we do

Maybe we'll see it
Like a rose blooming forth from
Torrential blizzards
All the words of love are written,
To my darling, my lover, and best friend,
I am ravished by these thoughts of you,
From every sunrise 'til the day's end.

The day we met, our journey began,
But it began with the end of another.
We brought with us Philautia love,
Loving ourselves before each other.

Ludus makes us dance in the rain,
Like children who love to play.
We joke and tease and tickle,
And we'll be forever young this way.

Eros pulls my eyes in your direction,
Consuming your body with my mind.
Its passion joins our flesh,
And sends chills along my spine.

Philia opens our hearts to one another,
As our friendship blooms like flowers.
We share interests and even secrets,
And talks that go on for hours.

Pragma should take years to mature,
But instead of 'falling' in love we 'stood.'
We committed ourselves in a mere moment,
To forever love each other, we would.

Even Storge has a presence here,
In the eyes the children see you through.
This familial love makes this a home,
And is complete because of you.

And now I find myself in Agape,
A culmination of all of the above.
It is selflessness and sacrifice,
And it is the epitome of love.

All these words of love are written,
To my darling, my lover, and best friend.
I promise you this Agape love,
From now until this journey ends.
Emma Price Nov 2018
It's easy to tell where agape
becomes philia
but how can one tell when they cross from philia
to eros
~much love
zebra Jul 2017
Eros......****** love, hot slow gooey ***** and *****....foot kissing *** slave that covered

Philia...shared good will.....hell that covered except maybe when i keep you chained up in the bathroom for a week at a time
but you  finally realized it's for your own good love....wish you where my kissin cousin....ok so **** that

Agape ......universal love...selflessness.....You would die for me ...your definitely selfless....mmmm but it does make you wet so ?????

Ladus....practical love...i think we are a little weak in that department since no one is givin any one no money

Philautia...self love you love your self ?...I know i love myself more when you love me too but i do have self esteem issues :)

****** Torture *** Love.....****** to death discovered in a dumpster feet over the head..kinda stinky with big **** eating grin ....definitely cant wait to try that ..grrrrrrrrrrrr !!!!

On balance I'd say our relationship is right on track
Mateuš Conrad May 2016
that's the ******* and a tip with the English tongue, missing the diacrtical marks, the punctuation marks are a rave! a rampage! italicise all you want for want of emphasis.... a single exclamation mark will undo you... princely honesty... non-engagement in diacritics leaves you stark naked in the biblical genesis lodged almost innocently thinking up a centimetre for a comma, a kilometre for a full-stop, a nanometre for a hyphen... a metre for a semi-colon... you know the brothers Grimm... here's the colouring-in book.

well, somebody has to
be the villain
and not the *fury
tank operator,
a brad 'prosopagnosia' pitt;
thank **** it wasn't an easy
-philia or -phobia
to compound woo woo wee hurrah!
i know,
all the rich cartoons would
become bonkers and sarcastically lazy -
like in real life!
Dante Rocío Nov 2020
I give you the freedom
to interpret “We” in general
or as just Us

may your Intimacies show you
what will guide my pendants
of thought kindlings.
I leave it undisclosed  too.

We are evanescent, Juliet.
Yet complete in how shattered we are.
A fractal.
We can’t trace our fingers over tangible frames of the ways of Connections,
clogs of the paths
Love cracks
from what we believe we have already surpassed.
We know we have no capacity of learning with clear logic
how We work,
what Philia makes of Us
and what we make of it,
how the seeds of uncertain Passions
find their way through
and out of Us.

It is indeed a huge insecurity of ours:
trying to find, trace
(on a lone garden wall
made of bricks and creepers),
and keep in our fragile handling
what these feverishness coming
out of hand do with us.

But then we
stand behind the other
(optionally or not: of our self still),
in the same way
and trembling
if I make it right, or rather we make it right.

The hands of both parties come
in one click and then
though we accost errors
we make our perfectly imperfect
clingings with some glass in that wall
as we again and again come
and will come into
which seem new
but stay one and the same

or saddened by the world ideas that will keep on putting us through questioning “Who am I?”
with our silences filled with answers
that we will keep on becoming
and accomplishing without ever taking sentient notice.

I take you as we are.
You take me as we are.
We stay strong in that pair
of trembling hands that
though they do not know
what is ahead of them
or already as Them
when it comes to Love
or any pure emotional arousal
we make of ideas, we accept it.

