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Need supplants want, except when you die from want and need keeps you wanting death.


Wants have always cost less than needs in this america. then they tell you its your fault as they build your stumbling block.

Cut divine
**** divide

life box cut out sides.
Liquify,

Modernize,

Affix,

Me.

Dicast parts,
Formalize,
Metastasize.

I am Growing this agar's too small.

Feral,
Lycanthropy,
Hearts.

Through the stigma,
my bones bleed,
my wreaths hanging,
Sagging.
Of unwelcome,
all my being.
of unwelcome,
all my being.

The Truth of getting older,
the senescence of emotion
The people we love and once were,
Are gone forever.

I am not for this heartless place.
I am but Peter Pan,
understanding.

A bitter struggle,
While trampled underfoot.

Of a world,
Not built for us.

Built for no one.
Lendon Partain Jun 2021
Can you believe?
I almost let a ******* job blow my brains out
steal me from my kids and love
this system rots us inside out

it makes us dissolve and **** our selves back through a straw
and say we still aren't enough
the catharsis of it all is slipping
oozing through life not on our terms
this capital is rot incarnate.
Death encapsulated in a hermetic chamber

I breathed my last labored breath face beneath a pillow
and woke up to failure
a failure that could start the rest of life
failing up for us
is giving into the quit.

Brain unlocked, heart bound in broken promises
to children and now fear of lack of value
and resource to feed them full.

This prison immolated
crystal chandelier  impaling
only pretty to them
when stained with our blood
soaked geometry splattered
tessellated across the porcelain walls

they only smile when we weep

staring at us in our cage
as we writhe
and they dine
on the blood of our infants
on their labor not yet
realized.

Eating our children and us
right before our eyes
out of the sunlight

they only laugh when we have nothing
they only feel when we hurt
they're only full when we are starving
only sated when we need.

monstrous predators of money
and greed
they only smile when we bleed
I had to quit my  job today or else i was going to **** myself. so i quit.
Lendon Partain Mar 2021
Guilted,

In hate,

Postpartum,

Separation.

Convulsing, spitting
coughing, blaming.

I'm ruining my life, just let me die.

Set fire, Ego Death
brain case, gnashed teeth.

guilt braces on leg, only this holding me up.
swelling belly of the person i love

Mend yourself
do it on your own
no one can help you

they try and say
you're doing great
they don't understand

i was so much
more fragile
than i thought i was

im just fine
terror in my eyes
a soulless stammer

no one loves or likes you,

dead. and no one cares



They found you in the
apartment
your stench ruined their day.

an indigent  inconvenience

they left the blood on the floor
they'll burn it up anyway

the bugs love you more than
you ever felt
no one could fill the void in
your existence
the humors once inside you
leaked to fill the crevices
in the complex plumbing
i think i write mostly from recent suicide bodies perspectives
Lendon Partain Jan 2020
I’m opening my chest
Handing out ribs for everyone
Each person a shard of time
Each glass splinter from the cage that locketed my heart

Can you imagine the carnival **** for my death

Crystalline creation cremated for wax
Candles made from me bleed
Ossified dribbles of molten mass
Dehydrate, to dust and snort my being

I can take a nail to each joint
Contort ligaments
Hexagram my body parts to a plywood headstone
Force a blood curse on this carcass
**** my mouth with your tears
Take photos of my death
Spread it all over the time segments
Shove it in every iris space
Trapped in the black hole for eternity
A moment it’s happened
The light can’t be taken back
It can bend and refract but is forced to bounce around forever.

Photons of evil.
A martyr of existance.
Lendon Partain Dec 2019
I had Your
Hand
But
You're eyes can't see me
The locket
I never got to give you
Would have held
Our Secrets
Had i got the time

Time Fell off,
the Veneer of our love
the body
Of our Chimera

Teeth, Fallout,

We cant share these,
the body of our Chimera

A Siamese foot out of the casket
the dependence of mind
the body of our Chimera

I lay on,
Top of you
coddling our parts pressed
together
trying, Melt in you
or just fall out into you

mixing waxes from two evils

our sick busted brains

The body dead
of our Chimera.

I hold our throat together, so it falls not apart, no  words can come out, trapped, in the forest of ivory monoliths and the strongest miscarriages, and you pull back the hammer, we fall to the black.

OUR MONSTER HAS DIED.
Becoming one with your partner till it kills you to death.
Lendon Partain Jul 2019
Shattered grave
Of .a .life .loved.
Then lost

Brain weighs
Of. atlas
burdened shoulders

Dig through. The bones and marrow
Poison thoughts. digging scars in your arms

Follow through.
The. graves.
Suc.cu.bus. tongue

Seduction From
a bed of self slaughter

Tears dried
You aren't for crying

Blood dripped
Won't fix this cough


From your lungs

No way back
From this forest
My neurons have phantom limbs
These ents have me helpless




Impaled
On.my.own.thoughts.
Heavy

These patterns
These crushing crutches


Our spectres crawl
On the floor
This cabin

Is a hell
Stuck in
A ghost dance of

Scarecrows
With gaped throats
Saw teeth
Stuck in our smiles


We ruin
Everything
We destroy
Everything
We collapse
Every *****.             The trade off part
The piano keys
We have broken

Released
Through stitches bursting
The straws out
Our metal hearts rusting

Hurt our selves
Hurt each other
Burdens of
Guilt becomes us.    
Figments
Of destroyed fragments
Of released
haunting patterns

Scarecrows
With gaped throats
Saw teeth
Stuck in our smiles
Lacerated trees
sap beings
Filled with ghost
This suicide

Wind blown trees
We corpse and Rot in
the basement
Of ruined dreams
Degrading forever
No molecules left
the elements Remnants
All that there is

lead weights
Thrown over the levee

My eyes
Pick apart my failures

Nothing will
Ever fix our broken hearts

Quilted the loss
Into a patch making sense


Death
systems
Cadavered
systems
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