We won’t ever encompass it
but it encompasses us.
We welcome how much we don’t understand
our bodies or how all of that
and even more flows
and will flow,
we are it,
teary from resilience.

Errors - not
Broken - not
Nought these names made up for perceiving *** and bodies,
these measly words as enough as one isolation to a whole abandoned waiting room at now

I stay in full apprehension and readiness
of what I come to exist
as and what feeling becomes me,
I won’t chain myself to
the scheme we might draw
with chalk on that garden wall.

And be that too alongside please,
simply of.

I am, will be there,
going through all the same strangenesses
yet kissing each
and every one
on their ivory breathing ribs,
because they only seem
to be deformed
and at unease.

I will stay in Love.
I will stay outside of it.
Without naming it or putting it
to any formality

let all these questions be a waterfall on you and welcome each and every one of them.

We don’t have to understand them.
We just will be.
We will stay as questions and just let it be. We don’t have to be apart.
We don’t have to be bound for eternity
with pacts or our bodies entangled.

I simplistically. approach.
these hurt questions with a stupefying tenderness of giving
each and every one of them
a chance to.
A thin line of peach freeze.
Sentinels of senses themselves, my arousals of then.
Phronemophilia stays unswayed. I am still in the same bliss.
Let see where we as consciences will grow and shape to.

In the end
it is seen
that loving anyone or anything
was only the pathway to solely harbouring ourselves and Love itself.
It is unchanginly It.
Same verily sacrum in choice of



lest ever.
Coming to meet your mirror once you’ve considered yourself fully mended already leads you to reflect upon all the lessons you’ve taken in already and undermining the stability of your development. To rejuvenate or rehearse them again bare and undone.
Carol Staples Lewis made the same affiliations in his works and pondering when a senior devil meets his junior acquaintance, telling of his own experience, going again through their wisdom and what the younger one should reflect upon.
Yet now this is not about God, morality, sneakiness or any other machination.
This, is On Love. Gibran-like uptake to go through what That is beyond human relationships and models.
Dedicated to my mirror, here my trial of what I’ve come to learn myself in that matter to my own junior. Testing me.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2017
for one, i don't understand this atheistic concept of seeking eternity, by the sole way, of passing on one's genes; never got to grips with this, dare i say, existential fetish? in all honesty, some people rather pass a train-of-thought, just as it happens when socrates became neglectful to the family life... some people have other "gene" infested "babies"... one man had his "baby", known as the lightbulb... another had the steam-engine... another had the general anaesthetic... yet another had penicillin... **** me, the list goes on-and-on... in reproductive terms, that's called what? i.v.f.? yes, metaphorically speaking.

and so i can only consummate myself
to the dedication of being oath-ridden...
    i know i'd be a ****** partner for a woman,
except *one
,      if helen of troy
    could launch a thousand ships...
       my woman is -      sophia of edinburgh...
third year at university,
    majoring in chemistry...
     age? 21...
        learning, for the first time, of a subject
known as philosophy...
    this is england, and if you're in a catholic
                theology is a priori with respect
to the dame, that -sophia is.
    argument no. 1: why teach 16 year olds
the ethical arguments for pro / con
            surrounding euthanasia / abortion?
from what i can remember,
        perhaps 2 teen pregancies around
   the year 2001 in my class of graduates
from school... 2.
                    so here's the crude part,
  how's the ******* with sophia?
           well... i tell myself in freudian terms:
genitals: my ego is the phallus,
               and a philosophy book is a ******;
****, i love that imagery;
                       i know i'd be a terrible partner
to anyone but ms. sophia / sophia of edinburgh,
why? i drink, i smoke, and my philia
        for music makes me, seemingly deaf
with regards to having a conversation about:
having children, buying a house, shopping
              for furniture, or at the supermarket,
tax revenue, the in-laws,
        you can blame the sound of cars and
headphones for my "deafness"...
     oh yeah... and bird songs are annoying as
**** in the morning...
          lucky robin, the silent bird,
    god! this head-wave is doing my head in!
         34°C... and in terms of writing:
                  nowhere is there supposed to be
a cohesion, a clear narrative,
                       much ado with dutiful thanks
to the evolution of tristan tzara into w. burroughs...
but again: ego with a philosophy book -
   it's not what's supposed to come out with
regard to continuing some sort of tradition of
upkept narrative -
                            after all - empedocles -
so onto the comparison in non-relative terms:
i've sent over 12,000 (12 thousand) ships (poems)
in her direction, and more are to come i suspect;
if only these american mig-taus?
                 mgtow? see how ugly english has
             become... we're reduced to acronyms...
that's ******* sign language to me, that is...
  is they could only learn from an english bachelor...
ah yes, the second silence: studying diacritical
markings...        mig (russian)
   so this canadian chick is an apache helicopter...
which makes me a MiG 29...
        or              na migi
    (in polish, translated into) conversation
                                                    ­  by winking,
  well... "conversation", more like indicating certain
   for all the criticisms of the bible...
      darwinism will never produce any great works
of art, esp. poetry... and yes! yes! these people
didn't exist! how could they!
  we don't have their
      (a claustrophobic german word):
nationalinsurancenumberbirthcertificatephonenumberhomeaddr­essdrivinglicensebankdetailse-mailaddressmarriagecertificatetaxre­venue tescoclubmembercarddetailssocialmediaaccount  

   (sorry for being  mean, but james joyce
was also mean; no ******* punctuation
   at the end of ulysses(!) making the use of bookmark
almost futile).
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2020
.i only wrote this to write... it's never about drinking for drinking per se, or to entertain "thinking"... for the first time in 4 months i took my usual night-time walk... i wanted to precursor spring... to fill the air with perfumes - so i washed myself - applied the deodrant... the almond cream, i trimmed my ***** hairs... i oiled my beard... i applied coconut cream to my face - a mango infused balm to the hands - deodrant to the feet - i left the house imitating a magnolia bush... or all that *** i get up to come the nights of yesteryear when spring finally comes and all the trumpets are alight with the wind rustling them and ushering our the scents...

at some point in my drinking:
i feel the puppet strings loosen -
and i arrive at a kuru dance spectacular -
it's hardly a dance:
it's more akin to a gimmick -
more: akin to sharpening a misnomer
on the stone-grinding-the-never-to-be-used-blade
of a synonym: blockage...
****... always with the blockage -
i can't really be making excuses:

does this even resemble a paragraph?!
once upon a time; perhaps -
but even now, without rhyme without
sparrow without a horizon
of the climbing sun -
above a horizon of mountains
of Macedonia in the cleft of a valley -
just pristine rising -
on the plateau of: where
sea fiddles with the sky and vice versa...

of a language best leftover to
a hangover of: much better use of it...
should i be bound to being sober,
being the better attired man...
when i would break the tide along
with Xerxes whipping the sea
into submission -
better well attired: purposively tailored...

a crackling sound from a snippet
interlude of how a bow-tie was born
simultaneously with the sparrow -
how man was so borrow the donning
of the tie with a crane's elongated neck -

but again: how is "one" to not tire -
gender neutrality of pronoun usage -
began with the royals - ends with the royals:
the crown is not even upon by head
and yet: this expectation's toll...

one "thing" to call it a poetic metaphor...
another to call it...
a psychiatric: hush hush: invite the broom!
it's oh so tiresome...
tiresome to have to want of this world...
nothing more than a transitional
this life that needs a mortgage...
however taxed or not taxed...
with insurance fail-safe investments...

i see a sun... i call it...
the Switz take on euthanasia...
and i'm very much a fan of this:
when one, simply, becomes, tired...
and one can tire very easily...

i sometimes read the
editorial spew...
at least they forget custard and
never, oh never never:
start the show off with fudge packing...
the ballerina breaks a leg...
a crescendo of sound makes it into
an orchestra of a waterfall -
the echo shouted into a cave...
learns of the vampiric inability to see
a mirror reflection...
the echo begins to learn to become silent...
the image is no longer seen,
the echo will never be heard...

the ice-sharpnel in the eye -
the cave has learned to glutton the would be echo...
gobble gobble it down it must....
it will not regurgitate any fleeting sound back...
and a day will come when
a man will start to philia - not love...
more: befriend his own shadow...
because it's not that beauty fades...
by that (circumstance)
there was always that interlude
of tampered with inflated beauty...
otherwise no delusion:
it was "fate" that it would happen...

and that will not stand
on anything but stilts riddled
with foundations made of sand...

an old woman's skin like creases
of forever folding paper -
but never quiet an art of origami -
more like creases - scrunches -
how an inflated ballon filled with
a dead body feels like
in dio and carbon dance -
then dipped into liquid nitrogen
will eventually look like -

like an onion dipped in the same liquid -
later picked up and smashed lazily...

what am i supposed to see...
something akin to Postnik Yakovlev's
or Ivan Barma's eyes were not gauged
out by Tsar Ivan:
dropping dogs from high-buildings
was a "thing"... st. basil's was also the last
sight of beauty before the moon allowed
her full blossom of *****...
or before the light scortched the eyes
into a fizzling out fiddle of
not lasting expectation: as ever...
this epitaph anticipation...

casual language: non-narrative...
no character study....
pork chops and a date with the halal
butcher... since the kosher one
"sort of"... "forgot"...
catching the tide of the "white flight" from

absolutely no appreciation for
greek orthodox cenobite chants...
perhaps it's now wonder...
yugoslavia... how it didn't dissolve
peacefuly akin to the gorbachev plan...
because the serbs went sword for sword
with the muslims of the balkans...
and what not...

no... this is not
type of poetry...
white is allocated to... what?
english? french?
i see the root of the argument...
in russia... it looks very much
termite infested: próchno!
which one would call: it's not driftwood...
it's spongewood... sinkwood...

but i have to thank the russians...
i need it!
it will not simply be: pleaSure...
it would be as simple if the anglo-ßaß
interchange were to happen...
but even then!
ж = ž = ż = rz...

you have these signs in your language:
but it's almost... like you can't...
rather than don't want to use them!
i need the russians' 'elping 'and...

с = s = ç

(х) - lo(ch) - i call it the drill -
oh is no och, faye dunn!
what's new?


   ц (cy - niet ka ka)

ч contra х...
č / ч 'asem...

ж                         ш


                 šč (,) that's added to the š'
is also a szczekam: i bark...

either these are the leftovers -
or these be the crumbs...

ж = ż = rz...
and therefore? depending which language...
caron r (ř) or caron z (ž) = ж...

it's very much unlike hiding a vowel...
as the hebrews do...

but i can only thank the russian encoding
of allowing me to stress
the difference between C and K in english...
greek is dead to ditto...

not quiet a с - or... cedilla attached - i.e. s...
certainly not a к...
i'm pretty sure the greeks have their:
phi and theta - psi and chi...

pivot letters from russian:

ц: plaцki - cakes -
ч: płaч - crying...
    velsh: pwaach...
х: хolera - cholera - c'olera -
otherwise: not latch but loch nessie...
ж: pleaßure...
   or... żart... but that does depend on
the caron... žart...
and half of the caron?
       źrenica - pupilla... pupil...

back toward:

ш + ч = щ...
i too was waiting for the following equation:

ш + ц = щ...
but no...

let's not discuss the variations
of й, у, ъ, ь, ю or я...

am i not entertaining a language i will not learn
to a level of conversation?
most assuredly!

зъ in roman would almost look like
ж - well... ż or the caron eventuality...
these are hardly shortcuts...

cheap - pointers...
shameless office-hours... nothing but b & w
printing - and making coffee for
the muggers of hours -

a break from solving a sudoku...
back into looking at russian -
oh... just the language... no painting needs
to be summoned...

at the royal academy of arts...
when i was skipping lectures at U.C.L.
i spotted this eye-pleasure
in flesh and blood and oil and brush strokes...
and how it towered over me...

peasant woman dancing...
nothing exactly compares to seeing this
painting in real life -
hell - the mona lisa is...
a bit like a nail-clipping...
compared to growing your hair long
and then shaving it...

beauty or technicality...
if the royal academy of arts...
would showcase the bullfight by pyotr
konchalovsky -
what's this poem this poem this isn't
a poem this poo'em?

i lament the non-existence of diacritical
markers in the english lounging-attache -
the lazy tongue that thought...
i'm not willing to play with anagrams...
i am not a fan of anagrams -
every other language game to escape
learning a second language...
crossword puzzles -
to stick to the monolingual enterprise...

thankfully for some they were born
into english: sell that talking point in scandinavia
or belgium, or the netherlands...
somewhat germany, somewhat poland...
the tourists' lingo or...
where those movies come from...

why wouldn't i look at russian letters?
a fond break-away from any sudoku -
but only via russian can a distinction be made
when... some random english native
sees a suffix -cki...

no: no amount of cyst or garcons or whatever
would ever prepare anyone for...
ч or... well (ch)atter... but not for the piquant...
dumać: to muse...

my mother tongue my affair it seems...
well... there's that...
or there's the netizen language -
or any portmanteau language in general -
but never to truly mind the hieroglyphics
of :) -

one lion roars - another lion yawns...
this most certainly sounds better in german...
eins löwe brüllt - ein anderes gähnt -
bad german is worse than no german;
at least bad german satisfies my basic fetish:
the per se.

— The End —